


Don't say, "I love you"

by bdamanlover4ever



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: 16 year old Gon and Killua, Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Anal Sex, Awe this is next level not okay, BDSM, Be Careful What You Wish For, Blood Kink, Bottom Gon Freecs, Cock Slut, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff and Smut, Forced Bonding, Gon is Killua’s happiness, Killua has issues, Killua is a supervillain, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Same shit different air freshener, Side pair is Kurapika and Leorio, Supernatural Elements, Superpower Sex, Superpowers, The Author Regrets Everything, Thigh fucking because Gon’s booty shorts make Killua thristy, This BOOK IS WiLD, Top Killua Zoldyck, killua eats ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2019-10-15 13:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 125,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17529350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bdamanlover4ever/pseuds/bdamanlover4ever
Summary: “That’s it. You’re so far past the line of sanity, you can’t even see the line! It’s a dot to you!” Gon shook his head furiously, “I’m leaving. You get yourself fucked!” He stormed towards the front door.Blue eyes flashed in delirium. “Wait, Gon!” Killua touched his shoulders desperately, pale fingers squeezing the flesh. “You can’t go.” His tone became somber and malicious. “I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU! WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?”“Then PERISH!” Gon barked.“You don’t know even half of all the horrors I’ve committed, how many people I had to slaughter to make this possible.” Killua looked at his blood covered hands. Then his cold blue eyes dashed up to marvel at Gon’s beautiful figure. A crazed laugh slipped from his mouth, “TO BE HERE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!”“YOU CANNOT KEEP ME HERE! Just because I suck your dick for free doesn’t mean I can suck all your problems away!”“We’re a couple. You love me. I love you. But I’m in control...” Hastily, Killua pressed kisses up Gon’s neck. The small boy trembled to the touch of lips on his flesh. Killua’s sharp dangerous nails drew circles on Gon’s thigh. “Someone has to be in control of our family.”





	1. Prologue (Of Comic books and Supervillains)

**Author's Note:**

> Does it look like my broke ass owns HxH? No. Have Killua and Gon gotten married yet? No. So you can configure...I don’t own the amazing masterpiece known as HxH. Now chill~ and enjoy lovely beautiful people.

There were things in the world that humans could never accept. Stuff they knew about but choose to remain naive and ignorant about the subject. For example, ghost, demons, angels, werewolves, aliens, spirits, Gods or vampires...the list can go on forever.

 

Human will was relentlessly allowing vast knowledge to spill through it’s grasp to obtain a simpler thing like sanity.

 

It was only when one was young enough to look past that viel of right from wrong, or closure over bleeding out, did eyes remain enlightened to the truth. The truth that life was not controlled by you. A single person does not control their fate or destiny. Humans made up that part to cover up all the supernatural occurrences in their world.

 

Simply life was….optimistically in simple, ‘human’ speak, ‘ _Only the best of what you make it_ ’ but in reality speaking, ‘ _Life sucked_ ’ point blank and period.

 

Walking through a busy market place was a young woman and a small boy. There were all kinds of people on the street selling crap. Most of them selling cheap knock offs of name brands, others selling fresh fruit, but the most eye catching stuff was the light up superhero toys.

 

The boy’s brown eyes widened at all the flashy lights, “Aunty!” He chirped, pointing at the little push stand.

 

Hastily a woman’s hand swatted his hand away. “Not now, Gon.” She informed him, eyes still wandering over the many different kinds of fruit. She held tighter to the bag full of food in her hand as more people past, walking down the crowded street.

 

“Aunty! Aunty!” Gon whined, feverishly. Small fingers pointed at the stand moving further and further away from them. He squirmed in place, trying to break away. “It’s gonna leave!”

 

A stern voice hammered in his ear drums, “GON!” The child looked up to see a face painted with anger and annoyance. A frown tugged on her lips, “We don’t have money to buy you a toy right now, okay? Can’t you wait till your birthday or Christmas?”

 

Brown eyes threatened to let tears loose, “Y-yes, Aunt Mito.” Gon bit his bottom lip, knowing that if he had a melt down it would make things even worse.

 

“Good. Besides, I’m making pasta when we get home.”

 

Gon wiped his face with his worn out jacket sleeve. “Why can’t we get eat out?” The sounds of honking horns around him getting irritable.

 

“We have food at home.”

 

“No, we don’t. You’re picking up food right now.”

 

Accusingly, Mito narrowed her eyes: ‘ _If you keep this up, guess who won’t get to play superheroes vs villains with Ging?’_

 

The 8 year old silently pouted to himself. “One day, I’m gonna run away from here. I’m gonna run away and do whatever I want. Get what I want.” Despite him saying it, he knew it wasn’t that easy. Things costed money and stealing was wrong, but he wanted _stuff._

 

All humans were allured by consumerism. It sucked because, stuff costed money and money was hard to get.

 

“When you get a job, and get paid. You can choose how to spend your money, Gon. Until then..” The woman gave this light smile. Gon hated that smile. It was too smug, too endearing, for her to be saying such madness to him. “My roof, my rules.”

 

Gon didn’t have a response to that. He could have said, “ _I don’t care.”_ but deep down he did care. Damn, he hated the fact he cared. He wasn’t even sure why he cared.

 

He scooted a bit away from his aunt until, through the slits of his eyelids he caught sight of a something blue and green all squashed up in a bottle. The glass jar knocked against his ankles, almost shyly pleading for help.

 

Mito’s eyes caught sight of a glimpse of sunshine bouncing off the jar. It almost gave the illusion of lost pirate treasure, the way it glimmered. Curiosity got the best of her as she asked, “Gon, what’s that?”

 

“Umm… I don’t know.” The 8 year old reached for it, carefully bringing the jar to his face to observe what was inside. His chubby fingers could barely wrap around the whole thing, as he stared at it wide eyed. “It looks like…” Cheerfulness came in his tone, “A bunch of light up superhero bouncy balls!”

 

“What?” Mito demanded almost in disbelief.

 

“HEY!” Came a booming voice, “Those are mine!” It got a bit whiny at the end.

 

Gon tuckered down the jar in his coat. Shifty hazel eyes glanced around only to land on a mountain of fluffy white hair, hiding dazzling sky blue orbs. The boy was hunched over in front of him, appearing almost as if by magic.

 

“I saw that.” The boy said sassily, “I saw what you did.”

 

Gon gave an innocent look, “Eh?”

 

Pale hands reached out, tugging at Gon’s jacket. “You ain’t slick! I’m a master finesser. I recognize game.”

 

His hands were a bit bigger than Gon’s own, making it easy to catch and hold hostage. “How do I know these are yours?” A mischievous glint flickered as Gon struggled to see eye to eye with the mysterious white haired boy.

 

A smile crawled on the mystery boy's face, his cheeks reddened slightly. “You should know who I am. Everyone who is someone, knows who I am.”

 

There was something strange about that smile. Something _dangerous_ ….it was cunning. A cunning look that didn’t fit the boy’s age.

 

Gon leaned inwards, smelling the scent of blood from him. It peaked his interest even further. He taunted, “Well I don’t.” He shrugged carelessly, “So you better show some identificati-”

 

“Master Kil! The limo is pulled up on the other side!” A girl not much older than the white haired boy, squeezed her way through the crowd. She had lovely caramel toned skin and pretty eyes. She bowed, “Your parents sent me after you! Please don’t run off like that again.”

 

The almost charming smile on the boy’s face grew into a devious smirk, “Now do you know who I am?” His body rocked back and forth, as he flipped his white locks up allowing them to blow in the wind. “I’m a...” His tongue rolled as he bragged, “Zoldyck.”

 

“Huh? I’ve never heard that last name before in my life.” Gon fired off. The 8 year old not buying a single word out of the mysterious boy’s mouth. He spat, “You poser. I s-”

 

“That’s e-e-eenough!” His aunt cut him off shakily. She seemed nervous all of a sudden, as if fear had possessed her body. Weakly, she coaxed him, “Just, g-give the jar back, Gon.”

 

“But Aunty Mito!”

 

The worried completely panicked expression that Mito flashed him, sent chills up Gon’s spine. The child shuttered, as he gazed between her and the Zoldyck kid. After a few moments of silence, he swallowed down his pride bitterlyx “Fine.” He removed the jar from his jacket, handing the glass full of amazing light up toys over to their rightful owner. “You should be more careful next time. Some people won’t be nice enough to give toys back.”

 

“Pff,” The white haired boy blew a raspberry, “I don’t have to worry about these. My parents can buy me all the toys in the world. Besides, it’s the principal of getting what you lost back.”

 

Those words verbally slapped Gon, he’d never heard anyone say, ‘ _The principal’_ of something. _What did that even mean?_ It was insane. Almost as insane as the claim his parents would buy him all the light up toys in the world. There was no way...was it? Was he rich? And if so, why was this kid rich enough to buy that many light up toys and Gon couldn’t even get one? Why did this kid dress like royalty and Gon was wearing Walmart clothes?

 

“Wha-” Before Gon could finish, the mysterious boy turned his back on him. His pale fingers threw up a peace sign as he walked away. The girl bowed then scurried behind him.

 

Suddenly, Gon felt himself pulled closer to his Aunt. The woman didn’t say anything, she just held him there. Gon pressed his head against her stomach, his spiky black locks curling as he hugged her back.

 

Mito pushed Gon’s sweaty bangs from his face, and planted a kiss on his forehead, “Oh gosh...Gon. Don’t do that… Don’t talk to strangers. I love you too much to lose you!” There was a feverish panic in her voice, her eyes shifted around aimlessly.

 

There was something wrong with her all of a sudden. Gon wasn’t sure what it was. The woman shook her head sourly as if a bad taste had gotten in her mouth. To comfort her, the little boy murmured, “It’s okay, Aunty Mito. I’m here with you.” He flashed her a smile.

 

She didn’t smile back, as she returned to shopping. There was alarm and disparity written on her face, her eyes seemed to fade away like the life was draining out of them.

 

* * *

 

Gon busted through the front door of their little house. He blurted, “Ging! Get up! Come out here to the car!” He pounced on the sofa, waking up his father from his slumber. “Ging! Get up!” He repeated.

 

“Eh?” The man snorted. Not bothering to move, he stared at his offspring. “Tell Mito to bring it in.”

 

Gon confessed, “Can’t. Something is wrong with her.” He could tell because the whole way back from the store she didn’t say a word, no matter how much he nagged her. All she could do was operate like a lifeless robot with no feelings. “It’s scary.” The black haired boy whimpered, biting his lip. “I think she’s been possessed.”

 

Ging blinked at his son. “How many comic books have you been reading?” Cracking his neck, he turned his head to see through the window: calmly the woman walked towards the house carrying a few bags. “Just look at her. She’s fine.”

 

Gon frowned slightly, as the woman opened the door. He called out to her, “Aunty Mito are you fine? Blink twice if you need a hero.”

 

The woman didn’t respond or seem to even notice anyone was addressing her. She headed to the kitchen placing the bags on the ground.

 

Ging scratched at his scraggly stubble, carefully observing her. “What the fuck?”

 

“I told you!”

 

“Sshh!” He silenced the small boy. “I gotta see this.” Nudging him off of his lap, Ging rose to his feet curiously. Hunched over, he walked towards his sister. “Hey! Mito! I was thinking about going on another supernatural hunting adventure.” He raised a sly eyebrow as a challenge. He knew the woman hated when he talked about chasing myths.

 

Much to his already perked suspicion, Mito gazed at him thoughtfully. Her eyes glazed over as if looking right past Ging and into an abyss.

 

Ging dipped his head, as he put his rough hands on her jaw to open her mouth. He looked around inside, then sighed in relief. “Okay...Quite possibly a novice finesser did this.”

 

Gon squeaked, “What?” He hid in the couch pillows almost fearfully.

 

“I’m joking!” Ging sighed, there was uneasiness in his voice that made it seem like he wasn’t joking at all. He grabbed his sister by the hand, “I’m gonna take her to the hospital. Don’t leave the house.”

 

“But you said we’d play superheroes vs villains!” Gon complained. He peeked out from the fluffy pillows, eyes narrowing accusingly.

 

“We have a situation here.” Ging re-enforced. The man had always been flimsy on promise keeping so it wasn’t like his son was shocked.

 

Frustration flooded through Gon as his eyes watered. He stomped all the way to his room. Slamming his bedroom door, he screamed, “I hate this fucking family!”

 

“Gon do not be disrespectful and use the F word just because Mito is knocked out!” Ging hollered after him.

 

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!” Gon screamed loudly, as he bounced on his bed. He knew Ging would never punish him for it. His old man used more colorful language than that on a daily bases. For that reason he kept on screaming at the top of his lungs until he heard Ging leave with Mito in the car.

 

Soon as the sound of the front door closed, Gon exploded into tears. He’d managed to ruin everything. He wanted to run away, so everyone would jump off his back about everything.

 

Shakily, he pushed off the cover, kicking his feet a bit. He paused, automatically regretting the decision, as his abdomen sent a warning pulse through him. Letting out a little gasp, he wrapped his arms around his midsection tightly. Toes fumbling around to meet the floor, as he elevated his body to stand.

 

He walked towards the window, pushing it open he slipped outside. It was a chilly night, making his flesh feel relief at the soothing breeze. His bare feet welcomed the feel of the cool earth, and the dew drops forming on the grass.

 

In his head there was no clear direction on where he was heading, all the 8 year old knew was that it had to be away from here.

 

He took off—running as fast as his legs would take him in such a terrible pain-riddled state. Teardrops flew off his face like shooting stars dancing across the sky, as his puffy white tank top blew behind him as the wind attempted to guide him back home.

 

He leaped across branches, moved to the tune of hooting owls and cried to the sound of crickets chirping. Everything hurt— his brain numbing, heart clenching, feet aching.

 

His spiky black hair twisted with his body jerking to a stop, as it collided with another. The both of them smacking into each other, like a destiny intertwined them to create another big bang. And it did....because the taller body stumbled to knock into Gon once more.

 

The mystery voice let out a fearful trill, “GAAAAAhhh!” A pale hand reached out, to hold onto something.

 

The _something_ that it grabbed happened to be Gon’s hand. The human screamed at the hard touch yanking him downwards.

 

They both fell victim to gravity. Their skulls smacked together, then repelled knocking on the hill of green hard. Gon didn’t even have time to catch his breath before a mouthful of dirt hit his tongue. Then something hits.... No _shocks_ his arm making him yell in agony.  

 

The mystery person is sending voltage through _his flesh_.

 

Rocks dug into Gon’s back, as twigs stabbed his sides, drowned out screams hit his ears. A blissful haze takes him and lifts him up, only to crash back down again.

 

The body above him is skinny, feels more frail. Gon feels the person squeeze their hands together tighter, ensuring they don’t lose each other as they crash. It draws their bodies to rub together. Strong hands move to Gon’s sides, skillfully fingers slipping into the pockets of his booty shorts. Through his blurry vision, all Gon can see are streaks of white, and terrified blue eyes.

 

“Yooo!!” Gon coughed up some dirt. His chin jabbed into his arm as his body crunched up, folding and unfolding like a piece of origami. Trying to be bold, he fought the urge to whimper as an elbow jabs his stomach.

 

Gon didn’t know whose elbow it is… and he  also didn’t know where they were falling to.

 

The body holding him, seems to know. There a desperate jerk to his movements, trying to avoid being gravity’s victim any longer. He foreced his face upwards to stop nuzzling Gon’s belly, “You baka, get yourself together!” He croaked.

 

More roaring wind and screaming raced past his ears, “I’m trying!” The response was dumb. _But who knows how to actually respond to being called an idiot?_ Gon couldn’t think of a good clap back right now.

 

When they finally hit solid ground a few seconds passed of nothing but the sound of their combined breaths.

 

“Jesus _fuck_ that hurt.” The mysterious boy growled, his voice muffled by pain.

 

Gon blinked his tearful eyes, trying to collect himself. Black painted his vision, dirt and blood prominent on his tongue. A wave of heat washed over him, sending a sticky feeling down his thighs. Hot, messy and completely bothered, he let out a sob. “Gross! D-did you shock me?!”

 

The boy resting on top of him looked down at him. “Don’t cry like a baby! You should watch where you’re run-” His jaw went slack as words flew from his mouth. A look of disarray came over his face.

 

“You should watch where you’re running!” Gon sobbed out bitterly. “Dang it! Everything was going good until you showed up! Who the heck are-?”

 

Blood covered pale thumbs gently wiped the tears away from Gon’s face, their owner marveling down at him as if he was some sorta angelic creature. He whispered almost embarrassed, “My...my name is K-Killua, Z-z..zzzz…” A few droplets of spit came out his mouth as he stumbled over pronucating his last name, “Zoldyck!”

 

Pursing his lips together, Gon repeated the word carefully, “Zoldyck?” The last name rang a bell. “You’re the rich boy!”

 

“I guess? Do I know you?”

 

“You! The...light up toys? Earlier!”

 

Killua narrowed his eyes, he opened his mouth then closed it. He raised his nose in the air, “Those are for my 16th birthday party. They don’t light up, it’s filled with power. The power to make wishes come true!”

 

“What?” The excitement fell from Gon’s face, a bit confused.

 

“Crybabies don’t get wishes so you wouldn’t know!”

 

“I’m not a crybaby! I’m a strong minded boy who ca-“

 

“Baby boy!”

 

“This isn't the time for nicknames!”

 

“It….isn't a nickname. I'm calling you a baby. I'm _insulting_ you.”

 

“Hush up!” Gon turned his head to the side, embarrassed he’d taken it the wrong way. He kicked his legs, “GET OFF ME!”

 

Killua rolled over to his own plot of dirt. While he moved, Gon noticed the scars and various marks that littered his pale skinny body. A bit of concern washed over him. “Are.. you good? Did that all happen during the fall?”

 

“Fine. My parents beat me all the time.” The boy brushed it off. He shrugged his shoulders, “But you didn’t tell me your name.”

 

“Gon Freecss. And I don’t like your parents for hurting you, Killua.”

 

“Baka! If I liked it would I be running away?”

 

“No...” Gon murmured. He said it mostly to himself, since he knew trying to ignite the topic again was pointless. He poked Killua’s cut cheek, “But I’m not baka. You’re baka, you’re the principal of baka.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“If your parents hurt you like that, shouldn’t you go to the police instead of running away?”

 

"Baka! You say that, but do you even hear the words that come out of your mouth?! You know nothing about me!" Killua growled, his white bangs covering his monstrous blue eyes. A strong current of electricity gushed through him. "You’re caring about other people and not yourself, it makes you weak!" He clenched his fist, ready to slug the smaller boy. Weakness _had_ to be destroyed.

  
  
"No, I'm strong!" Gon declared, his forehead pressed up against Killua's, their skin melting together like atoms in an atomic bomb ready to explode. "Caring about others is not a sign of weakness. It's something you're supposed to do for people."

  
  
This was a new methodology that Killua had never figured out, it was nothing like what his parents had said. Their commands sizzled in his brain: _Never fight a battle you can't win_. Yet here Gon was offering aid, when Killua wasn't exactly sure what he did to earn all this trust and acceptance..... but he welcomed it with his full heart.

 

It was almost alarming how bright the moon shined when Gon let a sincere smile cover his face. "So Killua, don't fret okay? I'll be here for you!" His smile had gaps of missing teeth, as his rosy cheeks matched with his newly perked up attitude.

 

“Heh?” Killua raised an eyebrow slightly, “How are you gonna be there for me? You’re the one running around like a chicken with their head cut off in darkness!” He felt a warm fuzzy smile crawl on his lips. It had been a while since he'd ever felt as appreciated as he did now or even gotten this much attention. He almost craved more of it. Gon was addictive like a drug.

 

“I was running away from home, too! I was running with a purpose.”

 

“A weakling like you running away from home...You know creatures of the night are out now, right?”

 

The other boy had said it so grimly, a rotten feeling formed in Gon’s gut. He pictured all the terrible things that could go wrong with him running away. Sucking on the inside of his mouth, he took a deep breath, more heat pooled in his belly. His tearful brown eyes stole a glance at Killua, “I’m a strong boy. I can handle myself.”

 

“Really?” Killua observed Gon, “You don’t seem like you can run fast.” He squeezed their still locked together hands, making energy jump around in a mad buzz.

 

“Protect me then.” Gon teased, sticking his tongue out. “Be my superhero if, you’re so strong!” He inspected the boy carefully, “You can be Z-lit!”

 

“Z-lit?” Killua repeated, pondering over the title. A few sparks flew from his fingertips. “Sorta like a name...I’m lit?” He questioned.

 

Gon clicked his tongue, “Most superhero names are based on their power.”

 

There was a childish innocents among both of them. They just wanted to lay here gazing up at all the stars, smiling at each other, chatting with each other. It was strange, like they were drawn to each other and now there was no shyness about them.

 

“A superhero?” Killua scrunched his face up, perplexed at the thought. “Why be a hero when you can be a villain?” He inched closer only to take notice of the little sparks coming from their interlocked hands. His blue eyes flickered, then looked him carefully up and down.

 

The 8 year old stared at the other kid like he was crazy. “Because good always wins in the end when justice is served!”

 

A delirious gleam sparked in Killua’s blue orbs, he reached up to tuck his white locks behind his pointy ears. “Oh.” He said softly, “That’s giving them too much credit.” He swallowed nervously, a bit of uncertainty tugging on his heart strings. He shot a look at Gon, “What if..the villain comes out victorious?”

 

“That will never happen!” Gon raised his fist in the air, “Evil never prevails!”

 

A few unnamed emotions past Killua’s face. “Do you think all villains are evil then? I mean if a strange occurrence happens because of them but they didn’t mean harm, then...” He seemed like he was going to explain more, but something stopped him. Apologetically, his eyebrows knitted together, as he looked at how the sparks had suddenly broke out into a little crackle of lightning.

 

“That’s pretty cool! It’s a really neat light show!”

 

“EH?! You think?!”

 

“Yeah!” Gon chirped. “How are you doing it?”

 

“I..I don’t know.”  Killua shook his head. “It’s just happening and it feel...” A twisted expression came on his face, eyebrows slightly raised, a broken grin. He pulled the small boy close to him. “Exhilarating.”

 

Gon almost had a heart attack at the sight. Yet when he tried to scream, no words flew past his wet throat. He trembled like a helpless bunny to the touch of cold graceful fingers holding his arm steady. A blissful high slowly clouded up his mind. “Killua...You’re scaring me.” The feel of powerful blue sparks dancing on his flesh was getting a little too electrifying. “Friends don’t scare other friends.”

 

“Friends?” Killua repeated the word as if it was foreign. His blue eyes went wide, abruptly understanding his chance to hang out with Gon might slip him by. He rubbed his thumb over caramel skin. “We’re friends, Gon?” There was warm sincerity in his question, as his tender eyes gazed at him.

 

Nodding vigorously, Gon’s black hair bounced.“Y-Yes!” He blushed surprised at his own statement. Then gave a smile, “Are you a real superhero?”

 

The smile was almost brighter than all the stars in the sky. Killua gazed at Gon, a fuzzy possessive feeling engulfed him. There was something in the way Gon’s hand fit so nicely in his own, the way the moonlight rested on his shoulders, the wind in his spiky black hair, the smell of the him, and the sweetness in his words.

 

The 8 year old wanted him. _Needed_ him; he’d be fun to play with. Gon was Killua’s friend now.....and Killua did not like sharing what was his.

 

Killua let go of Gon’s hand. “I’m not.” He titled his head, sympathetically giving a small smile. “But you’re my new obsession.”

 

At that moment something strange happened. It was almost indescribable, because all the air left Gon’s lungs, replaced with a strong essence. A feeling that was overbearing and made his heart pound faster, pumping blood through his veins at an insane speed. His hand throbbed as his world began fading to black.

 

Killua’s voice became nothing more than a whisper. “I don’t know if it’s ever gonna be okay, Gon. It might hurt the both of us. And I don’t know much, but long as we have each other, I think we’ll be fine.” It was a half-promise.


	2. Prologue PART 2 (Of comic books and supervillains)

The sands that fell every passing second was how people judged time. Time was one of the most realistic concepts in the world. It was undeniably ticking and something that every living thing could see the results of: age. Aging was the results of time. With age came knowledge and that gave birth to new ideas.

 

Killua had new ideas, instead of running away from home.

 

He’d simply: _Destroy_ his home.

 

Home was where the heart is, where the deepest scars are.

 

Sure it was crazy and insane to plot against your family, but Killua was convinced it was in his blood to have such a motive. Crazy only creates more crazy; there was no escape to it all, madness was a steady perfect never ending circle with no cut off point.

 

Staring out the window, dimly lit blue orbs watched the rain drops fall. Outloud he counted, “14,902, 14,903, 14,904.” He tapped his pencil against his chin, gnawing on his eraser a bit. “14, 905.”

 

“Kil.” A much older voice tried to pull him from his mourning. “Do you have a good reason to be up here ignoring your studies?”

 

Calmly, Killua kept on, “14,916, 14,917, 14,918.” His pupils moved side to side, to ensure he noted each drop splashing on his window seal. He got caught up on a number, “8...8..8...8..8..” He repeated like a broken record. “8..my first friend...I made at 8 years old.”

 

“Get yourself, together!” A harsh whip hit the pre-teen’s back. He didn’t even flinch in pain. His whole entire body had grown numb and hallow, to any kind of belittling. “You’re Killua Zolydck!” The woman snapped. “You don’t need friends!” His mother had grown more aggressive in her fits with him.

 

Her madness feeding his madness, as he hung up on his singular hope.

 

Jerking his head up, white hair covered up his gloomy eyes. “Gon Freecss…” He hummed adoringly, “It’s the most beautiful name, I know. You should call me that.” His voice cracked slightly as his lips curved up in a grin.

 

There was no option to escape it, back when Killua was 8 he thought he could run away from his problems. Yet now at age 12, he figured the only way to do things right was to only embrace the gift of madness implanted in his veins.

 

“Why are you..so obsessed with that human!” There was bitter hatred in her words. Killua couldn’t blame her, for being so mad. He could never blame her. Not even now, when her hands clamped around his neck and she was choking him.

 

The tightness made his blood boil and heart race with excitement at the thought of death. Each breath became more and more distant, as his windpipe closed up, his jaw went agape.

 

“Honey!” His dad busted in the room, attracted by all his wife’s shouting.

 

Killua watched on through blurry vision, how he put his hand on her shoulder. His father tearing his mother’s hands off him.

 

His mother pointed at him, “LOOK AT HIM! LOOK! HE STILL HAS THAT STUPID SMIRK ON HIS FACE! HE’S THINKING OF HIM! HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIS RESPONSIBILITIES OR H-” Hysterically, she pushed against the man holding her.

 

The man attempted to calm her, “It’s just a phase. He’s going through a point in his life, where he wants attention and this is how he chooses to get it.”

 

Killua let out a burst of laughter, “Haha! Ha! Ha! I could care less about getting attention from you. I want attention from, Gon! That’s it!” He pointed at them like the scum of the earth they were. “Gon, understands me better than anyone else.”

 

It was true. Killua was going to repay Gon by loving him for all the good things he’s done. So he guess he had to live.....He had to live just until he was 16. Once he turned 16, he could put his plan in action.

 

A look of complete disappointment came in his father’s eyes. “Don’t say that.” He shook his head, dragging his wife out the room.

 

They both left without a word, slamming the double locked door behind them.

 

"I'll obliterate you, fools!" Killua yelled after them, amused at the voltage jumping from his fingertips.

 

He was almost marvelled by it, since for so long he had hoped and prayed his powers would be something awesome. Now that he discovered them, he realize that they smashed every expectation he imagined. Even all his parent’s expectations…

 

Laughing maniacally, he ran to the door pounding on it. “You’re all just scared of my power! YOU’RE ALL JUST COWARDS!” Each slamming fist dispersed various blue sparks around the secured room. “Gon was scared but he didn’t run away! He said he wanted to be my friend! That’s what real love is you cowards!”

 

“Shut up, Kil!” There came a warning from the speakers above, “You _chose_ to be with Alluka. Don’t complain now.”

 

“Tch…” The 12 year old clicked his tongue, “Shut up, Illumi. You’re just as bad as them.” He crossed his arms, eyes dropping to see his pencil rolling around on the floor.

 

The sad pencil aimlessly drifting around through life, with a singular purpose being to write. Only to be disposed of later.

 

“We’re all pencils to them, ya know? Mommy and Daddy don’t really care about us. They care about money!”

 

“Silence, Kil.”

 

“Don’t call me that! If you won’t call me Gon, call me Z-lit.”

 

“Your name is Killua Zoldyck. Your family loves and cares about your success. That is why we push you so hard. ”

 

“Gon said no. Z-lit says NO! If our parents cared, why would they abuse us like this? When our purpose is served….they’ll ki-”

 

“NO! _We’ll_ be killed.” Illumi retorted sourly, “They _love_ you, Kil. They love _your_ power.” There was a sharp ringing coming through the speaker for a few seconds. It was almost representative of the agony coursing through the boy’s heart. A brief second of silence followed after the statement, “You’ll live, Killua.”

 

Killua wished that he could still cry. He wish he could pour out his grief and sadness into an action everyone universally understood. But no matter how much he visualized the action, how badly he wanted teardrops to fall….they didn’t.

 

He slowly curled up on the cold floor. His mind was filled with mindfields ready to go off in another fit of insanity. At times he was too scared to think because, ‘ _tomorrow was never promised today_ ’ in this hell hole.

 

A sweet voice called out to him, “Big brother, are you okay?” A dirty dress appeared before his face, as the girl kneeled down. “You told me to hide, when mom came in but you usually tell me when to come out.”

 

Killua flinched, recalling his mistake. “How could I forget?” He reached up to kindle his sister with affection. “I probably zoned out...because...”

 

Alluka hugged him endearingly, “Do you wanna see him?”

 

Killua looked at his sister lovingly, unable to decide on an answer right away. His pale fingers messed with her necklaces and pretty slash. “What if…?” He paused, “Gon...it’s gonna happen soon, ya think?”

 

“No.” Alluka said simply, “Not as long as the sun stays set and can he remembers you.”

 

“He’s older now.”

 

“You’re the same age.”

 

“He’s....are we not human, Alluka? If we’re not human then what are we?”

 

“You said we were supervillains…”

 

“Yeah, but… Dad and mom always belittle humans like they’re lesser creatures. Then what are we? What is Gon? Does my obsession lead to a deadline?”

 

“Has that stopped you from obsessing over him before?”

 

“I dreamed about kissing him last night.” Killua confessed, “I kissed him, over and over again.” There was sadness in his voice, “He never kissed back.”

 

“Big brother, if you don’t ever try in reality, how will you know he won’t?”

 

Killua gave a little nod. “You’re right, take me to him.”

 

“Okay.” Alluka’s body glowed, and Killua felt himself fading away. She didn’t have to warn, ‘ _See but not touch._ ’

 

The number one family rule was: ' _Don't let people know, we're super villains. Don't let your powers be discovered. Don't do something that gets you killed._ ' It had practically been brainwashed into Killua's skull.

 

But Killua always figured rules were made to be broken.

 

* * *

 

The lack of seeing each other, made turmoil in their belief in one another. Killua was in another world, far far far away from Gon. The only time they were ever on equal ground was when they were both in pain. Which was kinda messed up....Why should it take one of them getting beat down, in order for them to properly acknowledge one another? But Gon guessed it made sense, that Killua only came in his time of need. Anyone would have to be desperate to talk to themselves.

 

The pre-teen busted into his room crying. He threw his backpack to the floor and screamed. Screamed so loudly he was sure the neighbors could hear him, but he didn’t care. No one else was in the house, so he might as well act a fool.

 

He could still hear their nagging taunts, “ _I can’t believe he’s Ging’s son. He looks just like, him. I bet he’s a crazy conspiracy theorist too! Bet he believes in monsters, ghost and shit!”_ He ran his fingers over the scars left from them shoving him to the floor. “ _Gon so ugly so ugly his name should be Medusa! Name should be Medusa!_ ” Their stupid voices seemed to echo in his eardrums. Mind playing flashbacks of the event that took place in the lunchroom earlier.

 

Hot tears rolled down his cheeks as he zombie walked to the bathroom. Agitated, he groaned at the reflection in the mirror. “Am I really ugly?”

 

From his spiky black hair, tearful brown eyes, and caramel skin...every part of him seemed fine. But what really did dictate beauty? Why was there so many personal definitions?

 

He tugged at his cheeks, looking at the pimples that littered his face. “This is....those stupid bumps!” Enraged, he poked them. “People hate my look because of-“

 

“According to Roman poet Ovid, Medusa was originally a ravishingly beautiful maiden, before her hair got cursed.” A voice whispered softly.

 

It was so delicate that Gon shivered. His eyes flickering around to observe anything in the mirror as he cringed up. Reaching in the cabinet, he pulled out a pair of scissors. “Hey! Come out now or forever hold your peace!”

 

“Eh?” Calmly the same tone rumbled, “Just turn around.”

 

A familiar touch, made Gon’s heart skip a few beats. He spun around bumping heads with his usual on looking trouble maker. “Ouch! Killua!”

 

“You’re the one who hit me!” Killua fired off. He shook his head, white locks bouncing as he took a few steps back. “You were gonna stab me!”

 

“You’re usually never around! How’d you get here?”

 

“Maybe I came to check up on you! Gosh! Can’t be nice because when I do, I almost get stabbed!”

 

Gon sniffled as he brought the scissors to his black hair. “Not really, I was just gonna cut it.” The action was done pathetically, but it was the truth of what he planned. For so long his spiky black hair was pointed out and mocked for being, “ _dumb_ ” it wasn’t worth the harassment anymore.

 

Killua sucked his tongue, observing the smaller boy. “I can’t believe they said that to you, Gon.” His pissed off voice raged, as he tightened his hold on Gon’s hand. He’d never been bullied before; he wasn’t sure what to say to someone that had been, but he’d give it his best shot. “They don’t even know you well enough to say that! So you shouldn’t take what they say to heart.” He brought their hands near Gon’s heart, ensuring he felt the jolt of their happiness together.

 

“I try really hard to ignore them.” Gon uttered, sadly. Tears fell as he babbled, “Aunt Mito said people are mean for no good reason when they see someone different. So I’m gonna try to not be so different.” He titled his head down almost ashamed of his confession. “I..I just can’t take it anymore. All the assholes.”

 

“I can take em out. I’ll finesse the system make it look less suspect. No one will ever suspect us.” Killua offered. He sounded way too serious about it.

 

Gon could almost vividly see the firing the squad pulling out the glocks and busting a cap in all their smart asses. But he was too kind to ever wish such a fate upon anyone, he’d pray for it. Pray for death of them, but luckily not all prays got answered. Killua was a one request bus to murder town, and that was not what Gon needed right now.

 

“Don’t bother. Karma's a bitch.”

 

“They’re a bunch of bitches.”

 

“Hehe…” There was a cuteness in the way Gon giggled: how his shoulders bounced when his lips curved up into a smile. His face seemed to radiate joy for a brief second, carefree as if the bullying earlier didn’t happen. But the happiness came as easily as it disappeared—more crybaby tears fell from Gon’s face. The 12 year old was laughing and crying at the same time.

 

Killua inched closer to him, like he wanted to touch Gon’s adorable face. His hand raised gracefully, only to fall abruptly. He couldn’t help but obeserve.

  

Gon looked so beautiful when he cried. The way his eyebrows would knot up, his brown eyes would break its cheerful barrier, and swollen lips would part as he licked the snot from his upper lip.

 

“This is so stupid isn’t it? I..I don’t want to cry.” Gon hiccuped. “I probably look so damn ug-“

 

“No. I think, you’re really pretty no matter what emotional state.” Killua confessed, blush appearing on his cheeks. “I mean it...like.. Other people care about blending in, but I don’t. I think being who you are makes you unique. I don’t just like looks but also your personality.”

 

”Even if I had snakes in my hair?”

 

”YES!”

 

”Even if I lost my goddamn mind?”

 

”Long as you stand by me, I’ll stand by you. Even if you forget about me someday.... I’ll still...”

 

Gon puckered his lips. “Thanks, Killua. You’re really sweet on me. Even though friends are supposed to have each other’s backs...”

 

Killua’s shoulder drooped, as his eyebrows merged in compassion. Delicately, his lips parted as he drew closer to Gon. “I know. I should have been there to help.”

 

“You’re helping fine right now.” Gon took a deep breath, “When I’m drowning away in sadness, I just think of you and everything is alright.”

 

“Me too!” Killua announced. He hoped he didn’t say it too fast to where it was disturbing, but he needed Gon to know he felt the same way. “In fact, you help me so much! I’m.... lf...we…”

 

Gon raised his free hand up to press gently against Killua's forehead. "You're really sweaty." He asked, "You okay?"

 

Killua whimpered at Gon's lovely hand brushed against his pale skin and white bangs. His heart pounded as he blurted, “Yes!" He probably snapped a little too forcefully, because Gon shyly flinched away.

 

The short boy somberly lowered his head. "I'm sorry…"

 

"Don’t apologize! God fuck! You didn't do anything!" Killua stressed.

 

Gon sighed, "What should I do then?" There was a nervous vibe around him, as if he was scared to mess up.

 

"Just… all you have to do is what I tell you." Killua decided, "You just have to listen to me, alright? Trust me, depend on me."

 

"I already do." Gon mumbled lowly.

 

A slick smile found its way on the boy’s face. "Gon, kiss me here..." Killua instructed tapping on the side of his cheek.

 

Gon meekly pressed a kiss on Killua's rough skin. It made a warm sensation flow through Killua's body. Electricity juicing up his bones and movements with new strength and power.

 

"Now, kiss me here." Killua tapped on his chin with his finger. This wasn't really a test of obedience, he was just enjoying the feeling of Gon's lips on his body. He loved the _power_ Gon gave to his body.

 

Gon quickly obliged, pressing one good smack on him. It was a brief kiss, yet enchanting for it gave a strong sense of dedication.

 

Each kiss delivered a shock wave to Killua’s senses, recharging his energy. "On my nose."

 

Pleasurably, pink pretty lips found themselves pecking a kiss over Killua's nose. A meek friendly smile resting on them as Gon pulled away. "Where else?"

 

"Anywhere, you want baby boy…." Killua whistled out. Then he tuckered down and thought about it, “Actually… Can..can I show you?” A satisfied grin started to embed itself on his face. It served as a warning: Gon's body belonged to him and ONLY HIM. Anyone who dared lay a finger on his personal human charger would pay, big time.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Can I show you how much I like you, Gon?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Quickly, at lightning speed a quick burst of kisses was peppered all over Gon’s face. The actions made the pre-teen squirm at the sudden contact of plush lips on his bumpy face.

 

Gon squeezed his eyes shut to the sound of lightning popping around him. Too scared to open them, until the command came, “Open your eyes, sweetheart. I want you to see this.” Killua whispered against his acne prone skin.

 

The black haired boy did, fluttering his brown orbs to see the villain standing there beside him. There was lightning dancing around his body.

 

“You’re almost like static shock.”

 

“But you can see it, right?”

 

Gon’s eyes grew wide in absolute admiration of the monster he had unleashed upon the world. “Yeah. You...you’re doing the cool light show!” There was a childish ring to his voice. One that the 12 year old would probably lose when puberty finally stopped making his voice crack.

 

“’I’ll be by your side from here on out.” Killua swore, “And I’ll make them pay!” It was the other half of his first promise made years ago.

 

Gon smiled warmly. “Thanks but, Killua...I don’t need your help to do this.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I’ve decided, I’m gonna cut then flatten my hair and grow it out. I mean,” He pecked a sweet kiss on the side of Killua’s face. “You’ll still like me, right?”

 

“O-of course!” Killua said without hesitation. He turned his head bashfully, “I just know it will look good, Gon.”

 

A thankful look came on Gon’s face, even as Killua’s physical body started to flicker away slightly.

 

The closer people grow to pleasing others, the harder they strive to comply to society….the less of the supernatural their mind believes in. Easily, Gon figured he would simply imagine Killua as a way to comfort himself.

 

An imaginary friend…

 

Killua was such a good imaginary friend.

 

A friend he could practice kissing with, a friend he could talk to about his problems. A friend who Gon used his own mind to grant power to: a lightning super powered O.C. Yep, he was really good at this imaginary friend thing.

 

Besides no one in real life could ever love him like this, it was all a figment of his imagination.

 

Gon blinked up at Killua, dreamy hazel eyes caught sight of his lips. "If we kiss... May you kiss me? I've always wondered...what it was like to lose my lip virginity." He requested, titling his head to the side cutely.

  
  
The tall boy smirked a bit, tossing some of his white bangs out his eyes. "Why the hell not?" Killua mashed his lips against Gon's smooth baby soft ones.

 

At first the kiss was airy until it unloaded into pure bliss. Sugary sweet like a warm sprinkled sugar cookie fresh out the oven, their mouths clashed sharing that delicate satisfying flavor. Both their lips melted together like a chocolate chip melting to gooey delicious mouth watering riches. Not one second did they wanna break apart or crumble the cookie baking between them.

  
  
Laughter slipped out Gon’s lips, it was such a wonderful pure laughter—Killua swore it could heal all sickness. Especially, when Gon’s face lit up, bright as a single flame in an all dark room.

  
  
"Sweetheart...mmm, stop that," Killua pulled Gon closer to him. Their lips mashed between sloppy breaths. "Someone will hear us..."

  
  
"They won’t, if it’s all in my brain." Gon chuckled. He watched Killua fumble his touch on his body. Hands traced up and down his back trying to find a proper spot to land, until he arched into them.

  
  
Killua almost let a smug look crawl on his face as he rolled his lustful blue eyes. "Sure, this is in your head, Gon." He said sarcastically, “Sure.”

 

“Am I good kisser?" Gon hummed out, halfway panting. He twisted a finger in Killua's hair playfully, "I learned from YouTube."

  
  
"You learned from YouTube?"

  
  
"YouTube has everything. Even how to tie your shoes backwards. Hahaaa!~! You don't know how much time, I spend on there." The bright smile spread on Gon's face melting into the kiss.

 

It felt too good to be true, definitely better than what all the Youtubers had said. Not that it would have mattered if it wasn't that good. They enjoyed just being in each other's company. Kissing each other was a small side dash of bliss. Plus their lips seemed to attract to each other like opposite ends of a magnet that had a pull so strong it was almost impossible to separate.

  
  
"I don't care, it sounds ridiculous." Killua spoke, between their lip mashing. His nimble chilly fingers dashing under Gon's shirt. He enjoyed how the shorter boy trembled to his touch. "I mean you should spend your time with me, not watching YouTube. So we can do things."

  
  
"What type of things?"

  
  
"Playing video games."

 

"Every time I want to you’re never around." Gon mumbled, licking over his teeth.

 

Killua snorted as they exchanged spit, "Shut up, that's not true." He nibbled on Gon's bottom lip in response, prompting a slight mew.

 

The sound was so freaking adorable it almost made Killua's heart stop. He paused for a moment, his eyes dashed upwards to meet Gon's hazy one's. They beamed at him uneasily, almost shy and bashful.

  
  
"Sorry, I….n-never, made t-haaat sound be-be-before." Gon tripped over his words, unable to find a reasonable explanation. He began rubbing up and down his windpipe awkwardly, as if searching for the source of affection. "Must have been from the depths of my mind."

 

"What does your mind think about?!" Killua cried out with embarrassment, as he threatened to pull away.

  
  
"Well, _you_ of course," Gon moaned. He leaned forward, the heat on his lips slowly drifting onto Killua's. “I think about you and I, hanging out. Sometimes doing _more_ than hanging _out._ ”

 

For a few seconds, their hearts seemed to beat in perfect harmony. It wrapped them up into their own candy land. The minty wind stinging the tip of their teeth as they occasionally brushed, resulting in chills down both their backs. Fantasies of a never-ending chocolate volcano exploded in Killua’s mouth as he sucked lightly on Gon's lip, careful not to pull blood by biting down with his sharp teeth.

  
  
It wasn't until they required oxygen that Gon and Killua finally separated. A thin thread of spit still connected them, until Gon gently gave a quick dry kiss to the corner of Killua's mouth.

 

Killua panted, "Holy crap, that was fucking hot."

  
  
Gon nodded in agreement, happy tonshare the moment with him. "I liked it." The shorter boy licked his lips. “Thank you, Killua. Maybe next time, we can try something more.”

 

Killua’s cold blue eyes turned serious, “More making out?”

 

Gon glanced up at him through wet eyelashes, earnest, adoringly. "More doing what people who _love_ each other do. Touch. Kiss. Se-”

 

Killua blinked, at the unexpected swell of affection exploding in his chest. With one simple statement, Gon was making it difficult for Killua to remember they should never be this close.

 

“You love me, Gon!?” Killua sputtered out.

 

Gon was slightly taken back—Killua’s reaction was not how most people react in comic books when their crush unloads their feelings. Also the word ‘ _love’_ was complicated and he wasn’t sure if what he felt for Killua wasn’t friendly love anymore. It was more raw, aggressive...tempting...

 

“I want to know what the different types of love are.” Gon clarified, glancing to the floor shyly. “I saw sex on YouTube. Read wattpad books with kinks n junk.” He waved his hand, “And maybe to show you really like someone you make ‘em feel good. So if they both feel good and like it, maybe they love each other.” There was a clueless lamb like innocence ring to his voice.

 

Killua’s heart fluttered in his chest as lightning danced off his fingertips. He didn’t get Gon sometimes. Gon was happy, sad, crying, crying, crying, happy, happy, sad, then happy. Gon always ended on happy. That was the part that dully pissed him off. He couldn't seek out where all that happiness randomly came from. He couldn't figure out a way to expose it at his own will.

 

"So like this?" Killua hummed, burying his face into Gon's neck affectionately. He pressed kisses against the column of his throat. “Am I doing it right?”

 

Gon busted out in gleeful laughter, “Killua!” He threw his arms around him and mashed their faces together for another sloppy kiss. He rolled his tongue into Killua’s warm cavern, then rolled his hips in time. “You still didn’t answer me!”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you love me?”


	3. Prologue PART 3 (Of comic books and supervillains)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The word is beautiful because you're in it! So have a lovely week! (っ＾▿＾)>♥

How much does a person really remember from when they were 8 years old? Gon figured when he was younger, he was a crazy kid. But those dark days were behind him now, replaced with a little piece of sanity.

 

Sanity that was rewarded from acceptance into society.

 

“Hey!” Meekly a voice hummed, “Gon, I...I have a question for you.”

 

Brown eyes flickered upwards to see a tall girl standing over him. He recognized her immediately, “Hi, Palm.” He lifted a hand off his comic book to comb back his long black hair. It almost matched the upperclassmen’s style but his hair was a little off. He didn’t know why, but everything about him seemed a little bit off. His face was always a bit more bumper with pimples, his height a bit shorter than most boy’s his age, his hobbies too nerdy.

 

The older girl gave him a shaky smile, “I…” She fumbled a small folded up sheet of paper in her hand.

 

“Who the fuck is she?” A snide comment whispered in his ear.

 

Gon ignored it. He’d been hearing a weird voice for a while now and he wasn’t quite sure where it came from.

 

Rising to his feet, he smiled at her endearingly. He held his comic book in the air, “You wanna borrow another one?” He motioned to his locker. “I have a couple more in here.”

 

“Don’t smile at her, Gon! Don’t give her those million dollar grins! THOSE ARE FOR ME!” The voice got louder and more aggressive.

 

“No. I mean, well maybe.... I’d like to borrow another in the future.. But..” Palm bit her lip, “I know you’re a freshman and I’m a junior...but I really sorta wouldn’t mind if.” She paused, too embarrassed to go on and held out the slip of paper. “Just read it.”

 

Strangely before Gon could reach for it, the paper took flight. It appeared to just fly out of Palm’s hand as if carried away by a gust of wind. The paper flipped doing circles in the air, avoiding all the lockers in the hallway it danced around to another part of the school.

 

Gon murmured, “What the fuck?”

 

“Ahh! That! How..w-why?!” Palm babbled. She trembled slightly, “It’s gone.”

 

“That’s fine.” He touched her shoulders, trying  to comfort her. “You can just tell me what it said.”

 

“Yeah..I..well do.. do you want to come to the upcoming football game with me..” Palm ushered, “L..li-like as my boyfri-“

 

Out of nowhere, Gon’s whole entire world distorted. It went haywire, with a loud blood curdling screech. Locks on the lockers clattered, his backpack shook, and his long black hair blew wildly. His eyes were blinded by bright flashing lights almost like flairs going off in different colors. Deliriously, he let go of the girl as she appeared to catch a fire.

 

There was jealousy laced in the mysterious voice’s words, “She likes you, doesn’t she? Well too bad, Gon! You’re mine!”

 

“No!” Gon howled in horror. His eyebrows knotting together, as his pupils shrank in their sockets. “Why the hell would I!?”

 

“Oh!” Suddenly, all the screams and the weird universe dissolved back into reality. Gon was finally able to see the tears rolling down Palm’s face. The older girl cried, “YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT!” She slapped Gon harshly across the face.

 

The boy let out an gasp. His face stinging in pain as he helplessly watched Palm storm away from him. He struggled to reach out a hand, “Wa-“

 

“Shhsshh…” A wave of calmness washed over Gon. A cold touch slipped around his hips; it felt like a body pressed against him. “It’s alright, sweetheart.” The voice whispered in his ear, hot breath tickling the ends. “I’m here.”

 

The 14 year old felt his heart increase in speed, upon realizing he was completely immobile. Whatever pressure holding him by the waist, had melted his body to relax in strong arms.

 

He felt a hand comb through his long black hair hair. “You were right to grow it out... _damn_...it’s like each day you're getting more and more sexy, baby boy.”

 

There was something in the huskiness of the sentence that made a funny feeling in Gon’s stomach. His face heated up as he spoke the creepy boy into existence once more, “K-Killua.”

 

The strong grip around his waist tightened, as brown eyes looked down to see pale arms spooning him. He pressed his head against Killua’s chest, feeling the taller boy take a deep and easy breath.

 

“Gon.” Killua spoke eerily, “Are you trying to run away from me?” Blue lightning stormed up around him, as he feasted on the smaller boy’s body.

 

“N-no. Wha-aahh...what ma-makes you think that?” Gon shuttered as he felt Killua press a kiss on his ear. He quickly corrected his emotions, “You just surprised me before...that’s all.”

 

Killua’s eyes flashed dangerously, “Gon,” He tipped his friend’s head up, forcing coffee brown orbs to meet deadly blue. “I think you have to learn a lesson.”

 

“Huh?” Gon croaked fear, engulfing him. “N-no! I’m fine. Fine…” He didn’t know where this sudden torment was coming from. It bloomed in his soul and spread to every ounce of his being. It warned, ‘ _Be afraid...Be very afraid.._ ’

 

“Yeah, but she’s not gonna be.” Killua pointed a pale finger at Palm menacingly. “No one gets close to my _only_ friend. I’m very selfish.” He launched into action, taking off at lightning speed.

 

“KILLUA!” Gon pleaded. The bell rang loudly and students began flooding in the halls, making it impossible for him to keep up.

 

Killua seemed to be able to move easily through the other kid’s bodies. Gon had to push and try to wiggle around. There were too many students.

 

_Lots of students._

 

“Lots of poor stupid naive students.” Killua corrected as if reading Gon’s mind.

 

The bell rang again, this time shattering the connection between Gon and his childish nature once more. It built up the wall to separate the unknown from reality—Killua faded away but his actions didn’t.

 

Gon watched in horror along with a bunch of other students as Palm attempted to push past the large crowds in the hallway. The junior shoving around as she suddenly appeared to lose her balance and trip on air. One foot miss-stepped, making her other heeled shoe teeter, until she toppled to the hard tiled floor.

 

Killua bellowed, “BEGONE THOT!”

 

A few students shouted as they moved out the way. Others panicked seeing blood pour from a gash on Palm’s head.

 

The hallway broke out in shrieks, “TEACHER! TEACHER! GET A NURSE! CALL A HOSPITAL!” It became chaos of people taking pictures and recording. Teachers rushed out, pushing freaked out students to the side.

 

All Gon could do was gawk at the horrendous tragedy that unfolded because of him.

 

A voice whispered in Gon’s ear menacingly, “This is only the beginning. Half of your punishment.” Killua's deep voice making his heart pound fearfully. Another threat followed, “Next time you forget who you belong to, the results will be even worse.”

 

“I don’t understand… how are you real?” Gon said in disbelief. “Killua...you… were.. aren’t you just a figment of my imagination?”

 

There was no answer. It was quite possibly because there were too many answers. Since people could only see life through their own eyes, who was to say they weren’t all just seeing an illusion of what they wanted life to be. Who was to say that life wasn’t a huge video game with a few NPC(s)? What if you weren't in control? Or what if you were and you ruined your own life? So many ideas….all of them stem from the need to describe an unusual phenomenon.

 

The observed phenomenon being that there is possibly a high force stronger than their weak human nature interfering in their lives. Some called this person, “ _God_ ” but Killua was far from being God. He was more “ _One who was like God_ ” over Gon’s life.

 

“My poor sweetheart.” Killua cooed. “You’ve probably forgotten all about our friendship, haven’t you?”

 

Even though Gon couldn’t see him, he wrinkled his eyebrows together in question. Gon fumbling with his cellphone as he navigated the dangerous school halls. There was a little lag in his step, and Killua guessed it was because he was perplexed or worried.

 

Gon probably missed him so much, his little heart didn’t know what to do without Killua around.

 

Killua affectionately, gave a chaste kiss on Gon’s lips. “Don’t worry…. Soon you’ll be able to see me do that.” He kissed him again, more deeply this time. “And you’ll kiss me back.”

 

* * *

 

Killua bid his time carefully watching Gon, until he bored him by falling asleep in bed.

 

Boldly Killua narrowed his blue eyes, slipping his hands down to cup Gon's ass---the firm rounded skin, plump like a beach ball. The taller boy could have toyed with it, but he’d much rather have Gon awake for this occasion. “Hey, wake up. I haven’t finished punishing you, yet from earlier."

 

Gon kicked a bit, brown eyes fluttering open to see Killua in bed beside him. The boy’s white hair covered his lustful blue eyes, as he slapped Gon's ass rashly. It made the other teen yelp in surprise. "Killua…!" Gon whimpered, squirming against him. “What..what the heck am I dreaming?”

  
  
"Stop joking. I told you, you need to learn who you belong to, Gon." Killua warned, petting over Gon's rear half teasingly and half comfortingly.

 

The fucker didn't even ask if Gon was okay… or at least ask if Gon wanted to keep being touched. Killua just touched and _took_ like the fucking boss that he was.

 

 Gon let out a bitchcry, "Yo..you?"

  
  
"Yes." Killua snapped. He roughly ripped the cover off Gon’s body. ”Me.” The shorter boy shaking a bit, as the villain pushed him on his back.

  
  
Gon swatted at the air. "Gooo away! I don’t like this dream! I’m mad at you, Killua. Your way of handling the situation got Palm hurt! She could die."

  
  
"Yeah, but you know my way rocks." Killua taunted, crowding Gon against the mattress. "It’s just I….get so sad sometimes Gon." His slender pale fingers dragged along Gon's body.

  
  
The touches made Gon gasp, "Whyyyyyyy?" A noticeable blush graced his pimple covered face.

  
  
"You really make me sad," Killua mumbled. He traced his fingers to Gon's jeans feeling the bulge. "When you forget who you belong to."

 

“I thought I already answered…?”

 

“I want to hear you say it again!”

 

“But….”

 

“You belong to the person who you promised you’d do whatever they say.”

 

“You!”

 

Killua didn’t directly respond. He simply raised an eyebrow and commanded, “Strip.”

 

Once more Gon hesitated, but the fire in Killua's eyes pushed him onward. He shyly bit his lip as he pulled off his pants and boxers. He squeaked, "Happy? Are you gonna go away and let me sleep?"

  
  
"Ya know, I'm a pretty nice guy. When I want to be." Killua said, placing Gon in his lap. Gon didn't really weigh a lot, but he was probably more heavier than Killua. But feeling that nice round ass in his lap felt good. "Only one thing pisses me off, WHEN I DON'T GET MY WAY!" Killua hissed, slapping Gon's erect cock.

  
  
The smaller boy recoiled against his hard rock chest. "Ahh! Ki-Killua!"

  
  
"I'm sometimes… I just don't know what I'm gonna do…" Killua roughly stroked the heated hunk of flesh. "I might lose control.. You know, how I get sometimes, baby boy." A slightly demented look flashed in blue eyes as they seemed to be gazing up outwards at the wall lost in thought.

  
  
"I do? What do...k-Killua, please—" Gon persisted, choking when Killua gripped his engorged cock unforgivably.

  
  
"I don't like people who don't listen to me." Killua grit his teeth, as if reflecting on a bad memory. He smacked Gon's balls once more, before letting go altogether. Gon's entire groin throbbed, aching and aroused, as Killua sat back to straddle him. ”You know how it be..."

  
  
Gon groaned, the scene starting to cloud his mind. What the hell had he gotten himself into? What was he imagining? Killua was like a crazy unstable time bomb ready to explode at any second. The danger was deep. But he loved it, Killua's strict pain loving nature and yet his gentle but firm undertone.

 

Killua’s actions were unpredictable after all. Plus Gon had a feeling he would get treated so well, brought so much pleasure even if Killua denied him a little first.

  
  
"Please, I didn’t know," Gon choked out, pretty tears like diamonds forming in the corner of his brown eyes. "But I’m yours! Killua, I'll show you I can listen and be so good for you, please! I'll be so good, so—"

  
  
"You better be, human." Killua said with a low growl. The threat was less menacing. It made Gon smile a bit, which Killua ignored as he flipped him over onto his stomach. "You're gonna pay for forgetting who owns your ass."

  
  
Gon groaned against the pillow as Killua pushed him to his knees. “Ah.. Killua hold-hold on. I.. don’t really understand.”

 

Killua grinned not prepared to stop until Gon was completely dominated and understood where he stood. He wanted to hear all the sounds his lover could make, every position that lovely shape could curve into.

  
  
_Fuck_. Gon's cock throbbed, pleading to be touched again. Yet, Killua was bitching and toying with him. No matter how many mews Gon cried out cutely. "Ahh..ughhff. Touch me there!" It didn't help his case, but made him look like a needy slut.

  
  
Killua's eyes ate up the performance. He was memorizing every part of it, "Truly a work of art." He smirked, stroking a hand down Gon's back. "Baby boy, tell me.....what kind of a masochist are you?" It was true that Gon's fearful movements sparked a certain fire in Killua, making the smug look on his lips grow.

  
  
Soft black curls bunched up on the pillow as Gon flexed his hips against Killua's. "I'm not..n-not sure. I just like a thrill!” He purred lightly, satisfied with the little bit of pleasure given to him.

 

  
"Oh, I’ll give you a thrill alright…" His pale fingers reached to grab Gon's cock, tight enough that it'd feel amazing if he started stroking, but not enough to hurt. Killua taunted, "You feel that, baby boy? This is mine. I own this dick. I own it's orgasms. I own when you cum and when you don't. I own every fucking beautiful inch of you." His tone was almost possessive more than angry. It was so stern, like the cocky look on his face. Killua's hand started pumping Gon like a car at a gas station, just to get him going as if to prove a point. "You can't control yourself, so I have to be in charge of your pleasure. You should be thanking me for all I do for you."

  
  
Gon reluctantly agreed, "Ahhh! Thank you, Killua, thank you, please—!" Throwing his head back, cutely his pink lips parted, "Pump faster."

  
  
Killua stroked a bit faster. "See this? See all I could have done for you?! But you wanted to be with her. You wanted to forget me..." The teen had moved closer, spewing filth directly into Gon's ear while he jacked him off. "What if she only likes you for your sexy looks?"

  
  
Poor Gon was _so close_ , so beyond words he couldn't articulate a proper warning. He was screaming, with his freaking cute whiny vocal cords. Loudly screaming, "Killua! Killua! Ahh, I..I wouldn’t ever desert you!"

  
  
Unphased by the declaration, Killua started to slow down. "Mmm, you forgot about my feelings."

  
  
"It’s...you’re my first wet dream!" Gon wailed. "How can I not feel something for you?"

  
  
The sound was almost irrationally annoying to the taller boy. He longed for more kicking and screaming. "Look at you! Begging and being all nice, when you’re on punishment." Killua had this dark look come over him and suddenly shifted his grip to the base of Gon's cock like a vise, stopping his orgasm abruptly.

  
  
"No!" Gon cried rawly, his face beet red from exertion. A high pitched scream escaping from his lungs when he felt Killua zap a beam of light. A shock of blue lightning acting like a cock ring popped into place. "No, no, no, _please_!" He let out a slight scream.

  
  
"You still ain't learned nothing," Killua spat, smacking Gon's ass. He spoke a word each time the cheeks bounced. "I make the rules around here!"

  
  
"Rules! I hate rules!" The black haired boy whined, knowing his fate was damned to not cum.

  
  
"Do you really? Well before you told me to show you really like someone you make ‘em feel good." Killua stood up, watching the boy hopelessly roll around in bed. He circled around the mattress a few times, getting a good view of his lover's body from every angle. He noticed how, Gon’s bare bottom grew red from all the spankings. "I just want to make you feel good and punish you by using those kinks you introduced to me. So, no rules if you shake that cute ass of yours in the air for me.”

 

He was shocked to see Gon weakly comply. The small boy got in doggy style position, with his face bright red as his brown eyes lustful. He moaned, "Please, seee… look. I’ll be good and make you feel good, too." 

 

Blue eyes danced with amusement as the smaller boy followed his lead. Gon was such a good human to mess with. He might actually deserve a bit more touches.

 

Killua situated himself in front of Gon, his back against the headboard. Gon was kneeling with his ass up, Killua's hands gently rubbing him. Soft black hair rested against Killua's thigh. Pale fingers lightly traced tan legs, while Gon gazed, mesmerized at Killua’s various mood swings.

 

The taller boy raised a hand, it was unwavering as if he was making a decision. "That was a very good performance." Killua said. "Rules voided...but don’t know if my heart feels healed after you hurt me."

  
  
Gon whimpered at the reminder of how bad he'd been, how bad he was going to get it. He rubbed his face against Killua's warm skin, seeking comfort. "I’m sorry, Killua..." His soft black hair tickled the side of his friend's hand.

  
  
"Hush," Killua muttered his voice was softer, caressing instead of biting. He stroked Gon's cheek lovingly. Brown eyes fluttered shut feeling the smooth gentle touch on him. "You were naughty but you're going to be good now, baby boy? If you accept your punishment because you're mine, I might bless you graciously with my seed."

  
  
Gon nodded against his thigh mutely. Killua made a curious noise behind Gon, removing his hands. Gon twitched his hips back absently, quiet in anticipation. If he just ignored the throbbing cock ring, everything else was so good. He felt so fuzzy, so warm.

 

Killua pulled Gon's face away from his thigh, getting a feeling the small male was getting too comfortable. It must have been a correct hunch because Gon opened his eyes, unaware of when he had closed them. "Huh?"

  
  
Killua asked again in an aggressively sweet tone, "Are you gonna accept my punishment, Gon?"

 

"I..don’t know. I mean this is a dream?" Gon replied, moving to grind his hard cock against the bed. He tried to bury his face between Killua's legs again. Longing to feel the warm fluffy sides squash him….Gon figured he just might be safe if he buried his head and got crushed by Killua's thighs. Maybe it would get on his good side. Oh, Gon would do anything to fix up and get on Killua's good side.

  
  
"Alright.." Killua quipped, dragging Gon by the hips across his lap. He lifted him like a person might do a squirming bunny trying to escape. His pale hands locking Gon into place firmly as he babied him, pushing his head down to the mattress. "We are only half-way done—now it is time to make you scream my name."

  
  
Gon didn't know if he could take it, his ass was on fucking fire. His cock hurt with neglect. The poor boy felt like he was falling apart. Killua pressed a gentle kiss to both ass cheeks before shifting down the bed. Gon's pulse thrummed, the kisses made his heart spark up. "Oh..." Gon complained his eyes watering, as Killua kissed his mouth, firm and hot, tongue dragging along his bottom lip like a joy ride. The short boy complained, “It's not fair! Love is supposed to make both people feel good.”

 

Killua raked his fingers through soft black hair, "Hmm, but baby boy...Don’t you _feel_ good You're just doing so good for me, performed so well..." Gon drowsily registered that Killua was saying actual words. Words sounded broken and distorted, like he was being suffocated underwater.

  
  
Huge brown eyes were bright with anticipation, as a haze of submission overtook them. Killua leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to Gon's swollen lips, and Gon, as if shocked by a live wire, reciprocated eagerly. Gon’s arms wrapped around Killua's neck. Hoping that this would signal the end of his punishment for a while, Gon let himself run wild. Their hot skin rubbed together, sending sparks down their bodies. Biting Gon's lower lip, Killua preened while Gon gasped, allowing him to enthusiastically lick into Killua's mouth, before the other's tongue overpowered his.

 

Killua felt Gon become a little too excited, moaning into his mouth while his cock brushed against his leg. He used the opportunity to drag one of Gon's arms down and lock his wrist in an lightning cuff. He broke away from the kiss to pull the chain through a post in the headboard. His sweaty white locks fell sexily over his venomous blue eyes laced with poison, and kept Gon in their trap, weakening his self will by the second.

 

"Doesn’t this prove, I love you? How deep my love goes for you?" Killua asked cheekily, almost proud of his work.

 

"Yes." Gon mumbled sulking in pain. Killua finished securing his other wrist above his head. He pleaded on, tilting his face up imploringly. “But what kind is it?”

 

"It's the ethereal everlasting love. So... Are you regretting it?" Killua asked, not the least bit concerned. If anything he was entertained by Gon pulling on the unforgiving chains.

 

Gon moaned, thrashing against the bonds. His body arched for Killua's, he was burning with longing to feel more touch. But Killua backed away. _That was cruel._ If Gon wasn't begging, he might have gotten bold and kicked Killua in face for that.

  
  
"No," Gon winced, at the cock ring tightening by the second. "I just...belong to you, Killua! Only you!"

  
  
Killua felt his penis throb. "Aw...fuck.." He reached in his pants, giving attention to his own hard erection. He'd be neglecting his own needs just to teach Gon a lesson, but hearing those cute words had almost made him cum. His erection was hot, heavy, and completely ready to explode. "Baby boy, sa-aay..say that again." 

  
  
Gon felt his heart race watching Killua's hands go to work on himself. The huge bulge moving, created a light blush on his tan skin. He whispered out, "I..ju-just belong to you, Killua! Only you!"

  
  
"Fuck, yes...say it just like that..." Killua panted out as he looked at him. Those brown eyes marveling at him. Damn, _only_ Gon could get him all worked up like this. His white bangs covered most of the greedy lust burning in his blue eyes as he beat his meat, staring at Gon's heavenly face.

  
  
"C-can...can I?" Gon swallowed dryly. _This was hot.._ For some reason he wanted to be the one to do it. He wanted to taste dick, smell dick, feel dick.

 

"Can you what?"

  
  
"Can I touch it?"

 

Killua cut his eyes at Gon almost accusingly. "This is your fault, baby boy! You did this..." He took one hand out of his pants, a bit of precum on his fingers as he used them to tap on Gon's cheek. He jerked Gon's face over to get a view of his large dick.

 

Gon flinched as pale fingers rubbed off juices on him. Curiously, he licked like they were a piece of candy, as his pupils widened at the sight of Killua's package: defined, toned, and huge.

 

Killua noticed Gon's admiration. "You, have to take responsibility...Love." He whispered, in the air between them.

 

Gon's lip quivered, "I'm sorry… this is my first wet dream so..."

  
  
"Go ahead..."

 

"What?"

  
  
"I usually don't say this because you’re in trouble but, go ahead."

  
  
"Ahead? Give you head?"

  
  
"No." Killua unzipped his pants and lowered his boxers, letting his cock springing free. He pointed at it. "You are granted permission to breath on this dick."

 

“Ha...ah! Thank you!" Gon lowered his head, taking a big sniff of the delicious masculine scent that was coming from there.

  
  
"Aw, there's my desperate cute little sweetheart," Killua taunted, his eyes flashing. "You've learned." He pulled Gon away from his dick, feeling the hot breath push him to the edge.

 

There was a trail of scars that decorated Gon's body, claw marks that looked animal made, done by none other than Killua himself. The marks matched with the pimples on Gon’s face. It was beautiful, in a messy bloody freak show way.

 

Gorgeous lips were busted, but wonderful words passed through them. "You’re the first, I’ve seen another guy’s...well ya know. I want to test m-" Gon began to strain his neck to reach back over to Killua's cock again.

  
  
"You greedy lil, cock sucker! You!" Killua yanked Gon back by his long black hair. The smaller teen was still handcuffed so it made stuff easier. He tossed him back against the bed from roughly. "You don’t get to! I want to finish my work of art on my beautiful body canvas!" He scolded, hitting Gon's cock.

 

Gon squealed balling up helplessly, his restricted member so heavy with blood that the tip rested against his stomach. Each slap Killua gave to his engorged prick was jarring; each of his cries sharply increasing in volume as the pain and arousal threatened to consume him.

  
  
"Mm, that's right, baby boy. Scream for me," Killua goaded, his emotions feeding off Gon's pained reactions. "Shit...said I was gonna wreck you, I meant it. That's what this is for." He gripped his own shaft, his dick still hard as fuck.

 

Gon tried to buck up—only Killua had him pinned by the hips and tied by the wrists. Killua slapped Gon's cock with his own.

 

Gon werewolf howled, “Aacccck! Ahh!” Clawing at the sheets, he threw his head back on the pillow trying to will away the agony. He whined, “Killua… please my insides fe-feel..feeeeeel funny-ya!”

 

Killua nuzzled him, before standing on the bed. “Shh...calm love.” He rubbed his own dick, thumbing his tip. “I'll map your face, as a reward because you’ve been so sugary sweet. Ya know, cum is rumored to get rid of pimples."

 

“Huh?” Gon failed to come up with a suave comeback, and he was dead tired to think anyway, so he didn't do anything besides earnestly listen to Killua produce some delicious sounds. Smoothing the fire in his belly, Killua fapped, releasing with a slight groan.

 

Gon’s mind barely registered what was happening, until he felt a warm thick fluid falling on his face. At the feeling Gon froze, jaw dropping open slightly, eyes glazed. His cock started twitching wildly in the confines of the ring. No seed spilled, except for the wet pre-cum coating his shaft.

 

Killua spilled more of his seed on his lover, satisfied with the knowledge that Gon was having a dry orgasm. _Ejaculation just from having his cock battered and cum on his face._

 

Brown eyes went wide to match howls of pure pain. Gon’s cock was still swollen, and Killua knew he wouldn't be truly satisfied until he could spill his seed.

 

"Oh, baby boy," Killua said, brushing his palm against the side of Gon's thighs. "You're so cute when you're riled up. Are you a sucker for pain like me, huh?"

 

Gon didn't answer directly, he was hissing in unbalanced insane pain. His fingers balled into the sheets, with his voice too frantic for Killua's liking. It made Killua's head spin. _'Gon is acting not right? Gon bRoKE_ ' The main thought whizzed through him.

 

Of course, Gon hadn't endured torture like Killua had, the smaller male shouldn't end be as strong as him.

 

"Fuck..." Killua hollered, shaking off the cum on his hand and semi-rubbing it in Gon’s skin. Desperately, he snapped his fingers, getting rid of the cock ring and handcuffs. Both objects fizzled into the air.

 

Killua stroked Gon's raw skin to calm him. It didn't seem to help much because the boy was _still_ screeching. Terrified brown eyes, sobbed uncontrollably. He frantically wiped away the tears. "Hush, hush… I know.." He began handling Gon's limp body like a rag doll unsure what to do with the teen in his arms. It was strange because for a brief moment in Killua's heart….. he felt panic. Killua never felt such a way for another person. He definitely didn't mean for Gon to end up like this.

 

He didn't know how to react or what to do. It had to be gay panic filling him. This is what it felt like.. this is what it was…. When you fuck up beyond fuck up with your significant other… _shit!_

 

Killua mashed his mouth on top of Gon's. The kiss enough to silence the boy, and push him over the edge.

 

Gon threw his head back in relief, “Oooh..”

 

Killua broke the kiss wondering if the teen was upset with him. Gon laid in the bed with his eyes closed shut. "He just went to sleep like that?"

  
  
"No," Gon whispered, cracking an eye open at Killua resolutely. His expression softened, at the concern on Killua's face. "Just, lay here with me…"

  
  
Killua looked at him blankly, still hovering over the boy. "Why?"

 

Gon tugged on Killua's shirt, dragging him down.  "Because I think we both need holy Jesus."

  
  
"I don't need Jesus, Jesus needs me." Killua snorted, rolling over beside Gon. He scooped up small hands in his larger pale ones as they laid there.

 

“You say that….But _you_ ejaculated on my face.”

 

“I did it because last time, I checked on you....you were worried about looking beautiful. But it bothers me, because I think people will date you for your looks! I don’t want you with anyone but me!”

 

“Eh? So you make my pimples go away so I can pull more bitches?”

 

“No! So you recall it was my sperm with the antioxidant…..That gave you smooth skin and helped with preventing your acne!”

 

“Gross….However, since it’s from you Killua, I won’t wash it off.” Gon could still feel a few of the droplets sinking in his skin. “But this shit better work.”

 

“It’s my sperm.” Killua pecked a kiss on Gon’s head. “It’ll work. I’ll give you smooth skin. I’ll give you anything you want, baby boy. Just keep on saying you’ll be mine.”

 

Killua hugged Gon tightly, because he was never letting his little ray of happiness go.

 


	4. Of comic books and supervillains

Gon gradually matured, and with that came new talks, new beliefs, and new ways to wash away the haunting he faced on a daily basis.

 

“Wow, the big sweet 16!” Ging hooted. He slammed his liquor bottle down on the table. “How’s it feeling? Feeling old yet?” He threw a brand new comic book on his side of the table. “Hope not, because guess who got you a new issue?!”

 

Gon yawned, bags hanging under his eyes. There was the smell of pancakes in the air as his Aunt Mito flipped them over the stove. She turned around to wave at him, “Happy Birthday, Gon.”

 

The 16 year old gave a little smile, “Meh.” He shrugged his shoulders, sitting down. He never cared much for birthdays. Since his birthday was also the same day his mom died. It sorta made everything anticlimactic.

 

Each birthday would go the same way, blueberry pancakes, they’d pack a picnic, then meet up with Kite to drive to visit his mother’s grave. They’d usually eat their picnic at the cemetery. Ging was always freaking drunk on this day. He would spit out insane theories and hiccup when he cried over his dead wife.

 

“Awe, come on, Gon.” Mito hummed trying to be cheerful, “It’s a good day…. nice sunny day outside.”

 

Really... is it _really_ a good day? If Gon wouldn’t have been born she wouldn’t have died.

 

It was a tragedy...

 

“She’s your guardian angel. She loved you, Gon.” Mito smiled at him.

 

 _‘Loved’_ which is past tense as in _‘she can’t love you anymore Gon_ ’ ….well at least not physically. It was the strong burning of what was said and done in the past that would always follow throughout the rest of one’s life.

 

“I know.” Gon tried to stay positive. He tapped his fingers on the table, a sudden idea perking his interest. “Hey, Aunt Mito. You believe in higher beings? Even if you can’t see them, you think about how they love and want to protect you.”

 

His aunt turned her back to put the last of the pancakes on a plate. “Of course. Love can pass through dimensions, worlds and can withstand all time.”

 

The 16 year old pondered that concept. It was strange to believe that love was everlasting, how could you love someone who would never love you back? What was the purpose of such a daunting task? There had to be a reason.

 

“Awe, Gon... ya know when you were born. I cried my eyeballs out. So many people were shoving papers at me...” Ging whined, “They almost tricked me to giving ya up for adoption in a group home. I was in total meltdown mode after hearing your mommy died.” The man waved a bottle in the air. “I couldn’t read because I was so damn sad. But then.....I looked in your eyes and saw how much they were like mine. I knew then, I just had to care for ya. You had my same eyes but the look you had in them was just like your mother’s. There was love in those eyes. Despite only being a few minutes old, you LOVED.”

  
  
Mito laughed, “That would have been nice to see...”. She smiled at the both of them. “Gon loving your goofiness.”

 

“I am his dad! Even he knew that!”

 

“Everyone knows love before they know hate....so I hope so.”

  
  
Gon raised an eyebrow curiously, “Really? Does everyone know love before hate?”

 

“Of course! Can’t know one without the other.” Mito promoted. “Love can be addictive. Once you get a little of it...you want more. Everything on earth craves at least some kind of affection.”

 

“Even criminals? What about psychopaths?” The 16 year old began to question her. It took a edge of concern to him. Love could come with consequences, if you loved the wrong person.

 

Placing the loaded plate down in front of Gon, she broke his train of thought. “You shouldn’t worry too much about that now, Gon! Besides it’s your big day!” His Aunt encouraged his happiness.

 

* * *

 

Simultaneously, hot cakes were placed down on the table. A friendly smile delivered them to him, “You shouldn’t worry too much about that now, master Killua! Besides it’s your big day!”

 

Killua gave a nod at Canary allowing her to leave the kitchen and rejoin her girlfriend outside in the living room.

 

Eagerly hands clapped together, “Happy 16th birthday big brother!” A cheery voice hummed.

 

“Thank you, Alluka!” Killua reached out to rub his little sister’s head. “I really didn’t think anyone would remember!”

 

“No one did remember.” Illumi snapped bitterly. He motioned to Alluka, “He was shouting all this morning about it. He has such a big mouth."

 

Alluka’s blue eyes sparked up with anger, "Don't call me a boy! I'm not a boy! I'm tired of you misgendering me! You do it on purpose!"

 

"What does your birth certificate say again?" Illumi teased to piss his sibling off more.

 

Alluka grit her teeth. She folded her arms, “Gender is all mental anyway.” Under her breath, she grumbled, “Asswipe.”

 

Illumi looked ready to respond, but his mother hushed him abruptly. “You’re siblings, you can stomach more love for each other, brats!” She sounded more annoyed than positive about this. “We are going to respect everyone, because we all know what a special day this is for Killua.”

 

Killua’s blue eyes dimmed, as he looked at his food. “Yes. Today is very important to me.” He picked up his fork admiring how it was gleaming off the artificial light just right.

 

How beautiful it looked. How beautiful such an innocent looking yet deadly weapon could be… it had that rare _duel_ beauty where is was pretty outside and inside. Just like _his Gon._

 

A sly grin crawled on Killua’s face at the thought.

 

His father cleared his throat loudly. The man sat at the end of the table. He had a stoic look on his face as he gazed at his son. Sometimes Killua wondered what he saw: Did his own father see him as a monster? A dangerous force be controlled? Or did he see a misguided broken hearted little boy?

 

“You’ve matured well, Killua.” As the man spoke, his wrinkles on his skin seemed to spread; his cheekbones sunk in and tired. Almost as if stress had did more damage than his age. “Your grandpa was right about you being a prodigy, when you came home at age 8 with your powers activated.”

 

The grin on Killua’s face grew in size. Even after all these years, his parents were still clueless about how he got his powers to activate.

 

He could tell his mother noticed because she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Oddly, the woman was always ready to stand up for family but scolded when he claimed _‘Gon is family._ ’ She was weird.

 

His father kept on talking, “Over the years, it’s been difficult to accommodate your needs. We didn’t always see eye to eye. Granted, your training might have seemed harsh. But now is the time for you to prove your worth.”

 

Illumi shot Killua a death glare. Killua knew what it was for, as he gave him a friendly wave from across the table. He threw a few words in the already tense atmosphere, “More proof than my blood lust for all of you.”

 

Illumi growled, “You better watch your mouth.”

 

“You should be thanking me. I finally have awoken my hunger to kill and it needs to be satisfied.” Killua lowered his hand slightly, “Shouldn’t you proud of me? I’m becoming a real villain.” Then he lowered his voice darkly, ensuring that only Illumi heard him whisper. “And if you don’t becareful, _you_ might be my first victim for talking shit about Alluka.”

 

“You know nothing of loyalty.” llumi sneered, his mouth in a straight frown. "Till then, you’ll never be a real villain.." His black eyes rose up to meet his younger brother's. He sensed the increase in heart beat. "You’re still just a student."

 

"Oh, are you sure?" As much as Killua tried to sound cocky and sarcastic, his numb mind prevented him from talking tough.

 

"Shame. You must be talking about _him._  He doesn’t remember you.." Illumi said, bleak with unfeeling darkness in his eyes. “You’re chasing after a loss cause.” His voice remained stable with monotone.

 

"Hush your mouth!" Killua barked out quickly to defend is pride. It was like the air around him became thick and his thought process zooming, as his head swam for an excuse. Any excuse to set himself free from self incrimination. "Gon does! He does!"

 

Illumi shrugged carelessly. "Either way, it's NOT MY problem. Gon is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. So what are you going to do with him?"

 

All eyes were on Killua, and the boy couldn’t be more pleased that he carried all of their hopes, dreams, and fears.

 

Killua licked his lips dastardly,  "I have a lot of unfinished business." The more he found himself loving and obsessing over Gon the more he hated him. He hated everything that he loved: his joy, his happiness, his smile. There was an inner war happening with with his mind and heart as he tried to discover what to do about the raw thirst he had for Gon.

 

His father took a sharp breath, “The only business you should be worried about is the Zoldyck one. We’re not sending you out to mess around. You have a simple task, cause havoc.”

 

“Huh?” Killua challenged.

 

The man cut his eyes at his son, “You can’t be that infatuated with a human that you forgot, you were made with one purpose to _kill,_ to _destroy_ , to keep balance between us and them.” He cracked his knuckles loudly, “Super villain, is a dubbed term for an evil person with powers. People like us have to keep those puny humans in check, to show them where they stand.”

 

Killua didn't answer directly because he knew that Gon's future was completely in his hands. _His bloody hands._

 

“I don’t get that. Ya’ll can keep that. Doesn’t fit me….” Killua turned his head to the side, gazing at the ceiling. “What fits me is getting rid of any human that tries to get close to Gon.”

 

Illumi slammed his fist on the table, “You disrespectful lit-”

 

His father hushed the outburst, “It’s your day, Killua. Live it.” On time Milluki walked in with the jar...filled of what ' _Gon called light up marbles.'_

 

Killua’s eyes sparkled at the sight of them, “Ah! My wish…! It has to come true, now doesn’t it?” He held his hands out greedily, ready to erase everything about this stupid life he was living. “Hand them over.”

 

“You could use some manners.” Milluki grouched, handing the jar to his little brother.

 

Killua clenched the glass tightly. Sharp nails created spider web looking cracks, allowing slime to leak between them, onto his fingers until the glass finally gave way and exploded into little shards. The glass left deep cuts on his hand, some pieces wedged in his flesh as sparkling glitter and blood dripped to the floor.

 

But not just Killua’s blood.

 

Alluka looked at her brother with a bit of shock, that slowly dissolved into horror as she saw the bloodbath the table had become. “Big brother! What…” She reached her hands up as she screamed, tugging on her hair at the horrid sight of blasted out brains leaking to the floor.

 

Killua stood up lopsided like a zombie. “Alluka!” He grabbed her hands, trying to hold her back. “It’s fine. Calm down.” His eyes gleamed with deviltry, “You’ll scare, Kalluto.”

 

The usually quite boy had his hands on his mother, shaking her dead body frantically. Tiny little hands clung to her, “Mommy don’t go! Don’t go Mommy!” Hot tears rolled down his face. He sobbed, “Mommy!”

 

“That’s it….feel the despair, I felt for 8 years.” Killua voice grew sinister, “But after all this heartache.... It’s finally happening.” He forcefully, let go of Alluka’s hands. Moving away from her seat, he paced around the room. “Isn’t it incredible!?” He spun, marveling at the effects of his wish. “We can finally be one big happy family! We just need Gon!”

 

* * *

 

Checking himself in the mirror, Gon combed his fingers through his hair. A beautiful young man with black hair, hazel eyes, and smooth caramel skin staring back at him.

 

 _Smooth_ _caramel_  skin.

 

Gon ran a hand over his flawless face. It was soft and free of any blemishes. He looked beautiful, like a Covergirl commercial.

 

“Damn, I’m fine.” Gon spoke to his reflection. “But looks are not equivalent to a beautiful personality.”

 

“Gon! Come to the car! I’m ready to go!” His Aunt’s voice rang so loudly in the air, it was impossible to ignore the command.

 

Gon smiled to himself, relieved to hear her. The more the day dragged on, the more it allowed him to forget about the supernatural stuff bugging his mind.

 

Cheerfully, he peeped, “There is no such thing as Killua. He’s in my imagination!”  The 16 year old quickly slipped on his shoes before running out to the car.

 

He proudly held the picnic basket. His ears picked up on Ging being his usually grumpy self. “I’m serious, Mito! Are you sure, you want to be driving? You haven’t gotten behind the wheel since..ya know that night when Gon was 8.”

 

Mito narrowed her eyes, “Well I have to try someday!”

 

Frowning sharply, Ging swung the door to the car open. “You better be glad, I’m coming too.” He sat down in the front passenger seat.

 

“Well you’re not driving you crazy drunk!” Mito hissed, partly freaking out as she caught sight of a strange shadow near her car.

 

“Mito, you’re my sister. I don’t think you remember how dri-“

 

“HEY!” Mito pounded the car horn as she caught sight of two strange people approaching the car at the same time Gon was.

 

Ging jumped in surprise, taking notice of a weird girl holding an umbrella over herself and a little boy at her side. He scratched his head curiously, “I didn’t think it was going to rain today.”

 

“Ughhh!” Mito began to slump more in her seat. “I knew we should have just taken the subway, instead of trying to dr-.”

 

“No. I got you, sis.”

 

“Please, don’t.”

 

Ging jumped out the car. He barked, “Are you lost kids?”

 

“Huh?” The girl could barely hear him over the fan running under her large black umbrella.

 

“Are you lost?” Ging yelled a bit louder.

 

Startled the girl blinked in confusion. “Hmm.” She tilted her large umbrella, ensuring shade fell over her hand before holding it out. “I’m Alluka..I’m looking for...”

 

“Your parents?”

 

“N-no..I’m.. I’m with Killua! My parents? Nothing is wrong with..they’re not dead, because my brother is sick.”

 

“I don’t know who Killua is. But if it’s a company, I don’t want to buy anything!”

 

“Oh, it’s not...I just wanted to say-”

 

“Why are you carrying an umbrella? No sign of rain!” He motioned to the car loaded with his family. “But if you’re scared, we can give you a ride to the bus station!”

 

“Ew...humans and all their rushing and hurrying around like mindless ants?” Alluka spat, “Hate that shit.” She raised up the umbrella, “If you must know, this is saving me. I have a rare skin condition, the sun can hide me from reality.”

 

“The sun hides from reality?” Gon murmured to himself as he opened the car door. He shuffled inside, putting on his seat belt. He looked out the window observing the scene before him. “Like a weird supernatural occurrence hidden by the mind?”

 

Mito stole a glance at him from the mirror, “What are you mumbling to yourself?” There was worry in her voice.

 

Confused, Gon blinked. Had he been mumbling? He’d been so lost in his thoughts he couldn’t be sure. Maybe this is what being crazy felt like. Maybe first you start pondering love and second you start mumbling under your breath incoherently.

 

Gon whimpered, “I don’t think I said anything. Could have been the radio?” The boy tugged on the seat belt, squirming in his seat.

 

“Yeah.” Mito conceded a little bit. “But..” Her eyes shifted back over to the touch screen controls. She began messing with the volume to experiment, “I suppose.”

 

A heavy sigh of relief flew out Gon. He rolled his eyes skyward, catching a glimpse of lips moving. A young boy looked at the long haired teenager.

 

The almost purplish haired boy was clinging to his sister. He mouthed, “Are you Killua’s obsession?”

 

“Obsession?” Gon restated the title, slowly pronouncing every syllable.

 

The small boy nodded.

 

“Killua?”

 

The small boy nodded again.

 

‘ _Oh no!_ ’ Gon’s mind whizzed. Turmoil sunk into his soul as his heart throbbed, ‘ _Could these people...NO FIGMENTS OF HIS MIND. It was just his mind redirecting his desire to see superheroes. But..why could everyone else see them?’_

 

Nervously, he averted his sight from the small child.

 

The whole car shook as Ging jumped back into the car. “Move over!” Mito shuffled over to the passenger front seat. Ging slammed the driver side door in the weird girl’s face. He shook his head, “Those kids have to be breaking the planes of reality. You know what we do to freaks? We run them the fuck over.” Switching gears, he smashed his foot on the pedal.

 

“Ging! Stop it!” Mito yanked the wheel. “Damn you can’t hurt innocent kids because of your supernatural paranoia!”

 

The van went flying towards the family, barely able to doge out the way. The girl shouted at the top of her lungs, “WAIT!”

 

All her cries were ignored as the car sped off. The man’s eyes glared at the mirror, “Damn it, I missed them. If you see them again, tell me. I want to put those creeps out of their misery.”

 

Mito pursed her red rose colored lips together, as she mentally counted her woes. Her eye twitched slightly. Sometimes she couldn’t believe how she was born into a family like this. _She really couldn't._  She had to take a few deep breaths to collect her mind before she popped off on Ging.

 

“You really like to start shit don’t you, Ging?”

 

“What?! They ain’t gonna do shit. They can’t fucking do shit. They’re a bunch of freaks.”

 

“They’re kids!”

 

Gon bit his bottom lip nervously, he folded his hand together trying to take deep and easy breaths. Out the corner of his eye, he saw the small boy whisper something to the girl.

 

_They knew the truth._

 

Ging and Mito did not know the truth.

 

The 16 year old croaked, “Ging...do you… you really don’t see them anymore?” It was hard for him to believe this, since he saw them clearly.

 

They had broke out into a run...it was 3 of them now. He could barely make out their faces through the blur of lightning. Somehow, they managed to keep up with the car by traveling at some unnatural speed, normal humans can not reach.

 

“Eh? Did you spot them?” The old man cut his eyes to look around once more. He mumbled something about, “Need glasses,” under his breath.

 

Gon fiddled his thumbs, sinking deeper in his seat. Stealing a look out the window, he saw the small boy pointing at him once more.

 

There was loud cursing, “HEY YOU STUPID BLIND MOTHER FUCKER LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE! YOU ALMOST HIT MY LITTLE SISTER YOU DUMB BITCH!” A pale middle finger was pressed against the window. “TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN! PULL OVER! PULL DA FUCK OVER! BET YOU WONT YO-“

 

A cold sweat began to run down Gon's face. “Nope. I just… can’t believe you missed them!” His voice cracked to block out the annoying tapping on his window.

 

“I’m happy he did!” Mito cut in, “Ging is a lot of things, but hopefully he’ll never be a murder!”

 

“Hmp! You can’t appreciate my exploration of the unknown!”

 

“There is no unknown!”

 

“Says who I’m-“

 

The car whirled around as a loud banging filled the air along with sparks. The vehicle swerved as the driver was forced to pull over on the side of the road. Ging grumbled, “What the hell? Did those crazy!?” He pounded his fist on the wheel. “FUCK!”

 

Gon darted his eyes up out the window to see the girl beaming at him menacingly. Her blue eyes shooting daggers at him, as she slipped a pocket knife back into her dress. She commanded, “Get out the car.”

 

“Is.. is anyone else seeing this?” Gon croaked helplessly.

 

“You mean the tire blowing that came out of nowhere?” Ging fired off, still pissed. “It was those crazy freaks! They cursed me!” He started searching for his gun. “I’m gonna show them. Don’t start none, don’t be none.. I’m DONE PLAYING. I'm going to kill ev-“

 

The woman slapped him silly. “No, it came from your bad crazy driving! Freaks have nothing to do with it.” Mito jumped out the car. “This is why drunks can’t drive! Come look at this.”

 

Ging cursed again, then he turned around to face Gon. “You might have to catch the bus to get Kite, before the food spoils. Then when you get there, tell Kite to bring his truck over so he can pick us up.”

 

“Eh?” Gon’s brown eyes testingly looked his father’s. “Are...are you..?” A wave of fear washed over him. “Am I joke to you?”

 

“What, kiddo?”

 

“You want me to walk to the bus stop, ALONE?”

 

“You’ve done it before!”

 

“But that’s what _they_ want!”

 

“They?” Ging raised an eyebrow, “They as in who?”

 

Pointing a single finger out the window, Gon prayed that he wasn’t crazy. _He really did._ There were some super powered kids out there.....and Ging being the crazy conspiracy theorist, should see and believe.

 

Ging sighed, “Yeah, you’re pointing the right way towards the bus stop.”

 

At the rate this day was going Gon was ready to jump out in front of a bus. A part of him was panicking….if Killua was real.. _then was what happened at age 14 real?_ Did Killua know about Gon’s urges back then? When he imagined how: Killua could hold him gently, cherish him like this, if he'd be good. How he would let Killua own his ass. Fuck him to the moon and back.

 

Giving in to powers beyond his comprehension or control, Gon got out the car. He stared at the kids, who in returned stared at him.

 

“Gon Freecss?” Alluka questioned.

 

“That’s me.” Gon surrendered.

 

A single hand was offered out to him, “My big brother Killua needs you to be apart of his plan.”

 

Gon blinked in confusion, hearing the younger boy with his ears sounded really weird.

 

“Now, Kalluto. Be respectful.” His sister told him sharply. She delivered a harsh slap on his arm. “You can’t tell humans that! They need to be slowly introduced to things.”

 

A slightly whimper passed from Kalluto as he motioned for Gon to step forward.

 

Gon didn’t move, fear held him in place. “I.. I can’t! I have to go to visit my mom’s grave.”

 

“You have no need to be afraid. Killua won’t hurt you. When he was screaming at the car before, it was for the other guy. Ya know the pissed off hobo.” Alluka attempted to encourage him. “We came really far for you, Gon. And we’re doing a lot of illegal deeds that I’m sure mi-”

 

“Don’t tell him that!” A troubled voice echoed through the woods. The voice was so familiar Gon’s mind recognized it abruptly.

 

“Killua!” The 16 year old shouted. He spun around, eyes narrowing to catch sight of puffy white hair. Without thinking, his feet ran towards it. He could imagine how crazy he looked right now—running across the road and yelling a name that no other human recognized.

 

Mito shouted after him, “Gon! Gon? Where are you going?”

 

Ging stepped out of the car. “I told him to hurry and catch the bus.” He waved to goodbye. “Run fast so you catch the first one!”

 

“Ging, he’s running into the woods.”

 

“Oh, you know kids these days and their shortcuts.”

 

A part of Gon, knew Ging was not that stupid and that there was no way his Aunt Mito would just stand as he possibly ran towards his death. He yelled into the forest, “I don’t know what creepy possessive spell you have on my family but cut that bullcrap out!” Gon stomped his foot, leaves loudly crunching below.

 

“What a temper…” Swinging down from the branch on the tree above him, Killua appeared. A goofy smile rested on his face, “Kalluto, is doing that to do you a favor, ya know? He’s using his powers to control their mind. You’ve seen him do it before… besides...Do you want to look like the true baka, you are?”

 

“Tch! You!” Gon couldn’t recall very much about having seen it before. He did remember a time when his Aunt sorta zoned out, but that was only for a day, right? It was normal. She had a bad headache because Gon was nagging her in the market.

 

“Me?” Killua pointed to himself innocently, “Me, what?”

 

Gon slammed his forehead against Killua’s. “Get back in my imagination!” He pressed hard against him, trying to suck the boy into his head. “Leave me be!”

 

“I know...This must be hard for you to accept.” Killua confirmed, he brought a hand to rest on Gon’s cheek. “But I promised, long ago...remember, Gon? I promised.”

 

Gon took a few steps away, “I don’t know who or what you are! So how could I remember a promise?!”

 

“Humans _are_ such naive creatures.” Killua back flipped down from the tree. He landed on both of his feet perfectly. “But you’re _my_ human.” He folded his arms. “ _My_ naive creature.” His blue eyes marveled at the adorable flustered expression on Gon’s face.

 

Before Gon could say anything else, Alluka and Kalluto caught up. Kalluto barked, “What's your deal leaving us in the streets and hiding in the woods!” There was outrage in his tone.

 

“I had to hide. Gon and I met in the woods long ago.” Killua explained, a shadow crossing his face. “I thought it would be nostalgic.” He rubbed his neck as if suddenly becoming bashful at the knowledge Gon here and still didn’t remember. He shot a look at his siblings, “Go back and ensure we’re in the clear.”

 

Alluka gave a nod, her and Kalluto disappeared in the same direction they came from. Gon couldn’t believe his eyes....He was having a hard time believing anything.

 

The 16 year old boy was left in bafflement. “You..met me!?” He rebuked, “No way! I ran away one day and created you to cope with my grief!”

 

“You did not! I’m real!” Killua bellowed. Hearing Gon repeat the same lie over and over again was like taking bullets, but none of them hitting his vital organs to kill him. He reached around Gon’s waist, his strong arms hugging him tightly. He whispered huskily in Gon’s ear. “Remember this?”

 

"Killua—ACK!" Gon said, his pretty eyes almost glittering in the sunlight. His back caved over, “What are yo-?”

 

“Throw it back…” Killua commanded. He thrusted his large bulge against Gon’s ass. The fabric separating them, made this a deadly tease.

 

Gon flinched, as his ass pressed firmly against Killua’s hardness. The feel of the large cock, made him shudder in pale arms. He couldn’t help but rub his ass up and down on it, as he bit his lip to withhold a moan.

 

“Is this real enough for you?” Killua menacingly glared at Gon, "Do you feel that?" There was a strong current zipping throughout his body. Killua was puzzled as to if Gon was getting affected by such high voltage. “I know you like it. Just by way your cute ass is up and your pretty face is down for me.” His white locks tickled the side of Gon’s face, as his blue eyes began to twinkle in endearment from all the ass movement.

 

Gon sputtered out, “W-what? Ki-illiaah!” He felt Killua’s wood grind into his ass. “You’re wild.” His face flustered, as he felt the bulge hit near his entrance. “I’m only imagining you feel so big. I want it like that, so you can fully fill me up.”

 

“Guess you still have a kink for thick dick, same as last time I came to check on you. Ahh..” Killua let out an estranged gasp. He frowned at the rock in his pants, so nicely mashed against Gon’s plump ass. “I’ve been waiting so long. I grew this size, just for you.” Fervently, fingers dug into Gon’s thick thighs. “It’s really hard to keep myself under control.” The 16 year old let out a nervous laugh, unsure of what to do with himself.

 

The black haired boy inhaled sharply, “See...this just proves you’re fake. Your lust is just my teenage hormones talking.” He smiled so reassured of his words as facts.

 

“Shut up.” Killua took a huge breath, “Hearing you say that makes me pissy.” His dick throbbed madly, upset it was still trapped in a cocoon. “Aahh,” He thrusted. Enjoying the friction of Gon rubbing his ass up and down on his dick. “You just should keep your face down and ass up.” Aggressively, Killua shoved Gon’s head down. The smaller male trembled as Killua’s absurd personality flipped again, this time, affectionately he purred into his neck. “That’s how you like it, right? It’s another kink of yours?”

 

Shame and embarrassment flooded Gon’s face, “S-stop! I..I have to go to Kite!” He felt his insides twitching, as he rubbed his thighs together to hide his growing hardness. “Stop..Pl-eeaase, just let me go….Killua!” He moaned loudly into the air, sound bouncing off the trees.

 

“Ooohh..” Killua’s body convulsed slightly in response to Gon’s bitchcry. “I’m so fucking turned on!” He howled, “I don’t think.....I can stop, beautiful.” He slammed harder into Gon’s jiggling booty. “Come on love, why am I the only one speaking?”

 

Killua pulled Gon’s head up by his hair, inspecting the hot hunk of ass his dick was ready to plow into. There were fresh tears beading in Gon’s lustrous brown orbs, as his hands were clamped tightly around his mouth.

 

Killua tutted in disagreement. “No, no.. Baby boy.” He moved his hands from off Gon’s waist, and used them to grab his small hands. The boy growled softly, “Let’s not do that.” He held both his wrists in one hand and used the other to tilt Gon’s chin upwards. “It be a shame to cover up that loud crybaby mouth of yours. If you wanna be mute so badly, I could always shove my dick down your throat.” An inhuman gleam flashed in Killua’s eyes, as his lips parted to reveal his tongue. The slimy muscle licking the tears rolling from off the side of Gon’s face.

 

Gon squirmed, “Killua! Please... You’re scary!" He was slowly annoyed by all this foolery. "This..this isn’t how it’s supposed to be done!”

 

Automatically, it clicked some common sense back in Killua’s brain. “Oh! You’re right!” He released the small boy from his monstrous hold. "Do you want to go out with me, Gon?"

 

The question sent the black haired boy into a shock: his brown eyes flickered with alarm, his stomach did flip-flops. He awkwardly looked up, then looked down. He repeated this action a couple times, before finally mustering up the words to make a few flabbergasted sentences. "Killua, why are you asking me out? You’re really freaking me out!” He was barely able to stand up and face him. “Just go away already!"

 

Killua's face fused with anger to cover up a wave of bashful embarrassment. He growled, "You can't counter my question with a question! Just answer me." His eyes remained locked on a hazelnut storm that ruled Gon's orbs. "Gon, I am an impatient monster. I don't appreciate repeating myself. Plus look at you now, this smooth skin. I gave you that."

 

Gon swallowed nervously, "I ...umm, ya! Killua! I mean if I imagined you...h-how bad can you be?"

 

Without even batting an eyelash, Killua informed him. "I’m bad. Bad enough not to have ever existed in your imagination."

 

Gon felt a strange jolt in his bones from Killua touching him. A mysterious shroud of questions consuming Gon's mind about Killua's motives, made him innocently come up with an answer. "Then, no! Why would I date you?!" He grabbed him by the wrist, and flipped him right on his back. The taller boy gasped, as Gon's foot pressed roughly against his crotch. “Killua Zoldyck, _if_ you _really are_ Killua Zoldyck….and you’re not apart of my imagination. You’re gonna need to prove it."

 

Killua's throat was suddenly so parched, he couldn't even swallow. Leaves crunched the more, Gon lowered his face closer to his crotch. His blue eyes marveled at the view from below: Gon's fine body. "Damn, you going all bad bitch on me..." He uttered licking his lips, "Don't act like you don't know who calls the shots." He jumped back to his feet. There was no sparkle in cold blue eyes as a small smirk tugged on lips. “I do. You’ve got yourself a date after school tomorrow.”

 

Gon put his hands on his hips, and screwed up an eyebrow. "Did I fucking stutter?"

 

"This date! It will be me....proving my existence to you." Killua proposed, reaching for Gon's hand. "We just have one date. If you don't like it, you never have to be my boyfriend again!"

 

Gon nodded his head hesitantly, "But that means, we'd be boyfriends now?"

 

The smirk grew on Killua's face. He leaned down to kiss Gon's tough knuckles. "Now is a short time, in comparison to our future."

 


	5. Of comic books and supervillains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oxytocin is often called "the love hormone."

The power of the human imagination has no boundaries. As the saying goes, “ _If you think it, you can achieve it._ ” Sure there are limits to what this common saying can be applied to, but it comes down to how hard are you willing  to work.

 

Gon didn’t mind the work part...it was where his mind wandered that scared him.

 

He’d have lucid dreams about things. Hard, rough, kinky things...these said _‘kinks’_ he buried deep in his mind. Pretending to forget about it was easy, but now it was starting to dawn on him that maybe his imagination wasn’t that imaginary.

 

Nervously, he sat in the living room, gnawing on the ends of his nails. His brown eyes dashed up to see Ging and Mito, in the office still arguing about the car. Kite was sitting beside him, mashing a few buttons on the video game controller.

 

“So are we gonna run this again or what?” Kite asked. The man always had this dullness to his voice. It wasn’t like he was annoyed as much as he was bothered to be living life. He looked at Gon, in disgust. “Don’t chew your nails and then touch my controller.”

 

Gon lowered his hand from his mouth. A slight eyebrow raised in challenge, “Why? We’re basically brothers.”

 

“That doesn’t mean I want your germs.” Kite retorted.

 

The black haired boy frowned slightly. ‘ _Germs….’_ He was certain he didn’t have anything deadly. But sometimes he couldn’t be sure. He wondered if…. stealing a look down at the blood coming from the ends of his nails.

 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Kite murmured, looking at Gon’s nails then back to the video game.

 

“It sorta feels soothing.” Gon brought his nails closer to his mouth. Slipping his tongue out he ran it over the ends. “Gives me chills..tickles my insides.”

 

The 21 year old snorted, “If this is your way of coping at 16, can’t picture what you’ll do when you’re 18. You’ll probably be into BDSM.” He flicked his finger to move the analog stick.

 

At the mention of that Gon’s face went crimson red. His mind hot wiring him a very vivid image of him and Killua—it made his stomach do flip-flops. Loudly he yelled, “Aunt Mito!!”

 

“Hey... Chill out!” Kite tilted the hat on his head slightly. “I’m just messing you.” He took off his hat and placed it over Gon’s mouth. “Unless you like this choking stuff.”

 

The smaller boy barked out a muffled, “Go back to community college!” He slapped the hat down harshly.

 

“I’m done with that.”

 

“I don’t care. GO BACK!”

 

“You know you’ll miss me.”

 

“Yeah I will….” Gon smiled slyly, “I’ll miss you kicking my ass in video games.”

 

“Hey!” Kite scolded, “Don’t use that word.”

 

“Ass! Ass! Thicc ass.” Gon stood up, and pointed his finger gun at his butthole. “Haha! Ha! I just fucking!” He moved his thumb like pulling the trigger. “Shoot thicc bullets up my own asshole, because I’m that much of a failure.”

 

Kite slapped the back of Gon’s head harshly. “Stop it! You’re making me cringe harder than the my dick feels like corn, meme.”

 

“Gosh! Learn to take a joke instead of being such a bump on the log.” Gon went cross-eyed and stuck his tongue out, attempting to make his best thirsty Hentai bitch face. “Isn’t this a little bit humorous to you?”

 

The man rolled his eyes. “I’m only entertaining this, because it’s your birthday.” Kite said. Standing up, he reached for his hat. “Gosh. Just the way you react, you're already so much like Ging. You both even have a knack for trouble." Kite moved over to scuffle up Gon's wild black hair losing him up into talking about the subject matter. "So I'm sure you'll find a slick way to beat me in Fortnite."

 

“I’m nothing like Ging!” Gon huffed, raising his nose in the air. “I look like my mommy. My hair is long black and pretty. I’m sweet like my mommy.”

 

Kite combed a finger through Gon’s hair. “Yeah.” He said thoughtfully. He pulled away for a few seconds, stepping back to look Gon up and down. “You are. But that’s also why you have to be careful of p-”

 

“Oh my gosh!” Gon exasperated. He tossed the controller in his hand in the air. “You aren’t gonna go all Supernatural ranting like Ging on me, are ya?”

 

“No.” Kite confirmed, “I won’t until I find it necessary.”

 

Gon rolled his eyes skywards. “Never then. I’m normal.” He lied to himself. He planned to _keep_ lying to himself. Whatever weird spooky shit that had happened earlier couldn’t have been real. “The human brain can subconsciously imagine stuff, right? If that’s true then isn’t reality just everything _you_ perceive….if someone sees something differently then that doesn’t make them cra-“

 

“Actually it does.” Kite countered. He gave a careless shrug, “But everyone's a little crazy.” He seemed to finally catch on to the sudden script change so he pestered. “Why are you concerned?”

 

Gon gulped, allowing a shaky smile to crawl on his lips. “No reason.” There was no way in hell, he could ever tell anyone about what just happened to him. “It’s probably the fact..I’m weird. Ya know maybe it goes into the..umm..” A loss of words came, ‘ _What did it go into? There was the pain thing…’_ There was so much he wanted to talk and share about. But he was much too embarrassed to admit it aloud.

 

Mito came from the office, with a hand on her hip. She declared, “Okay so we finally got a good deal on tires. So that takes care of the first blunder of the day.”

 

Ging followed behind her. He threw up his hands in a little cheer, but it came out like a sob. “Whoop! Whoop time to se-“ He was shut up by Mito’s death glare.

 

“I figured we can eat, then visit. Is it okay if we use your truck, Kite?” Mito asked. The woman was already heading towards the kitchen so it wasn’t like Kite’s answer would make much of a difference.

 

Gon’s eyes drooped. An unsatisfied cry came from his lips, “Why do we keep pushing back our visit to see my Mommy?!”

 

“Come on, now. You’re 16 Gon.” Mito quipped. “You know we will get there when we get there.” She shot a cold look at Ging reading, ‘ _We would have been there sooner if not for you_.’

 

“Something just randomly sliced the tires! How is that my fault?” Ging demand, his breath still wreaked of alcohol. He rolled his eyes cursing, “I bet it was one of those damn freaks! Fucking up people’s lives! All I fucking wanted!!” A few tears rolled down his face. “Was to see my fucking wife! But fuck no!”

 

Kite headed over to the kitchen. “I’ll get the plates.” Stopping near the table he instructed, “Just sit, Ging. Gon, go wash up.” He pulled out two chairs.

 

Gon sighed, as he sank back onto the sofa. He should have known nothing would ever be done on his time in this family. Even on his birthday nothing could go his way. It was like…

 

There came a sly whisper, “Nobody ever listens to you. But I do. I know what your heart desires.” The sound of it seemed verisimilitude.

 

Gon felt his heart began to pound faster with surprise. That was Killua’s voice wasn’t it? But where was he..? Why couldn’t he see him?

 

Killua slipped his arm on his boyfriend’s shoulder, “Shh…..calm, sweetheart.” A feeling of warmth came over Gon. “It’s impossible to be at two places at once.” He delivered a soft kiss on his lips.

 

The boy squeezed his eyes shut to prevent any further hysteria. Lowly, he whispered, “So what do you want?! I already promised you a date!” Gon grit his teeth automatically his mind correcting, ‘ _What are you saying!? You don’t even see anybody?!’_

 

“But you _feel_ me.” Killua purred, laying his head over Gon’s heart. His hands finding their way to their usual familiar spot on his boyfriend's body, his nails clawing at him. Closing his bloodthirsty blue eyes, Killua held his breath for a few seconds. Just enjoying the loud rapid pounding of Gon's heart. Killua's ears buzzed delighted, his brain jumping from conclusion to conclusion on how to fix this.

 

In his crazed mind, Killua wanted to cut Gon open from the chest down unzipping his spine like a jacket, using his long dangerous knife like nails, to feel that vital red crimson liquid run down all over Gon's fragile fine china glass body, drowning him in its essence of overbearing possessiveness. Feeling on every inch of him as he tore the spine bones, scrambling them out of place with his lips, enjoying the salty flavoring.

 

Killua wanted to caress Gon's lungs, stroke them while he bleeds. He wanted to hold his vital organs in the palm of his large pale hands, kissing the very muscles giving Gon life. Killua longed to crawl inside the deepest caverns of the Gon's heart, to hear that beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, poetic heart pump his sweet innocent life into his own.

 

Killua wanted to put Gon to bed in his final resting place, where that recurring smile was used as shared happiness. That would put to rest Killua's fear of, never having to part from him ever again.

 

Gon would be where he belonged finally, finally safe, finally with Killua….Finally at home with his family.

  
  
It was so disgusting, so utterly abhorrent. But Killua just couldn't take seeing his masterpiece get hurt anymore, simply he saw it as just doing his boyfriend favor.

 

“Tell me what you desire….Is it to get away from these people? This fake dysfunctional family.” Killua spat, “You ran away from them once, Gon. Now that I’m here to help feel free to do it again.”

 

“No way!” Gon hissed, lowly. He darted his eyes around ensuring nobody else saw him as a crazy person talking to himself. “I might get pissy but all that stuff is temporary. You’re just a part of my imagination that is upset and still in my rebellion phase.”

 

“They cannot love you the way you need to be loved.” Killua sneered. He knew Gon liked the tainted type of deadly miraculous love: chained and spellbound. A throaty growl escaped his lips, “Only I can satisfy that. I’ll prove it you.”

  
Killua would have Gon forever. He would madly be content knowing his boyfriend, would remain chained to his side. Killua was gonna keep him safe locked away from the cruel world, like princess kept in a tower.

 

“What?” Gon stuttered out. He tensed up slightly, “I’m still waiting for you to show me a lot of things. You’re just full of crap to me.”

 

Killua’s tones grew monstrous, “Oh really?” A delusional fit of laughter almost swept over him, but he kept his insanity down a notch. Using his sharp nails to steadily tap on Gon's chin, he drew a line slicing down from there to the center of his throat. A trail of blood trickling like a slow creek as some flesh dug up under his nail. “I wonder how your human brain will explain that.”

 

“Tc..ooooh.” Gon croaked at the sandpaper sensation setting his insides on fire. He popped his eyes open, trying to search for anything to explain this wild jolt coursing his bones.

 

Killua’s pale ears twitched hearing Gon's rapid sudden increase of heart beat. Killua regarded the action amazing that a human could still feel enlightenment from a single touch.

 

"Baby boy, here’s what you don’t comprehend," Killua muttered,!his head resting on Gon's chest. “You're mine.” Blue eyes glowed as he dug his nails in tan flesh, drawing a heart on the base of his boyfriend’s neck. “There is no choice. There never was one. Even if you would have rejected me earlier, I would have still took what was mine.”

 

Delightful sparks danced, as Gon's body tense up in pain. A slight whimper escaped his pretty lips, "K-Killua? Please..." It was a slight plea almost heartbreaking, if Killua wasn't such a savage. It frustrated him to hear his voice like that! Automatically, he stood up, “Just stop fucking with me! I’m not in the fucking mood. You think this shit is funny, but it’s not! It’s sick!”

 

“Hpm!” Killua’s face flustered slightly alarmed and surprised by Gon’s words and actions. The boy was storming away from him. He had his middle finger up as he went into a guest room and slammed the door shut.

 

Gon jumped on the bed. He screamed loudly, “EVEN ON MY BIRTHDAY! I STILL CANNOT GET WHAT I WANT IN THIS FA-“ He delivered a mean punch to the pillow beside him. Strangely, he felt like a sad 8 year old again, having a fit over absolutely nothing.

 

He heard his Aunt yell something back at him. It was along the lines of, “Come eat your cake at least!”

 

Gon didn’t want it. He wanted Killua to go away! He wanted to eat at his mom’s grave. He wanted this day to get back on track how it should be instead of being such a train wreck. He swallowed down tears, attempting not to cry over such fruitless things.

 

“Awe, baby boy.” Killua appeared in front of the bed. This time physically, holding a tub of ice cream and a large slice of cake. “You didn’t tell me, it was your birthday.” He raised the food items in the air cheerfully, “It’s my birthday too!”

 

Gon rolled over on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow to ignore him.

 

The white haired boy whispered, “Come on, Gon. Cheer up.” He put the food to the side and rubbed his face against Gon's thighs. His blue eyes flashed playfully as a smile came on his face, “You can’t be gloomy.."

  
  
“Get lost.” Gon huffed, still not looking at him.

 

Killua rubbed his nose in the upper part of Gon’s hips. His mouth started to water as he smelled the smaller boy’s arousal. He motioned to the cake on the nightstand. “You want cake?”

 

Gon flinched as he felt Killua nudging his thighs apart. Soft curls made his legs spread, as Killua planted a kiss on the inside. The wet kiss made Gon giggle out, “No!” He couldn’t help but laugh. He was ticklish on the inside of his thighs— _why the fuck was he ticklish there?_

 

Killua’s eyes twinkled with endearment. A gorgeous brow arched, as his fingertips wiggled in Gon’s boxers. “Well, can I have _your_ cake?”

 

“If it makes you get out of here faster, eat all the chocolate cake and ice cream you wa-aaahh!” Gon bit his bottom lip, as he felt his shorts and boxers being pulled down to his ankles. He kicked immediately, “What THE ACTUAL FU-!?”

 

“You just said, I can have your cake.” Killua reaffirmed, “No take backs.” He hissed, thumbing circles on Gon’s plump ass. “This is like your present to me.”

 

“I meant you can eat my chocolate cake slice you came in here wi-iccckk!” A cold sensation was pressed on one of Gon’s ass cheeks. It made him jump, as he fearful turned his head slightly. He saw Killua scooping chocolate ice cream on his other cheek. The ice cream melted easily against the heated flesh, creating a trail of sweetness right to his hole.

 

“I plan to eat that too!” Killua smeared more chocolate goodness all over Gon’s ass. “See? I’m gonna eat it all!” He beamed, “Eat _my_ birthday cake.”

 

At the strange sensation of sugar entering his virgin hole, Gon groaned. “Killua! Don’t put ice cream there! What if...I catch AIDS or something!?” He was about to flip over, but Killua held him down. All he could do was shiver as his greedy hole sucked up the ice cream. The chocolate filling him, as a steady stream kept flowing in.

 

“You don’t catch AIDS from ice cream. You get that from unsafe sexual interactions.”

 

“This is unsafe sexual interactions!”

 

“Gon...I’m clean.” Killua hummed, placing the big slice of chocolate cake right on top of Gon’s ass. He leaned over and blew inside Gon’s ear. “Now be a good boy,” Lewdly, he licked his lips. “And let me eat you out.”

 

Gon trembled, he felt so cold. It was like his legs were growing numb. His teeth chattered, “H-Hurry!”

 

Killua clapped his hands together, praying over the hot mess of food he made. “Thank you, Lord. I just wanna say, you did right creating Gon a-“

 

“Oh my…..you are _not_ fucking serious!”

 

“Have to say grace, before I dive in.”

 

“You better ask God to forgive you for your sins! BECAUSE THIS…” Gon hissed, pulling his long black hair up in a ponytail. “THIS IS A BIG ONE!” His mind was coming full circle, that if Killua was from his imagination...He needed to pray too. He quickly uttered, “Dear God, grant me the serenity to do it to em, and the courage to accept that I had to. Amen.”

 

Killua clapped again concluding his prayer, “Ah- _Gon.”_ He rubbed his greedy hands together, eagerly his hungry blue eyes took in the feast before him. Gon’s ass cheeks both covered in chocolate ice cream and a huge double layer chocolate cake.

 

Mutely, Gon nodded. As a reward, a kiss was placed on his head. Killua pulled away from his face and rubbed his stomach. “I just know, you’re gonna taste so good inside of me, Gon.” He opened his mouth and took a bite out of the chocolate ice cream first.

 

The lovely cream floating on his tongue delightfully. He licked it up. Lapping his tongue over Gon’s ass over and over, he lightly sucked on the skin. Teeth grazing over his flesh, as he moved his head around.

 

Gon shook, “Mm..aah! Lick it, more!” He barely managed to remain still, as Killua’s tongue reached his hole. The muscle teasing him, as it licked around the edges absorbing all the chocolate goodness.

 

Killua was in a pure blissful chocolate paradise, as he gave a kiss on Gon’s bottom. He murmured, “You’re doing so good, Gon. So good.” Puckering his lips, he sucked on a mound of ice cream. The coldness making his face blush as he viewed all the adorable ways Gon squirmed below him.

 

Gon moved his hands to clutch the bed sheets below him. It was unpredictable to where Killua’s tongue was going next. It would slip between his crack, slide over his sides, drag ice cream across his flesh. He softly cooed, “I’m cold. Aaw! K-Killua! Suck some of that.”

 

“I know.” Killua comforted. “But the ice cream is almost gone, the rest I’m gonna eat with the cake.” He took a bite of the double layer of extra chocolate cake. An explosion of crumbly chocolate chip drove a moan from Killua’s mouth. “Mmm, Gon, _baby_ boy. “His tongue rolling over the delicate texture, smooth and rocky at the same time. “You have to try this.” He grabbed the same spoon he used to scoop out ice cream with, from the nightstand.

 

“But I don’t want cake!” Gon complained, as Killua used the spoon to dive in and get a small piece of the cake.

 

Killua brought the sweetness to his lips, “Try. Try…”

 

Gon turned to the other side as Killua tried to poke the food into his mouth. The tall boy couldn't stop chuckling at how cute it was. Gon let out a little laugh as he complained, “Hehe....it’s not funny!” He kept on refusing the piece, looking dead intent on denying the moist dessert that he clearly wanted.

 

“Haha! Alright then,” Killua ate the piece himself, then reached for something else on the nightstand.

 

Gon gulped, as he felt something squirt all over his lower half. He whined, “What more are you doing?”

 

“Caramel syrup. You’re favorite, right?” Killua chuckled, squeezing the bottle’s contents all over his boyfriend. “It looks so pretty on you. It matches, with your skin tone and gives a nice contrast to the chocolate.” He put the bottle down. Then lowered his face to take another bite. This time the scrumptious chocolate mixed well with the caramel sending his taste buds on a magical ride of satisfaction. Killua let out another moan, “Gon… oh..you’re so sweet, I’m going to get cavities.” He took another bite, forcing Gon’s ass apart with his mouth.

 

Gon yelped, “Aaahh!” He squeezed the cover harder, his fist getting paler. “Killuaaah! Give..me a warning!” His hole twitched as Killua’s tongue circled it again. He could feel Killua sucking him up, when he ate all the sugary treats coating his body. “A... gooohhh.. so..feels so ooh… good!” A cry came from him as he released into the sheets.

 

Killua groaned, dragging a thumb down to taste some of it. He licked the white sticky substance off his fingers, “Yum...” He hummed, “And taste how good you are.” Killua encouraged, he scooped up another piece of cake for Gon to try. This time he wasted no time shoveling it down his lover’s throat.

 

“I sai-oof!” Gon gagged as the delicious flavors bursted in his warm cavern. _This was good cake._ Really _good_ cake.

 

The taller boy gazed down at him. His blue eyes growing soft as he looked at Gon tenderly, like a newborn baby. "See? What did I tell you, love?"

  
  
"You were right..." Gon choke out, turning away, his face redder than a cherry. There was something sexy about Killua eating off him like this. “And you were right about doing this. It feels...really good. I’m not sad anymore more.” A smile crawled on his face, “Thank you, Killua.”

 

This feeling brief of happy enlightenment that spurred in Gon, when Killua did what was sexually due, stemmed from Oxytocin. Which was a naturally occurring hormone in the brain, that when released it produces a feeling of love and satisfaction. Oxytocin found in _all_  mammals, is linked to sexual arousal, trust, and bonding.

 

Oxytocin is what encouraged them on. It's what gave drive  _to put trust_ in each other. No living thing is able to avoid, normal chemical reactions, unless... these tendencies have been damaged.

 

As for Killua, his attachment had been severed over the years. Trust slashed in half by his parents, crushed by his older brothers— smashing his hormones’ heavy impact. That was until, his lips met with Gon's. At 12 years old, the same bonding hormone that made them at 8 feel so at peace with each other resurfaced. When they hugged and kissed each other, their oxytocin levels increased. In all these close intimate blissful moments, Killua felt at peace with the world. It made Gon feel like how  _home_ should have felt. 

 

Killua shook his head, as if he was losing a battle with himself. “I’m….” He gulped, looking at the tempting soupy mess pouring Gon’s hole. “I’m gonna make you feel even better. Okay? I want you to feel as amazing as I do right now.”

 

Gon buried his head in his pillow, “Yeah.” The more took what was happening into consideration, the more he concluded his aunt was right. When his aunt Mito said, " _Love can be addictive. Once you get a little of it...you want more."_ He could confirm that he  _did_ want more.

 

Killua’s tongue stroked his leaking entrance, “So pretty...my chocolate caramel gorgeous mess.” He praised before shoving his tongue inside Gon’s hole.

 

The chocolate bliss caressed his tongue and enveloped it in sweet, sugary wonderland. Killua found himself slipping bites of cake from off Gon’s ass and chewing the thick luxury cake in his mouth. The fudge ice cream and caramel syrup mixed and soaked into his tongue. He did his best to swallow drops of deliciousness.

 

Gon hummed like a helpless happy bunny  below him. He was shivering and shaking, “Ooooo—Yeeeeeessss!” His ass jiggled as Killua’s tongue swirled around in it. Gon cried enthralled, “Killua! I..I..you’re so good to me!”

 

“Happy birthday.” Killua sung out. His muffled words sent vibrations through Gon’s spine. He licked Gon’s booty cake, pressing his face as much as he could between the ass cheeks. “And happy birthday to me!”

 

Gon licked the crumbs off his swollen lips, “Aaaahhh! Yes! H-Haaaaappy Happy BIRTHDAY!” He groaned, mind whizzing at all the gaunt slurping sounds coming from above him. “Happy birthday to us!”

 

A loud gurgling came from Killua’s stomach, warning him of eating too much. “I’ll die here.” The boy steadily lapped up more sugary sweetness. “My stomach will be full and I’ll drown in thickness.” He opened Gon’s hole up more, ready to tear the boy apart with his tongue and teeth.

 

“Killua…” Gon babbled, “You c-caaaa..nnnuuuhh!” His insides wiggled at the alien object invading it. “Can’t!”

 

“I have a boyfriend with the best thighs.” Killua lowered his head, dragging his tongue out Gon’s ass and down the inside of his legs. He reached in his own pants and rubbed his erection. Fingers moved up and down twice before the sight of Gon pushed him over the edge. Killua sucked on caramel flesh, as he came in his own hand. “I wouldn’t mi-“

 

A knocking came on the door. “Gon! Gon, are you alright in there?”

 

Gon knew the voice automatically, it was his Aunt.

 

Gon kicked his feet. “Killua, off!” He flipped back over, to face the boy. “Go!” He pointed to his head.

 

“Huh!? Gon! You never let us actually get to the good part!” Killua complained bitterly, “I just finished my cake!”

 

“Yeah! That’s all the sweet and deserts you need.” Gon sat up, reaching for his bottom half. He put back on his boxers and booty shorts.

 

“I wanted round two….But because you allowed me to eat you out.” Killua delivered a kiss on his cheek. “I’m going to reward your good behavior with a gift.” He took a sharp breath, inhaling— _Gon. His Gon._ His soft lips danced against smooth skin as he demanded, “Tell me what you desire.”

 

“I...I like superheroes.” Gon babbled. His voice didn’t even sound like his own. It sounded torn up, perplexed and broken. Yet no matter how unfamiliar it was, he kept talking. “Marvel heroes are my favorite. But I also really like DC. My favorite DC hero is Green Lantern.”

 

“You want something Green Lantern related?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Alright.” Killua hummed, as he dissolved away.

 

Gon stood up. He looked at the mess still on the bed and how sticky his ass still felt. ‘ _If this is my imagination… why isn’t the spoon, tub of ice cream and empty plate, dissolving too?’_ He stood there for a few seconds, his mind buzzing at what just happened.

 

Mito banged harder on the door. “Gon! We’re almost done eating! This is your last chance to get something.” She quipped.

 

Gon opened the room door. He was sure his frazzled appearance is what made his Aunt jump in surprise. “I’m sorry!” He apologized. He brought his hand up to run over a scar on his throat. “I was thinking about other stuff.”

 

“Other stuff?! You need to chill with those fits of yours.”

 

“I’m sorry. I just get so upset when weird stuff throw off order.”

 

“Oh...Gon…” The woman rubbed her temples, “Just go eat something or wash up. You look terrible.”

 

“This...was an accident!”

 

“Hmm?!”

 

“I was thinking about a date. I have a date tomorrow.” Gon disclosed to his Aunt. He figured if anything went wrong somebody needed to know where he was. “A date with this boy I met…” Instinctively, he reached in his pocket to feel his phone. His brain started wiring a bunch of believable lies together. “Online! He asked me out earlier. We’re going on a date after school.”

 

“Oh...and what’s his name?” Mito gave a little smirk.

 

“Killua.” Gon said. The name rolled off his tongue naturally, almost as if: “ _My boyfriend is Killua._ ” Was a sentence he should have said a long time ago.

 


	6. Of comic books and supervillains

“Gon.” Killua said. His lover’s name rolled off his tongue, almost as if: “ _My boyfriend is the key to my happiness, I owe him my self worth.”_ Was a sentence he had always lived his life by.

 

It drove Killua bonkers, Gon not remembering him. He knew human error restricted them, from recalling certain points in their life, but Killua had always been sure…. _Gon was his_.

 

“It's not your fault.” Alluka said. The sweet girl was always there to comfort her brother. “It really is just the reality of the world. People forget what they don’t want to remember.”

 

Killua grimaced. He was bitter that people only wanted to remember him when they wanted something. Any other time, he’d be invisible. For so long, Killua assumed Gon was different. That Gon remembered Killua because they were friends. Gon said, “ _We’re friends, Killua._ ” What had happened to that? WHERE DID THAT NICE ACCEPTANCE GO?

 

But just being able to see Gon again after so long, and finally able to not be afraid of holding him close— _this was a fair trade off._ Besides, Killua supposed that Gon would remember him in time.

 

"Evil is everywhere." Killua's eyes dropped as he titled his head to the side, smugness playing on his lips. "Good is commendable, but evil is dependable. Ya have to be bad to be good. So obviously Gon just got his loyalties mixed up." The moonlight danced over his face to darken features, it gave the illusion of a predator. Oh, he _was_ one. After so long feeling like an animal trapped behind bars at the zoo, now he could run rampant and free. Predators live on the prey they pursue..... And Gon was an easy catch.

 

"Ya think so?" Kalluto muttered almost in slight disbelief, but he wasn't expecting anything more from Killua's mind.

 

"Hehe." Killua chuckled darkly. "What else could it be? He kicked his legs on the ledge of the building. Staring down on the humans below, a funny feeling for mischief formed in his gut. “But soon...I will enlighten him."

 

"What about mommy?" Kalluto peeped hopefully. He messed with his jacket zipper anxiously, “When mommy wakes up and she discovered we helped you with Gon, she’s is gonna tell daddy. They’re gonna be so pis-“

 

Killua gave him a stern look. “NOTHING.” He silenced his younger brother’s rants. “I’m gonna make sure they never wake up.”

 

The youngest boy fumbled harder with his jacket, as he gave Alluka this nervous look. Alluka didn’t seem to have a real fear on her face anymore. Instead under the street lights she seemed determined, a new confidence that they were under Killua’s protection.

 

Alluka combed her slender fingers through her purple hair. She began to sing out a praise, “Big brother! You’ll take care of us! You were supposed to be the new family leader anyway!” Her blue eyes glowed, to match her karizma.

 

"Hell yeah!" Killua sneered, "I'll lead us into a new era! The whole world will fear and tremble, completely crumble to their feet to the name, Z-lit, that haunts their nightmares.” He smiled to himself, “Besides in my plan of ultimate revenge, no one is safe from my wave of torment." There was a cruel evil laughter that came out his lips. It was wild, erratic, bouncing into the alley below them. He hugged his arms around himself image he was hugging Gon. "Well except for you guys and Gon. Gon will be my queen!” He paused stopping sparks of lightning from engulfing his skin. “But in order for everything to work, I do need ya’ll to help after all."

 

Kalluto swallowed an awkward lump in his throat, as his heart melted. Almost in foolish thankful forgiveness. Killua would spare him! Killua saw him as a helpful tool that he needed. Kalluto felt so happy, Killua needed him. No one had ever said that to him before.

 

Alluka nodded, all ready prepared to swear her allegiance. She spoke for both her and Kalluto, “We’re ready to help any way we can big brother!”

 

Easily Killua knew how deep their dedication was. They were his family after all. But he wasn’t sure they understood what the job entitled. There were already too many people going around thinking they know the deal, when they ain't know shit. So it was for best for their own safety, that they understood.

 

Killua caught sight of a jewelry store below and decided to entertain them. “This job isn’t for the sensitive of souls.” He informed them, swinging his body over the edge of the building. Sparks flew off his body, sending a bolt of electricity to meet the ground as he landed. Shifting his blue eyes up through his bangs he called upwards. “We’re gonna have to get messy. For the sake of bringing, Gon back to us.”

 

Such an unnamed sin, scared Kalluto senseless. Granted the mystery around it intrigued him and he was happy Killua needed him. But the more he saw the delusion that danced in animalistic blue eyes the more, scared he became.

 

“He’s crazy.” Kalluto whispered to his sister. “If we listen to him, we’ll be ju-“

 

“He is better than the people who raised us. Killua wouldn’t hurt anyone unless they stood in the way between him and Gon.” Alluka barked back. She gave a warning glance at Kalluto, “So don’t ruin this for us.”

 

“Ruin this?” Kalluto repeated as if the thought was insane. “What the heck could I possibly do?!” He casted his gaze down. He knew he was dealing with a fucking monster. It was like a cruel heartless demon laid dormant under Killua's skin until someone flared it up.

 

Every part of Kalluto's brain knew Killua was insane and getting too involved with him was insane. Yet crazy was lured to crazy, (to make matters worse they shared the same gene pool).

 

Alluka wondered how bad Killua, could actually be.

 

The purple haired girl crossed her arms, a narcissist smirk plagued her lips. It was like all traces of sadness of despair ridden state had been mauled. She pushed away from Kalluto, feeling high and mighty enough to bring up the topic on both their minds. "You're gonna have to do better. To scare me into thinking big brother, is a threat to us."

 

“I don’t have to do anything. He’s gonna show you, himself.” Kalluto told her. He could tell Killua was a bit nuts. There was something in his brain not hooked up quite right, after being damaged so many times.

 

The way Killua was standing there lost in his own vast world of his obsession. The teen pleasantly humming to himself as he walked down the sidewalk.

  
It was a crime and shame, Killua’s craving to be fully satisfied with Gon.

 

Killua wanted Gon full _of him._

 

A greedy urge inside of him craved to taste Gon with his treasure cove of flavors. He wanted to mashed their lips together, shove his tongue in Gon's mouth and drink out his very essence.

 

He wanted to hear Gon keep panting out his name from that cute little mouth of his. Killua craved to hear more; the craving burned with primitive fire, making a new berserk mood strike accord.

 

He could picture it:

 

_Gon flinching as Killua's hot breath tickled his caramel skin. "Ahh, K-Killua...th-there." Gon breathed out in between the kiss huskily, as his boyfriend's hands started to roam his body. Eagerly his nipples were perked up, as a light pink blush covered his heated cheeks._

 

_"Here?" Killua whispered catching a lungful of the steamy air. His hands all over Gon, all over his boyfriend, all over his lover._

 

Killua pushed back his fantasies. Not here, this wasn’t the time for that. He could think of all the dirty ways to handle Gon, later. For now, he had to stay focused—Alluka and Kalluto were watching him after all.

 

He strolled up to jewelry store door. At first he stole a look around the quiet street, eyes shifting around to ensure there were no witnesses. When he was sure the coast was clear, he shot bolts of lighting from from his skin.

 

Non-verbally, he commanded, “Watch.” He cocked his fist back, before slamming it into the glass door.

 

On impact the glass cracked, ripples made like in the water. Slowly, the expensive glass crumbled to the floor so absolutely quenching to his ears.

 

The sound of broken glass… _the_ sound of _destruction._

 

Killua was evil flushed to the core, and nothing gave him a more exciting feeling than the thrill of breaking the law. Enjoying the true meaning of life which was crushing one's enemies benefit their feet, making people squirm in torment and fear; having people beg on their knees, kissing one's feet at the hope of just _maybe_ having their life spared.

 

The glass pieces crushed under his sneakers as he went inside. Calmly, he traced the wall till he flickered the lights on. Blue eyes caught sight of a prize worthy of stealing. It was a realistic all white gold Green Lantern ring.

 

Killua tiptoed forward, gravitating to the ring. "This is too easy." He murmured, a grin on his lips. His ears twitched slightly as he heard a desperate call from above.

 

It only came out faintly, “Watch out Big brother!”

 

The words made Killua freeze. His neck cracked as he turned slightly, white locks covering his bloodthirsty eyes as some figures came into view.

 

"Hey, you kid!" A man's voice shouted. "What do you think you're doing.

 

The white haired teen sighed, catching sight of a man with his wife and baby. The 3 of them lingering by the broken door. Who are they? A bunch of bystanders? Or did they hear the alarm and come out of their home to see what was going on? That was strange, Killua didn't recall anyone around these parts earlier. Either way…

 

Killua shrugged his shoulders, "Me? I'm just doing what I have to do." He then banged his fist on the glass case with the ring in it. The action gave him a few cuts on his hand, yet it made it easier to snag the ring.

 

"Bullshit! I'm calling the cops!" The man spat bitterly. "All you punk wannabe gangster kids y'all think ya can run around and bust up property and take what you want! But you can't!" When he spoke his cigarette fell out his mouth, which made him start cursing some more as he pulled out his phone.

 

  
Stupid old fucker.

 

Killua rolled his eyes, shoving the ring in his pocket. Some people honestly didn't deserve to live on this same world as him.

  
  
"Honey….. let's just get going. I'm sure the cops are on their way." His wife tugged on his shirt.

 

 _‘Oh look someone had some sense here,_ ’ Killua thought, _‘Guess all their family wasn't all boneheads and a waste of oxygen._ ’ Still witnesses were witnesses. He couldn't afford anyone to give out his identity.

 

The teenager cracked his knuckles, mumbling his thoughts aloud. "I really like doing this...I really enjoy bringing misery and bloodshed into people's lives." An almost demonic smile came across Killua's lips as he said, "I love making people suffer… I don't know why..” His voice cracked slightly as his body staggered forward, lightning encasing him. “I _really_ I don't know why…. I love it so much."

 

Those were Killua's final words of warning before he burst into action.

  
  
"Hu-" The man blinked his eyes in seemed like in an instant Killua had teleported right before him. Pale fingers were wrapped around his neck, painfully squeezing his windpipe to cut off all airflow before unleashing a wave of lightning to end his breathing permanently.

 

“Big brother!” Alluka screamed. She was running towards the teen, Kalluto followed behind her. The girl stepped between Killua and the family. “H-hold on! We...we don’t need to kill them! He..he has nothing to do with the plan!”

 

Killua's eye twitched, with his mind wavering on firing back, _'What the hell are you talking about? I will kill whoever I want. Anyone who tries me, can eat my fist.'_ Instead he bit his tongue, shoving his hands in his pocket. He raised an eyebrow challenging, "Yes we do. I’m stealing a ring for Gon. These fools are in my way."

 

“They...c-caaaan see us?” Kalluto squealed in shock. He flinched full of bashfulness.

 

Killua snagged up Kalluto. “Come on! Don’t be such a wimpy, lamb Kalluto! We can!” More sparks flew off his body as he bashed his fist into more glass. “SMASH THESE FOOLS!”

 

"They can see us, because it’s night Kalluto." Alluka informed her little brother. She turned more upset as her calm blue met rampaging blue. "But….Why? We shouldn’t have to hurt them? Let’s ju-"

  
  
Killua brushed the smaller girl off, “No. Alluka. We _have_ to murder all the witnesses.” He launched back into action. Telling his siblings, “Sit back and watch! _This_ is what the job requires!”

 

Killua would take this perfect opportunity to give valid proof that being bad was the only way to be good. People ran around stealing stuff from everyone all the time, easy petty things humans would die for. They die for shoes, riches, technology, it was pathetically beautiful.

 

The woman screamed at the top of her lungs, "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, so sorry he didn't mean to-"

  
  
Immediately, Killua's eye twitched. "Why are you apologizing for something you didn't do? WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYONE DO THAT?" He hated it. He hated people who try to say sorry when they haven't done anything. Her husband should have been the one apologizing with his last breath instead of rambling on about nonsense.

 

The woman held her child closer to her chest. “I didn’t mean it! I..nobody meant it!” Her pupils shrunk in her skull as they caught sight of her husband’s dead body. “We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

 

“Unfortunately, that’s all it takes for death to suck you up.” Killua fired out. He aimed a gush of voltage at her head, only to stop himself from firing because Alluka ran up to hug him.

 

She began begging, “Wait!" Alluka squeezed him tighter. "You really don’t have to do this! I'm sure they wanna go live their life in peace. Besides if they told anyone about us, no one would believe them!"

  
  
"Pff.." Killua began to pry the girl off. “Get a hold of yourself! If you’re with me, then act like it!”

 

Alluka’s brokenhearted eyes gazed upwards. "Killua!" She wasn’t even calling him, ‘ _Big brother’_ anymore. Now he was just Killua. That terrible monster—Killua. She pleaded, “I would do anything for you! You know this, but!”

 

“NO BUTS! I’M THE NEW HEAD OF THE FAMILY! ALL MY WORDS ARE A COMMAND!” Killua hollered at the top of his lungs. "YOU SHOULD FOLLOW THEM!”

 

This sudden turn by Alluka was shocking. Alluka was usually too easy pleased with any words out Killua's mouth. It was because Killua knew this that around Alluka, he could say whatever the hell that he wanted. But now it was like she was trying to think independently.

 

“Killua…”

 

“Let me go, Alluka!”

 

“P-Please, you’re better than this.”

 

“I won't make this all for nothing. I'll bring Gon to us! Make Gon into something, worthy of the utmost respect and admiration."

 

“Yes, that’s good! But these peo-“

 

“Kalluto!” Killua growled, lowly. He cut his eyes at his brother. “Get Alluka off me.”

 

“Nooo!” Alluka screeched, as she felt Kalluto peel her away from Killua. She began to kick, and squirm in her little brother’s arms. “You guys can’t!”

 

“But, look.” Killua pointed his fingers at the woman’s head. “I can.” He shot a burst of lightning. The streak so bright, it went through her, then danced across the sky.

 

The woman crashed to the ground soon as the lightning zapped her brain. She was lucky, to die instantly. On the other hand, Killua looked at the whining child in her arms. It was almost too anticlimactic that she didn't attempt to protect her child. Yet Killua figured he shouldn't have been expecting much of a fight. _This was enough._

 

This thrill of blood on his hands. Killua loved blood, the lovely red color. The hot substance was still fresh as it dripped off his fingers.

 

“I  _take_ anything, Alluka.” Killua reached forward, rubbing the blood from his hands on her face. “You feel that? That is the feel of _power_.”

 

The girl flinched, as a single tear rolled down her face. She attempted to close her eyes, only to feel Kalluto hold her eyelids up.

 

The young boy whispering in her ear, “No. You _will_ WATCH THIS.” Kalluto’s eyes glowed, ‘ _You wanted to see how bad Killua could be, right?’_

 

Alluka felt vomit hit her throat. She recoiled in shock. “N-no..please! Go back! S-stop this!” She cried out.

 

Killua chuckled darkly, “Heh..my poor little lamb. How many do I have now?” He pulled away, pointing at Kalluto and Alluka. “One, two…” Eagerly, he clapped his hands. “Two little lambs! You’re so scared...” He gave a quick kiss on the bloodstain he left on his sister’s cheek. “Don’t be scared. I’m here. Soon, Gon will be here with us.”

 

The baby seemed to cry even louder, almost as if disgusted by what Killua said. The blood that once was in his mother's head was now surrounding the infant in a pool.

 

"Poor kid…" Killua muttered.  "You wanna live don't you? It's a shame… you're so tiny and helpless.” He walked over to the child. “I can stomp your brains out right now and kill you instantly."

 

Killua raised his large foot menacingly above the child. The baby had a sense of danger, so it cried more.

 

“Witness this, Alluka, Kalluto! This is what it takes to get Gon back!” Killua announced. “Our precious family back!” The look in his eyes reflected how trapped he was---stuck in a time that should have ended at age 8. Forever captivated by Gon’s existence and how it rivaled his own. It activated a trigger, a need for the feeling of bliss. A sensation to make him feel sane. It was his control—the feel of Gon’s flesh on his own. 

 

Despite holding Alluka’s eyes open, Kalluto closed his own. He couldn’t stomach the gore that Killua cherished. Just hearing the murder, was ripping his heart apart.

 

There was screaming.

 

So much high pitched screaming.

 

Until there was nothing but the sound of Alluka choking on her own tears.

 

“Kalluto,” Killua called out, “Come here and help me take care of the bodies.”

 

Kalluto barely cracked his eyes open. He finally let go of Alluka. The girl collapsed to her knees, falling into her own vomit. She gagged, tears pouring down her face. She screamed, “YOU ALL NEED TO CHILL OUT!”

 

Killua ignored her as he looked at the mess that was left. It was a bloody crime scene, with brains splattered on the sidewalk. It would look sporadic and unplanned to investigators. It would all have to all go up in flames then.

 

Killua looked at the dead man's body and the cigarettes that once hanged out his mouth. It had been lit.

 

Killua grunted, “The lighter.” He picked the woman up, dragging her dead body in the store.

 

His little brother keeled down and reached in the victim's pants pulling out a lighter.

 

“Here.” Kalluto attempted to hand it to Killua, when he came out the building.

 

Killua went to grab the woman’s body. He steadfastly shook his head, “No. You’re gonna do it.” He declared taking the woman into the building.

 

“What?” Kalluto croaked out.

 

“I said get your ass in here to light them on fire!”

 

Cowardly, Kalluto obeyed. He inched inside the store, messing with the lighter as he walked.

 

A satisfied grin appeared on Killua’s face, when a flame came out the object. “That’s my good lamb.” He praised.

 

Kalluto swallowed the lump in his throat, as he squatted down to press the fire on the man's flesh. The flames rapidly began to eat up the dead skin.

 

As a reward for being so good, Killua ruffled Kalluto’s head. “The first kill is the hardest. Ya know?” He offered him a hand. “You’ll get used to it.”

 

The boy bit his lip. He took his older brother’s hand. “What if I don’t?”

 

Killua’s eyes glanced over all the riches that would soon be up in smoke. “Don’t worry, you will.” He encouraged. He punched in another glass case to steal a bracelet for Alluka. “Besides, this is for a worthy cause.”

 

Kalluto knew that was a lie. No one should have to die for a worthy cause.

 

Killua walked out the store to comfort Alluka. He scoping his sister into his arms, he hushed her. "Ahh, don't worry.." Killua purred out. "Don't act like that Alluka."

 

There wasn't any hatred in her voice, but her heart felt a bit of neglect. "What is wrong with you? You...just.."

 

“I got you this.” Killua clasped the bracelet around her wrist. “See? It looks pretty on you.”

 

Alluka turned the other cheek. Her eyes sadly looked at Kalluto. The boy shaking his head, unable to properly convey how he felt in the moment. He stuck by Killua’s side and held his peace.

 

“I mean come on, Alluka...I guess too much death in one day can drive anyone mad.” Killua hummed, “But Kalluto took it like a champ.” He nuzzled her hair, “So be a good girl for me. I can’t do this alone. I need you and Kalluto to help me."

  
  
"I-I will!" Alluka said, meekly. "I will help..but no more killing unnecessary."

  
  
"That's my good girl…Mmm, because you, Kalluto and Gon are my family. It's imperative that we all get along." Killua allowed a smirk to cross his lips. He declared, "I don't want my precious pretty lambs getting hurt or fighting with each other. Especially when we all agree everything we do is for the love of Gon."

 

Alluka and Kalluto shared a look, _‘When did we agree to this? Did Killua make the decision for them, because he was in love?’_

 

What makes someone fall in love? Is it their face, the sound of their voice, the touch of their skin? No—those petty obsessions is what makes lust. Love is different, it's falling for a person's personality. That's what makes love so scary. Because love is when you like a person for who they are, no matter what they do, because you will always see the best in them. That's why love was disgusting, because it was ever forgiving and unconditional.


	7. Of comic books and supervillains

There are numerous forms of love that exist in the universe. The most well known types were: pure love---when you loved someone for their mind and not their body; lustful love---when you love their body more than you loved their personality.

 

Somehow throughout the years, Killua’s yearning for Gon had evolved itself. It changed from hugs, to kisses, to...things that were more vulgar than previously mentioned. He narrowed down the single source of his cravings to be coming from his desires. His desires were _hungry_ for Gon.

 

Pureness had turned into lust.

 

A filthy lust like a raging desire, filled Killua’s whole soul with its curse. A strong sexual attraction that made his skin burn and sent blood down south.

 

Panting lightly, he pressed his head against the tile on the shower wall. The sound of water falling from the shower head onto his face, was covering all his low groaning. He stared at his erection, rubbing the head lightly.

 

His mind filling with fantasies of his lover:

 

_His pale fingers, made Gon shiver with pleasure as they traveled down his spine. Halting when they reached his lower region, his fingers pinched Gon’s ass. He purred praises, “Look at you, baby boy. You’re cute, when you do that.”_

 

_Gon smiled brighter. This time it was more intimate and less withdrawn….But it was still lacking something._

 

_He wasn’t sure what it was._

 

_Clicking his tongue, he slid his hands around to grip Gon's ass even harder. “You’re so...” Digging his nails into caramel flesh, sentimental words were replaced with marks on the boy's skin._

 

_The action drew out low groans from Gon. Feverishly, he shifted drowning in the power of lust. It made a fire spark up in him. “I’m so what?”_

 

_He wanted to say—everything….Soul focus of everything._

 

_He said, “Mine.”_

 

_The black haired boy giggled, “You’re so funny.” It was pure mockery._

 

_“I’m not joking.” He insisted, relentlessly. “I’ll show you!”_

 

_“By kissing me?”_

 

_“Yes!”_

 

_“You don’t want to kiss me,” Gracefully, Gon combed through damp white locks. Nuzzling his neck, the smaller boy whispered in the air between them. “Because you love me?”_

 

_A beat._

 

_A few hearts beat._

 

_Hesitation laced his sentence, “Well… yes.” He dragged his tongue because it’s hard to be so sure._

 

_On one hand, he was sure. On the other hand, self doubt called out his lie with ‘how could you be sure?’ Love took at least 2 people._

 

_The smile ran away from Gon’s face, “Lovers do fun stuff.”_

 

_A wave nausea washed over him. He pulled Gon closer to him. “Don’t look at me, like that!”_

 

_Their lips mashed together. Tongues in each warm cavern. Their kisses were hard. Both of them going to war with their lips. Their hands trailed around each other’s bodies, pressing and pushing._

 

_“Why not?” Gon urged, between breaths. “You just said, I was adorable.”_

 

_“When you were smiling.”_

 

_“Even if it’s plastic?”_

 

_He shoved the short teen against the headboard of the bed. He used his thumb to harshly jerk Gon’s chin up. “Don’t I make you happy?” He released heavy breath. “Aren’t I always there when you need me, baby boy?”_

 

_“Yes.” Gon allowed a smile on his face to reappear. He pointed at it cheesily, “Look how happy you make me, Killua! You make me so happy!”_

 

_“Good.” He hummed. The more he searches for words the more he unravels that’s all he can say. Because there is STILL something missing from Gon’s smile. There is some unexplored explanation for this….he doesn’t know._

 

_Not even in his dreams can he know: the secret behind Gon’s bright smile._

 

_Gon would smile no matter what._

 

_He needed that smile...so therefore, “You’re mine.” He concluded again._

 

_He ALWAYS took without thinking twice._

 

_He licked his lips, eyeballing Gon's cock head. He lowered his head, then used his hand to squeeze the juices into his mouth. Gon’s eyes seemed to roll to the back of his head. The reaction gave him the fuzzy joy of knowing he was making Gon do these things._

 

_Mine._

 

_My reactions._

 

_MINE._

 

_“I’m yours.” Gon whined from the rough treatment. He began canting his hips down onto the other teen’s pelvis. His tone caked with greed, "B-Break me..." Roughly, he gripped pale biceps._

 

_"Don't let anyone else touch you, Gon..." His voice became hoarse. He swallowed, drinking down more of his beloved. "If they do, I'll kill them."_

 

_"Okay..." Gon breathed out weakly. Half- lidded brown eyes watched him pull away. Helplessly, he felt a sudden emptiness from loss of contact. The poor boy whined because of it, "Mmff, Killua~!" He complained rubbing his black hair against the taller male's chest. He chanted like the sound of sweet chirping birds, "Killua...Killua..Killua!"_

 

_"Hold on, baby boy." He pushed the small male back lightly, as he began to stand. There was a bit of confusion encasing him again. A rumbling sensation in his soul, that was steadily being comforted but also separated him from the current event._

 

_He looked so lost, so vacant, a shell of himself._

 

_Gon smiled at him stupidly._

 

_Notnownotnownotnow..._

 

_“You’re fine.” Gon hummed to him, almost as if singing. His naked body tangled in the sheets, desperately clawing, pawing and humping against anything to please his erection. “You’re safe at home with me.” He spread his legs, to show off his entrance. “You’d be even safer inside me.” Squirming slightly, he moaned, "Killua," into pillows._

 

_Gon was an awkward strangely beautiful mess. One, that he could barely tear his eyes off. One, that he knew would be safe inside._

 

_His curly white hair fell placidly as he returned back into focus. "You wanna?" He questioned, fumbling with his belt buckles. "Suck me off?"_

 

_"Yes!" Gon tugged at his zipper with his teeth._

 

_"Can you suck it good enough that it won’t hurt going in?" He challenged watching how Gon was nodding excitedly, dropping his pants to the floor._

 

_"I’ll try!" Gon peppered out, licking lips at the sight of him pulling his large manhood out._

 

_He groaned, his cock throbbing angrily. He felt like might burst at the sight of Gon, on his hands and knees like that. "Open." He commanded, in awe of the slobbery warm heat ready to engulf him._

 

_Without procrastination Gon closed his eyes, leaning in to slurp on the head. His tongue circled around the circumference before tracing downwards, all his spit coaxing the object to grow._

 

_He pulled his boyfriend's head up and down, purring with satisfaction as his dick got sucked like a straw. "Ahhh, feels mmm~this..." He babbled as Gon licked over another vein._

 

_If Gon wasn't so enchanted in his work, he might have made an effort to respond to him. But seeing his boyfriend freak out like this, was much too interesting. Carefully, noting every moment or squirm he did and moved his mouth to match. He randomly placed butterfly kisses all over his cock._

 

_He loved it._

 

_"Baby boy...that's really hot." He meowed with delight, as his boyfriend deep-throated him._

 

_“Hmmp!” Gon flinched as the taste of precum hit his tongue. Killua tasted like really salty vanilla ice cream. He moved his head slightly, continuing to wrap him in pleasure._

 

_"Oh... Gosh…” He grinned down at Gon, “Your mouth is so hot and tight wonder if it's good as being in your ass." His grip tightened as he watched Gon’s mouth fill up to the max with his essence. A bit of it leaking past Gon's juicy lips._

 

_There was a glint of pride tanning Gon’s pink rosy puffy cheeks. His hazel brown eyes looked at his boyfriend innocently in daze, slightly confused about what to do with the substance in his mouth._

 

_He pulled his cock out Gon’s mouth with a pop. Then quickly exchanged it, for another way to enter Gon. His nails dug a bit of blood from meaty thighs as they spread to allow his penis to slip into action._

 

_Gon choked on the cum in his mouth, as a massive dick penetrated his ass. “Aahh!” The small body jerked in surprise from the heavy object entering without warning._

 

_The sudden explosive reaction prompted another one. "Aoi!" He pouted aggressively sweet. "Gon! Don't cough, you'll make all of my cum leak out! Drink it, good Jesus!"_

 

_Gon was looking at him in horror that seemed to read; 'You did not just say Jesus name while fucking my ass.' His brown eyes drifted to glance at the object connecting them._

 

_He glanced down as well. Amazed at the sight, he wrapped his arms around the trembling body below him. He sighed shakily. "I just... That was all especially for you, you know...? It formed cause of your cuteness..." The wave of calm in his voice shattered, "Sometimes I feel like you don't appreciate my gifts..."_

 

_Frantically, Gon started to gulp down the wonderland of flavor. When it was all gone he huffed out, "I-I...I like your gifts Killua! I really~ really do!”_

 

_Upon hearing those words, he froze up again. Sadness clouding his features, he held tighter to Gon. Afraid to look anywhere but at their connection and afraid to let go of his lover._

 

_“You can move now, Killua.” Gon encouraged, as tears pricked the side of his glossy eyes. He showed off his empty cavern. “I drank you all up, see?”_

 

_“Doesn’t this hurt?” He demanded to know. There was blood coming out from the sides, as he shifted testingly._

 

_“Yeah.”_

 

_“Don’t you want to scream?”_

 

_“No.” Gon moved his legs to wrap around him. He took his hands up to press his face into his chest. “It’s okay, Killua. It’s like you said...you’re the only one who can love me properly.” A loving kiss was placed on his head. “I’m the only one who can handle you like this. So give all your woes to me.”_

 

_Dontcrydontcrydontcrydont…_

 

_He hugged Gon tightly. Grinding his cock around the edges of Gon’s ass, his ears ate up all the cries below him. Blood spilled on the sheets, and it hurt so much to move. But he knew Gon wasn’t crying because it hurt. Gon was crying because tears from him fell on his pretty blush covered face._

 

_A crinkle in his eyes. A quiver in the lips. His brow furrowed ever so slightly. There’s a blink, making a fat tear swell up in one eye, and on the next blink, spills down his cheek. Off his cheek onto Gon’s contorted in pain face, below him. Gon screeched as his body rocked helplessly to the movement of the creaking bed._

 

_He snapped his hips, beating inside of his home sweet home. Fucking away his sorrows, forcing his inner turmoil on the lovely human._

 

_Ithurtsithurtsit…_

 

_“Welcome home, Killua!” Gon manged to choke out, “You should feel so good now.” The size of the cock rawing his hole made him scream._

 

“I know…” Killua murmured to himself, banging his head on the tile. “I know. I know. I’m sorry.” He took a sharp breath, taking in the humidity in the air.

 

All this heat must have been spurring on his stupid dreams. Dreams were just a collective group of knowledge lingering in the subconscious.

 

But the more he focused on his dream, the more he comprehended it was a spur on from last night. He meant what he said to Gon about the “ _Death from drowning in thickness_ ” thing, if he died or got hurt because of Gon...it wouldn’t matter. He felt at home with him.

 

Which was why him loving Gon was so scary….but then again: ‘ _What was another betrayal?’_ Either way, Killua would be content.

 

Stealing a look down at the white mess coating his hand, he felt a funny feeling in his stomach. He huskily uttered, “Gon…” his vision started to get foggy as he held his soiled hand up to be cleaned by the water. “I have a date with Gon, today.”

 

He stood in the shower for about 5 minutes longer, calmly allowing the clean water to rinse away all the dirt from his body. The water was like his baptism, as he stood there, scheming what needed to be done.

 

* * *

 

Killua left out of the bathroom. He walked down the halls of his house. “Alluka! Kalluto!” His blue eyes searching for where his little siblings has scurried off to. “Hello?”

 

“Here!” Alluka shouted back.

 

Killua followed the sound of her voice into their living room. The girl had her feet kicked up on the sofa, watching TV, she was shoving popcorn in her mouth. Beside her was Kalluto, the little boy obviously struggling to find someone else to cling to. He was curled up in a ball, mumbling, “We can’t stay here… we can’t stay in this house with h-”

 

“Hey!” Killua pointed at him, “Watch your mouth. I’m doing you a favor. So stop being such a mommy's boy. She purposely poisoned our food, why would always kiss up to her for that?"

 

"So she could have maybe…I don't KNOW? STOP POISONING MY FOOD SPECIFICALLY!?"

 

"DO YOU REALLY, THINK THAT WOULD HAPPEN?"

 

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?"

 

"BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH! SHE NEVER DID CARE! YOU TRIED OVER AND OVER, ONLY TO RECEIVE THE SAME RESULTS."

 

Kalluto didn't answer to that at first, so he just looked down at his feet numbly. He didn't disagree too much with what Killua said. He just pressed his lips together almost challenging, "And you can show me someone who cares?"

 

"Well you've already met him." Killua bragged a bit as he snatched up Alluka's and Kalluto's hands. "But you'll see him again soon."

 

Kalluto’s face expression hardened.

 

"Don’t be like that!" Killua’s lighting blue eyes glowed studying the both of them. "My sweet siblings. You are the first ones who I will lead towards Gon and I's new world salvation."

 

Kalluto’s head perked up at the sound of his older brother’s voice. His worry-some mood fading in replacement with rage, “What?! How is that in the pla-“

 

“It’s just a slight detour!” Killua interjected. He walked over to his little brother, glaring down at him. “The plan is still in motion.” A few zaps of electricity came from his palms signalling, ‘ _Don’t question me or you might be meeting Jesus next.’_

 

The younger boy swallowed dryly, turning away from his brother. He didn’t have the balls to look him in the eye and say, “ _I don’t want to be apart of this anymore.”_ Instead he put his sweaty hands together, holding them like he was in prayer.

 

“Besides, you’ll both thank me later!” Killua cackled, feverishly running his fingers through his white locks. “I mean if I wouldn’t have done….” He left out the word, ‘ _murder_ ’ substituting, “What needed to be done.” His shifty eyes fell on Alluka. Throwing an arm on her shoulder he bragged, “You know, you’d still be locked in your room.” Then he looked at Kalluto hastily, “And you would still be a weakling clinging to that monster’s leg.”

 

Kalluto’s body stiffened at the remark, his eyes starting to water. “It’s not forever. Your wish only last for a week.”

 

“All I need is a week.” Killua confirmed. His lips drew back in a snarl, “Plus you shouldn’t feel _bad_ for them.” He leaned over closer taking his spare hand, he strummed Kalluto’s hair like harp strings. “Do you wanna know what I wished for?” Blue eyes flashing dastardly, as he titled his head to get a good view of the fear on his little brother’s face. Huskily he spoke barely above a whisper, “Huh, lil lamb?” He smirked eerily, “Do you wanna know what your genius big brother wished?”

 

Kalluto recoiled in terror. Face contorting in absolute fear as he froze up, surprised at Killua’s sudden reaction. His heart dropped to his stomach pulling on his nerves, that made him let out a sob.

 

A cold soft hand stroked Killua’s face, “Neeh..” Alluka’s voice got caught in her throat, “You..you should calm down.”

 

Pushing her hands away Killua pulled her closer to him, “You should hear it, too!” He shouted upwards, voice booming as it echoed off the large ceiling. “YOU BOTH NEED TO HEAR IT!” He hugged them close, a sibling on his right and left side. He clenched his arms around them, to prevent any squirming or running away as he whisked out words of their salvation. “I wished, for Zoldyck's ill intent for another, to do done to themselves.”

 

“You mean?”

 

“I killed them before...they could kill us.”

 

There was silence that swept over the house for a second. The 3 siblings just staring at each other. Killua still feeling awfully proud of himself for doing such a thing. He moved his hand to ruffle his sibling’s hair. Two forced smiles appeared on their faces, as they pretend Killua’s wish was the best thing that ever happened to them.

 

Killua hummed happily, “So be thankful, my little lambs. I’m going to get Gon.” He paused, deciding to rephrase it. “I’m going to get a missing piece of our family.” Standing up, a bright light show of electricity danced around his body. “Don’t leave the house.”

 

* * *

 

There was an overcast in the sky today, hiding the sun away from the humans below. It put Gon in a gloomy mood, he was attached to seeing the flaming hot ball of light. It lit up his day metaphorically and literally. Having it around made it easier to read comics, but now he had to strain his eyes to see the little text bubbles.

 

“Oh shit..” He grouched. He felt like his eyes were on fire, from just trying to finish off on single page. His eyelid steadily twitching, as he struggled to read, ‘ _If he burst the jar full of marble He’ll get any wish he wants! He might might wish to bring his father, back to life… Snap out of it!’_ He blinked rapidly tearing his eyes from the page, “Shit!” He hissed feeling his eyes water.

 

Deciding to give them a break, his brown eyes gazed at a stubborn piece of grass growing through the sidewalk cracks. It bothered him. Grass should _not_ grow between sidewalk cracks. Yet it did anyway, relentless it grew despite the bad conditions to prove it could make it and survive in the world.

 

“Just like me…” Gon murmured, he slumped back on the bench. He’d been waiting outside the school for at least 20 minutes now. He figured it was no big deal, it gave him time to read his comics.

 

“Gon, are you talking to yourself again?”

 

The boy whipped his head around black hair slapping the sides of his face. He hooted, “Kurapika!”

 

A little wave was given by the senior. They weren’t really close friends. Gon wasn’t ‘ _allowed to have friends_.’ He only knew Kurapika because he’d interviewed him once for the school paper, about the limits of the human mind.

 

“Hey, I was just leaving after putting the finishes and touches of the next issue of the school paper.”

 

“Cool! Are you gonna publish our interview?”

 

“I wouldn’t let that valuable information go to waste. Plus, what you told me about what happened to Palm is too good not to publish.”

 

“Ah, it happened a long time ago…” Gon jutted his chin, in confidence. “It felt good getting it off my chest. I just really hope people, believe me. I..” His head drooped as his eyes darted side to side, “I’ve been thinking I’ve lost my marbles lately.”

 

Kurapika screwed up his face, “How so?”

 

Gon sucked on the inside of his cheeks, making a smooching sound. “Like that.” It was the best way he could describe it.

 

“You love yourself?” The older boy guessed, based off the sound. His expression proved how in disarray he was over the whole thing.

 

“Yes. And maybe no….” Gon sighed lightly. He was trying to put this in the best way that didn’t make him seem like a crazy person. “Ya know, Killua? Well for so long I thought he was a figment of my imagination. But yesterday, I saw him and his siblings!”

 

Kurapika still didn't put the pieces together, “In your mind?”

 

“Get this...” Gon threw up his hands at the absurdly. “He asked me out! My own imagination asking me out! And I recall kissing him before too! Then he even almost...we shared some intima-” Lowering his hands, he clenched them tightly around his comic book. “I’m supposed to meet him here, for a date.” The papers wrinkled up under his fist.

 

Kurapika squinted in a furtive manner as he thought. He tapped his chin explaining, “Well you could just be narcissistic. A person who loves themselves so much. In that case, you’ve reached the conclusion the only person good enough to love you is yourself, so you created Killua as an outlet to pour your feelings.”

 

“That...makes sense I guess?” Gon gave a lackluster smile, feigning cheerfulness.

 

“Good. Now that we know you’re not waiting for anyone,” The blonde tucked his hair behind his ear, making his earrings bounce. A daunting eyebrow raised, “Care for a ride home? It’s not good to wait out here alone in what you’re wearing.”

 

“What I’m wearing?” Gon looked down at his outfit: A white tank top (reading: **_Hi! Bi!_** ), shorts, and combat boots. "The way I dress shouldn't affect other people. It's not my fault I look, like this!" He screwed up an eyebrow as wind blew in his long black hair. “I got dress coded already! I spent all day in ISS. But...these were my only clean clothes left.” He complained, "It's so not fair! I think everyone is freaking trippin. People trip so hard now n days." A grunt escaped his lips, "I really hate it ya know. People who assumed you do something or act so way for attention. That's not even the fucking case."

 

"Gon," Kurapika hummed, "I get it. You want to look cute for Killua. But you're not fucking asking for...." Giving him a distressed look, he shook his head. "Fuck those assholes. Fuck 'em."

 

"They do fuck em." Gon gave an eye roll, "Then they get powerful, rich, appointed to supreme court, or elected president." His eyes went wide, "Oh..oh and people who defend them, till their last dying breath. Ya know, just perks of being rich."

 

"Hehe..." Kurapika laughed, "Don't worry, some day your time will come."

 

"To be a rich asshole? You can cut me out of that!" Gon stood up, pounding on his chest. "I'm gonna be a superhero! I want to stand up for what's right! Drive those stupid assholes away from here! I'm gonna protect people."

 

"I believe in you." Kurapika approved, giving a thumbs up.

 

In the middle of shrugging his shoulders, a pulsing feeling ran through Gon’s bones. It made him shiver, as a possessive voice rang out in his head, “ _Mine._ ”

 

Kurapika gave a half-smile, “Are you good?” He seemed slightly concerned as he crept closer to Gon.

 

The color drained out of his face, as he saw how Gon began to shake his head. The boy begged, “Just j-just! Just STAY BACK!”

 

His gray pupils shrank as he grimaced, “Do..I need to get the nurse? It looks like you’re gonna have a seizure!”

 

“I’m fine!” Gon lied, sagging against the bench. He was so used to going into a fit like this, he just accepted it. This too would pass and he would remain stubborn and strong like the damn stupid grass growing between sidewalk cracks!

 

Despite being told not to, Kurapika rushed to his aid. The blonde too sweet to let anything bad happen. He put his hand on Gon’s shoulder for a quick second only to feel such an extreme rush of voltage, he yelped.

 

Two pale fingers grabbed Kurapika’s wrist steadily, holding his arm away from Gon. “He told you, to stay back.”

 

“Killua…?” Gon’s began heart galloping with anxiety.

 

The white haired boy didn’t answer, he just crushed Kurapika’s wrist a little harder, “You should really respect people’s request.” With a grunt he pushed the blonde away.

 

Kurapika stumbled backwards, his book bag on his back getting him off balanced. There was uneasiness in his eyes as he gawked at Gon. “T-that’s Killua?”

 

Gon’s jaw slacked down as he dropped his comic book on the ground. “YOU CAN SEE HIM?” He hollered at the top of his lungs. He didn’t know if he should feel relieved or completely horrified. A rush of thoughts flooded his mind, ‘ _Good news! You’re not crazy!’_

 

“Yes, can I see him.” Kurapika barked, slightly embarrassed. “You said Killua was imaginary!”

 

“He is!” Gon ensured.

 

“Who’s that?” Kurapika pointed at the tall blue eyed boy.

 

Gon pointed in Kurapika's same direction, referring to the boy beside him. “Killua!”

 

The 16 year old looked between the both of them. Clenching his jaw at the sight of Kurapika, he made sparks of lightning fly. “Is this peasant bothering you, love?”

 

Gon saw the lightning, parade all up Killua’s arm. It was there for a few brief seconds, then it seemed to flicker. Why was that happening? Was it there? Was it not there?

 

Confused, Gon reached out to graze the skin on Killua’s arm.

 

Nothing happened. No shock.

 

‘ _Of course nothing happened, it’s the light show. Killua does that light show._ ’ His sanity told him.

 

“I just, always thought Killua was imaginary because he can do this weird light show. It’s like he has powers or something.” Gon laughed, he hugged himself closer to Killua’s arm. Hands feeling his toned muscles, as he searched desperately for some switch to turn the blue lights off.

 

Irritated, Kurapika’s lips pursed like he’d been chewing a lemon rind. “What weird light show?” He motioned over to the bike that had pulled up in front of the school. “Killua pulled up on that motorcycle and ran to your aid when he saw you freaking out. There are no lights.”

 

With each word that passed out Kurapika’s mouth, Gon’s eyes grew wider until they were the size of saucers. “No..No..way.” He stumbled over his own words in disbelief, “There was no one over there, Kurapika. That’s why you offered me a ride home, remember?”

 

The blonde shook his head. The pain of seeing Kurapika lie to face made Gon’s head spin. Gon was too young to understand that people would lie to make themselves feel sane. The human brain often denied what was happening, giving logical explanations for the impossible. His breathing sped up as his brown eyes casted downward, at his legs going limp. He felt weightless. So weightless he could just float away.

 

The wind blew his comic pages, having them flip to a random one reading, ‘ _Parallel good and evil.. Theory: Evil can only exist when there is good. In order to balance this out, the universe has set boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. And hu-’_ before Gon could finish it, Killua picked him up.

 

Killua pressed a kiss on Gon’s cheeks. "Let's ride, baby boy. We’re going to get something to eat."

 

"Baby boy? Where did that nickname come from anyway?" Gon tilted his head to the side completely clueless as his black hair jiggled, his brown eyes shined up at Killua.

 

"Yeah," Killua nodded, "I gave you the nickname, because when we met at 8, you were a baby goody-two shoes trying to worry about me."

 

Gon didn’t know how to feel about this. "Why was I worried? Is it because..." He bashfully cut his eyes to the side trying to recall any more of their encounters. So far their relationship was still on the rocks for him. He didn’t need Killua getting attached because of the past.

 

Things change, people change, everything with life experiences growth.

 

"Because you're cute, like that.” Killua said, placing Gon on the seat of the motorcycle, “And it fits you." He climbed on the seat himself, placing his hands on the bars.

 

“Hold on!” Gon squeaked, “Do you have any helmets? Isn’t it illegal to ride without them?” His hands wrapping around Killua’s waist frantically.

 

“Yeah! But I like the danger!” Killua replied, having to yell over the roar of the motorcycle engine. “So you better hold on tight!”

 

Gon held on for dear life, as Killua sped out of the school parking lot. The sensation of riding a motorcycle was thrilling. The wind through his long black hair, the feel of Killua’s abs as he laughed, the quick way everything seemed to pass by in a blur.

 

But a single question plagued Gon’s mind, ‘ _Other people...can see Killua?’_

 


	8. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter in the whole book. My fav one to re-write. (〃￣ω￣〃)ゞ Hope everyone enjoys it as much as I do!

There must be certain qualifications, that allowed someone to notice him. Well at least, that is the idea Gon drew a conclusion to, as the waitress placed _one_ menu on the table. Automatically, he looked at the waiter then at Killua.

 

Killua rested his chin in his palm and looked thoughtfully, almost eagerly awaiting his reaction.

 

Gon licked his lips, testingly.

 

A little nod was given by Killua, as if permitting Gon to carry on his little experiment.

 

The human gave the waitress a light smile, “Mame,” he said in the sweetest way possible, “Do you have another menu?”

 

“Oh, sure.” The puzzled look on her face said it all: _‘I know this is a two person table. But you’re sitting all by yourself._ ’ Nevertheless, she gave a nod and headed to get another menu.

 

Brown eyes narrowed at blue ones. Killua waved off the challenge, with a simple eye roll. “She’s nuts.” He stated.

 

“You’re making me look nuts.” Gon hissed. “This is like the plot line of a cartoon or in my comic books!” He picked up the menu and stared at it, trying to ignore the affection Killua was showing him. “Why are you randomly appearing and disappearing? Why can I still see you?”

 

Killua didn’t have a response to that. He just flashed his teeth, changing the subject. “You’re looking at the menu like you really like the food here. Can you tell, I’m not an eater?”

 

Gon didn’t know how to take that comment. He wasn’t offended, as much as annoyed. Granted his body type varied differently from Killua’s. The boy sitting across from him was lanky, ripped and had an overly decent amount of upper body strength. But despite Killua’s monstrous strength, he always looked sickly. Each time Gon saw him, his face was sorta sunk in or he had bags under his eyes. Even the crooked grin on his face, was more a desperate cry for ‘ _help_ ’ rather than charming. In comparison, Gon was short, a little pudgy, and could easily bench press 127 pounds. He was healthy.

 

“You should eat more.” Gon argued, “Not even I like all food. For example, school lunch.” He gave a little nod. “That’s the only food, I don’t eat.”

 

“That’s no good then. You just came from school.” Reaching across the table, Killua snatched the menu from Gon. “I’ll have to find you something good to eat then!”

 

“Wait! Wait!” Gon choked on his pleas. There was something horrific about having someone choose the food about to go in his stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut , “What about you? Don’t you wanna try something?” He had no clue what he was saying all he knew was that he wanted out of this arrangement.

 

“Not really.” Killua reached into his pocket to pull out a chocolate bar. “You see this? It’s all I like to eat.”

 

“What are you?” Gon uttered, halfway freaking out.

 

“Your boyfriend.” Killua’s fluffy white hair bounced as he broke off a piece of chocolate and held it out for Gon. “Here. You can have it, since you haven’t eaten in so long.”

 

“No way!” Gon snatched the whole entire bar from him. “You need to eat something healthy! How are you still living if all you eat is chocolate?!”

 

“I eat _other_ stuff.” Killua pushed down a shutter, as he recalled how his mom used to poison dinner. The memories of throwing up, catching a burning fever and staying bed ridden for days, still haunted him. He had spent nights screaming in agony as the poison did it’s dangerous bidding on his insides. Gradually all this torment grew into him, avoiding eating too much all together. It was like a defense mechanism; in case he did eat poison, eating less would make the side-effects hurt less.

 

Gon grabbed Killua’s wrist. “You’re kidding me, right?” He took two fingers and wrapped them around easily. “Look how skinny you are. My pointer finger and thumb wrap around you.” Holding out his own arm, he compared them. “My arm is double yours.”

 

“I just love chocolate.” Killua uttered lowly. He had no desire to unload his problems upon Gon. Besides, not like it would make any difference. A sneer crossed his lips, “I thought you took the hint about that when I ate the chocolate cake out yo-“

 

“KILLUA, SHUT UP!” The long haired male pounded on the table. “If you ever tell anyone about that, I'll do worst than flip you like before. I'll bust you in your mother fucking lips!"

 

"Awe." Killua said dreamily. He blinked his endearing blue orbs, as he swooned over his boyfriend. "With your lips?"

 

Gon raised his fist up threateningly, "WITH. MY. FUCKING. FIS-"

 

“Excuse, me....” The waitress came over to place another menu down, “Here’s your request.”

 

Gon took a sharp breath, reading the woman’s uneasy expression. She just caught him having a conversation with himself…. _twice._ A brewing smile ran away from Gon’s face, “Thank you?”

 

She gave a smile back, “My pleasure.”

 

‘ _Oh_ ’ He thought after hearing her. She was one of those chicks who used to work at Chick-fil-A, so she was used to seeing crazy fucks like Gon. That was good. That was very good.

 

“How about a drink?” She clicked her pen on the notepad. Wrinkles appeared under her eyes as she gave him a funny glance, “Wait, what happened to the first menu I brought over here?”

 

“Umm..” Gon figured, “ _My boyfriend touched it...and everything he touches dies,_ ” was not the best answer to give.

 

“Get an extra large milkshake.” Killua suggested. He pointed his finger on the menu, reading the dessert section. “They look good.”

 

Gon cut his eyes, “ _You can’t eat it._ ”

 

“Then you’re just gonna have to eat enough for the both of us.” Killua urged, rubbing his hand on Gon’s thighs. “Get Fudge Brownie."

 

At the unexpected electrifying touch, Gon jumped, feet sliding his chair as far away from the table as possible. “HELL NO!” He blurted, a terrified look coming over his face. He tugged on the strands on his hair about to tear them out, “You...”

 

The waitress took a few uncertain steps away from him. “Sir?”

 

A frazzled expression sparked on Gon’s face, “I…” He took a deep breath, becoming apologetic. “I’m sorry. I would like a Pepsi and….” He slowly scooted back to the table, eyes meeting Killua’s. “A triple stack hamburger, combo. Also a Frisco melt….just the sandwich.”

 

The lady nervously scribbled down the order. She gave a little nod and seemed thankful to hustle away.

 

When Gon ensured she was out of sight, he reached over and punched the fuck out of Killua. He slugged him in the arm, _hard._

 

A growl erupted from the taller boy, “Damn it! What’s your problem?”

 

“Next time you touch me like that, I will _hurt_ you.”

 

“Okay. Gosh, you weren’t like this before.”

 

“We weren’t in public before.”

 

“Oh!” A light blush came on Killua’s face, “I won’t!” He shook his head innocently, “I DON’T want to have people hear your lewd moans! Those are only for me!”

 

Gon’s face scrunched up. He didn’t understand what Killua’s issues were. The boy was really confusing to him. Maybe that was why Gon had to learn more about him…. especially if Killua was just a part of him. Yet amidst all his strange comments, there was a little boyish innocents that came out in moments like this.

 

“Alright, Let’s make a deal then.” Gon proposed.

 

Killua gave him a sweet tender look, “Hmm?”

 

“You eat all the food, I bought you….” Gon slapped his hands on his thighs, the skin jiggling. “And you can have all my thighs your heart desires.”

 

“Y-you bought food for me?” Killua sounded verbally shocked as if his brain couldn’t connect the dots someone had done something nice for him.

 

“Yes.” Gon said, a bright smile coming on his face. “You’re so skinny, Killua! I’m gonna fatten you up!” He tucked some of his long black hair behind his ear, as he jutted his chin up in confidence. “That’s why you like touching me, right? You like what I have that you don’t.”

 

Killua felt his face heating up as he stared at Gon’s lovely smile. The endearing way he gave a nod as his hazel orbs burned passionately. It made Killua’s heart throb. Unconsciously, he babbled, “You..really di-di...didn’t have to do that. Didn’t you hear what I sa-“

 

“I’ll take care of it.” Gon confirmed. “But you have to keep your hands off me, until you finish your meal.”

 

Killua was awestruck— _Gon was so nice._ He was nice on the inside just like on the outside. An actual angel.

 

The waiter returned with a nervous look on her face as if she was expecting another outburst. She placed down the drink and food on the table. “Here, ya go…”

 

All the eyes in the restaurant fell on them, as if expecting more free comedy.

 

Gon shrugged nonchalantly at the few people watching, “I..I must have forgot to take my medicine today.” He apologized to the waitress, “Sorry.”

 

The woman gave a nod, “No problem, hun.” There was fakeness in her tone.

 

Gon ignored it. He plastered a phony smile on his lips and shrugged. There were a few mumbles in the restaurant but other than that people went back to their own business.

 

“Fake fucks.” Killua growled, “You want me to ki-“

 

“No.” Gon snapped, pushing the combo meal in Killua’s direction. “Sit.” He motioned to the food, “Eat.”

 

“Mmmp!” Killua puckered his lips, making a pouty face. “Can I get a kiss first?”

 

Gon slapped his thigh meat again, “Focus. Focus, on the prize, Killua!”

 

“Aaargg!” Killua reached for a handful of fries and shoved the salty hot grease in his mouth. “For the thighs!” He started stuffing his face.

 

Gon chuckled, there was something cute in the aggressive way Killua was stuffing his face. “Hehe, you know if you eat too fast you’ll get hiccups.” He brought his Frisco melt to his lips. “Eat like this.” He took his time, munching on his hamburger.

 

Killua’s eyes widened. The way his cheeks were loaded with food and half a fry hanging out his mouth, made him look like a wild raccoon caught in the act of eating trash.

 

Gon couldn’t hold back laughter, “Hahaha!” He coughed loudly, “Oh! Oh goooossh!” Wheezing, he struggled to take a sip of his drink. “What the heck, Killua?”

 

With a mouthful of food, the tall boy babbled, “What?” He gaze at Gon with big sky blue eyes. “Aren’t I doing it right?”

 

Gon almost choked. He tossed his head back and slapped his knee. “Haha! Haha! Oh, you’re tripping for real!”

 

Automatically, Killua’s face turned red like the tomato hanging out his mouth. “What’s so funny?” He demanded, “You laughing at me?”

 

“Not at _you._ ” Tan hands waved, brushing off the comment. “At what you’re doing!” Gon sipped his drink. Then he bit into his burger. “You act like a raccoon.”

 

“I DO NOT!”

 

“HAHA, YOU EAT FUNNY!”

 

Killua gulped down his food, then crossed his arms. “Fine. I won’t eat anymore.”

 

The short boy took a third bite of his hamburger. “No…” Gon complained, swallowing to take another bite, “I was joking. You can eat however you wa-“

 

“I don’t want to!” Killua barked. He rubbed his stomach, “I’m full anyway.”

 

“You only took one bite of the burger.”

 

“It’s a triple stack!”

 

“Oh, I didn’t get you a drink.” Gon offered out his Pepsi. “Drink it down.”

 

Killua took a few sips of the soda. He couldn’t help but be allured by Gon’s charms. Maybe he could do this... _maybe if he just pushed past his limits._ The sugary soda splashed around his mouth, cooling his taste buds from the onslaught of food with a delicious liquid.

 

“Come, on…” Gon flashed him another smile. “Cheer up and take a bite Killua.” He ate more of his burger, as encouragement. Loudly, he munched, “Mawaha! Mawaha! Munnummm! Unmmaah!”

 

“Stop treating me like I’m a kid!” Killua complained, he sucked on his tongue. He savored the flavors of onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and mayo. It _was_ a delightful mix. He smacked his lips together. “I..it taste fine. I just....”

 

Gon frowned, swallowing his food. He reached over to steal some of Killua’s french fries. Sticking the salty potatoes in his mouth, he hummed in dissatisfaction. “Believe in yourself!” He looked the other boy up and down. “You could manage to eat half.”

 

Killua groaned. He rubbed his stomach harder, “I’m gonna feel so sick.”

 

“Awe,” A wave of compassion washed over Gon, as he pulled Killua’s plate to the center of the table. “But look, I’m helping you reach your goal.” He shoved more of Killua’s fries in his mouth. “See, you’re so close.”

 

“What if I burst?” Killua winced, as Gon waved fries in his face.

 

“Do it for me!” Gon whispered softly. He took the final bite of his hamburger. In order to make his boyfriend feel better, he shoved his cheeks full, mirroring his previous actions earlier. When he spoke crumbs tumbled down his chin, “Eat it for me!”

 

Killua sighed and used his napkin to wipe Gon’s face. “Don’t do that…” He pulled the straw from his mouth and put it in Gon’s. “Didn’t you say it can give you hiccups?”

 

“Yeah.” Gon sucked down more soda.

 

“So stop.” Killua commaded, letting go of the glass. He slumped in his seat. “I’m going to take one big bite.” Automatically, Gon’s face lit up with joy. He narrowed his gaze enchantingly, “But... you have to close your eyes.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Just do it!”

 

“But _why?_ ”

 

“I don’t want you snickering at me.”

 

“I won’t laugh!” Gon insisted. He raised an eyebrow slightly, “You know I won’t… unless you’re trying to do some weird shit and make the food disappear.”

 

“Heh?” A guilty expression came on Killua’s face. He shifted his eyes to the side. “Wha-what? Eh? Me…!?” He sputtered.

 

“Killua!” Gon sighed, “Fine. If that’s how you’re gonna be…”

 

Killua’s face lit up, “I can do it?”

 

“NO!” Gon stood up, “I’m leaving!”

 

Disbelief flashed on Killua’s face, “What?” He could hardly believe his ears. They’ve come so far. Everything was happy. _Now Gon was going to throw this all away…!?_ He grabbed his arm complaining, “Gon! You’re on this date with me! You have to stay u-!”

 

“That’s it.” Gon pointed at Killua, ‘ _You, me, NOW.’_ He grabbed his backpack and rushed over towards the restroom. 

 

Upon entry, he wrinkled his nose at the smell of pee. He cursed, “I fucking hate public bathrooms!”

 

Killua shrugged his shoulders, “We didn’t have to come in.” He laughed to himself, “You just got mad because you ca-.”

 

“You hush your mouth!” Gon snapped, yanking Killua by the hoodie harshly. He dragged the tall boy into a bathroom stall. A pissy expression on his face as he closed the stall behind them. “You’re crazy! You do mean, weird stuff that can’t be ex-”

 

His rant was silenced by a single digit pressed on his lips. "Honestly, what's wrong with cheating, Gon?" Killua pointed out, eyes soft and seductive. "You are _dating_ a bad boy… you shouldn't be panicked or worried. I’m just trying to show you a good time. Plus we haven't even done something, THAT BAD."

 

"No! But.." Gon felt lost for words as Killua gazed down at him, plain faced without even a drop of guilt. The taller boy looked so damn hot without even trying, it should be illegal. Feeling his confidence start to shred, he struggled to speak. "The stuff you do it’s WRONG!"

 

“Specify.”

 

“You’re breaking laws of nature! It’s...”

 

Teasing the short boy, Killua pulled away. He yanked him backwards forcefully making Gon stumble in his arms. “Evil?”

 

“I mean, yeah sure! Guess you can say that, it’s evil!” The black haired male grabbed Killua by the collar. "I hate evil!" Gon grit his teeth, "Good is sweet and gets lots of praise! So DO THE RIGHT THING! EVEN WHEN YOU THINK NO ONE IS WATCHING!"

 

For a good few minutes neither one speaks. Not one word. All the words are in their eyes. For silence speaks, loud and clear, all the words they don't want to hear. Their emotions spun around in their heads as their motions of skin pressed on skin gave a steady buzz.

 

"Y-you hate evil?" Killua sputtered out, like a broken faucet. Killua might not have been the brightest star in the sky, but he was smart enough to put two facts together. If Gon thought he was evil, he'd drop him faster than a sack of hot potatoes. Quickly, he cleared his throat, adverting Gon's eyes, he shoved his blood money deeper in his pocket. "I...I hate evil too." He choked out shakily, "I hate people who are totally ignorant and use dirty tricks to get through life. Money can't buy happiness, ya know.." Uncertainly, he whispered, "It can't buy you..."

 

“It’s not about happiness.” Gon clarified. He cleared his throat loudly, “I enjoy being kind to others. Not making them feel uncomfortable because I’m acting like a crazy person due to your nonsense! I’m giving you a damn chance to eat to act n-!”

 

"But there has to be an exception right?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"I mean, what if you have to do evil to be good? For example, people who have abused you for years and in order to get free, you have to kill them." Killua felt like slapping himself for a few seconds. Why the heck did he just expose himself to Gon? Why didn't he have tape over his mouth, instead of running it. He gave a nervous smile, "Completely hypothetical. It is.. ya know..?"

 

"Self defense is different! That is not evil!" Gon barked, "Evil is when you torment people, like jack up health insurance premiums!" The confidence drained from his face, as his mind caught up with the fact saying that might not have been the best option. Unloading one of the issues of why your mom died was not the best thing to say during a first date. Gon gave a nervous smile, "That is also.. completely hypothetical... ya know..?" He rolled his eyes, "I should have said evil is like a school shooter or some lunatic with a gun, everyone can agree that is evil. Hatred can also be evil."

 

"Of course, and killing people should be only for dire situations..." Killua conceded, trying to play the innocent victim card. "So...It's, if and then. If we get caught, then we kill em." Killua stated clearly without batting an eyelash. “I mean we’re a team. There is no you in team.” Forcefully, Killua pressed his body on Gon's, to see a shy reaction from the shorter boy's face. His blue eyes twinkled with delight as his ears strained to hear any sound that meekly slipped out of Gon's lips, every little moan and groan.

 

Gon's back was pressed against the cool plastic stall door. The expression on his face confused but determined. Killua gently ran his fingers down Gon's sides, tracing a path to the slight curve of his hips.

 

Gon bashfully whimpered, "Killua, what..are you doi-ah?" The last part was a slight moan out of pure surprise as Killua rubbed over his clothed nips.

 

"There you go, baby boy." Killua coaxed him, sliding his fingers under Gon's shirt, his pale skin making direct contact with Gon's buds. Seeing his boyfriend collapse into such touches, made his heart pound with enjoyment. The edge of his nails scratching along the surface of Gon’s skin in a random circular motion. "Just calm down, everything will be okay, don't sweat it."

 

Each cold off branded touch made Gon's skin crawl. “No. There is no ‘ _we_.’ Don’t throw me..in..your mess. I’m...” Unconsciously, he bucked his hips up against Killua. He leaned into the motions that were advancing all over his body. It made his brain go fuzzy with pleasure. “Ah..I’m…” He almost forgot what he was complaining about, "Ki..iilua?" Gon moaned breathlessly, "We're~mmm.." He felt Killua peel at his skin.

 

Killua pressed his lips against Gon's neck, "My mess? I finesse for _you_." He hissed out the last part bittersweet. He planted a row of juicy possessive kisses up Gon's neck, slightly digging his teeth to tease sensitive skin.

 

Gon tensed up, trying hard not to cave into seduction. He jerked his clothed member upwards, humping against his boyfriend. "You can't _fucking_ do that!" The friction felt good. “You..can’t! You’ve been invading my mind, and thoughts!”

 

"Haha..But you'll let me _fucking_ do you." Killua let out a dry laugh, his heart racing with amusement. The rush of the pressure in the air, the way Gon squirmed in his iron grip, especially the way he racked his teeth against his boyfriend's neck: _it all felt good._ Hot, quick, sexy and dangerous. The heat in his stomach was eased by Gon's soft groans that filled the air—like music to Killua's ears.

 

“Are umm…” Gon’s face went crimson as a flood of emotions engulfed him. “My thighs!” He rubbed them, against Killua’s hard. The smell of them, filled the air along with their heavy groans.

 

“Fuck.” Biting down roughly, Killua dug his teeth in Gon's neck. He had to mark what was _his_. He sucked on the peach flesh, as his hands drifted to rub Gon’s stomach. Then skillfully fingers dipped, running around the waistband of the boy’s boxers. He groaned, “Baby boy, I...I do.”

 

Gon winced, feeling sharp canines slicing through his skin like a knife does bread. He fought to hold down a yelp as he angrily hissed, "OUCH!"

 

"Yeah it hurts..." Killua snapped abruptly. "That how I feel when you deny my existence. I can change your life Gon, I can show you the truth, instead of this human world you live in! That smiling sunshine on your lips will only get you so far...I can _HELP_ YOU. I CAN SET YOU FREE." The white haired male was rambling a bit, but it was true. Gon was lovely boy: inside and out. Gon was a piece of art and beauty.

 

But somewhere along the timeline, Gon had lost his way. He forgot about Killua and what they meant to each other.

 

"What are you saying?" Gon howled. The side of his neck burning as he groaned lowly, completely melting to Killua's touch. Each motion drew them closer. His brain felt like cotton, as lust fogged his brown eye. His pretty pink lips parted to produce more sounds.

 

Killua's expression became dark as he licked his lips, pulling away from the neck he'd been attacking to lean in closer to Gon's ear. "I’m marking you. So you _feel_ my real pain. That’s what I’m saying." His gaze focused on the canvas where he carved his DNA. He reached down to fumble with his pants, “Now, I’m going to thigh fuck you. So you can _feel_ my cock throbbing full of my desire for you.”

 

At the sound of a zipper coming down, Gon’s heart sped up in panic. He could feel Killua’s hot breath against his skin, his skinny body pressed against him.

 

“Killua…” Gon choked, as Killua’s hot pulsing flesh nudged his thighs. It made his knees buckle as he wobbled, struggling to keep his composure.

 

The tall boy, homed in on him. “Sweetheart, I can’t keep this to myself, when it was made for you.” Killua’s voice hit drop dead sexy, “Don’t you want to feel it?” His blue eyes flickered animalistically, “Feel the dick that was made to fuck only _your ass_.”

 

“Ah..Aahhhh..YES!” Gon’s eyes went wide, as he saw Killua’s dick eagerly awaiting permission to slip between him. “This...I. Yes!” He suddenly felt like he was being drowned underwater. Ideas rushed past his brain yet none of them he could comprehend.

 

Killua slipped his dick in between Gon’s thick thighs. He whistled pleasantly. “Oooh.” He had to take it all in. This was the closest thing he’d be to Gon’s ass for a while. “Good, boy.”  He planted a smooch on Gon’s forehead. “Just squeeze those delicious thighs together a bit more.”

 

Gon obeyed, crushing Killua’s dick between his thickness. Killua groaned louder in pleasure, sending a bunch of little lightning bolts off his body. The dangerous electricity almost gave Gon a heart attack. He whispered  out, "What the heck? Normal people can't disappear or conduct electricity like that without being killed. You always do it no sweat, I watch you." An unsure expression twitched on his lips as his lustful brown eyes marveled up at his boyfriend. The tall boy still had his fingers carelessly moving down his sides, they pinched the skin roughly.

 

“So what?” Killua began to thrust himself in and out from between Gon’s hips. Purposely, he made more sparks fly around them. “This is pretty, isn’t it?” His hands squeezed both of Gon’s ass cheeks like a stress relief ball. “It’s pretty, just like how you look under me.”

 

“Ahh! _Fuck_!”

 

“Oh crap, you like _that_?”

 

“Yaaa..aahh!”

 

“You like, me fucking your thighs and fondling your plump ass?” He sneered dirty, in Gon’s ear. “At the same _damn_ time?” He snapped his hips harder, making more cries come from Gon’s mouth. Gon was squeezing his hips so tight, Killua didn’t even fully pull out. He dragged his manhood just under the hem of Gon’s booty shorts, occasionally groping an ass cheek.

 

Gon rubbed the hot dick between his thighs. He hissed out, “Y-yeeeeeeesssss..” His brown eyes blown as he stole a sharp breath of air. “You’re almost like a rea-aaauummnhaa!” He found himself getting tongue tied as imagined how full Killua would make him feel when he _really_ put it in.

 

 _Fuck_. Killua was like a sex God.

 

For what seemed like hours, they groaned as their bodies bumped with each other. They just stared at each other, brown eyes questioning blue as they seemed to take in the view.

 

Killua swallowed dryly. His hunched poster making a vibrant forced chuckle, "Don't tell me, you're accusing me of being one of your comic book fantasy superheroes?" His eyes darkened dangerously as he licked Gon's drool covered lips. His tongue briefly contacting their smooth surface just enough to watch the short boy gasp shakily. Killua pressed his dick fully into Gon’s thighs, enjoying their shared body heat. "You should know damn well, superheroes in real life don't exist."

 

Gon wrinkled his eyebrows. He pretended those harsh words didn't affect him. But to hear someone trash talk, superheroes...a concept he had been obsessing over for years, really made his blood boil. He yelled an explosive, “Well they do! They have to!" He roughly halted Killua’s thrusting. "It’s the only reasonable explanation!"

 

Soon as caramel smooth skin was free of the positive hold, Gon heared Killua growl lowly. “The fuck do you think, you’re doing?”

 

“I’m…!” Gon felt new found confidence spark in him. “I’m standing up for what I believe in!” He slammed his thighs back, making Killua jump.

 

“D-daaamn..” Killua said shakily, his tone was borderline awestruck. “You can have a temper…!” He threw his head back, as Gon started to ride his hips on his dick. “Ahh..I..like..” Looking down, he watched the pre-cum splash on Gon’s caramel thighs. The milky white substance standing out, as it lubricated for even more movement. Killua howled contently, “I think, I like a lot.” His stomach was coiling up, in preparation for release.

 

“Hehe...” Gon grit his teeth, as he felt Killua reach in his boxers.

 

Killua circled his slender fingers around Gon’s tight virgin hole. Teasingly, he thumbing over Gon’s entrance, as his other hand groped his left ass cheek. The sensation sent Gon into a frenzy, he started to buckle his hips untimely.

 

Killua scolded him, “No.. No..” He sank his sharp nails in Gon’s flesh drawing a bit of blood from his relentless determination to hold him in place. “My dick needs to feel _you._ Don’t move your thighs so erratically.” He slipped his member back in the warmth.

 

A whimper came from Gon, then a low aggressive bittersweet sound. “I’ll do what I want till I get a proper explanation.”

 

The white haired male narrowed his icy blue eyes, shooting daggers of rage. His voice dropped to a raspy tone, "Hey, sweetheart.. Long ago, you didn’t need an explanation." There was a ton of peer pressure in those words. "You freely cared about me, Gon. You said that you _would listen to me_. You said you’d kindle my feelings! You SAID friends _don't_ hurt each other, they support each other."

 

"Yes…maybe I did." Gon croaked out a tad bit nervously. “But I don’t recall.” Suddenly, he regretted his words, as his ass went numb. The blood oozing from it dripping down his thighs, as it mixed with the pre-cum. “Yet I..” He swallowed numbly, “I believe you, Killua.”

 

Killua grit his teeth together, trying to contain his anger. Yet as the words slowly sunk in his brain, his expression lightened up. "You do?"

 

A bead of sweat ran down Gon's face as his thoughts ran into a wall that read, ' _dead end there is no longer a valid answer._ ' Slowly, it came around to a small understanding confession. "Yeah, it seems like something I would say. Plus, I’ve been seeing you since I was younger." His eyebrows raised with compassion, “You would know a lot about me, Killua.”

 

His aunt’s voice about ‘ _everlasting love_ ’ rang in his ears. This was Gon’s chance to fully comprehend what it was like...how the effects of loving someone for so long could affect one's mentality. Plus Killua had to love him, right? No one tracked someone down after years, using supernatural abilities, if they weren’t head over heels for them.

 

"I do." A slight smile curled on Killua's lips, it was almost warming. "I know you better than anyone else! I- I-...I’m cum.. on...Gon!” He gasped, shooting his load all over Gon’s inner thighs and letting it all drip down toward his taint. His eyes were screwed shut and his mouth was hung open as he struggled to catch his breath. Killua whimpered lowly, rubbing his face against his long silky black hair. “Shh..” He hushed the boy freaking out about the wetness between his legs. Happily, he delivered a sweet kiss to his mouth. “I wanted to be with you more than anything."

 

A happiness fluttered in his soul, as Killua thought about he could use Gon to his advantage. If he had Gon, he would no longer have to use his powers so sparingly, he could go all out— allowing himself to finally carry on the rest of his plan.

 

_Killing his family temporarily was not enough. He needed to kill them, permanently._

 

"It's all good, then.." Gon squeaked a sigh of relief. He mustered up a hopeful smile, “You have me now.” Killua rubbed his hole, sparking his release. The boy jerked back, smashing his ass against Killua's pelvis. He cringed feeling his boxers get soaked. All he could do was close his eyes and take it, especially when Killua teasingly wiggled a finger in his hole. A scream tore out him, “AAAaACCk!” He shook at the unexpected penetration.

 

“D..dang,” Killua quickly withdrew the single finger, “If all I had to do was put fingers in your ass.”

 

“Stop it! Don’t you ever say that!” Gon cringed, he pushed away from the bigger boy. He took a deep breath trying to collect himself,  “I will have meme flashbacks.”

 

“Haha!” A light laugh slipped out Killua’s lips, as he shoved his dick back in his pants. He marveled at his hot mess. _Oh gosh….The poor boy would need a shower._ “Are you talking about that stupid meme song that goes: Fingers in his ass, fingers in his ass Ka-”

 

The smile on Gon’s face grew, “GET OUT!” He shoved Killua out the stall door. “GET OOOOOOUUTTTTT!” He laughed loudly, as the Killua broke out in a fit of giggles.

 

Killua was giggling, because he mostly wanted to focus on hearing Gon’s laughter. Gon laughed so sweetly, it matched with his cheerful expression. That was the Gon he loved and wanted to protect. _THAT SMILE._ That damn drop dead gorgeous smile was everything. Everything Killua wanted plus more.

 

The tall boy stumbled into the counter tops with the sinks. A truly happy smile on his lips as he saw Gon getting in front of him. The short boy didn’t seem ready to hit him as hard as he was before. He simply gave Killua a slug in the arm. It made the white haired boy howl, “Oh, baby, baby..” Tossing his head back, he grabbed Gon’s hand. He hummed, “Where did our love go? Oh, don't you leave me. Don't you leave me no more.”

 

“Soft cell. Nice, choice...” Gon complimented, poking a finger at Killua’s blush covered cheek. He leaned forward, slipping his hand on top of Killua’s. He finshed off more of the song, “I've got this burning, yearning yearning feeling inside me.” He drew closer to press a light kiss on him, “Oh, deep inside me…..” Lowly, he moaned in his mouth, “And it hurts so bad..”

 

Killua felt a chill run down his spine, “You came into my life, so tenderly.” He nuzzled their noses together. “With a burning love.” He titled his tongue to run over the roof of Gon’s mouth, as the smaller boy pulled him into a feathery, yet sticky dough like hug.

 

Gon cut off their song, his voice getting heavy with emotion. “Listen, Killua. There’s no one in this world who really achieves anything by themselves.” Gently, he gave another kiss on the top of Killua’s nose. “Long as you need me...” A volt of power surged in Killua as his boyfriend declared boldly, “I’ll be here.”

 

A watery feeling built up in Killua’s eyelids. Which was really weird because his parents had always told him, his tear ducts were removed. So what was happening? Was he so happy, he was about to cry? How could he cry? He sniffled, putting his arms around Gon. He gave him a loving squeeze. This feeling in his heart, the buzz in his mind….every sensation in his body.

 

“Killua, you have water in your eyes.” Gon hummed, wiping them away. “There you go.” He smiled brightly. “There’s my tough guy!”

 

A toothless smile peppered Killua’s face, “I am your tough guy! I swear, I won’t ever let anyone hurt you, Gon.” His blue eyes gleamed maliciously, ready to pass the brink of insanity. “So I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get you to come back home.”

 

“Home? What if I don’t wa-“ Gon’s words were cut off by a kiss. Killua’s tongue licking his own, as he held him close.

 

“Oh baby boy, that wasn't a fucking choice." Killua chuckled darkly. His eyebrows raised full of passion and dedication. A low rumble carved in greed came, as he pressed his nose in the crook of Gon’s neck. "We are going to be happy together until we die."


	9. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jumping up on bleachers in the darkness and tearing down police tape* Yo, I just wanna come in and sit. I swEAr I'm NOT tRying To GET any hopeful ideas about the dark continent arc.
> 
> Disclaimer: ❤Gon is Bi. Killua is Pansexual. They are happily GAY and in love. ❤ But I don't own HxH so it's not cannon.

Mistakes were so commonly made, people assumed it to be a mix up in their mind. They apologize for it.

 

Decent people always apologize.

 

But sometimes mix-ups and mistakes can be costly. Blame gets thrown when a mistake is deadly. When the hammer comes down, too quickly people point the finger to rat out...well _another rat._

 

What possess people to do such actions? To throw someone under the bus to make up for their own shortcomings?

 

“Fear of the future.” Gon mumbled, looking at his homework. Dressed in his pajamas, he laid on his bed. Perplexed brown eyes stared at a piece of paper riddled with problems. _Math_ problems. “I fear a future where calculus actually becomes needed in people’s everyday lives.”

 

His mind wondered as he stared at the page, problems seemed to dance in the air almost taunting his mind to solve them. Gon had too many problems already the main one being: _Killua_. He did not need math to stress him out more.

 

“If you keep thinking so hard, your hair will go gray before you’re 40.” A raspy voice said.

 

Gon’s brown eyes flickered up from his paper—the sight of the tall scraggly looking man, brought a little smile to his face.

 

“Easy for you to say Ging! You know you hide your gray hair behind that wrap-a-cap you wear on your head!” Gon accused, playfully.

 

Ging‘s lips curled upwards cunningly, “Hey, watch your goddamn mouth. I gave you that mouth, and I’ll beat it off you.” He strolled right into Gon’s room, standing by his wall covered in Superhero posters. His dark tired eyes shifted around a bit observing the different action figures resting on his son’s night stand.

 

It grew quite between them. But it was a comfortable silence. There was always this lack of formality between them.

 

“Well…” Gon sat up. A bunch of his superheroes plushies shifted as they covered his pillow. “Are you going to help me?”

 

“If I knew how to do math, I wouldn’t have dropped out of high school to work at Walmart.” Ging laughed dryly, rubbing at his hair stubble.

 

He always rubbed at that stupid hair stubble on his face, that would never grow. It was constantly done when he couldn’t comprehend the best way to go about a situation. Which signaled to Gon, that he was about to get thrown some heavy crap in his direction.

 

Crap that was finally triggered by Ging getting the balls to ask, “So Mito told me you went on your first date earlier.”

 

“Oh…” Gon bit his lip. He considered all the different directions this conversation could go. “I did.” Glancing at the scars still on his hand and wrist he muttered, “They…. _It_ was interesting.”

 

“Interesting how? Like for a guy interesting? Or interesting _interestingly_?” Ging emphasized like there was some unknown difference.

 

“Killua!” Gon automatically corrected, “Killua is interesting!”

 

“ _Only_ Killua?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Any normal father would give a decent amount of follow up lectures about “ _Using protection even when having sex with a guy,_ ” or “ _Even if you’re half gay, I still support you, son._ ”

 

But no, Gon didn’t have a normal father. He had Ging. Therefore, he did not get normal lectures.

 

Ging said, “Is he interesting because he’s a supernatural freak?” There was this unreal gleam in his eyes as they flickered up and down. A stern look on his face as he muttered, “It’s important that you check for these things Gon, before you agree to date anyone.”

 

Opening up his mouth to try and make a claim, Gon was silenced immediately.

 

Ging went into a rant, “It’s crazy! The stuff they can do.” He began to pace around the room. “Impeccable power too. Yet such power can only be achieved by a trigger.” He paused skeptical, then motioned to Gon’s book shelf. “Have you been reading the comics I gave you? Some of that stuff is real. There are _creatures_ like that who live among us.”

 

“Creatures?”

 

“Ah, I don’t mean the good ones like Superman. He’s a _good_ alien. A rare kind.”

 

“Yes, but a hero. Every good hero needs an evil-”

 

“Supervillain.”

 

Gon’s heart fluttered nervously in his chest. He tried to remain emotionless as he stared at Ging, hoping that the man didn’t sense his anxiety. His hands fumbled the pen in his hand, the object rolling over the carpet to Ging’s feet.

 

The older man picked it up, then waved it around as if stabbing the freaks themselves. “It took me years to ensure that your mother wasn’t one of them. I couldn’t be too sure, ya know? I was petrified the whole time.” He clicked the top, getting rid of the pen point. “But ya know how I figured out the truth?”

 

It was rare that Ging ever dropped some knowledge to Gon about his mother. It intrigued him immediately. Gon’s eyebrow raised slightly, “How?”

 

“It’s a common misconception, you have to shoot a creature of the dark’s heart. You do in a sense, shoot it’s heart. But heart is only a symbolism for love. In order to kill it, you must kill the one it loves the most. Shoot a bullet through the creature’s _lover’s_ heart.” Ging informed his son. “You see supernatural creatures are hard to kill because their life force exist within their lover.”

 

Gon stared at him blankly. Sometimes Ging’s rambles went way too far off topic.

 

“It’s the same energy!” Ging declared, “These other worldly creatures find a innocent human and prey on them. Creating weird events…They finesse time and reality. Ya know like the comic fiend and friend, switch some letters and there’s an entirely new meaning.”

 

Gon cut his eyes to the side, trying to maintain a serious tight lip. He didn’t plan to throw shade at his dad. But somehow his words slipped out, “You don’t even have proof these things exist! All you do is believe crazy conspiracy theories and try to make them seem rea-“

 

“What other explanation is there? Action promotes reaction! And since energy is never created or destroyed it just bounces around between us and _them_.”

 

“Ughh! There is no us and them! Superheroes fight for freedom and justice! So don’t compare or drag them into your creepy conspiracy theories!”

 

The ends of Ging’s lips twitched downwards, as if slightly dissatisfied Gon rebuked his life’s work. His forehead puckered as he held out the pen for Gon to take back. “Sorry.” He apologized, “I just...You’re my son, Gon. I love you. I don’t want you to get mixed up in the wrong crowd.”

 

Gon snatched the pen back. His mind thinking about what Killua said earlier, challenging the existence of superheroes. Maybe Gon was just as crazy as Ging for believe in them—or just as wild as his mom for dedicating her life to a crazy man. He felt like the perfect mix of both his parents.

 

“Since they plague us all. Me, you, Mito...they choose who they’re gonna obsess about at a young age then ensnare them to ta-“

 

“Take home.” Gon concluded for him, recalling Killua’s previous statement he made.

 

Ging gave his son a surprised look, his frown flipping upside down. “You _have_ been reading the book I gave you!” He rubbed Gon’s head affectionately, “That’s my boy.”

 

Gon nodded wide eyed and appreciative of the acknowledgement. He was smiling ear to ear, as he pulled at the sheets below him. “Comics are much more entertaining.”

 

Ging laughed loudly, withdrawing his hand, he began to walk out the room. Just as he reached the door he paused, a look of recollection coming on his face. He turned back around to face Gon. “Oh yeah! Your Aunt told me to come in here, because I was supposed to give you a man to man talk or some deep shit.” Shrugging his shoulders carelessly, he asked, “You’re not sexually active are you?”

 

Gon’s right eye twitched, automatically. That was the type of question doctors were supposed to ask..... not his damn dad! His face squeezed up briefly as he shouted an annoyed, “DADDY!” It has been years since he called Ging that, it only came out when he was agitated. “What makes you thi-” He paused looking down at his turtleneck nightshirt. _Well yes, the fact he was hiding his neck was suspect..._ But if he let them see the ‘ _love’_ bites/marks Killua left, Gon knew he’d never hear the end of it. Innocently, he rephrased his statement, not lying but simply not admitting to anything. “Please don’t go into that, it’ll make things weird. I’ve seen and learned everything off YouTube and Sex Ed class in school!”

 

Ging grinned, “Good, makes my job easier.” He walked out the door giving a little wave, “See you at dinner, Gon.” He stopped again, poking his head back in. “Also if you see anything else interesting tell me. I’m itching to kill one of those unholy bastards.”

 

‘ _Kill’_ the word made Gon tense up. Ging wanted to _kill_ one. And by kill he meant…

 

“Hehe.” A broken laugh came from Gon, “Sure. I’ll be careful and watch out.”

 

Ging gave a nod and finally cleared out. He was shouting something to Mito but Gon couldn’t make it out. His mind was spinning right now, currently _he_ was on the verge of discovery.

 

And Killua was the key.

 

Trying to iron out his math work, Gon sighed. He really just dodged a bullet right there...but _still_ Ging gave some very helpful information.

 

If Killua had big hopes, dreams and plans to make a magical disaster to basically wipe out life as Gon knew it.....Then that needed to be stopped.

 

Gon figured if he tried hard enough, he could flip Killua to the side of light.

 

“I’ll have to test it out.” Gon mumbled, “It would be wrong to treat Killua like a freak, if I’m just being brainwashed by Ging. Plus, Killua’s my boyfriend.” He rubbed his thumbs over the wrinkles on his paper. “Killua Zoldyck is my boyfriend.” The declaration came more confidently, almost a bit happy.

 

Killua was _hot._

 

And for what Killua lacked with his kind personality, Gon was sure he could correct.

 

Gon hummed to himself, “I’ll make him into a superhero.” He began doodling on his homework. “My own hero.”

 

Gon was a firm believer that there was good in everyone, and it could be found with them just digging a little deeper and finding the truth out. Killua was just one of those people who needed to dig a little deeper than others to find the good within himself. At least Gon believed: _He could save Killua._

 

* * *

 

“I’m Gon’s supervillain.” Killua hummed to himself. Blood dripped from pale fingers as his nails elongated, they were raised in the air only to hammer into flesh. Kissing the edges they sliced cleanly through a neck, demolishing all screams for help. “Villains are sorta like heroes, but more deadly.”

 

“If I believe you’re doing the right thing then are you really a villain, big brother?” Alluka asked inquisitively. Her blue eyes gleaming at the blood show beneath her feet. “You said we’re doing this for our family.”

 

“That’s right.” Killua praised. Once more his mood constantly shifted, with the winds. “Where is the last one?” The killer demanded, blue eyes illuminating as he looked at his siblings.

 

Kalluto guiltily pointed at the girl freaking out in the corner. “She’s the last of Milluki’s online friends.”

 

“Guess it’s the only way to ensure, Milluki stays dead. I mean, he had to have loved one of these losers.” A twisted look of satisfaction was painted on Killua’s face, at the sight of the helpless woman.

 

“What?” The lady looked almost revolted, turning away from him.

 

“Would it be asking too much…” Killua slowly started shaking, becoming full of excitement and joy. A sly crack in his tone as he questioned, “To die for me? Would you...would you please die?”

 

“NO! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!” The girl immediately tried to move only to be held back by Alluka.

 

Alluka murmured, “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry. But I can’t go back to being held locked up in my room again.”

 

“What..what the HELL!?” She shouted, “Where did you people even come from!? How did I get here!” She tried to kick the smaller girl away. “Let me go!”

 

“Why are you running away?” Reaching in his pocket, Killua calmly strolled over. His white hair blowing in the wind as he towered over her. “I ASKED IF YOU WOULD PLEASE DIE FOR ME." He leaned over to meet her in the eye. His teeth gleamed from the moonlight, "Why...would you reject such a sweet offer?”

 

The smile on Killua's face was almost toxic, it seemed to be deadly without a drop of true happiness in it. The girl felt her legs quake at the sight, her head spun to search for a way to escape, eyes darting around as a raw scream escaped her lips.

 

“I’m just trying to be nice. Like Gon said, be good by doing the right thing.” Killua's mood shifted, his smile dropping immediately. “Alluka, Kalluto." He snapped his fingers, "Shall we show this naive fool, how we run our _family_ business.”

 

Alluka pulled out a rope, using it to tie up their victim’s hands. Then Kalluto put a blindfold around her eyes.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? GET THAT THE HELL OFF OF M-” She tried to squirm in her seat.

 

Killua quickly punched her in the mouth a stern look coming on his face. “Shut up.” A new wave of grim coming over him. She was a hostage. He would causing her suffering---and when he let it all out....... _her_ death, it made a pleasant shiver run down his spine.

 

Her mouth hung down lopsided as red blood started to form out of a busted lip. She screamed louder, “LET ME GO! LET ME GOOO! SOMEONE HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP!”

 

“Yeah...real smart, calling out for help, nobody can see us here.” Killua rolled his eyes, “Hehe, that’s what my parents told me.” He thumbed around the swelling of her jaw. The gentle motion done as he reflected on the past, “They said, you should study Killua. Brooding gets you nowhere, Killua. They locked me up like a hostage. They wanted to USE ME. They never respected me! NO ONE BUT GON EVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT WHAT I WANTED!” He mercilessly punched her again, blue eyes were shimmering with interest to see her reaction.

 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL!?”

 

“YOU JUST CANNOT TAKE A HINT! DO YOU?” Killua chuckled as he pressed his sharp nails to her neck, lightly slicing through the peach flesh. “You think it’s fair, you get to live a nice life...while there are kids like me out there suffering!? HUH?!”

 

A bit of blood began dripping out.

 

This was good, This was the highlight of his hunt,

 

 _THE KILL_.

 

The girl began crying, her body shook with pain as tears rolled down her cheek. “No...! I have no clue w-wwwwhaaaat.… Aaahh--I..I wanna live.”

 

"Well too bad, you were made to suffer...." Killua said, spitefully cracking his knuckles. He reached in his pocket pulling out his blade. "Just killing you wouldn't be much fun. I want you to be the first to experience, Gon’s new method of evil…. _oooooh_!” His body erupted in a storm of electricity. “I mean, self defense. He taught me!"

  
  
"Why...? W-why are you doing this....?" The woman asked her voice was raspy and weak.

  
  
"Why?" Killua let out a high pitched..... _laugh….? No, that wasn't a laugh it was a prideful cackle to the heavens about victory in his sight_. Swirling the sharp knife in his hands he said, "Simply, because your death is written in my plan....to have someone resist...ITS SICK."

  
  
"SICK? Have you looked at yourself?!" The girl demanded, shaking in her spot. She cried out, "YOU'RE A SELFISH FREAK! THAT IS ATTACKING ME FOR NO GOOD REASON!" Angrily, she snapped her teeth at him, ready to fight for survival.

 

The unfashionable action made Killua jolt back. Kalluto darted his eyes over to watch him. The 10 year old whispered, "If you're going to kill her. Give her a reason at least."

 

Killua’s cackling died down as he relaxed, not wanting the lady to lose her mind yet. His smirk shrunk into a thin straight line, "I have to kill my family, so I can be with Gon. Gon and I are gonna take care of Alluka and Kalluto and be a _real_ family." He dropped his head, wild white hair covering up his insane sky blue eyes. He declared firmly, "I won't tolerate anyone else being with him."

  
  
The girl let out a frightened uneasy chuckle. Then she forced out a cruel sneer of, "What a foolish brat you are." A smug look crawled on her face as she slowly accepted fate, "I don’t even know who Gon is. But I do know this, even if you kill me, it won't change a thing. No one could love a monster like you."

  
  
"Yes he will!" Killua screeched, the noise bouncing off all the scenery. He stomped his foot, yanking the girl forward by her long hair. "YES HE WILL! WIPE THAT SMUG LOOK OFF YOUR FACE, YOU FILTHY NASTY BITCH!" His rage made his expression heated as he spat out a harsh slur of curses. "I WON'T LET ANYONE EVER COME BETWEEN GON AND I!"

  
  
"You're just saying that... Cause you’re a pansy fuck ass who can't be strong himself." The blonde said, shaking her head. She mocked him, "A cowardly act. Gon won’t ever love you how you do him."

  
  
Killua growled huskily, before swinging his hand back and slapping the girl harshly, until her gums began to leak out crimson fluid. His eyes flashed, marveling at how the smile was wiped off her face as white teeth flew from her mouth onto the ground. The clattering of teeth sounded like hail beating on a roof, which was amplified by each scream that the girl let past her lips.

  
  
Killua raged, "DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK HIS NAME ON YOUR IMPURE UNHOLY LIPS! I'm Gon’s boyfriend! You wouldn't understand…. no one understands our relationship!"

 

Delivering a mean right hook to her throat, the woman's body jolted on impact, taking a mad bash to her skull made her brain rattle.

  
  
The blood poured from her mouth as her moments became more erratic. Under the dim lighting, her body bounced up and down as her words were reduced to grunts. Killua didn't seem to be showing any mercy as he took out his inner fury, treating her like a punching bag. He screeched, jabbing the knife in her curves, stabbing her over and over again relentlessly. He sliced her wide open, then with his free hand squeezed all the oozing blood out. His dilated sky orbs trembling, as he felt the hot liquid drench his whole entire being.

 

Killua appeared to be in a trance as he whispered lowly, "No one will ever understand, my pain......" Tracing the sharp edged knife up her breasts, easily it cut through her bra. Almost in a crazed way, he blabbered on, “Everyday, I’ve suffered under them. No one came to help me! NO ONE CAME TO SAVE ME! I was beaten and treated like shit! All the while, Gon was my only inspiration. Gon...Gon is such an angel.” More war flashbacks replayed in his mind, driving him to re-enforce his suffering. “I'm always there… I will always come through for Gon!”

 

The girl's screaming became louder, her breathing more rushed, her heart quickly pounding in her chest. Still she wasn't dead, even with the loud ringing in her ears, all the damned heavenly stigma was blazing her full of life. It was terrifying the sweet pain of being alive only to have her now cloudy vision falling on such an evil being.

 

Killua raised the knife to dig a hole in her stomach, as the ruby droplets fell like rain. “But!” He cut his eyes, “Don’t think of me only liking guys.” Twisting his hand downwards, he groped the woman’s breast. A scream tore from her. Blood oozed from her tits, as he laughed maniacally. “If Gon was a female…. I’d love her! I’d fondle her breast like this...fuck her wet pussy, till she was fat and pregnant with my offspring.” He tapped the knife on her chest. “If Gon was non-binary, I’d love them. I’d treat them right. Have em, screaming in ecstasy, while riding my dick.” A satisfied grin spread on his lips, “Because my love for Gon is ethereal and everlasting.”

 

“You’re a real psychopath!”

 

“Not really….I have an obsession with Gon. So...No matter what, I love Gon. Even if we were both females. I’d finger and eat her tight pussy out each night.”

 

“A psychopath who loves sex!”

 

“I’d be able to be happy, with Gon. So happy...I wouldn't have to do this. It's really not my fault.” His blue eyes blazed maliciously with lies as he looked at her. “It's REALLY NOT. IT'S YOURS.”

 

“How is it MINE!?” The woman said breathlessly.

 

“That's it. Don't live. All you crummy humans, don’t have to live. Gon just does.” Killua announced like it was the most simple solution in the world. He was a bit distraught at the sight of the mostly limp body. This had to be the longest anyone had lived for sure. It was disgusting. Why couldn't she go to hell yet? Why wouldn't she leave him? Why didn't anyone understand Gon and Killua just wanted to be left alone in peace?

 

The girl’s face was halfway fried by all the electric charge zapping her. The lightning roasting her flesh, as she screamed louder. 

 

The teen felt absolutely discombobulated as he gripped her burnt hair. “Even this.... This isn’t enough.” He yanked it harshly, sending shivers down her spike. Killua's coldness grew aggressive, "The more you scream, the more I wonder what glorious sounds you'll make once I rip out your heart." He peeled at the burned skin, watching how easily it fell to the bloodstained ground. “Or maybe I should cut out your tear ducts. My parents told me they removed those once. I spent years thinking I couldn’t cry...” He blinked his eyes rapidly, teardrops forming. “But look at this! I started hanging with Gon and I CAN CRY AGAIN! It’s proof our love is God!”

 

”No! They probably never removed them in the first place, and sa-saiid that that sosooooo you wouldn’t be a crybaby.”

 

”But...that’s the point. What type of sick parents would tell that shit to their kid?”

 

"Ones who...who know, You're.... You're.... A monster." She coughed out. Hate striked her voice again, “So....You deserve to have them removed.” Sweat and tears poured down her face and the tainted smell of blood laid heavily in the air. 

  
  
Killua squatted down beside her, reading all her desperate movements. Cruel words came out his mouth, “I’m sure no one will care when you die, I doubt anyone will cry.” His blood stained hair flowed wildly as his wide bloodshot eyes craved to see her shattered and lifeless. He added in, “Unless it's tears of joy.”

  
  
"GO TO HELL!" The girl shouted her face ready to hurt someone. Pissed off, she headbutted the cry baby right in his forehead. She howled, "AND LET ME GO, YOU PSYCHOPATHIC FREAK!"

 

Killua groaned, sniffling at his own pity party. Grief was milking out his uncontrollable emotions, as his head started to throb. A slight smile came on his face as a bit of blood trickled down his forehead. “Where do you think I came from?”

 

For a few seconds, the woman swore she might have actually saw demon horns on top of Killua's head. That was when she finally came to terms she might be dealing with—a crazed maniac. The boy was insane. The blood that splattered on his face and skin proved it, not to mention his uncontrollable attitude was like an unstable atomic bomb.

 

“You are….are..” She felt her lungs beginning to close up. A wave of relief filled her knowing her time had come.

 

“Do what my parents wanted my siblings to.” Killua’s smile brightened up innocently like the sun. "Shut up and die." He stabbed the knife straight through the woman's chest listening to her sputter out her final breaths.

 

Her pupils were blown wide at the sudden shock that after all these years her life was finally over, ended by a low life. Her body started to go numb and limp.

 

Killua cut out her heart, waving the pumping organ in her face. “Thanks for this! Your sacrifice for Gon and I’s happiness will not be in vane." He turned from the dead body to observe the crime scene.

 

 This was not his problem alone...it was reassuring to drag other people in his mess.

 

“Alluka, Kalluto.” Killua cupped the poetic organ in his hand, calmly showing it off. “You guys did really good.” He opened his arms up as if expecting a hug. “I knew you would! Guess my little pep talk really did it for you, huh?”

 

“It was all we could think about…” Kalluto spoke softly. “You really don’t make empty promises about a plan...do you, Killua?” He lifted his head up slightly, boldly looking in cold blue eyes.

 

“Alas! This is only day 2 and a single part of my grand masterpiece.” Killua reaffirmed, “I know what I’m doing. Next on my list, is taking down Illumi’s loved one. Which should be fun, he goes to Gon’s high school. ”

 

Alluka accepted his offer of a hug. “And we’re thankful!” She held tight to him for a second, “Not so much about the killing, but…”

 

Killua gave a sweet kiss on her forehead. “I’m bringing us together. Freeing us from oppression.” He purred against her, “I’m so glad you get it. So you can teleport us home, any time you feel ready.”

 

“What about Gon?” Kalluto said nervously, hoping they weren’t doing this for nothing.

 

“Oh, of course you’re wanting your replacement mommy…” Killua sighed as if reflecting on what a pity it was for Gon not be there with them. He shook his head, “It’s gonna take some more time, lil lamb.” Ruffling Kalluto’s hair, he promised. “He’s not ready yet. But soon.” He ushered Kalluto in a group hug with Alluka. “We’ll be a happy family.”

 


	10. Of comic books and supervillains

There was an urge in most people. An urge that grew as time passed….this urge _to be somebody._ It might just be from the flashiness saw on TV or the allure of Broadway stars. But mostly everyone wants one thing: _money._

 

Life was all about money. The older you grow the more you want...no... _need._ The older you grow the more you need money. An urge blooms into desperateness to obtain money.

 

Money the _so-called-‘root of all evil_.’

 

The way people go about getting money might vary from person to person. Some people go about it legally, other people prefer dirty money. Either way….money is money, right?

 

There is no rat who survived after snitching on somebody’s dough.

 

Which is what made school such a battle ground. Everyone had groups and friends, that divided the shared circle up of who moved the cash.

 

“Ya, know I got you.” The boy pleaded, “Just let me get some Hot Cheetos, bro.”

 

“Nah.” Gon waved his hand off. This dude was really trifling now. “I’m not dealing with none of that tab shit.” He closed up his backpack, locking all his goodies away in his instant stop n shop.

 

“Come on!” He urged, “I know you just sold to her!”

 

The pretty girl with long fake lashes, combed her artificial sharp nails through her long hair. She gave a wink at Gon, then continued talking with her girlfriend at her locker.

 

Gon smirked a bit, “Ya, know how it is.” He swung his backpack on. “No cash, no deal.”

 

“Fine! You act like there ain’t better shit around here! I know the plug got some edibles, this last lick. I ain’t gotta fuck wi-“ A more feminine voice cut the freshman off. She darted her eyes over to look at Gon.

 

“Gon Freecss?” The short woman asked. She had on a badge and name tag: _Counselor._ She had to be some new fresh blood in this old run down sorry excuse for a school.

 

‘ _Oh shit. I’m so fucking busted…’_ Gon gulped in air, ignoring the sweat forming in his palms. He rolled his shoulders attempting to play it cool. “Yes. That’s me.”

 

“I’m Biscuit Krueger.” She offered her hand out to the teen. “I’m your guidance counselor. I was wondering if I could talk to you in my office.”

 

The black haired boy shot the other one a look to scram, and the kid hustled away cursing under his breath.

 

Biscuit waved her lingering hand in the air, as if demanding: ‘ _Fucking shake my hand, kid. I am triple your age. You will show me some goddamn respect.’_

 

“Eh..?” Gon turned his head over to properly observe the short woman. He inspected her up and down, before actually taking her hand. “I’m not sure what you want. Especially from me….”

 

She gave a little nod, “I just wanted to have a little talk.” Her heels made this really obnoxious clicking noise as she headed towards her office a few doors down.

 

Almost in a robotic way, Gon followed behind her. He grit his teeth, resisting accusing, “ _You already said you want to talk. But I don’t know what we’re talking about. I need to know about! I need to prepare myself for what I’m about to discuss because I suck at social interaction.”_

 

Opening up the door to her office, she sat down behind her desk. Gon walked in and sank in the seat in front. He dropped his head in shame. This was the first time he’d actually been called into some administrator’s office.

 

Biscuit gave him a gleeful expression, her slender fingers pointing to some papers laid out on her desk. “Do you know what this is Gon?”

 

Gon didn’t even bother looking up. His ears twitched as the late bell for class rang. _Damn, now he was late for no valid reason._

 

The woman’s expression flickered slightly, “Gon.”

 

The boy kept his focus on the floor. The floor was so filthy, maybe if he got busted for selling in school he could take up a _new_ job. He could offer floor cleaning services. He needed anyway to pay for his comic books.

 

“Gon Freecss! When an adult is talking to you, you answer them!” Biscuit fired out. “I just want to have a decent talk. Don’t make me…”

 

Dark eyebrows furrowed up in discomfort, Gon hated how people did that! They always did that crap. They left their sentences on cliffhangers….like that would grant them more power!

 

“I did it to pay for comic books, okay?” He glanced up timidly, “I just find it really unfair the school has a monopoly on selling junk. I mean, consumerism is already broken so I guess you’re just adding to the toxicity but I only charge a dollar for everything in comparison to your ripoff fo-“

 

“Gon!” The blond haired woman took in a long deep breath, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Her finger pointed rapidly at the papers on her desk. “Just look...look at that. Do you know what it is?”

 

Gon gave her a sideways look, “No.”

 

“These are your Pre-SAT scores.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“You scored a 1460 out of 1600.”

 

Gon glanced down at the paper and blinked rapidly, at where her finger was pointing. He felt a bit of pride swell up in him. A slick grin crawling on his lips, “I did.” There was reassurance behind his voice now that he knew this meeting wasn’t about him getting chewed out.

 

Biscuit’s eyes narrowed almost accusingly, “Which is borderline unheard of for a student who makes C’s and B’s like yourself.” There was an undertone hinting at cheating but she didn’t verbalize it.

 

The boy shrugged, “I studied hard.” He clicked his tongue, sitting up a bit straighter in his seat. “I’m trying to go to college.”

 

“Yes!” The previous accusing way was gone, and the replacement was joy. “Gon! You have the highest score out of all your classmates! You did excellent and I’m sure if you keep up at this pace you might make a perfect score as a senior!” Biscuit pointed at some other numbers on the sheet. “You see this? It’s math. This is the lowest score you made.” She move her finger over, “But you blew reading out of the water!”

 

Gon smiled, “That comes from reading my comic books! I suck at math, but reading is real-“

 

“You don’t suck! You’re just not good.” The woman changed up and started typing on her computer. “There is an official SAT test happening this Saturday.” She clicked a few buttons. “I thought you might be interested,”

 

Gon nodded eagerly to her words.

 

She hit a few more keys, informing him. “But unlike the pre-test, this one isn’t free.”

 

Gon’s smile ran away from his face, “Oh.” _Damn, money._ He shifted a bit in his seat, posture stiffening as he found a new pose. “Do...do you think?” His bottom lips slipped under his front teeth, sucking on it lightly. _College was his chance to make it out of here. It was his chance to get a good job and earn good money to spend his way. So many many good things were gonna come from college._

 

 _“_ Ya know, I only recommend you take it. If you try the real thing you can compare it to the pre-test.” Biscuit picked up the paper, pointing out a few other important marks. “Then when you’re a senior, I think you have a real chance of getting a perfect score!”

 

“A...p-perfect score!?”

 

“Yes, you don’t even have to get all of them right to get a perfect score. Even if your grades aren’t the best, we could still catch the attention of some IVY league schools.”

 

“IVY league!?”

 

The woman chuckled, satisfied at the shock written all over the boy’s face. Nothing pleasured her more in life than seeing kids longing to unleash their full potential. She handed Gon his testing paper, “This is your key to success.”

 

Gon held the paper like it was the winning lottery ticket. He marveled at it, a lopsided grin coming on his face. “Wow.” Was the only word he could come up with. Never would he dared to think someone like him could score so high— _maybe the computer did glitch or cheat for him?_

 

Biscuit typed in more stuff on her computer. “Of course as a councilor, I can only advise you to take the test. I can’t make you do anything.” Her eyes gave an adoring look at Gon, as if insisting, ‘ _I know you’ll make the correct choice.’_

 

That little extra edge made a sick feeling churn in Gon’s gut. His breath hitched, as he slowly backed his chair away from the desk. The room seemed to get hot all of a sudden, must have been due to the pressure weighing on his shoulders.

 

“T-thanks.” He stumbled out, rising to his feet.

 

Once more Biscuit held her hand out for a handshake. This time, Gon gave her a nice firm one.

 

“I already told your teacher you might be late or….” A devious expression flashed on her face. She drummed her fingers on the table, over to a spot full of passes. She whipped one out: ‘ _To the Library.’_ Biscuit encouraged, “Not come at all.”

 

Curiosity, inspired Gon to snag the paper pass. He stuffed the object in his pocket. “Yeah.”

 

“There is a large SAT practice text book in there. You find it and study up.”

 

“Hmm, I guess. No harm in trying.”

 

“Studying for this test, can also significantly help you in other classes.”

 

Gon shrugged and repeated, “I said, no harm in trying.” He turned his back on her, swinging open the office door.

 

Soon as he walked out, he heard snickering. He let out an annoyed sigh, as his brown eyes focused on the floor.

 

“Gon.” The redhead teased.

 

A snort came from his side companion, “Hisoka! Leave the nerd be.” She gave him a slap against the arm.

 

The black haired boy furrowed his brow, attempting to ignore them. He pushed their immature snickers from his mind.

 

“Machi, I’m just trying to be nice and acknowledge our fellow classmates.” Hisoka winked, showing off his charms. “I’m always open to help, _the less_ fortunate.”

 

The pink haired girl, screwed up an eyebrow. “You’re so damn extra.” She crossed her arms, leaning against a locker. Her eyes observing Gon as she silently judged him.

 

All the eyes stalking his every move, made Gon speed up. He kept his head low, as he hurried over to the library. The less eye contact made the better, the less steps he took the better, the less air he had to breath around them THE BETTER.

 

It was easier to stay away rather than confront people.

 

Reaching the library, he walked in despair ridden. He headed straight for the counter.

 

The librarian took note of his entrance right away. She pushed her glasses up on her face. “Can I help you?”

 

Gon felt weird talking at full volume in the quiet space, so he lowered his usual flamboyant tone. “I need to check out an SAT book.”

 

The lady slapped a thick heavy book near the keyboard, “I have one on hold for Gon Freecss.”

 

Gon blinked rapidly. He knew for sure, he never put a book on hold…...which meant it had to be Biscuit. The pressure almost stole the breath from his lungs as it crushed him harder. _She believed in him so much that she held the book for him!?_

 

Numbly, Gon pointed to himself. “That’s me.”

 

The lady behind the counter eyeballed him. She scanned the book to check it out, reading the assigned card holder. “You’re Ging’s son?” There was this new dryness, almost as if it was an accusation rather than a question.

 

Gon gave a numb nod. He could already configure the internal monologue in her brain, ‘ _Oh, this is Ging’s kid. The crazy town conspiracy theorist has a son. He wants to go to college? Poor thing...’_

 

The library lady gave a little doubtful look. Slowly, she handed over the heavy SAT book. Immediately, Gon hugged the book close to his chest. He turned away, prompting the woman to say, “Good luck.” It was hard to dictate if it was sarcasm or actually a wish.

 

Gon didn’t try to think about it much. Stiffly, he gave a little wave off to her. It was a nonverbal, ‘ _Thanks.’_ He walked off, trying to ignore any pitiful hints that were thrown in his direction.

 

He’d be fine. Despite, his teacher accusing him of cheating. Despite, everyone having zero belief in the fact he was _actually_ smart. He would look on the bright side.

 

Taking a seat at a little table away from the counter, he cracked open the book. “Whenever I’m feeling down and out, I think positive!” He pleasantly hummed to himself. A happy buzz filled him, (but he couldn’t be sure the buzz wasn’t coming from the smell of old books.) The silence was comforting and when he blinked, he could feel Killua’s arms around him. He could feel Killua’s breath on his skin—the _sensation_ of peace that washed over him when they climaxed.

 

 _‘Hold on! Why am I thinking of Killua!?_ ’ Gon thought, snapping his eyes open. Now was not the time for him to think of that... _that…_ ‘ _My boyfriend.’_ He darted his eyes around expecting Killua to appear out of thin air.

 

But nothing occurred.

 

“Killua?” Gon whispered.

 

Nothing.

 

A frazzled grunt came from the teen, as he hunched over deciding to pull out pencil and paper. He might as well get started on this book, before he started going even more crazy.

 

* * *

 

Mito was washing dishes when Gon decided to open up about what happened at school. She was lending an ear to hear only bits and parts of Gon’s story.

 

The 16 year old finally concluded with, “And so, I think this is a good opportunity for me. If I can take this test officially, who knows how many doors might open up for me? I really want to get into a college with an outstanding English program.”

 

“Oh, that’s amazing Gon.” Mito chirped, she stole a delightful look at him sitting on the couch. “But-“

 

Gon almost choked on air. _But? Why was there a ‘but?’_ This was not the type of thing you follow up with _BUT_!

 

The woman continued, “-You know that you should really consider a technical school. They can teach you a job in two years.”

 

A perplexed expression flashed on Gon’s face, “Well yeah.”

 

“You can go there cheaper.”

 

 _‘Oh money.’_ Gon felt his heart pounding more aggressively in his chest.

 

His aunt kept on, “When you were born, I made Ging set you aside a college fund. That thing should have a decent amount by now.” There was a warning in her tone, “ _Not IVY League money...but you get it, Gon. WE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU. We considered you and want the best for you.”_

 

Typing some stuff in on his phone, Gon made preparations to plead his case. “I mean, I was running some numbers an-“

 

“Don’t you suck at math, Gon?” Mito granted him a pesky reminder. More undertone, “ _Your numbers mean nothing. You can’t count cost. You don’t know about bills. Just be quiet and listen to an experienced adult.”_

 

Gon lowered his head, eyes narrowing at the brightness of his phone screen. He didn’t even have time to form a proper response before his Aunt blabbed on.

 

“It might have been just a stroke of luck. Either way if you retake this test or do better or worse...or the same. We still support you.” She attempted to be sweet about it. “Ya know? Ging and I, we just care about you, Gon. I’m scared, what might….you…. I agree that a brain is too beautiful to waste but..” Mito kept tripping over her own tongue. It was hard letting her nephew down easy. “The counselors always say that to random smart students. They encourage you because they want nice streaks and stats on their high school.”

 

‘ _I know.’_ Gon couldn’t help but feel persistent. He stood up from the couch. “Remember when I was 8 years old, and you told me, _‘you get a job, and get paid. You can choose how to spend your money_ ’ well, I’ve been thinking about that.” He confessed, “So I want to go to college in hope it will help me earn a job to earn money. Money, _money_...none of this minimum wage garbage that’s impossible to live off!”

 

Mito let out a displeased grunt, “I recall something about, ‘ _my roof, my rules_ ’ and it still applies.”

 

“I have…” Gon reached in his short’s pocket. Digging around he pulled out a wad of cash. He counted aloud before concluding, “10 dollars from selling at school. I can contribute my money to paying for the test and co-“

 

“You’ve been selling in school, Gon!?”

 

“I…that’s not the point!”

 

“That is the point! Don’t ever resort to-“

 

“I HAD TO! NO ONE ELSE WAS GOING TO EVER GIVE ME MONEY! DAMN, I SEE YOU AND GING STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET EVERYDAY! AM I NOT ALLOWED TO WANT BETTER FOR MYSELF, THAN SOME CRAPPY JOB?!”

 

Mito dropped the plate from her hands to the floor. “Gon!” Awestruck, she blabbered out, “When Ging gets home from work, we are going to have a long talk about respect! It’s because Ging never cared to correct this behavior when you were a child that you act like such a brat! How can you expect us to trust you to go to some fancy college and represent us, when you can’t even be respectful here!?”

 

Gon grit his teeth, ignoring her. It always seemed like he never got what he wanted around here. Not on his birthday, not _now._ He headed to his room, “Forget about it! Just forget it! I don’t care!” He lied aloud.

 

In comparison to 8 years ago, it was easier to lie now. It was easy to lie and say, “ _I don’t care.”_ When in reality he cared a hell of a lot.

 

But in his room— _he didn’t have to care._ He looked at the superhero posters decorated around. All the heroes and their smiling faces made him choke on tears.

 

His aunt yelled, “Gon, you’re 16! Grow up! Can’t you see by now, I’ve lived longer. I only want the best for you. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did, and get in tons of student debt….”

 

Gon slammed his room door close. He didn’t want to hear any more excuses. It was like no one could ever be truly proud of him.

 

In fact, the only living thing who ever even cared in the slightest about him and his problems was…

 

“Killua!” Gon whimpered, recalling his boyfriend’s name. There was something about Killua. _How he flocked to his aid._ Simply, a warm feeling would erupt in him. He couldn’t remember but maybe in the past…..Killua was often by his side.

 

Earlier, Gon uncovered that just thinking and talking about Killua didn’t summon him. There was more to it! An unnamed force that also allowed Killua to come to his aid.

 

Softly, Gon whined, burrowing his face in his pillow. No teardrops fell on his bed sheets this time. He wouldn’t cry. He would just silently grieve over nobody being able to understand him. No one would let him decide where he wanted to go or _what_ he wanted.

 

He peeked at his phone. The calculator before him still reading the same amount of money it would cost to attend those IVY League colleges.

 

“But what’s even the point of thinking like that?” Gon grunted, “If I will never be able to take the damn test!” He closed the calculator app and pulled up a web page. He was about to open a new tab to search something that would satisfy his desire.

 

A little desire was ebbed deep within him. It called out in times like these: _Killua’s member wedged between his thighs, Killua’s long deep kisses, Killua’s smell…._

 

Gon shivered in delight. Killua always smelled like _chocolate….._ sweet and salty caramel. It made Gon want Killua to submerge within him.

 

Unconsciously, Gon brought his hand to rest on his stomach. “I wonder how it would feel.” The ends of his lips twitched. “For Killua to be inside me.” His thighs rubbed together recalling the friction that once flew between them. “He’d show up and….”

 

 _What exactly did Killua do?_ He made trouble. A very interesting fun nagging trouble. In his own unique way, he would cheer Gon up.

 

“But...I’m not like attached to him!” Gon blabbered out his own reassurance. “I….I just like how he makes my insides…..me? How I feel.” Words to describe his sudden longing to see Killua now did not exist. It was a mystery. A mysterious craving just like the mysterious way Killua would randomly appear in his life.

 

Gon really wished, he could remember more of their past that Killua held so dear to his heart.

 

A frazzled smile appeared on his face, as he could almost feel strong arms wrapping around him, abs pressing against his back, pelvis smashed against his ass.

 

“Baby boy, you’re really tempting me. What am I supposed to do about you being all fucking needy?”

 

Instantaneously, that desire of fire that burned in Gon’s belly raged. He _heard him_!

 

“Please,” Gon said, a new desperate need laced his tone.

 

“Call my name, sweetheart.”

 

“Bu-“

 

“My name.”

 

“Killua?”

 

“Like you mean it.”

 

“Killua.”

 

A pale hand brushed some of Gon’s long hair from his face. The other hand stroked his body gently, while lips kissed his blush covered cheeks and steadily made their way closer to his mouth. “Now say it like you’re riding me.” He whispered against his skin.

 

Gon felt his head spin. “Killua.” All he could do was helplessly repeat it quietly, because it was so hard to talk with how good his body felt beneath Killua’s strong hands and soft lips.

 

“Nah, Gon.” Killua clicked his tongue in disapproval pulling back. “That ain’t it.”

 

Gon’s bottom lip trembled at the loss of contact. He croaked out, “I...don’t leave!” That declaration came from nowhere. He had no clue why he just said that.

 

Killua hesitated to steadily return to stroking Gon again. This time lightly leaving kisses all over his face. “I’m not gonna go nowhere, baby boy.” He felt Gon’s hands wrap around his neck, and leaned into the smaller boy’s touch. “Sssshhh….I’m right here.”

 

“You didn’t come before.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I needed you and you didn’t come.” Gon was almost crying with how badly he wanted Killua to have his back. He complained, “You come at random inconvenient times!”

 

“I try my best.” Killua coed, he delivered a kiss in Gon’s ear.

 

“It pisses me off!”

 

“Well that’s why you have to come home with me. When you come home, I can always be there for you.”

 

“Is that where you were, when I was at school?”

 

“Yes. But I also had business to take care of.”

 

This was new information to Gon’s ears. He shyly wavered up at Killua’s face. “You have a job?” Gon asked perplexed.

 

“Ah, no.” Killua corrected, “I’m more of a family man.” He cleared his throat. “I would do anything for our family, Gon. And I learned that from _you._ ” His hand squeezed Gon’s sides, as he pulled back to see the delightful expression that riddled his boyfriend’s face.

 

“A-aahh!” Gon let out a gleeful squeal, as Killua started to tickle him.

 

Killua insisted, “Which means, I’ll support you. For us, it doesn’t matter where you go to college, you’ll always just be a few seconds away.” He stopped his antics, reflecting on something for a few seconds. “You’ll live at home, so it doesn’t matter what school you attend.”

 

“R-really!?” Gon gawked. He never heard of such a place that only took you a few seconds away from people. It sounded like something absurd and out of a comic book.

 

“Yes.” Killua chuckled, face going a bit red at Gon’s endearing expression. “I would never lie to you.”

 

“But...but…” Gon sighed, recalling how if he didn’t have the money to take the test, he could be planning for nothing. “Even so...it wouldn’t matter.”

 

“Don’t sa-“

 

“I cannot pay to take the SAT. Right now, I’m just jumping the gun before any real work as been done.”

 

Killua wrinkled his face, “What do you mean?” He let go of the boy. Shifting his weight on the bed, the frame creaked slightly. “I got you.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Go online and buy your testing ticket.”

 

Gon’s brown eyes widened in amazement, as Killua held out his credit card for him to take. “I...I can’t take your money!”

 

Blue eyes narrowed accusingly, “Why not? I’m rich, this is nothing.”

 

“Because it’s…” Gon actually didn’t know a good reason. “It might be fa-“

 

“Don’t you dare say fake like me. We’ve been over this!”

 

“Well does the funds disappear like you do or-“

 

“Gon,” Killua forced the piece of plastic in his hand. “This is a gift to you. You’re my boyfriend.” A sincere smile came on his face. “I’m rooting for your success.”

 

“I...I…” Gon held the card so tightly, his knuckles started to turn white. “I promise, I’ll pay you back, Killua!”

 

The joy on Killua’s face became even more evident, but his eyes grew lustful. He used his strong arms to straddle Gon’s hips, nuzzling his nose in soft black locks. “You don’t want to stay a virgin?” Killua spoke barely above a whisper in Gon’s ear.

 

Gon felt his heart flutter, as skillful fingers clenched around his ass. The fingers were greedy with _want,_ but self control held them back.

 

“Answer me, _baby boy._ ” Killua’s deep throated growl, made Gon shutter against his lanky frame.

 

“You...you’re loyal, Killua?” Gon didn’t really need the confirmation, he was just stalling to allow his mind to catch up with the need coursing through his body.

 

The response came without hesitation, “Yes.” Killua lightened up his tone. Compassion blazed in his sky blue eyes, as he lifted up Gon’s chin to allow coffee brown orbs to meet them. “But are _you_ ready to become a mom? Being a mommy isn’t something to joke about, Gon. You’ll have little ones depending on you.”

 

A blank look stole away all expression from Gon’s face. He felt like maybe he didn’t hear right or perhaps he was imagining things. He quickly restated, “Mommy? Me?”

 

“Well duh! There is no else, I’d wife!”

 

“B-buu...but, I’m a _guy._ ”

 

“A mom is anybody who is motherly. It’s a gender neutral term. Plenty of people have kids, but they’re not _moms._ Ya know? It takes a special person to be a mommy.”

 

Gon kept on giving a blank look at Killua. He simply nodded his head with confusion. “Ya-huh..? And who am I mothering.”

 

“We have lil lambs.” Killua elaborated, backing away from Gon. He paced around the room explaining, “Alluka is the oldest. She is 14! And then there is Kalluto. He just turned 10.” Proudly, he held up two fingers. “These are the little ones depending on you.”

 

It was really hard to tell if Killua was a crazy or if he was telling the truth. He seemed so genuine and true. The look on his face was one of a head over heels lover, as blue eyes searched Gon for any sign of refusal or rejection.

 

Timidly, Gon shook his head. “I...I’ll try my best.”

 

Killua frowned, “That’s not the correct answer.”

 

Rising up, Gon scooped up Killua’s hand. “I cannot say…..” He attempted to explain, only to see Killua’s eye twitch slightly. He hastily added in, “Yet! I have... _._ ”

 

“You can’t plan for the future without your family, Gon!” Killua emphasized, digging his nails in peach flesh. “You won’t ever leave me behind again!” He sneered, “You can’t!”

 

“Wha-!?” Gon swallowed up his own words. His chin was jerked up to meet Killua’s mouth. A dangerous kiss was shared.

 

Killua groaned, “You know…..” He feverishly rubbed his manhood against Gon’s thigh. “I got mad respect for you going to school. I was home schooled all my life. But….Remember the song. _Our_ song.”

 

Upon feeling the clothed object brush on him, Gon moaned lowly. He rolled his hips, in time with Killua’s friction. “I said I’m not leaving! It’s just…. college! Plus I have a long time till that happens an-aahh!” A hum of pleasure escaped his lips.

 

“I know.” Killua said in such a way, that Gon could tell he didn’t know. “I’m worried about the lil lambs.” He pressed fully against Gon, pulling him in a hug. “They really need a mother’s intuition. They...no... _we,_ ” The boy felt Gon kiss the side of his lips, which brought a smile to them. His voice became like a little timid child’s. “We need you at home, Gon.”

 

“Awe,” Gon felt Killua squeeze him. It made him cast out some hope. “Alright, I’ll visit soon.”

 

“Soon…..How soon, sweetheart?”

 

“I don’t know. But soon.”

 

Killua gulped, as if trying to maintain his composure. “I need a time.” He said shakily, “S-Soon.” His voice cracked, “That isn’t enough.” He lightly pushed Gon on the bed. “I want to be inside you, Gon.” He moaned lowly, grinding his hardness against him. “I want to fill you up, over and over, _again._ ”

 

Gon’s toes curled and his stomach churned, delighted that Killua wanted him so bad. He felt so happy, Killua wanted him as much as Gon did him. He felt so appreciated. Finally, someone attempted to satisfy his desires and got him what he wanted.

 

_Killua knew what Gon wanted._

 

“Until there is nothing left of you but relentless love and devotion for me.” Killua delivered an aggressive kiss on Gon’s lips. “You got my treasure.” He smiled into the kiss, a hand drifting under to rub his ass. “And I always take what belongs to _me._ ”

 

“I...I’m sorry…” Gon’s face tinted red as he apologized. “I just…” His hand squeezed the credit card. “Soon.” He felt so pathetic repeating the word.

 

Neither one of them really knew when soon was. But Gon hoped Killua could wait till soon. Something told Gon that Killua had already been waiting so long, but that didn’t matter. Because maybe Killua would wait until he got tired— _until he took._ When the desire blazing in him couldn’t be contained anymore and the fire had to burn innocents to ashes.

 

“But for now…” Gon grinned. He always preferred the future to the past. He lowered his face to pant under Killua’s erection. “I’m going to suck your dick so _good._ ” His tongue slipped out his mouth to wet his lips. He pressed a kiss on the bulge, “You aren’t even going to be able to get up.”

 

“Damn,” Killua eagerly unzipped his pants and whipped it out. He ran his fingers through his fluffy hair, “You think you can take me all in?”

 

Gon felt his mouth water, he had to gulp in order to speak. “I don’t know.” The longer he stared at the pulsing hunk of flesh, the more he wished he was bold enough to take it up his ass. “But I bet it’s going to feel _so_ good inside me.”

 

Positions switched up: Killua sat down on the bed and Gon got on his knees. There was an endearing special jolt in their bones, when Gon rested his body between Killua’s legs. He could feel the heavy weight of the other pressed on his flesh—trusting him for support. He could feel the nervous rise and fall of his chest—the fear of messing up. Killua felt _Gon._ And that was achieved just by leaning on each other.

 

It was amazing how much you could learn about a person just by touching them.

 

Killua gave a little nod, “You know it. But…” He cupped Gon’s face, forcing wide brown eyes to stare in blue. “First you have to say, _please._ ”

 

Cutely, Gon titled his head, “Hmm?”

 

“Manners, Gon.” Killua reinforced. “If you’re going to a fancy rich people college. I can confirm most rich people are stuck up assholes. So you have to act classy around them.”

 

“Oh..!” Killua squeezed Gon’s cheeks. The boy barely able to squeak, “Okay!”

 

“I always act classy. For example, I ask my,” He coughed a bit, “Victims...unm! Umhh…” Killua cleared his throat recalling how he sounded the last time, “Would you...would you please die?”

 

“So I phrase it like that?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Gon popped his lips, “Would you please,” He leaned his head against Killua’s thigh, nuzzling it affectionately. “Let me suck you off?” Bright big brown eyes twinkled up his boyfriend.

 

Killua gave him a gleeful kiss on the head. “Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever…” He gripped strands of black hair, and shoved him on his dick. “Even like this… so pretty.”

 

Gon didn’t get a chance to take in fucking oxygen, before his nose was sniffling Killua’s pubic hair.

 

A little gagging noise came, followed by soft groans. The sound of slurping and moaning filled the room.

 

“I’m gonna ravish you.”

 

Gon coed, sending vibrations up Killua’s spine.

 

“I’ll start by fondling your cute ass. Then slap it until you can properly scream my name. I might even tie you up…. _yeeaaah_ , move your head like _that_ sunshine, I like it when you gag.”

 

Kneeling before him, Gon slightly lifted his head. His tongue swirls around the head and down the shaft, licking every inch of Killua. He trailed kisses along the seam as blue eyes stay glued on his mouth.

 

“ _Mmm_ , I’m gonna treat you. I sweee-aaahh..Ah...Sugar. Bliss.”

 

Gon began stroke Killua with his mouth, eagerly sucking and licking. His head bobbed up and down as he trembled with delight.

 

Sloppily, Killua’s hands combed through Gon’s hair. “You’re like a happy puppy fi-finnn...finally getting a drink after play—aaaaayying in the sun.” His blue eyes flashed at the display. “Are you really that thirsty for me?” He leaned over and bit into Gon’s shoulder. His mouth sucking on the caramel flesh, like it was a succulent piece of chocolate. He whispered huskily, “Of course you are…..You love my dick. I bet you were thinking about it all day, weren’t you?”

 

At that statement, Gon felt the heavy hunk of flesh pulse against his tongue. Sucking hard, he pulled the cock deep and let it hit the back of his throat. He let out a pleasant groan.

 

“I knew it.” Killua let go of his hair. He lowered his hand to trace the curves of Gon’s body, from the arc of his back to his thick ass. “You dirty..” He spanked him. Gon’s ass jumped like Killua’s heartbeat. “Little angel.” Finally removing his teeth, a huge red mark was left on Gon’s flesh. “But you knew, I would take care of you.” He delivered another spank. “I’ll dick you down every night if you need it, Gon. Because, I can’t get enough of you either.”

 

Gon shuttered, moving his tongue to lick Killua’s tip.

 

“So adorable…” Killua paused, “Heh, I’ll collar you. Get you a cute choker necklace with my name on it.” That’s when Gon’s throat muscles _swallowed._ Killua let out a surprised yelp, “I’m ab-bboout to-!”

 

Frightfully, Gon yanked his mouth back. Killua’s cum shot over his face. The hot liquid made Gon cringe, as he whimpered slightly. “You couldn’t have warned earlier?”

 

“I didn’t know you could do your mouth like that.” Killua moaned, still riding high on his orgasm.

 

“Thank, YouTube and Tumblr. It taught me everything.”

 

“Thanks to all the people staying horny on main.”

 

“Hehe…” Gon giggled, rising up. “I’m going to wash my face and brush my teeth.” He paused in mid-walk, “You chill with waiting till I come back?”

 

“Yes, sweetheart.” Killua flashed a smile, “I’ll be here waiting for your cute ass to bust it open.” He blew a kiss in his boyfriend’s direction.

 

Gon split his legs, pointed both his hands downwards and made a popping sound with his mouth. “Insert here.” He laughed playfully.

 

Killua’s smile grew, as started to sing praises to his sunshine. “My boyfriend is smart, sexy, and funny!”

 

Gon blushed, “Well, my boyfriend,” He winked at him, “is hot, flamboyant and tough.” A million dollar smile appeared on his face. “I might just fuck around and fall in love.”

 

“Haha! Haha!” Killua started laughing harder. He was already laughing before, but this time— he _wheezed_.

 

What a funny word love is. A simple 4 letter word, L-O-V-E. But it’s so fuckin funny, when people say, “Fall in love.” It was like they didn’t mean for love to happen.

 

But…..People can control their own emotions. Nobody pushes anyone to _make_ them fall in love.

 

You don’t _fall._

 

Oxytocin is the hormone released in your body. That drives physical bonding and attraction. But you don’t call that _fall in love._ It’s a little buzz.

 

Only fools fall in love.

 

 _Only_ fools.

 

It’s much safer to _Love_ , than be _In-Love_. Being in love leads to problems, and there isn’t enough money in the world that can solve those.

 


	11. Of comic books and supervillains

If money could talk, it would snitch on everyone. It would snitch on Killua for not having the guts to confess. It would snitch on Gon for being self-centered. It would snitch on Ging for using the money supposed to be saved up in Gon’s college fund for liquor. It would snitch on Mito for foolishly blowing it all on stocks.

 

Ya see, money knew _everyone’s story._ Aside from the people who don’t have none.

 

You have no money, you have no story.

 

Simple.

 

“Money controls important things in life, like justice.” Gon mumbled, rolling over in his bed. A laziness filled him this morning. He knew if he woke up, he’d get chewed out for not coming out his room and talking about ‘ _respect’_ with Mito and Ging.

 

He sighed, brown eyes drifting up to catch sight of a little bowl of oatmeal resting on his nightstand. Beside the bowl was a nicely written note:

 

_“Yo, Gon!_

 

_I wish, I could hang around and have you wake up with my body resting against your own. But I have our little lambs to take care of. You encouraged me to eat when I was down, so I’m here to return the favor. Eat, then sneak out the back door to the bus stop._

 

 _Only yours, Killua._ ”

 

Reaching over, Gon sat up. He took a spoonful of the oatmeal and shoved it in his mouth. He admired Killua’s effort, but the food tasted weird. It was peaches n cream flavored but there was like something _extra_ in it.

 

Confounded, he took another spoonful. This time he rolled his tongue around, chewing thoughtfully as he tried to discover the mystery ingredient. He kept on eating more. Aside from it being cold, and tasting a little weird….it wasn’t too bad.

 

Pleasantly, Gon smiled to himself. He was on his last bite of oatmeal. After this he figured, he’d get dressed and sneak away.

 

Moving a bit to rest the bowl back on the nightstand, he took notice of a little P.S. written below the note. “ _Also I figured you’ve been waiting a long time to make your oatmeal with milk.”_ There was a smiley face, ‘ _XD’_ followed by, “ _Enjoy having me inside you for-“_

 

Gon couldn’t even read the rest before gagging. The spoon he was holding, clattered against the bowl, as he went into a coughing fit.

 

Desperately, he wheezed, “Killua, you crazy bastard! You…I swear!” Gon rubbed his stomach. “Wait!” A flood of blush washed over his face. “WHY DID I ACTUALLY LIKE IT!?” He put his hands over his face, slapping himself. “That’s gross! It’s gross!”

 

He hugged his hands around his pillow. A sick feeling was forming within him, but he didn’t think it was from wanting to throw up. He must have been going crazy. _This was crazy._

 

Gon licked his lips, “It’s so disgusting…” He smiled to himself. “But Killua taste pretty good, if he didn’t put himself in something that was supposed to have a set flavor like oatmeal.” Sucking lightly on his tongue, he recalled the sensation.

 

He also thought about _other stuff_ on his tongue. Hot, heavy, large— _stuff._ Rough, fingers. Forcing him apart. Touching _his_ parts.

 

Gon's face heated up more, as he tried his best to push his dirty mind away. He attempted to focus on other things like counting inventory or how much profit he should make today. 

 

Standing up, he grabbed his phone from off his bed. The bright screen had a web page up reading: _Payment successful! Report to room 309 on Saturday at Hunter’s High School. Bring: Testing ticket confirmation, paper, calculator and number 2 pencil._

 

He yawned, “Rise and grind,” Reaching over to check the stash in his backpack, he muttered, “Let's get this bread.” He figured if he could at least sell out for the day that would be a start to his college fund. 

 

* * *

 

A hash slap hit his shoulder, “Rise and grind,” Killua yawned. Blue eyes flickered upwards to catch sight of his sister. “Let's get this bread.”

 

“You're not one to talk. You fell asleep eating breakfast.” Alluka accused, she raised a slight brow. “Were you at Gon’s house all night?”

 

Killua let out an unsightly hum, his eyes drifted off Alluka to look at her empty cereal bowl resting on the table. Kalluto was sitting beside him, still shoving Lucky Charms in mouth. He munched loudly, “Numm.. Numm.”

 

The sound was so soothing, that Killua swore he only feel asleep because of the steady beat. Carelessly, he waved his hand. “Details are irrelevant, little lamb.” A bit of sweetness laced his tone, as he reached his hand out to rub her head. “How long have I been out?”

 

Alluka’s face softened a bit, “20 minutes. I only told you because I’m about to catch the school bus.” She knew better than to not check in with Killua. The boy would have lost his marbles if he assumed she left without telling him.

 

“Alright.” Killua spoke so tenderly when he woke up. “You go make me proud, okay? You know you the first, so you represent.” His touch more gentle and comforting. “Leave a good impression on the teachers, so Kalluto can get some clout when it’s his time.”

 

The 10 year old was loudly slurping up the milk and cereal left. Upon, hearing his name called he peeped out from his bowl like a mercat. “Hmm?”

 

The teen withdrew his touch. “Your big sister is going to school.” Killua let out a hum, ”You never know the last time you will see someone," He gave a loving smile at the both of them. "You should find it in your heart to be grateful, we are safe and happily living together. _"_

 

Kalluto swallowed, “Thank you, Alluka.”

 

“Now tell her that you love her and appreciate the hard work she doing.”

 

“I love you, Alluka. I know, I’m not as smart as you, but thank you for working hard to impress the teachers so I have high expectations.”

 

The girl was grinning ear to ear. Happily, she gave a kiss to the side of Killua’s cheek. Then she skipped over and kissed Kalluto.

 

“How long are you going to be gone?” Kalluto whispered low enough for only the two of them to hear.

 

Alluka’s joy wavered slightly. “School last 6 hours.”

 

Kalluto sucked his cheeks inwards, as if troubled slightly. “Can you get home on time, today?” His bottom lips trembled slightly. “His overprotective fits scare me.” What he really wanted to say was, " _What if he makes me go kill someone? I hate all this blood. I'm sick and tired of the blood."_

 

Alluka took a long breath, “He’s saving us, Kalluto.” There was a ring in her voice like she was a preacher talking about Jesus dying on the cross for sins. “He will save our lives! You have to trust him. He’s making something out of our nothing! For example, letting me go to school!”

 

“Tch..” Kalluto turned his head away from her. He hated his sister, sometimes. He hated her because she knew how to escape. She always knew how to escape a bad situation. With their parent’s she would be locked in her room all day and now she was leaving for school. _She always escaped and left him behind._

 

A look of pity came on Alluka’s face, “I’ll try okay?” She cupped his face and nuzzled their noses together. “Only because, I love my little brother so much!” This time she spoke louder, attempting to play the interaction off.

 

Killua smiled, “See?” He stood up. “That was what we were missing." Endearingly, he extended an arm out to his siblings, "We were missing that all along.”

 

A perplexed expression washed over Kalluto, as he blinked his eyes. When he reopened them a pen and paper was placed beside his bowl.

 

Pearly white teeth were beaming down at Kalluto and Alluka, as Killua’s voice boomed through the house. “LOVE!”

 

Alluka backed away from them slightly, glancing over to check the time on the stove. “Yep.” She agreed reluctantly, “I love y'all and I got to go y’all!”

 

The brain could only handle so many thoughts at once. The singular thought of ‘ _Love’_ was enough to overthrow Kalluto’s brain. It made him freeze and reflect on what love is. At first, he thought love was just someone putting clothes on your back, letting you sleep with a roof over your head and putting food in your mouth. _Love was caring enough to keep you alive, even if you were a hollow shell of yourself._

 

Over the sound of the front door slamming shut, Killua went into a mindless ramble. He talked about the future and some of his plan. He pointed at the pen and paper in front of Kalluto and waved his hands around raving about something. The few words the child was able to pick up were, “Ya know, this is all apart of my plan. Alluka is going to school so she be mad smart. Then you,” A fist pounded on the table, “I am going to get Gon to help you.”

 

Kalluto being the only other person in the house, assumed Killua meant him. But Killua’s way of grabbing attention was much different than his parents. His _old_ mommy would have slapped him across the face, “ _Pay attention, bitch.”_ She always called him a bitch when she was mad. “ _You’re so pretty for a boy, Kalluto. Heartless people will snatch you up off the street if you don’t pay attention. They’ll make you into their bitch. So might as well get used to being called bitch since that’s what what you want to be.”_

 

Unconsciously, Kalluto nodded. He would always keep a stern face and nod at her. Over the years he learned how to make an emotionless face. When insults were thrown he became a wall and brainwashed himself to think, ‘ _She only insults me because she loves me. These hits are because she loves me and wants me to do better. I should do better.’_

 

Killua chuckled, “Yeah. I know you like the idea of being with your new mommy.” He paced around the dining room. “I talked to Gon about it. He had no objections.” His voice grew a bit giddy, “He even said that he might stop by soon! Aren’t you eager? It will be our first time at home as a _proper_ family.”

 

Kalluto’s eyebrows melted together. His brain also failed to understand what _love_ had to do with _happiness_ or _proper_ and how all that mixed in with _family._ He wanted to trust Killua on these things. But a part of him questioned if Killua even understood the words out his mouth.

 

“Does Gon make a family?” Kalluto finally found his tongue and was able to question, “Or does love?”

 

A careless shrug came from Killua, “They mean the same thing…” Then the teen laughed, as if humored by Kalluto’s ignorance. Gleefully, one of his pale fingers tapped on Kalluto’s forehead. “Gon is love. We all love Gon. Gon brings us together.”

 

“I don't get it…”

 

“Don’t worry you’ll learn. Gon is real smart. No doubt he’ll home school you to catch you up with other kids your age.”

 

“He’s going to teach me?” Kalluto didn’t know why, but this information baffled him.

 

It reminded him of what his old mommy used to say about education. “ _Don’t worry about reading the fancy stuff, bitch. If you can’t focus enough to read Magic Tree House, then don’t even bother touching Percy Jackson._ ” She would take book from him. “ _You just got to be a little smart, like Milluki where you understand money and computers. No one needs to be Illumi level smart. Illumi is special. We tried to make another special one with your older brother, but Killua is just a smart ass. He thinks he doesn’t have to study.”_ She would get heated over this.

 

Before Kalluto did not understand why it bothered his old mommy that Killua was so smart, but now he knew…. Killua was smart enough to _know they deserved better._ He knew they were worth more than dirt and could live a life better than being an empty shell of themselves.

 

“Gon taught me the most important thing on our date,” Killua held up his pointer finger. He restated, “There’s no one in this world who really achieves anything by themselves.” Shakily, he brought his hand to his heart. “You have to step on other people and crush them in order to succeed in life.” A delirious gleam appeared in his big blue eyes.

 

“I don’t get it.” Kalluto cringed, “Why use people and be mean to them? You’re alive for a set amount of time. People can’t get along or at least pretend to get along with others, till their time runs out?” It wasn’t like humans really lived a _long_ time. Most barely scratched the surface of half a decade.

 

Killua snorted, “You sound a lot like Gon.” Almost mockingly he made fun of his brother. “You're an optimist now?”

 

Kalluto focused his sight on the floor, feeling embarrassed. He knew he shouldn’t have asked. It would have been easier to zip his lips and stiffly nod.

 

The white haired boy yawned then recalled an idea he had earlier. “Oh! Before, I forget.” He pointed, “I have an assignment for you, being the baby of the family and all.” A little grin spread on Killua’s face. “I need to know what you think home is, so I can make Gon comfortable when he comes.”

 

“M-mee?!” Kalluto sputtered out.

 

“I don’t repeat myself.” Killua said, tuning to head towards the living room. “I’m going to take a little nap.” He pulled out his phone and checked the time. “You have till Alluka comes home from school to think of some stuff. Think of this as a school assignment due at the end of the day.” He suggested.

 

Kalluto swallowed dryly. He felt like he needed something to help him think. “C-can I get something to drink?”

 

“More milk going to take a while.” Killua sighed, “And you know the water still got lead poisoning.”

 

Kalluto was still too immature so he pestered, “Are you going to go to the store? What are we going to eat for dinner!? I’m tired of eating only cereal and oatmeal!”

 

“I don’t know, little lamb.” Killua fixed his voice to sound as tender as possible. He titled his head, to face Kalluto and flashed him a concerned look. “I’m really just trying to make do right now.” His gaze darkened slightly, “You know, I’m going to take good care of my lambs. Don’t worry.”

 

The way he said ‘ _worry’_ made Kalluto worry even more. But his brain had more trust that stemmed from fear boiling within him. Pathetically, he whimpered. “I know. I know, we are a family.”

 

“Good boy.” Killua praised, turning his back on him once more. He sang more praises as he walked out, “Gon is going to love you. He’s going to be the best mommy ever. So make mommy proud of you when he gets here.”

 

Kalluto stared at the blank sheet of paper. Picking up the pen, uncertainty filled him with what to write. How was he supposed to talk about family, when he never had a _real_ one before? What was he supposed to say? Didn’t people get grades in school? If Kalluto answered wrong, would Killua take points off? Was there even a wrong answer to this?

 

Taking a sharp breath the 10 year old scribbled down the word: _Regret._

 

He didn’t know why he chose the word, but home to him was full of regret.

 

Then he wrote the word: _Mommy_

 

He knew why he choose this, because a home wasn’t a home without mommy.

 

Finally he wrote: _Money_

 

He knew and also didn’t know why he wrote this. He knew his family was _very_ well off, but he didn’t know why he felt like that should be involved in a home.

 

But money knew why it was involved. Money would snitch, ‘ _I know kids do not quite understand me yet, but they are aware of my existence.’_ When people think rich, they think of everything the Zoldycks have: big mansion, luxury cars, expensive clothes, gold jewelry, diamond rings, clean sneakers. They fail to think about what they lack or what might be missing from a seeming perfect family image.

 

Love is all about that image.

 

And you don’t need money to have love.

 

* * *

 

Gon peeked up from his SAT book, for the past hour his aunt ranted on and on. There was absolutely no reason for them to have waited for Ging to come home. Ging was just holding his peace and nodding his head. The man occasionally scratched at his stubble when Mito looked to him for support or backup. Clearly, Ging really didn’t have a desire to be involved.

 

But this was—according to his aunt—‘ _a family problem.’_ Problems that were caused in the family would be answered or addressed as a family.

 

“We can only do so much, Gon. But we understand you’re becoming a young adult and want to experience the world first hand.” Mito glanced at Ging. She wanted him to drop some advice or something.

 

Ging messed with his little bit of facial hair, shifting around on the couch as if needles were stabbing in his back. He glumly uttered, “We believe in you, son?” He didn’t smile. He was probably upset at Gon for acting out and making them have this talk in the first place. “But money makes the world go around.”

 

Hazel brown orbs avoided Ging’s gaze. Gon returned them to rest on his SAT book. Words and numbers were easy to block out reality with, but it didn’t block out imagination.

 

Subconsciously, Gon remembered what Killua said on their date, “ _Money can't buy happiness_ ." Then the delicate way he whispered, " _I_ _t can't buy you..._ "

 

Killua knew this. But it seemed his father and aunt lacked this basic common knowledge.

 

“If anything you should spend every last penny on me.” Gon found himself thinking aloud. “I’m a miracle child. And mommy….Mommy would _love_ me enough to be proud.” He’d been thinking about what Killua told him— _what a mommy is._ So far he concluded: Moms were supposed to love, shelter, and nurture their kids.

 

Mito choked on her next sentence, surprised Gon had spoken up. “We...we...we’re real proud of you.”

 

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

 

“But we ar-“

 

“You can’t say something and never show it.”

 

Once more Mito turned to Ging.

 

Ging shrugged, “The kiddo has a point.” He tapped on his chin almost in deep thought. Clicking his tongue he concluded, “You know all this ranting is just nothing but bad energy from those freaks. They crawling up in here in attempt to break our family apart. The superna-“

 

“That’s it!” Mito threw her hands up and rose from the sofa. “One of these days you're going to tell that bullcrap to the wrong person and they're going to put you in a mental hospital.”

 

“What!? I’m just being honest!” Ging complained, there was bafflement in his voice. “They are making you heated right now! They’re evil things! They like to stir up hatred and rip human’s lives apart! THEY ARE EVIL!”

 

“You said evil twice ya, moron!” Mito stomped away to her room.

 

Ging got up from the couch to try and plead his case with her. But the room door was slammed in his face. He knocked on it hastily, “Mito! Come on, sis! Now you’re the one setting a bad example for Gon! You want to teach the boy to run away from his disagreements instead of finding common ground?”

 

The teen felt tempted to remind them, that he was 16 and did not need an example anymore. He was old enough to think for himself instead of copying behavior. But he’d let them have their siblings corral.

 

Gon stood up and headed towards the kitchen to clean the dinner table. He checked the pan  full of their leftover enchiladas on the stove. ‘ _I_ _should give it to Killua. Make sure he eats a proper dinner than just chocolate.’_ He thought, grabbing some tinfoil and placing it over the food.

 

“Give me, what?” Killua demanded. Gon turned his head slightly to see the tall boy leaning against the refrigerator. His curious blue eyes darted around, to seek out what was being offered.

 

The black haired boy let out a low hum, “Hello, Killua.” He went to put the remaining tinfoil back in its spot. “You’re not big on friendly entrances, are you?”

 

Killua crossed his arms, “You recognize my voice.” A little smug grin tugged on his lips. “Plus, you know I’m always dropping in to check on you, sweetheart.” He strolled closer to Gon. For a few seconds, Gon assumed Killua was going to kiss him. He held his breath with glee and joy. Words were huskily spoken against his lips, “Don’t you remember the promise I made you when we were younger?”

 

“Not really.” Gon murmured, a tad bit disappointed. “But I still trust you.” His large brown eyes sparkled at the taller boy.

 

Killua verbally applauded, “Good. That’s all I ask.” He backed away, glancing at the SAT book resting on the couch. “I’m shocked you stopped studying.”

 

Gon _really_ wished Killua would have kissed him. It was hard to play it off like he didn’t care. “I...I thought about you.” He motioned to the pan. “You and the little ones...umm…”

 

The white haired boy screwed up an eyebrow, prompting, “ _Go on.”_

 

“Well family should c-come first, and I remembered our date and how you didn’t eat much. Then I thought about how maybe your parents didn’t make you eat, and I got worried for Alluka and Kalluto...it sorta bugged me, the whole mommy thing I was thinking o-“ Gon forced his tongue to stop rambling. He decided to put everything simply, “Did you eat dinner yet?”

 

Killua shook his head.

 

Nervously, Gon gave a lame smile, “Cool.” Then catching himself he corrected, “I MEAN NOT COOL! YOU SHOULD EAT MORE!” His eyes rolled around unable to find one thing to focus on, “I completely did not not misuse cool. I mean _cool_ as in convenient because _cool_ we have leftovers. _Cool_ as in take them home to feed the little ones. _Cool._ ”

 

The way Killua stared at Gon without his usual laughter made him even more nervous.

 

The human’s head began to spin as he struggled to mumble, “T-thanks for the oatmeal it was interesting. I…” He felt his heart beat increase. “Really the advice saved my ass from getting grilled this morning.” Shakily, he leaned on the counter top. “I would say this food is because I owe you one. But it’s really not, I’m just preparing for my mommy role….. I guess?”

 

Killua’s face lit up. “That’s stupendous!” He grabbed Gon’s hand. “I thought I was going to have to stop by a fast food place like Burger King or McDonald's.” He smile delightfully, “But you already considered the little lambs and their cravings for variety.”

 

Currently, Gon had zero clue what Killua was talking about. Half the time he had no clue what Killua was talking about, but that just made him more mysterious.

 

“Of course.” Gon brushed off the compliment, beaming happily. “A mommy always considers their kid(s).” He withheld saying, “ _At least that’s what my mom did.”_

 

“You’ve studied up?”

 

“Not really. I’ve configured that by movies, television, books. Ya know, basic knowledge. But I plan to study.”

 

Killua got this unnatural aura around him. He flipped his white bangs upwards, as he pulled Gon near him. “You're so cute when you do that.” His hand that rolled over Gon’s face, caught a thumb over pink lips and pushed them open.

 

Gon’s mouth submitted to Killua’s command. “Cute?” His tongue rubbing over pale flesh, as he lightly bit down.

 

A shudder ran through Killua, as he wiggled another finger in the warm cavern. His voice grew deeper, “That thing you do.” It was so charming, he lost words to describe it sometimes.

 

Black brows raised affectionately, “Which thing?”

 

Big blue eyes beamed downwards to observe their sweetheart. “When you smile and say something caring.” Killua removed his fingers from Gon’s cavern to suck the saliva off in his own.

 

Gon puckered his lips, “Cute enough to kiss?”

 

Their lips melted together to share a zesty kiss. Killua taking control to transport Gon to a blissful place full of rapture.

 

Gon moaned sweetly, as his troubles faded away. He titled his head, to allow Killua’s tongue to roll into his mouth. In time, he rolled his hips.

 

Killua urged, “Do they stress you out, Gon? Do they not appreciate you? Parents, guardians, whatever…. they all act the same.” His tongue ran over his boyfriend’s upper gums. The action made Gon let out a heavy breath. Shifting slightly, Killua steadied the shorter boy’s body. “I appreciate you.” He whispered, parting their lips to allow a single strand of spit to connect them. “At home, you’ll always be.”

 

Gon couldn’t stop smiling. “I feel so welcome.” He reconnected their mouths together. Sloppily, their tongues glided—taste buds tingling as they discovered the flavors of each other.

 

Their chest bumped up against and briefly Gon could feel Killua’s heart. _It was weird._ Wrinkling his brow, he pressed his mouth harder against him.

 

Gon didn’t know what told him this, _but he kissed Killua before._ Even before their date, they kissed. But it felt so long ago, his recollection was foggy…. _Gon felt Killua’s arms hugging around him. They were kissing on the bathroom floor. Scissors in his hand, mouth on another mouth, heart beating in sync with its counterpart._

 

Shyly, Gon pulled back, his head spinning at the memory resurfacing. _That_ was when…..back when he…. He swallowed dryly. “Y-you should head out now, Killua.”

 

The supernatural boy seemed confused at the awkward timing, “Now?”

 

“That’s what I said.” Gon pointed to the pan full of leftovers. “And don’t forget to take those, to feed the little ones. But in case your parents dis-”

 

At the word ‘ _parents_ ’ the corners of blue eyes crinkled. “Trust me, my parents never learned fools that run their mouths wind up dead.” Killua proclaimed, a sly smirk crawling on his lips. “They’ve been silenced, they can’t keep us apart anymore.” The smirk grew, "And I will not allow anyone to separate us, Gon. Because..because...we're a family."

 

"But didn't you just say your par-"

 

"THEY'RE NOT MY REAL FAMILY!"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Those people were never my family. I might belong to them, but I don't love them...." Killua spat bitterly, "And they never...." He seemed to be in deep thought for a minute. Unnamed emotions flooded his face, "Well, I have you."

 

Perplexed, Gon was about to question Killua more about his life at home, but a cat caught his tongue. All he could do was stare at him with pitiful brown eyes. He knew his aunt Mito was wrong: _‘Everyone knows love before they know hate.’_ That wasn’t true, because Killua Zoldyck did not.

 

Past those cheerful blue eyes, was a beast that gave Gon chills to think about. Especially as his slender fingers combed through his long black hair, “You're so sweet on us, Gon. You're being a better mommy than we ever had. You actually give us edible food.” Killua purred gleefully, “Ya know, Kalluto was saying the most cutest stuff today.” He kissed Gon’s forehead. “I thought about you.”

 

“Oh…that's sweet.” Gon mumbled. He wondered if Kalluto and Alluka were the same way: _if they had experienced hate and assumed it was love._

 


	12. Of comic books and super villains

Things would be easier if Gon was like his father. If Gon was like Ging and just blamed everything on supernatural and he cursed the forces that be. But Gon couldn’t. So that led to him having a sleepless night.

 

“You look like a zombie.” Biscuit commented. For the second day in a row the counselor had been hanging around the library, occasionally checking to see if Gon was really studying.

 

Gon looked up from the SAT book. “I’ve been up studying.” He lied. Moving a finger he flipped the page, flashing a few highlighted words.

 

“You just make sure to get a good sleep before the big test.” The woman informed him. “If you don’t get a full night's rest, it leads to discombobulation and not thinking straight.”

 

“Okay, I will.” Gon murmured, as the lady flashed him a smile. She was encouraging. Biscuit had much more positivity than his dad or Mito did about this whole thing. She almost was as supportive as Killua.

 

Biscuit pointed at the essay topic, “So you highlighted the words: supernatural, evil, and motherly.”

 

‘ _Shit._ ’ The boy thought. He tapped his pencil on the blank space where he was supposed to write. “Yep.” The last thing he needed was for a counselor to slide in on his personal life.

 

“Any particular reason?”

 

“Yeah. Upon further examination, I concluded this prompt is too shoddy.”

 

“How so?”

 

“These words are in the gray area for me until I properly feel justified to extend my point of reason.”

 

Biscuit gave a nod of approval, impressed with Gon’s use of vocabulary. However, she still looked a bit lost. Her eyes flickered trying to understand, “Motherly...is in the gray area for you?”

 

Gon looked heavenward, giving her an obvious sarcastic glance reading: ‘ _I never had a mother. How am I supposed to know what that is like?’_

 

“Aside from your shortcomings.” Biscuit clarified, “Think about it. You have people who actually _want_ you. Some kids have parents who could care less about them.” She shook her head sadly, “I really wish there were more social programs and activities for mistreated, abused and homeless youth. It would reduce gangs, drugs and the crime rate.”

 

Gon found himself thinking about Killua and his siblings. He took into consideration, Killua’s views on evil and about justice. If their role would have been switched, _would he think like that?_

 

Numbly, he agreed. “I get where you come from. I know I have a pretty good life!” Gon sighed, “I was actually thinking about the word,” His eyes drifted to the side, “for a friend.”

 

The lady’s voice grew more stern, “You didn’t get a girl pregnant did you?”

 

”If that was the case, I’d be looking up coat hangers and-“

 

”Gon!”

 

”You asked me, a question! I’m discovering how to be a mother for taking care of kids whose parents foolishly had them and don’t want them.”

 

”Like taking care of an adopted sibling?”

 

”Something like that.” Gon said abruptly. He had himself a whole boyfriend. Well actually he had himself a whole project….. A duty to take care of those less fortunate than him. “I mean, having a kid doesn’t make you a mommy right? A mom is special. They have love. A lot of love to share, because it’s a mixture of feelings and actions.”

 

“Interesting, perspective…” Biscuit’s eyes went wide as she nodded taking in all the teen’s information. “I wish I could agree, but I feel there is more to that. It takes more than love. You can endlessly love somebody and that can make them a helpless dependent.”

 

Gon gave a low hum. “I’ll have to further investigate that.” He pursed his lips, looking at his highlighted words. “But it could be true…... my aunt says love is addictive, and I can confirm that.” His tongue slipped out to lick his lips-recalling Killua’s juicy ones pressed on them and the feel of their bodies mashed together.

 

“All the answers are locked away in the big mystery of life, Gon.” Biscuit applauded him. She stood back up to full height, messing with some papers in her hand. “You can go discover them all.” The woman’s heels still made an annoying sound when she walked.

 

Gon watched her walk out the library, and gave a little wave. He closed his SAT book and pulled out his phone. A webpage was open, ‘ _How to be a mommy?’_ But most of the answers were geared toward parenting and some of them were salty arguing over petty shit.

 

The internet sucked sometimes.

 

Perhaps Biscuit was right and Gon had to live life to discover stuff for himself. But Gon really didn’t have time for that. He wasn’t ready for “ _adult”_ actions, he was just a teenager. So he was going to do stuff his own way.

 

“Goals,” He announced outloud, “Save Killua, Alluka and Kalluto. Make Killua a superhero. And…..become a mommy.” Quickly, he scribbled those words down on paper. It would be better to see and re-read it so he wouldn’t lose track. Now all he had to do was find a way to go about achieving them.

 

Smacking his lips together, he grabbed his backpack and book. Gon stood up, deciding to get some air better than the smell of old books.

 

Walking out, he gave fist bumps to some random kids in the hall, before bumping into Kurapika. “Sup!” He chirped upon seeing the blonde.

 

Kurapika pushed more books into his locker. “Gon! Just the person, I wanted to see.” He took a few papers, “I’ve been thinking about what happened last time we ran into each other.”

 

Rolling his hazel eyes, Gon scoffed. “Yeah no.”

 

Kurapika frowned slightly, “No?” He repeated as if the answer caught him off guard.

 

Tilting his head over so that the bottom locker boy could see his twisted expression, he insisted, “No.” His long black locks fell over his troubled brown orbs. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

 

Kurapika’s earrings bounced as he jerked forward, “But I kept thinking all last night ab-“

 

“We’re still cool, Kurapika. I forgive you.” Gon said, shrugging his shoulders. “But what you said is what you said. If that’s what you believe that’s fine.”

 

“Yes, I know I can’t take my words or actions back….but I want to be there to for you.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You were kind enough to confide your problems and I brushed them off. So at least let me apologize, properly.”

 

The 16 year old’s forehead puckered. “There is no need. I’m over it.” He waved his hand as if erasing a record. “Ever heard of grace and forgiveness saving souls? I’m into that. So this conversation is over.”

 

Kurapika dug deeper in his locker, “My boyfriend and I have extra tickets to se-“

 

“I don’t want your guilty apologies!” Gon barked, pointing at him. It was taking him a lot to push past the betrayal he felt before. “Friends have each other’s backs! If you _were_ my friend I wouldn’t let you off so easy. But you’re not.” His brown eyes narrowed, “You’re just a nosey school reporter who I did one interview with. You owe me nothing.” The words flying out his mouth made everything hurt less and less until it was almost nonexistent. “You can’t disappoint somebody, if they never had faith in you in the first place.”

 

All the hope from Kurapika’s face faded. “But Gon, I’ve thought about you and Killua. I want to be frie-”

 

The world only seemed to distort for a few seconds, it was faster than last time. Random colors that flashed before Gon’s eyes happened in a single heartbeat.

 

Gon felt a hand resting in his back pocket as a tall boy appeared at his side. A cold expression on his face, “You’ve been thinking about us?”

 

An unreadable look came on Kurapika’s face. It was like he wanted to say something but he couldn’t as his gaze hardened.

 

Gon jumped, “K-Killua! What..what are you..you doing here?” He spun around to face him.

 

Killua smirked slightly as he picked up Gon’s hand, bringing it up to the tip of his nose. “Hey, baby boy…” He gently kissed the caramel knuckles. “You said you called for me in school once, so today I was waiting on standby.”

 

“Gon?” A worried look came on Kurapika’s face. “Who are you talking to? Killua isn’t here.” He set a textbook on the ground beside him.

 

“Wh-aah..” The black haired boy pointed at Killua. He barked, “Hey! Do your thing, thing! So I don’t look weird!”

 

“Can’t.” Killua shrugged, “Certain conditions aren’t me-”

 

“What the fuck?” A tall dark shaggy haired boy hollered, as he tripped over Killua’s foot.

 

A couple of other dudes around him snickered. “Haha! Uvogin! You tripped on air you dumb fuck!”

 

“Shut the fuck up!” He barked at them. “Especially you, Phinks. But…” Dark eyes cut menacingly, “All you fools blind!”

 

“You blind, idiot! We didn’t fall!” Phink fired out. He nudged his friend as if encouraging backup.

 

The boy elbowed Phinks hard in the gut. “Fuck off with that touchy-feely shit, man!” He shot a warning gaze at Uvogin, “Don’t call me nothing.” The short boy punched him in the arm. He sneered, “Blind motherfucker! You know better.” He delivered a powerful stomp on a large foot. “I’m the boss when Chrollo ain’t ‘round!” Another punch met the tall boy, this time right in his gut. “Show me some goddamn respect.”

 

Uvogin grunted, “Sorry, Fetain.” He was double Fetain’s size, but he was still being a submissive little bitch.

 

Sanity would do that to people. Sanity will command you grovel, beg and submit just to fit in.

 

Fetain glanced over to inspect for any witnesses. “What you staring at?”

 

Gon had gotten so distracted by their commotion, he forgot that witnesses were just as bad as snitches and got their asses beat.

 

The question was repeated, “What you staring at?”

 

“Shit, Gon.” Kurapika cussed lowly. He held his breath to tuck down the rage brewing in him.

 

The whole hall grew quite. Everyone was nervous when it came to-

 

Fetain cracked his knuckles, “Do you know who we are, kid?”

 

This was a trick question. Gon knew better than to answer.

 

“We are the Phantom Troupe.” With a snap of Fetain’s fingers, two girls appeared. One on each side of him. “Now you’re short, but you don’t look like a punny freshman.”

 

Gon didn’t know why he did it. He didn’t know _why_ he made direct eye contact. It might have had something to do with the word, ‘ _Look_ ’ because Fetain was definitely the same height as him. So a rebellious spark revealed itself in his brown orbs.

 

Fetain’s eyes were as black as coals. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

 

“I didn’t—“ Gon choked as the smell of weed rolled off the boy.

 

The muscular guy who was on the floor stood. He seized this conflict as a way to redeem himself. "You got beef?"

 

Gon kept his voice low, “No. No problem.” He coughed a bit, his head starting to spin.

 

A more looming presence drew closer to him. This voice was familiar. “Thugs up, bitches down! Just cause you got some clout, selling don’t make you a t-”

 

“Nah….” The short boy shoved his hands in his tight black skinny jeans. “Hisoka, we don’t go through basic rules with him. He know.” Fetain sneered, showing off his teeth. “He know what we do to snitches.”

 

“He better know! I saw his smartass checking out some big college test prep book.” Hisoka eyeballed the large SAT book in Gon’s arms. A cruel smile slipped on his lips, “He still got it too!” He stood over Gon, with his neck inclined. He sorta looked like a vulture. “You can stand to remember all this crap! But you can’t remember the rules!” Before he could slap the book down, a jolt of electricity shot through his body. “Mrrh!” His teeth bit on his tongue, as cold blue eyes stared at him.

 

Sparks began to fly around, “Don’t ever call Gon a bitch. Don’t you disrespect him with your filthy mouth. Next time you do,” Killua warned, looking at him menacingly. “I will tear out your teeth one by one then, _rip_ your tongue, and cut off your lips.” A delusional laugh slipped from him. “Don’t say _nothing_ about him, unless you have a death wish.”

 

“I want to see it! Do something about it, goofy ass!” Hisoka sneered, giving Killua a harsh shove. “Goofy ass! Goofy ass!” He slammed the boy into the lockers. “You ain’t gonna do shit.”

 

“You crazy drawn on eyebrows, lookin clown bitch." Killua hissed, jumping back on his feet. He made a tight fist, “You tall tree trunk, fucker!”

 

“Now that’s not a nice way to describe, Illumi.”

 

“I mean you!”

 

Hisoka chuckled, "Ah, yes... too bad no one else can see yo-" He dodged Killua’s punch and tried and slap Gon’s book again.

 

Kurapika roughly shoved Hisoka away from Gon. He hissed, "You get away.” The blonde's face looked ready to boil over with anger as he glared harshly at all of them. "Leave him _alone!_ "

 

Gon flinched slightly, ears ringing with teasing and laughter. Shyly, he dropped his head down feeling stupid for even reacting in the first place. He never wanted to get bullied or teased again for something stupid.

 

“Oh, now you want to get bold too?” Fetain challenged, his voice growing grave.

 

In comparison to the gang, Kurapika looked so small. But he wasn’t scared. There something amazing about people who weren’t scared. People who stood up for the correct thing.

 

Kurapika’s gray eyes darkened to a bloodthirsty red. “YEAH! I DO!” He made a fist, hissing at them like a venomous rattlesnake. "WHAT THE HELL GIVES ANY OF YOU THE BLOODY RIGHT TO PICK ON GON? You are all either high school dropouts or college no goes in the making! All I see in front of me are future gas station employees!"

 

"What did that coconut head kid just say about us?" The boy with the ponytail in his hair crossed his arms over his chest. He growled, "If this bitch, wants to talk shit! He can get shit!"

 

"Let’s beat him before the boss comes." Phinks cracked his knuckles.

 

"You want to fight, let's GO THEN. I’m tired of y’all doing crazy shit in the halls and stealing kids lunch money." Kurapika swung his body around, his blond hair dazzling off the artificial lighting as his red eyes glowed animistic. "I'll take _all of you out_ right here, right now!"

 

The pink haired girl at Fetain’s side, Machi, spoke up. “We should use them as an example.” She placed her hands on her hips, as she walked forward. Eyes focused on Gon to be her first target. Loudly, she announced, “Watch closely, bitches! This is what happens when you think you have power. Don’t forget….your place in this school is _forever_ beneath the Phantom Troupe group.”

 

Yellow orbs met with blue. The clown make-up wearing boy grinned devilishly, “Remember, you’re all Chrollo’s _bitches_!” He shouted. “You all a-“ Blood flew from his mouth followed by a tooth and an IPhone X sliding across the floor.

 

Machi’s face contorted into rage, as she saw her busted up phone in a pool of blood. “Gon!”

 

Wide brown eyes trembled in fear, as he opened his mouth to try and explain, _“I don’t know who threw it either.”_

 

The white haired boy sneered, “Hisoka, I said, _every damn tooth_.” He sent a rush of voltage into the air. “I want you to feel your slow and painful death!”

 

' _Holy shit!_ ' Gon's mind started panicking as a cold sweat broke out down his back, a traumatized almost creepy smile morphed onto his lips. The world seemed to stand still as Gon gave Killua a glare reading, “ _You cracked Machi’s phone and knocked out Hisoka’s tooth. Everyone thinks it’s my fault. You fucking crazy fuck.”_

 

His mind wavered, suddenly reaching the stunning conclusion: _If this wasn’t his fault…..Then how many other events had taken place in his life, that also was never his fault?_

 

_How much had Killua finessed for him? How much had Killua rigged for him? Did he manipulate his Pre-SAT scores?_

 

The creatures that lurked in the same wavelength as humans. Where did their effect over human’s lives split? Did it ever lose grip on them…? Was their so called destiny controlled by the hands of a supernatural creature? A part of their life that was _never_ in their control.

 

So what was?

 

Was anything really in control?

 

"So do we mop the floor with them now?" Phinks taunted.

 

Fetain gave a firm nod of approval.

 

Machi had her hands already in choke hole position, steadily moving towards Gon's neck. With her pink bangs covering her vengeful eyes she said, "Of course we do, they destroyed my phone."

 

That was all the confirmation Gon needed for his feet to start moving.

 

Machi grabbed him by his long black hair. She chuckled, “With hair down to your ankles, you’re going to have to do better than tha-”

 

“Gon!” Kurapika tossed him a pair of scissors.

 

He grabbed the sharp object, then hesitated. Because it was just _like middle school_ all over again. Everyone messing with him, bullying him for no valid reason. Tears began to swell up in his eyes as he sniffled recalling the wrath of those mean 12 year olds. If he cut off his long hair...would he be ugly again? Would Killua still like him? Would it lower his popularity level?

 

“We’re going dunk his face in the toilet so hard!” Fetain hissed. There was a heartless undertone hinting, they would do more than just that.

 

‘ _Okay decision made,’_ Gon’s actions answered for him. He swiftly cut all his lovely black hair. The clumps falling to the ground, as he jerked forward free from Machi’s grip.

 

Kurapika encouraging, “Run Gon! Run fast!” He delivered a mean punch to one of the gang members. “I’ll hold them off as long as I can.”

 

“T-thank you!” Gon shouted, then he paused adding in, “Friend!” He dashed down the halls.

 


	13. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inhales sharply*  
> Gon could step on me and I'd thank him.  
> Also thanks to everyone for reading this story...leaving kudos...thanks for breathing. Oxygen is amazing.

Where is the line drawn between right and wrong? When did people draw the line and stop trying to defend a monster? Was it possible to like somebody for their looks or talents, yet hate them for their past actions? Should dirt done stay in the past? Or _should_ it stay permanent like the effect of the actions are on the victim?

 

Each human would form their own answers to such questions. Everyone’s opinion split when it came to the term, “ _justice_ ” not knowing how close the term fell to “ _redemption_.”

 

As a moral commitment to himself, Gon promised never to assume the worst in people. Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone can also change.

 

The rows of lockers seemed to pass in a blur as his own spiky black locks clouded over his vision. Everywhere he turned were just more halls to trap him inside this crappy school. It was like a huge maze, bigger than the emotional one he was running in his head.

  
  
Even worst he couldn't stop running. He wouldn't stop running. If he stopped running…... if his feet stopped moving….

  
  
"Get back here! You short imbecile!" The Phantom Troupe's loud voices, sounded like sirens in his ear drums.

 

If he stop running, he'd be dead.

  
  
His lungs burned as air seemed to fill him up like sweet blueberry filling going in a fresh doughnut; every muscle in his body threatened to cramp up if his adrenaline died down.

 

He heard his rowdy classmates as they egged on the chase: banging on the lockers, hooting and howling like a pack of wild animals, pointing their phones, chanting for a show.

"Gon…! Gon! JUMP!" A desperate familiar voice called out, causing brown worried eyes to jolt around. From the bottom of the stairs, Killua waved to him frantically. The spunky teenager riled up with an expression of resolve decorating his face. "Jump, Gon!" He held his arms out.

 

"I… I can't!" Gon choked out, the rest of his words incoherent. The jump wasn't that high, it was only a little staircase that separated the 9th and 10th grade floor from the 11th and 12th floor. It would be a regular dive for any daredevil, but to Gon only a crazy person would attempt that. 

 

"You're dead man! You're so FREAKING DEAD!" A voice came from gang closing in on him.

 

At that moment, Gon discovered he's a crazy person.

 

Gon screeched, "Killua! You better catch me!" He took a huge breath, his feet leaping off the balcony with speed and elegance. The free fall seemed to last forever, until the breathtaking feel of firm hands wrapped around him.

 

"I knew you could…." A goofy smile painted Killua's face as he rocked the other male like a baby.

 

Fluttering his brown orbs open (that Gon couldn't recall ever closing) a fresh new hope arose inside him.

 

Bravery does happen _only_ in real danger.

  
  
"Oh God! This is your fault!" The black haired male blurted. He jumped out of Killua’s arms, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

“I like danger.” The boy gave a half-truth. He really needed to just find a way that would allow him to kill Hisoka. “We can kill em!”

 

“Are you cra—wait you _are_ crazy!” Gon corrected himself. “Why am I even asking at this point?” He arranged his fingers into a gun, and rapidly pulled the trigger. “YOU MAKE ME WANNA JUST….” He put the finger gun in his mouth and cursed. “FUCK!”

 

"Fine, let's go hide in there..." Killua motioned to a door.

 

"Umm, I don't know….that looks locked." Gon said, cranking his neck over to ensure no Phantom Troupe members were on their tail. He glanced back and forth, "Let's go to Biscuit." He suggested, "She's a councilor. She has to help us."

 

Killua grunted, ignoring the rest of Gon's claims. He zapped the metal lock, then pushed the door open, to reveal a cramped closet space. “Come on, Gon!"

 

Hesitant but obedient no less, Gon followed his boyfriend inside. The door slammed loudly, ' _BAM!_ '

 

Gon almost jumped out his skin at the sound. "You know, I’m only doing this so that I don’t get caught! I’d rather get a write up, than deal with them." He shifted around uncomfortably, “But this hiding place sucks! There is no damn space in here!”

 

"Damn it…" Killua spoke huskily, his lips brushed against Gon's. "It's due to your own paranoia putting us both at risk if y-"

 

Gon had to clamp a hand over Killua's mouth, unable to contain the sudden volt of pleasure rushing through him. He hissed, feeling his stomach tense up. "Can you stop rambling over nothing!? I’m trying to think here!" His legs felt like jello as he fell forward, pressing all his body weight onto Killua.

 

The teen released a yelp at the unexpected mass added to his own. "Go..a-aaaahhh shit!" Killua cussed loudly as he stumbled backwards, his shoulder hitting the rack of uncovered wires.

 

Gon lifted his hands to wrap around his boyfriend. “Are you okay, Killua? You’re shaking.”

 

“S-shut up!” Killua fired bitterly, “I just don’t want you fe-…” He let out a surprised shout, “HEY GON! CUT IT OUT!”

 

Gon innocently threw his hands up, "Heh?"

 

A tingling bloomed in Killua’s exposed limbs as they met the ends of wire. "Feels like I'm getting stronger…."

 

"Stronger…” Their noses bumped cutely as Gon questioned, "Does it hurt?"

 

Killua couldn't hold back a laugh that drowned out the agony and pain. He squeezed their locked hands together, "It's nothing compared to the beatings I used to take at home."

 

"At home?" It was easier now to ask about the topic, since it was introduced by Killua this time. "Do you like it?"

 

"I do now. But it WON’T BE COMPLETE TILL YOU’RE THERE!"

 

"I know…. I said soon.”

 

"You belong with me."

 

"Easy for you to say, when you control my life!"

 

“What?!”

 

Gon wasn’t about to expose his dad. But some of what Ging said was _true._ Killua was a being really controlling and was responsible for half of Gon’s failures today. He pointed at him harshly, “You know what you do.”

 

“I make you feel good?” Killua suggested, rummaging his fingers through Gon’s fluffy black locks. “You like when I mess with  your hair? It’s cute, short.” He pulled on a bit of his hair, yanking the boy’s head around.

 

“Ah..Ha! Meerrahh!” Hazel eyes burned with sympathetic lust, looking at Killua who returned an equally half-assed awkward gaze. Killua’s dangerous hand clawing at his scalp felt good. “Yeah, but sometimes you.” Gon paused, “I get hot around. The nice kind of hot… the feeling of _damn you’re hot_ , also _oh crap I feel hot,_ occasionally _what the fuck Killua!?_ ”

 

Killua jerked Gon’s hair harder. He repeated, “What feeling is what the fuck Killua!?”

 

“How I am feeling now!” Gon blurted, then shyly he rubbed his thighs together. “It makes me hot!” A cute blush decorated his face in an endearing manner. “Mad hot.”

 

"Holy fuck!" Killua’s mouth salivated, as he eyeballed his sweetheart. “You really have the hots for me.”

 

“I keep replaying our memories of our first date together, it’s like my eyeballs are stuck in rewind mode.” Gon shrugged, wrapping his arms around himself. "Is.. that why my body is acting like this. Does it have to do with the promise you made me when I was younger or about taking me home?"

 

A slight smirk came on Killua's face. He wondered if Gon would make more cute faces if he mashed him like buttons on his video game controller.

 

Killua lowered his hand to fondle Gon’s plump ass. Gon whimpered at the little tease, sinking down lower on Killua’s pelvis.

 

"Fuck…" Killua cursed, as his mind fed him more dirty ideas. He could take him, shove him up against the wall, and teasingly grind his cock against his ass. Since Gon was only half way turned on….he was desperate, nervous, and vulnerable.

 

"I.. I need ahh!" Gon's wet lips clashed together. He clung to Killua, needy and desperately as more pain shot through his body. “It’s hot! I’m _hot_ , Killua.” His breathing became raspy while his body shook. It was vaguely familiar. He might have felt like this before: head spinning, smells filling his nostrils, and an overwhelming spike of anxiety.

 

Killua croaked out, "Baby boy, calm down first…" He patted Gon's thighs to chill him out. "You're not gonna die." He ran his fingers up the inner parts enjoying the way the chunks of flesh molded to his will, shaping and folding as he pushed them apart.

 

Gon felt a huge wave of relief wash over him. He groaned a very happy, "Thank comic books…"

 

Killua nodded, satisfied that his plan was working. "Your body is just turned on or could be a hot flash, but it looks like I turn you on..." He moved his hand a bit higher up. “I think, your body finally understands. You have my heart, Gon.”

 

Blushing madly, Gon screeched, "WHAT!?"

 

"Hehe…" A greedy look flashed in Killua's dastardly blue eyes as he licked his lips. He flipped Gon, spreading his legs so that they were sitting chest to chest. “You’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not like you to act all shy."

 

"No! I..I just haven’t d...well at 14 I had a wet dream with you bu-" Gon gasped, an icy touch on his warm skin.

 

"My sweetheart saved himself for me.” Killua's voice was barely above a whisper. “You really are so cute." He traced up Gon's shirt.

 

"But Killua." Gon's confusion fell flat. He tapped on his head, "I’ve been thi-”

 

"Hey is someone in here?" A person rattled on the locked knob, "You're in an unauthorized area!"

 

Gon let out a yelp. (If he got suspended would he still be able to take the big test?) Killua flashed Gon a look reading, ‘ _Follow my lead and trust me’_ as if trying to provide some clarity that they have a chance of being alright.

 

The non-stop pounding on the door was like a hammer beating a nail. Another adult voice came from outside, "Hey kids! There is only enough room for one person! Someone might get hurt!"

 

“Hehe, hurt?” Killua moved his thumb around on Gon’s nipple like it was an analog stick. He flicked it upwards, then pushed left and right.

 

Gon squirmed, melting in Killua’s hands. A soft groan came from his throat.

 

A twisted grin came on Killua’s face, “Does it sound like someone is getting hurt?” He used his spare hand resting on Gon’s ass to deliver him a little squeeze of pleasure. “We’re going to become one now.”

 

Helplessly, Gon let out whines of denial. “Ki-Killua. Ah..Killua! Y-you...HERE?!”

 

“Don’t you want me sweetheart?” Killua rubbed a finger in Gon’s crack, “I won’t do anything unless you want me to.” His voice grew more commanding, “Remember what I taught you about _manners_?”

 

Gon’s dick throbbed, as his eyes got caught in lustful sky blue orbs. ”Yes…” He moaned loudly,  “F-fill...fill me.” His hole clenched around nothing. “Please?” A sly smile finds his face, it'sbright and happy and _pretty_ _._

 

Killua blushes a bit, because nobody has ever told Gon this was not the time to smile. Nobody can tell Gon when it is time to smile or laugh. But more importantly, nobody tells Gon when to talk. _Gon says what he wants, he laughs when he wants, he smiles when he wants._ A part of Killua is envious, since he can  _only_ take what he wants.

 

But that's okay, because Gon wants Killua to take. 

 

Killua forced Gon’s ass cheeks apart, then squashed his nipple down, making the boy fall apart. Gon let out such a loud cry, it sounded like they were flying. Killua delivered a smooch to a hickey on Gon’s neck. “When we’re one, it shouldn’t matter, if we’re here in here together.” He purred.

 

There were a few uncertain mumbles outside the door. Until a declaration came of, “I’m getting the school resource officer,” followed by the sound of feet walking away.

 

“Ahhh…” Gon coed at Killua’s lips pressed on his hot flesh. He shivered, throwing his head back. “I was...always wondering how you would feel inside me. How you would fit inside me.” A harsh grip squeezed his thick thighs, as dirty taunt was whispered.

 

"Hush now, baby boy…I'll take care of you." Killua growled possessively. “Your cute hole is just so eager to swallow me up. It will be a snug fit for sure.” He used his fingers to part pink lips, admiring Gon’s cute, warm and wide cavern. “Almost as amazing as being in your mouth.”

 

“Your cock is so massive, it almost didn’t fit all the way in my mouth.” Gon rubbed his hips together, recalling the feel of Killua’s dick between them. “So big.”

 

Killua gently stroked Gon, “You’ve always been a slut for my cock.” He switches up their spots, allowing the other boy to face him. A nail dug into Gon’s chin, forcing him to see the smug expression on his face. “Do you love it?”

 

Gon nodded vigorously, “Only yours.” He licked his lips, “I like the way it smells. The way it feels against me.” He took a shaky breath. "Killua…? That dream it…..it wasn’t a dream all those years ago was it?"

 

“Of course not.” Killua confirmed, kissing Gon’s mouth. “These urges now..... this is what I mean, they can’t love you like how you need to be."

 

Gon moved forward, barely able to see through half lidded eyes. He reached for Killua's pants, palming the growing object inside. "A buzz to make us both happy and makes this weird feeling to go away."

 

“You remember that? NOW!?”

 

“I do......the cock ring. The sexual frustration..I FEEL THE EXACT SAME!”

 

“Its...muscle memory! The current situation forces you to draw back on past knowledge!”

 

“My past knowledge keeps signaling I was strangely infatuated with..” Gon blushed deeply, as he squeezed Killua’s dick.

 

"Aurgger...ahh.. d-daamn. When you put it like _that._ " Killua muttered out, his jaw slack from the wonderful sensation to his crotch.

 

"I can’t, hold back." The short boy babbled, "If you keep teasing me like this..." He shakily tugged on Killua’s shirt, lifting it up slightly.

 

A sudden high pitched shout hit the air, making Gon clutch the fabric in fear. Goosebumps crawled up his arm as he rested his face in Killua’s shoulder.

 

“Wha….what the heck!?” Killua’s luminous and cruel eyes glared down at Gon. “Don’t do that.” He bit his lip, fighting back another cry. “Don’t _ever_ try to take my shirt off like that. I’m in control!” He claimed then in a flash, the anger is replaced by _sadness—_ hot and heavy in his tear ducts, driving his voice from where it’s hiding in his throat. “You follow my lead.” 

 

“You’re tracing under my shirt!” Gon started to babble, “You touch me all the time! I never complain! I don’t mind! So why…?” He attempted again, only to have Killua’s touch dessert his body.

 

The idea of having his shirt removed sent Killua into a frenzy. It scared him. _It scared him, to have Gon see the scars that were permanently embedded in his skin._

 

“Killua!” Gon squeaked, jerking away. “Killua, it’s okay! It’s okay!” He didn’t know what else to say to the body thrashing about hysterically.

 

“No! ITS NOT! IT'S NOT OKAY!” Killua rebelled to that idea. Lightning zapped around him as he barked, “IT'S NOT OKAY! YOU KNOW WHY IT'S NOT OKAY!”

 

Gon’s pupils dilated, his nostrils flared. “What?”

 

“You’re telling me...after all the times you hugged me… You didn’t notice?” A sad ring crawled in Killua’s tone. He hugged his arms around himself, a broken look engulfed his face. “ _Please_ , don’t do this to me…You said yourself, Gon. I like touching you because you have stuff, I don’t have.” The rest of his words were gulped down, as his orbs shifted to avoid Gon’s gaze. Killua could feel shame rising in him. _It burned_. “You were right in more ways than you first assumed.”

 

A single eyebrow raised, “Killua...you know I-“ Gon paused, considering how weird it was:  _Killua never took off his clothes. Gon was always the naked one._ His forehead puckered, “I will let you touch me anyway you want, but I have to know what you lack.”

 

Cold blue eyes gazed at glossy hazel orbs. There was no misconceptions wrapped in them, only _trust._ Killua croaked, “I’m lacking you.”

 

“Killua?”

 

“You. It’s you...your skin. I love rubbing my face in your soft skin. It’s flawless. It’s smooth. It’s…”

 

Gon cut his eyes to the side, his mind recalling all the times he hugged Killua. Maybe he just didn’t feel his flesh… Maybe it had been distorted…. Maybe he felt what he wanted Killua to feel like… _a teddy bear._

 

But Teddy bears could have rough spots too!

 

Teddy bears could be missing stuffing…

 

Teddy bears could lack proper love and care, which made them fall apart so easily.

 

Gon let go of Killua’s shirt. He reached up to massage Killua’s broad shoulders. “It’s not as strong as yours. You’ve been through a lot, and makes you even more attractive.”

 

Killua squeezed his eyes in an adorable cat like manner. In the darkness he could recall the memories— _pain_ from the whip. All his childhood was pain from that damn whip that would sometimes have sharp points on it. But the most vivid whip moment he recalled was popping his first boner. There was handcuffs holding him in the torture chamber, blood rolling off his back and pain making his body jolt. His vocal cords burned from screaming, “ _Ahh! Yes! Huhaa! Just like that!_ ” The disgusted face of his older brother Milluki was etched into his brain forever. The harsh words of, “ _Once people find out this twitches your dick, they’ll never want to be around you. Everyone will leave a sick fucker like you,_ ” haunted him. His dark blue eyes glanced down at the hardness in his pants. A demented snicker boomed in his eardrums, “ _Can’t believe you get turned on by this! You probably want to jerk off, while I beat the shit out of you.”_ He foolishly nodded. Only to have Milluki declare, “ _Guess I’m going to ask mommy to get you a cock ring so that won’t happen.”_

 

At 14, Killua didn’t know it wasn’t normal. Nobody told him or taught him any better. All he remembered after that point was his Daddy coming in and beating the daylights out of him. His own father shamed him, “ _Even I agree with your mother on this! Clean up the milk mess you made. Then you are getting whooped until you learn to control your desires!”_ He used his hand to try and wipe with the white liquid on the floor that ruined his pants. “ _S-soooory.”_ He couldn’t remember how many times he apologized that night or how many messes he made from his mother and father beating him.

 

Killua shook his head, “I got these from my parents.” Sadness drifted in his voice, “And I don’t want you to see them.” A shaky breath slipped out, “Because these marks are claims by them. They are permanent reflections of anger and frustration, how I’m a fail-“

 

Gon cut him off, “Is that why…?” He remembered how possessive Killua was over him. Reflecting on how Killua enjoyed leaving hickeys, bruises and bloody bite marks. Hesitant, he slowly loosened his hoodie to show off the display of art on his flesh. “You like to leave these?”

 

“They show who you belong to.” Killua mumbled slightly bummed out. He still avoided any eye contact, as his body trembled slightly. “Mine show who I belong to and how they feel about me.”

 

“YOUR ABUSIVE PARENTS DON’T OWN YOU, KILLUA!” Gon pulled the boy closer to him. “If you own my ass, then I claim this.” He rubbed his rear against his boyfriend’s pelvis. “And one day I’m going to ride it and you’ll forget about those assholes, because you’re going to be too busy marking me!”

 

Killua coed endearingly, “I do! I do…” He grabbed Gon’s hips, stopping the movement. “You know, my marks are because I…” Moving his mouth, he kissed a few bite marks on him.  “like you and care about you.” He paused, inhaling— _Gon._ “I want you to look at those permanent marks and think about my feelings for you and all our promises.”

 

If he had more courage, he’d say: “ _Plus seeing you marked up gives me a new way to view my bruises and cuts. When you said I’m attractive, I believe you. It makes me want to leave more marks to show my appreciation. But there isn’t enough room on your body._ ” One thing he did remember _the feeling of pleasure._ Killua loved the way each abrasive hit felt when he unloaded.

 

Gon gave a kiss on Killua’s forehead. “Scars, stitches, and stuff… That’s fine. Paint me with every emotion you feel for me.” He praised him. “You’re my tough guy, Killua!”

 

Gon's voice sounded so  _divine_ , like home and love and warm hugs, and Killua is just so sad and he  _misses...._ He's not sure what he misses. But he knows he's missing something and Gon always made up for that something. _Maybe it boosted his ego.... or gave him hope?_ More than likely, it just troubled Killua to hear Gon say that.

 

Killua removed his hands. Face dimming to be more sorrowful, "I know.” He croaked.

 

“We'll get through this, together…. alright? I mean..” Gon pulled at his short black hair. “Can you imagine just being ugly, Killua? Can you picture just having to..” A sniffle came as he withheld a sob.

 

Killua’s voice hushed down to a whisper, “Yes…” He quickly added, “At me. At me. At me.” Over and over again like it was some sad comical joke. It was easier to joke about his failures than actually face them.

 

“Scars don’t make something ugly, a personality does.” Gon comforted. “I used to be a really ugly person. I still am sometimes...I talk and laugh about people. I laugh at everyone and myself because life is easier to joke about, but not everyone gets my sense of humor.”

 

“Then I don’t think that’s your fault.” Killua confirmed, confidently offering his pinky finger. "If people get offended because you’re laughing having a good time, fuck them. You have me." His blue eyes were lustful yet still completely sincere. He pulled closer,  _always closer,_ as if he could somehow assimilate himself in Gon's body so they’d never have to be apart again.

 

A light smile caressed Gon's lips. He raised his pinky, locking them together.

 

The door was suddenly unlocked by a custodian. “What the heck you kids doing in an unauthorized area?”

 

Pupils dilated sharply in stormy blue eyes. “FUCKING FUCK!" Killua snapped, his powers finally awakening to full potential. He quickly pulled Gon under him and smashed his lightning popping hands on the main circuit behind them, burrowing his fingers into anything that might be hooked in the school’s power system.

 

Wide brown eyes gazed up, mortified at the performance. All the cramps and pain eased as if ice water had been dunked on his forming boner.

 

The custodian took off, “Police!”

 

Killua pulled away from the electric grid after seeing the light bulb pop from overheating. He shook his hands as if air drying them. Blue eyes dimmed as his lips curved up in a snarl. “Damn asshole.” He made a mental note to take revenge on the fool for interrupting their snuggles.

 

Gon’s voice and pointer finger trembled. His nail aimed at the fuse box that his boyfriend blown. He shouted at the top of his lungs, "GAAAAAAAAHHHH! What the fuck, Killua?!"

 

"I overdid it on purpose." Killua said, not wasting a second of escape time. "We have to go, while the school power is still knocked out."

 

That dirty deed done together at 14..... The night they both vividly remembered. _That night_ changed their lives. It was the first time Killua didn’t get trash talked for getting turned on by suffering; it was the first time Gon met someone with a kinky mind to rival his own. But more importantly those past actions created who they were today.

 


	14. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You keep me hope, my antidote  
> You are my dope, addiction soul  
> Addictin' soul, that's you, my love  
> Can't get enough  
> I need to feel your touch  
> I can't get enough”  
> ~Juice WRLD

Too many humans pondered the idea of how the human race came into existence. Instead what they should be pondering is not “ _how_ ” but “ _why_.” Why do people exist? Why do bad or good people have to exist?

 

The answer is obvious: If you don’t know good, then how could you know evil?

 

If all your life you’re taught evil, you would think it was good. You would blindly trust word for word what your parents told you, until you met someone who made you question everything you believed in.

 

When Killua was 8 years old, Gon made him question everything he believed in. Gon pointed out the _injustice_ of Killua’s situation. _He took pity on his soul._

 

A soft mushy part of Killua wanted that feeling again. He wanted that pure love and affection from Gon. He wanted that blind commitment.

 

"Let’s get lit!" Killua picked up Gon bridal style and took off at top speed. Each step, leaving the building further behind them.

 

"H-how are you so fast?" Gon was barely able to cry out over the wind rushing in their ears. Lightning zipped around Killua’s body, growing stronger by the minute. "It's like you're some undercover superhero in my comic book!"

 

Killua gave him a killer look, as his white hair stood up wildly. “Why do you like it?” He kicked into overdrive, "I call it, Godspeed." He bragged.

 

Gon _did_ think it was cool, it would be even _cooler_ if Killua wouldn't be using it to make them play hooky right now.

 

His heart was racing as his ears rang, his whole entire body throbbed from all the voltage flowing through his bones.

 

This _was_ freaky.

 

A real supernatural event that his sanity was having trouble comprehending.

 

“No! Playing hooky is not cool!” Gon lectured, he smacked the top of Killua’s head with his SAT book. "Let me down or I'm jumping!"

 

"Gon, you baka! Don't you dare, you'll hurt yourself, y-" Killua's jaw dropped as he felt the boy desert his grasp. Automatically, he stopped running to stay in the same frequency.

 

The short boy darted away from Killua in another direction. Strangely, it wasn’t the direction of school. Killua scrambled after him. They might have ran for at least another 15 minutes, until Gon was bent over and panting.

 

Inching forward, Killua reached over to put his hand on Gon’s backpack. Only a tearful voice choked out, “You shouldn’t have followed me here! This is the special place I come to clear my head!”

 

“Where else would I have gone? You think I can just leave you?” Killua said softly. A tinge of guilt erupting in his soul as it pegged him how wrong this was. He had chased Gon pretty far, all the way to the outskirts of town.

 

Hate burned in Gon’s brown eyes, as he whipped his head around to face Killua. “Yes! Get away from me.” He sneered harshly.

 

“Gon…”

 

“I can’t go back to school because of you, Killua! Heck, I can’t even go home! If my Aunt Mito finds out I skipped, I’m getting my ass beat! This is all your fault!”

 

“Don’t be scared! I can de-“

 

“Stop it! Don’t talk like that!”

 

“They hurt you, Gon! I won’t stop. I will never stop, until justice is served!” Killua took a sharp breath, “It pisses me off, alright? When people hurt what’s mine….I get so angry watching people treat you like shit!” Heated emotions flashed in blue orbs. “Why don’t you stand up for yourself?! You say snide remarks on the sly, you glare at them with hatred. But in the end…”

 

“YOU DON'T GET IT!” Gon fired back, tears stung the corner of his eyes. “Sure the bullying goes away. But the mental scars don’t. The feeling of being shoved around or laughed at for being yourself, sticks forever.”

 

Killua closed his eyes recalling the abuse. He hated thinking about it as much as he hated talking about it. “I can imagine being told you’re useless and stupid. I know the pain of hating your own flesh so much, you want to be someone else!” He clutched the fabric over his heart, “I couldn’t change who I was, but I changed how I acted. I used force to get respect!”

 

“Hush!” Gon stomped off. The rocks making a crunching sound as they rubbed against his shoes. “You don’t get it. We were born and raised different, you don’t get it..”

 

Killua confessed, “You’re right. While you were studying hard to get into a good college, I was plotting how to destroy the universe.” He kicked a small rock along the road, sticking close to Gon’s side. “But I learned......how to feel, how to react, how to _love_.” Pale fingers brushed over tan. “I learned that from you.”

 

Gon’s eyes focused on the ground below, searching for a familiar plot of land with a headstone. He felt a need to reaffirm that the reason he existed was to make amends.

 

Silence washed over them, as the sounds reduced to zero around Gon. The sun fell on his shoulders, a gust of wind blew through his short black hair, as his knees met the rough dirt.

 

He threw his arms around a small headstone. “Mommy!” His tears watered the small vase of flowers at the base.

 

There was a knot in Killua’s throat, one that had always been there and prevented him from saying anything to defend himself when it came to Gon. The feeling was one of demolition, because the more he thought about it— _the more upset it made him_.

 

Blue eyes were glued on Gon. The small boy melted into the stone, hugging it closely.

 

Gon blubbered out, “I fucked up so bad!”

 

A period of grief made the air stale between them. Gon’s heartbeat more anxious as Killua knelt beside him.

 

Killua corrected, “I fucked up...messed your son up.”

 

Gon frowned slightly. ‘ _Why did Killua even come over here?’_ Only to discover that there was sympathy in those usually cold blue eyes.

 

“It's my bad. Sometimes, I think I’m doing the right thing, but I’m not.” Killua took a determined breath, “Can you get mad at me? Gon had nothing to do with it.”

 

“I don’t think you understand, my mommy is dead. She can’t talk back.” Gon sniffled, wiping his eyes. He rubbed the stone, since it was the closest he could ever get to holding her hand.

 

Killua murmured, “I know. But she deserves to hear the truth.”

 

Gon didn’t know if it was pity or simply a snip of humanity that made Killua soften. The boy hugged the headstone harder, before letting go. He rolled back into the soil, grass meeting his face as the earth became his mattress.

 

“Do you ever wonder who breathed your air before you?” Gon asked, gazing up at Killua through the patches of green.

 

Killua shook his head. Growing up didn’t give him time to think about stuff like that. He knew that all oxygen was recycled turned into carbon dioxide only to get sucked in by trees and become oxygen again.

 

Softly, he grieved, “My mommy breathed my air before me.” Gon closed his sad brown eyes. “She breathed her last breath, when I breathed my first.”

 

When Gon spoke like this, he seemed extraordinary. Something that made Killua suddenly feel anxious and curious on how someone could possess such ideas.

 

Almost like Killua was a sunflower, which is a pretty ugly flower. It's disgusting….. too bright and a horrible yellow, with small yellow petals and long green stem. Always turning to wherever the glorious sun is.

 

But does the sun ever acknowledge that one sunflower?

 

It's only one among many. Nothing important, just an average sunflower in the field of thousands of other tall, ugly sunflowers. All heavily flawed and completely dependent on a star high above them.

 

_Gon was so high above Killua._

 

So bright when he smiled—the _sun_. Vivid, vibrant and mesmerizing, due to a phenomenal explosive brilliance that was blinding. An amazing never ending energy to destroy all darkness.

 

It was like nothing was unimportant to the sun.

 

Most exotic extravagant people wanted nothing to do with Killua’s dark gloomy soul, but Gon was trying to make him turn over a new leaf. Just like Killua would try to squint and endure the pain just so he could gaze upon Gon's magnificence.

 

Killua looked to Gon then to the head stone. “She was young.”

 

“Yeah, nice, kind and beautiful!” Gon marveled, recalling all the pictures aging would show him. “She was really pretty! She had long pretty black hai-“ He choked on the word, ‘ _hair’_ as he remembered his own was uneven and ugly.

 

His caramel fingers reached up to ruffle the top of his head, the short length brought nightmares. It was a terrible year for him—12 years old, he was desperate to find a meaning to his existence. And out of that desperate nature sparked his desire for love, _to give love._

 

“Did you think about getting long hair even be-?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You grew your hair out for 4 years because, you liked how your mom looked. She is your image of beauty.”

 

“She is my image of love.” Gon corrected, sucking up tears. “It's a tragedy, what happened to her. But no one else seems to think so.” He tugged on his strands of hair. His hairstyle was back to short and spiky, mirroring more of Ging’s rouge style than his mother’s beauty and grace. “Everyone else says, she loved me more than anything, more than traveling the world and hunting with Ging.”

 

“That’s deep.”

 

“Aunt Mito claims it’s an everlasting love.”

 

Killua blinked for a few seconds, letting the words sink in. That was a different kind of love right? The love between a mother and a son. It was strong. Killua didn’t think it was as strong as his love for Gon. Killua’s love was more ethereal. It was _physical_ and mental in adoration of Gon’s mind.

 

He didn’t get jealous. Gon loves his mommy. But Killua was sure, Gon also loves him.

 

He pressed his hand on Gon’s forehead. “Your image of love?” Killua stared at him long and hard. Observing his pink lips, soft chin and the rise and fall of his chest. Sun cutting gently through Gon’s short black locks, as blue sparks appeared on Killua’s fingertips—they sat there together.

 

_This…_

 

_Gon was Killua’s imagine of love._

 

The villain would never announce such a thing out loud but it was true.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Killua asked suddenly concerned for their future together. “I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t want to be mean like the bullies who hurt you. I want to...” He thought about it. _What did he want?_ To bring Gon home was the easy answer. But it wasn’t the time for that now. “Make you understand, you’re beautiful inside and out! Everyone else is just jealous of how lovely you are! I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love it...just hearing you breathe.”

 

Gon sat up. Brown eyes glued to blue as they searched for any hint of deceit. _There was none_. From the deepest part of his heart, Killua wanted to make Gon understand. He just didn’t know how and wasn’t sure how to show it yet.

 

“You’re trying. I thank you for that.” Gon uttered softly, “You’re bold enough to do more than my petty actions, you do what you want.” He sniffled more, “It stresses me out. Not like I can go home and tell anyone I’m being messed with...it will make everyone feel bad. Ging will blame himself and Aunt Mito will cry.” He shook his head, titling upwards to prevent shedding tears for some dumb bitches. “I just have to swallow down all my emotions. I lay in bed each night and let anxiety have its way with me. I’ll toss and turn, unable to sleep as the event replays…..all the other actions I _could_ have done replays.”

 

“Gon...I know how hopeless you feel.” Killua uttered, he looked at the grass swaying in the wind. “You feel doomed to faults. It seems like an endless cycle of sleepless nights filled with embarrassing memories. But those moments make you who you are.”

 

“And I would be much better without them! But no, I’m forced to co-exist on this planet with those assholes and see them and hear them, mock me everyday!”

 

“I offered to kill them!”

 

“Killing them will not destroy the memories that will linger in my brain forever! If they die, it only solves half the problem!”

 

“I don’t know why they have beef with you for something I did.”

 

“I don’t mind it. If everyone hates me, I’ll just hate them back. Choosing love.....loving your enemies, is so damn hard. Ignoring their threat to your happiness is so damn hard, because when they look, you’re irritated. But I don’t know how I can love myself or others…... When my brain is so screwed up. I only live for a short thrill of pleasure. But...I...I want to be a good person.”

 

“You are a good person, Gon. Good is just an adjective used to describe something. It’s an opinion.”

 

“But an opinion expresses who you are and how you feel.”

 

An understanding bloomed between them—they _felt_ the tension from things unknown and left unsaid. Their hands didn't touch, bodies didn't draw close to each other, eyes avoided contact. In a moment that should have been so awkward felt so normal.

 

Gon’s expression lightened up in a warm accepting manner, "When I die, I want to be more than an opinion. I don't know what I want to be.......But I always knew I existed to make up for the things my mommy can't do anymore."

 

"Well then, I'll help you!" Killua proposed, "What did your mom do?"

 

"She was a Hunter like Ging. She took online college, so she could volunteer a lot. It was like she always wanted to be a hero who helped others."

 

"You're going to go to college, Gon. That's one thing down."

 

"Yup."

 

"So, what did your mom hunt that she could never prove?"

 

"Oh.." Gon offered a hand to his boyfriend. Eagerly Killua took it, yanking Gon upwards. The both of them rising to their feet in perfect sync. "I already hunted him down." He nuzzled against the taller boy's shoulder blade, "It's just a matter of caring for him. Unlike my daddy, my mommy never killed any creature she hunted." He planted a feathery kiss on him, mumbling, "She fucked them."

 

Killua could have swore he heard the word, ' _fuck'_ but, he also swore he had to be imagining things. He took an uneasy breath, backing away from Gon. He shakily murmured, "C-can you repeat the last part? L-like...like what did she hunt? It wasn't some animal, right?"

 

Sweetly, a smile appeared on Gon's face, “All the action happening in my life, makes me feel like a hero. My mom must be so proud of me!”

 

Killua placed his hands on Gon’s shoulder, shaking him. “Hey, we’re together! And I swear to God!" He beamed down at his sweetheart. "I feel the same way! I mean, not like your mom or something, that be creepy. But I mean like your boyfriend. Hold on...I mean...shit!" He smacked his forehead with his palm. "I said, _I mean like_ three times! SHIT! I said that out loud!" His teeth grit, as blue eyes darted towards the ground. "I have no idea what I'm trying to say, so...I'll just... everyday you make me feel lo-“

 

Gon squealed, "Killua...What do you mean!?" He said that, but his eyes spelled out a different story. It wasn’t innocent or sappy— _too unapologetic_.

 

When big brown eyes blinked, it was a mystery like the smile resting on pink lips. Maybe it was because, Gon knew good, so he loves. Love wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to....so when it happens, _it just happens._ It was like an uncontrollable ‘ _superpower_ ’ that belonged to everyone.

 

But it made Killua feel so damn foolish.

 

The taller 16 year old laughed, “Haha! My..my bad! I....my words must confuse you.” Killua pulled Gon into a sweet hug, with his arm around his shoulder. He gave him a quick smack on the cheek with his lips. "It's so cute to see your reaction." Lowly, he took a mental note under his breath. "You said you like the thrill of pleasure...that’s why you like me around? I pleasure you.” He smiled endearingly. “I can't wait till you come home with me. I’ll pleasure you every night."

 

Gon blushed, his black hair jiggled as he shook his head. "Ya know, I've changed my theory from before, no superheroes exist in real life. The world is too evil, too cruel. But I'm convinced…" Biting his tongue for a quick second, vibrant excited eyes shimmered admirably at Killua. "That supervillains exist! You're a supervillain aren't you, Killua?"

 

Killua felt his heart stop, eyes shrinking in the white of his pupil. “Does it bother you?”

 

“Well you already told me you were a bad boy, but I really don’t think you’re that bad Killua!” Gon announced boldly,  “I agreed to be your boyfriend because I’m interested in _you_ ” He walked away from his mother’s grave, then paused, thinking about how he failed to deliver some important information. He turned back to his mother and pointed at Killua. “Mommy, also this hot headed gay disaster is my boyfriend. I have no clue what I’m doing with my life, but I really hope to follow in your footsteps. I'm going to make him into a better per-” A sideways glance was stolen at Killua, as Gon sized him up. “A better supernatural creature.” 

 

Killua’s face heated up. He quickly waved off the remark, “Gon! Y-you didn’t have tell her that!” He shoved his hands in his pocket meekly feeling like he’d just been dragged in their family tree.

 

“But say it now that you’re here! Didn't you say she needs the truth!” Gon encouraged, letting affection pour out in his tone. “Tell her more! Tell her you’ll protect, listen to me, and love me forever!”

 

“Ah! I….” Killua briefly lost his voice, as Gon taunted him. A few godforsaken images popped in his head from the hunger he had for Gon’s body. _If Gon wanted him to tell the truth, did it include that? Was it love or infatuation? Did his love extend to that_? Stiffening up, his pupils darted over to catch a glimpse of the smaller boy. “When it gets really dark in my life, I think about..” His blue orbs shakily fell back on the grave, “Your son. He picks me up when I’m down. I hope you don’t mind, me giving him the time of his life.”

 

There was no answer, but Gon seemed pleased that Killua obeyed his request.

 

Gon began running, he leaped over headstones. “Killua! Catch me if you can!” He waved his hands in the air, “And if you do! You might be rewarded!” He gave a subtitle-wink.

 

Killua produced a storm of electricity around his body. “You sure about that?” He appeared in front of Gon instantaneously, giving a little shrug. “I mean didn’t anyone ever tell you not to make a promise you can’t keep?”

 

Gon swerved, “Haha!” He leaped into the road. “Come at me then, Z-lit!” He opened his mouth again, but confusion stole his voice away. ‘ _Where did that name, Z-lit come from?’_ It sounded so familiar. Almost like it matched up with Killua….but Z-lit was like giving him a hero name. _A really bad hero name._

 

Cringe decorated Killua’s face, “You remember that name?”

 

“No.” Gon whispered. He stood still, as if time had froze. “But...it fits you.”

 

A sudden blur caught vibrant blue eyes as they shifted away from Gon. Killua narrowed them, spotting the large truck rocketing downhill at speeds of over 80 mph.

 

Killua's white locks blew past his face as his eyes grew wide, his pupils dilated sharply. He yelled, "GON!" His voice carrying in the wind.

 

The short boy whipped around, his hazel orbs turning ghostly. He let out a scream, then squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t say his life flashed before his eyes, because his life was more cheerful than the bitter memories of regret from everything that he could have done better. Fear constricted his airways—legs numbed, lungs burned, head throbbed, vision distorted…..and suddenly all the sensations dissolved like smoking hot flames succumbing to crystal water.

 

Killua jumped in front of him, cocking his fist back. He growled, "Stay away from my fucking boyfriend!"

 

Flesh met metal and the results sparked a mini explosion. It created a nasty sound from voltage burning the engine; an ear bleeding squeal of tires echoed insanely off the hills in the distance. To match the sound of such destruction, the truck got wrecked like it had been in an accident. The only remaining proof of their almost date with death, was the black tire marks embedded in the road.

 

The blue eyed boy hunched over, breathing heavily as he broke a nervous sweat. "Fuck... fuck fuck..." Killua looked around to check for witnesses. There didn’t seem to be anyone. He narrowed his eyes at the figure shifting around in the crashed truck. Under his breath he cursed, “Holy shit!”

 

Hesitantly, Gon cracked one eye open. He pressed his hands on Killua's back. "Is this the after life? Are we dead..?"

 

Killua barked, "No! But you should be!" He pointed his pale finger at Gon’s forehead. "What were you thinking? YOU FUCKING JUMP IN THE ROAD?!"

 

Gon looked equally discombobulated to match him. "Didn't you see? I was joking around! Didn’t you ever joke around with your siblings?" He paused, his eyes catching sight of the crashed truck. The truck looked so familiar.. It sorta looked like, _Kite’s truck_.

 

"Why would we joke like that? We do NOT joke! My siblings...me,  my parents were controlling. We didn’t have time to joke! They pressured the fuck out of…..and I don't want to! They were always pressuring me to be the best! No matter what it is….even if it's something I don't wanna do or be!" The white haired teen grimaced surprised at his own declaration that came out his mouth….. maybe he was just venting at this point. Emotions grabbed hold and suffocating him. "It's not bloody fair! None of it fucking is!"

 

"Killua..." Gon called out, in a completely pissed off tone that matched his contorted facial expression. He slipped their hands together guiding him to the sidewalk. "You should stop talking about that, it's making you create an ugly face. I decided that I hate seeing people make faces like that especially you, Killua."

  
  
"Tch..who?" Killua made a fist, trying to act tough. "Who do you think you're giving orders to?" His blue eyes grew hazy and cloudy, like his heart and mind, filled with feelings he couldn't start to describe.

 

"You." Gon said fiercely, "I don't like seeing people upset." He made sure his brown eyes met blue. "I won’t force you. But today's been wild..so...We can talk about what really went down today, whenever you're ready."

 

Killua’s mind drew blank on what to say. Gon leaned over, pressing butterfly touches on his fluttering eyelids trying to burn out his flames of anger. The white haired boy croaked out warily, "I-...I’m never gonna be ready until you come home with me."

 

Gon's face softened like butter heated up in a microwave, completely gushing raw sympathy. He shook his head. Hazel eyes dazzled as he said firmly, "I should have known you’d say that. I have to give you points on persistence."

 

“You’re not mad?”

 

“No.”

  
  
"But..you almost died. I finessed reality again!”

 

"I know. It would have been awesome to meet my mom, but I knew that wouldn’t happen with you around, Killua!"

 

The taller teen gulped, barely able to find his voice. “How much...do you remember?” Killua turned his head to the side. A howl of frustration passed his lips, “Outside of what you already told me."

 

Sweetly, Gon muttered in Killua's neck, "I remember enough, to know you won't hurt me." His hot breath tickled the sides, sending burst of lightning bolts down Killua’s spine. He squeezed their locked hands together, raising them in the air like a symbol of their love. "You can't ever hurt me, Ki-" A smirk claimed his lips, “Z-lit.”

 

Killua chuckled lowly, his ocean blue eyes flashed. "You do know, I'm a killer, right?" The words felt bittersweet on his tongue. But it was the truth. He might as well have asked the impossible question of, ' _How to you get to the core of a problem if the problem is you?_ '

  
  
Gon gently pushed a strand of Killua’s white hair to the side. "You’re my boyfriend. Don't let anyone else label you. So don't call yourself a killer unless you murder for no good reason."

  
  
Killua was tempted to ask, ' _If I murder for you, is that a good reason?'_ But words are just sounds that people _give_ value.

 

Words with no value, is like money with no value associated to it—nothing more than a thought brought into existence.

 

Killua wanted to believe there was value in Gon's words.

 

A smirk came on Killua's lips, "Don't expect much, I can't do any good,” His soft blue eyes fell on Gon tenderly; his hands grazed over the smooth skin. He purred at the rose colored blush on his cheeks. “So I do bad and benefit from that."

 

"Don't doubt yourself, Z-lit. I'm sure you can do some good….I mean you just saved my life!" Gon hummed pleasantly. He was about to say more before a car door slammed.

 

A tall silver haired man stepped out the truck. His small dark eyes squinted trying to catch sight of them. “Gon? What in the hell…?”

 

“Kite!” Gon, backed away from Killua. Innocently, he threw a hand up to wave. “Hey… I was just, checking out my mommy’s final resting place.”

 

The man tipped his hat down, a shadow crossing his face. “Really? Then what the freak… just happened to my truck?” Kite sounded pissed. “It looks like something, inexpiable…”

 

“Heh? Come on now, Kite. I thought you gave up being crazy like Ging and believing in all that supernatural, junk.”

 

“Junk? Oh.. wait, you probably can’t see him, huh?”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s fine.” Kite reached back in his vehicle. When he revealed himself once more, there was a gun in his hand. He aimed the weapon at Killua’s head. “I’ll take care of the supernatural freak for you.”

 

Gon cut his eyes to the side in disbelief. _Kite can see Killua?_ His brain answered it’s own shock, ‘ _He used to hunt for supernatural freaks with Ging. Of course, he can see Killua.’_

 

There was a nervous look in Killua’s eyes as he mouthed the words, “Gon, when you said your parents were hunters that traveled the world, was there a reason you didn’t specify what they hunted?” 

 

Gon nodded his head, “R - U - N!”


	15. Of comic books and supervillains

Running by definition: the action or movement of a runner.

 

Killua was so tired of all the running that he had to do today. Killua was a fighter, not a runner. He enjoyed to fight the power and rebel to anything just for a quick fling.

 

“Listen!” Killua panted out, “This is just a huge misunderstanding!” His blue eyes glowed eerily as a bullet whizzed past his head. He ducked, the projectile grazing a bit of his white locks. “I mean that human no harm!” He pointed back at Gon.

 

The boy watched wide-eyed with his mouth agape in horror, as Kite fire rounds at Killua. The loud shooting, gave him goosebumps.

 

Killua pleaded, “I just wanted to help!” His ears rang as the weapon reloaded.

 

‘ _He’s not stopping!’_ Killua thought in a wild panic. He jumped over headstones like they were hurdles on a track. ‘ _He is really trying to bust a cap in me!’_

 

Things always got interesting when the predator, became the prey. Stuff like this was common for animals who thought they were on the top of the food chain, only to meet their match.

 

Killua had met his match—Kite.

 

The man walked forward calmly, crushing anything in his way—grass, flowers, headstones. He didn’t care. Kite was in sicko mode. His small beady eyes completely focused on ending their target. Nothing would get in his way.

 

Killua was too busy looking back to dodge bullets, that he didn’t pay attention to what was in front of him. He let out a yell, as his foot knocked into a tree root.

 

The sudden contact broke his Godspeed run and sent him tumbling to the ground. His face ate the dirt, making the taste of blood hit his lip. A few bullets pierced him, nailing pain in his flesh. He cussed, “Fuck! Fuck!” He scrambled like an egg before he could get folded like an omelet.

 

Killua rose to his feet, to be slapped back down by the barrel of Kite’s gun. The tall man looming over menacingly as he gave a monsterous expression.

 

Killua timidly backed away, until he pressed against a headstone. A rotten feeling bubbled in his gut that he _might_ have one soon. More bullets met his skin, making agony rattle his body.

 

“Tch, dang it.” Kite fired a few more rounds in Killua’s chest. He growled, “You’re not gonna die are you? You infused your heart to bond with some poor unfortunate human.” Slightly, he lowered his weapon.

 

Killua trembled, the taste of his own blood still lingering on his lips. His body convulsed as darkness invaded his vision. He laid there helplessly as a rough kick was delivered to his side.

 

Kite shook his head grimly. His long silver hair blowing in the wind as he turned his back. The man slowly walked away. “You stay far away from that boy with were with. Next time I see you bothering him, I’ll track down your human bond and kill the both of you.”

 

Killua furrowed his brow. All he could think of was how he needed to get to Gon. _How dare this person try to keep them apart!_ Bitterly, he wheezed out, “I saved Gon from your crazy driving you, asswipe!”

 

“Huh?” Kite’s head turned profile, to catch a glimpses of the bloody mess he produced. “You know his name?”

 

Killua hated the way he talked. He talked like he was some champion or something. Killua let him win! He spared his life on a limb, because Gon would be mad at him if he didn’t. Yet he couldn’t yell such facts at the top of his lungs. He was in too much agony.

 

Shakily rising to his feet, an aching pain formed in his upper abdomen. He spat out a reason that wouldn’t incriminate his sweetheart. “I heard you say it earlier, baka human!”

 

Kite didn't let that last part go. He hissed, "OH NO, I’m no baka. But you’re gonna wish I was..... We both know that I'm legally not allowed to commit murder to an actual human. But if legislation ever gets through congress that allows crimes to be legal for a day, I'd advise you to tell your human bond to get some impregnable armor because I will SHOOT YOU within an inch of DANG life. And the only reason that I'm saying DANG, is because I'm the adult here and supposed to set a DANG FREAKING GOOD EXAMPLE, but you can bet I'm thinking of a different word."

 

Nervously, Killua pointed between them. "You...me, Gon. Wait.. what the fuck?" He yelled, “YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS!”

 

Kite tipped his hat. Blowing off the smart ass comment, he kept walking. He didn’t mind where the stupid creature was going now. He had proved his point.

 

When Gon came into view, Kite motioned for him to get in the truck.

 

At the sight of blood splattered randomly on Kite’s outfit, Gon got nervous. He felt his heart drop to his stomach as he attempted to keep an emotionless face. “Hey, Kite! What..what did you run off for?”

 

Kite shrugged his shoulders carelessly, “Bad vibes, hanging out around you is all.” He slapped the bent up hood. “See? It broke my truck.”

 

“No. you swerved into the tree.” Gon lied. He choose the obvious lie, that someone without the ability to see beyond would say. “I saw you.”

 

Kite sighed, “Yeah.” He just left it at that.

 

“I doubt this thing will drive.”

 

“It’s tragic. First your Aunt’s tires get slashed, now my truck is wrecked. What are the odds that on both occasions, _you_ happen to be there?”

 

Cutting his brown eyes to the side, Gon tried to advert Kite’s hounding gaze. A rotten feeling was forming in his gut. “Guess it’s a weird coincidence…?”

 

“Do you really believe in mistakes and coincidences?” Kite scoffed, not buying Gon’s words for a second. “I mean, you’re Ging’s son after all. Surely, you might consi-”

 

Gon climbed in the truck. “Actually, I only believe in superheroes. Heroes help people. It looked to me that whatever supernatural forces you claim, was trying to help me.” He slammed the door harshly and pouted.

 

“Gosh, I’m just trying to look out for you.” Kite sighed. His eyebrows met each other in a look of worry, as he got in the driver’s seat. He cranked it, his vehicle sputtering back to life just to die again a few seconds later. Once more Kite sighed, this time more irritated. “What were you doing cutting school anyway?”

 

“I told you, I wanted to visit my mother’s grave.”

 

“We just visited a few days ago.”

 

“I know but going with you, Ging, and Aunt Mito isn’t the same as going alone. Being by myself just feels more special.”

 

“Okay. But why were you running in the street?”

 

“Well….” Gon had a sly smirk on his lips, as he leaned his chair back. “I'm attracted to thrills. I don't look both ways before crossing the street. I don't watch my back at night.” He tossed his short bangs up, brown eyes darkening at the sight of Killua. The boy was limping away in another direction. “I’m searching for monsters. Specifically, a boy with knives for teeth and claws instead of hands. I'm looking for the hurt, for someone that can cause permanent damage. So I can change them. Take all their incredible abilities and make them into my hero, Z-lit.”

 

“Are you trying to sound like your mother?” Kite challenged, raising an eyebrow. “In real life change doesn’t come that easy.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Anyway, let’s call a tow. You can hang at my house. But you have to call your Aunt later.”

 

Gon peeped out, “Thanks.”

 

Why did people always shoot down ideas or things that were extraordinary? Why not let them develop? See what they have to say, before they meet death? It might be because such a thought was insane.

 

Insane.

 

In order to be able to see things beyond, you must have a touch of insanity still lingering in your blood.

 

But to know insanity you must know sanity.

 

* * *

 

Best thing about this time of the year were the pretty flowers that had bloomed in bright vibrant colors. They were lovely and eye catching, miraculously strong to survive in such harsh heat. Yet also ever so delicate and fragile enough to have their life ended by being crushed too many times. It was a balance, that kept them alive. Balance that kept them beautiful. 

 

“There is a need for balance, sanity and insanity, go hand in hand with good and evil.” Alluka mumbled under her breath, her eyes glued to the lovely patch of flowers outside the window. She put the finishes and touches on her sketch.

 

She noticed a blur blow past the flowers, the poor things getting demolished. At first she gasped, then narrowed her eyes. "Big brother!” She squealed in surprise.

 

Killua pressed his wrecked face on the window. He mouthed the words, “How long till school is out?”

 

“A few more minutes!” Alluka panicked. She gave him an uneasy glance, “What happened to you? What are you doing here?!”

 

“Hmm?” A mop of shaggy brown hair moved to reveal adorable yellow eyes. “Did you say something? Is my elbow bumping yours again?”

  
  
Alluka froze, nervousness filling her as she took notice of her elbow bumping with… “Zushi!” She peeped out, giving him some attention. She rubbed her elbow against his a bit harder. “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! We are rubbing elbows now! They are rubbing a lot! Do you like it?”

 

Skillfully, her eyes cut back to see her brother. “Explain later. Meet me outside.” Killua crept away. 

 

“Haha! Alluka!” Zushi laughed, making him drop his pencil next to his sketch pad. “You know, I’m ticklish! Why are you doing this?”

 

The substitute teacher rose from her seat. “Is something going on over there?”

 

Brushing some of the hair from her face, Alluka eyeballed the woman. “No,” She stole a glance at the name on the board. “Ms.Freecss.” A charming smile came on her face. “We’re just doing our nature sketches.” The words came easy to her, getting out of sticky situation was second nature to a Zoldyck.

 

The short orange haired woman strolled over to the table. Her hazel eyes caught a glimpse of Alluka’s pretty art book and Zushi’s blank sketch pad. "Come on, I know everyone has an artistic bones in them. They just have to dig deep and take in the world around them." She promoted, twirling the air particles. "Even my nephew, he’s around your age."

 

Zushi attempted not to hear her.

 

“I met him before!” Alluka was too nice to ignore anyone. Too kind to disregard anyone’s comment because, _everyone is important._ If everyone wasn’t important then…. _why did all their lives intertwine and depend on each other’s existence?_ “His name is Gon, right? It’s Gon Freecss.”

 

The woman nodded, “That’s him. You’re a friend?”

 

Alluka sweetly hummed. She wondered if the nice lady remembered meeting her and Kalluto when they tracked Gon on Killua’s birthday. “I know him through my big brother.”

 

“He’s a junior?”

 

“He doesn’t go to school, too busy raising me and my little brother.”

 

“Oh.”

 

An overcast of worry clouded the teacher’s face. Alluka stared at her blankly. She didn’t get why the woman had gotten troubled by this. Killua was doing a _good_ thing. But it was best not to pry on humans too much. Humans were really sensitive.

 

Zushi scribbled a few lines on paper. “This look like a tree to you?”

 

The woman gave a reassuring smile, “Anything can be art.”

 

“That wasn’t my question and I was asking Alluka.” Zushi huffed, pressing his lead down on the paper. He smacked his lips in an annoyed manner, “All you get paid to do is give out busy work and sit. Go do your job.”

 

“Actually, I like to try and help stu-”

 

“You’re not helping.”

 

The teacher sighed and walked away. She mumbled under her breath, “You better watch your mouth.”

 

“I was not being rude. I didn’t say anything out of line. I said facts.” Zushi threw his pencil on the table, then shook his head. “I _could_ have said something disrespectful about you, but I didn’t.” He shrugged his shoulders, “I mean our _real_ art teacher Mr.Wing wouldn’t care. He was definitely max chill.”

 

Alluka put a hand on her friend’s shoulder, ending his ranting. Disappointment filled her. She was there when Mr.Wing’s family was slaughtered. She tried to do something, but she wasn’t strong enough to stop Killua. _She didn’t know if she would ever be._ She wondered: Did Killua felt any remorse? Did Killua feel any sorrow or regret? Did Killua contain any emotions to justify a snip of humanity? _Her_ big brother would _feel_ these things, because these were the same things he felt when they were locked away. But for now all she could do was trust Killua.

 

The Killua, that hopelessly loves Gon. The Killua, that Alluka hated she didn’t comprehend anymore. The Killua, that saved her and Kalluto.

 

The end of the day bell rang loudly. The substitute quickly informed the class, "Alright everyone, tomorrow I’m not taking any disrespectful tones.” Her eyes widened as she blinked rapidly in Zushi’s direction. “Also Mr.Wing said the nature piece is due when he comes back.” She clapped her hands. “Work diligently!"

 

A bunch of students started to pack their things away, happily chattering among themselves.

  
  
“Mr. Wing will be....” Alluka rubbed Zushi’s shoulder, “back soon. So don’t worry.”

 

Zushi blew off the comment, “I know that.” His expression darkened. “I KNOW HE’S COMING BACK! But it doesn’t matter when or how soon! Damn it, even for a grown man...He just lost his family last night to some crazy fucker who murdered them!”

 

Alluka struggled to breath. She couldn’t believe Zushi just called Killua, a “ _crazy fucker._ ” A part of her wanted to yell, “ _He’s not crazy! He’s just mentally sick. Killua needs Gon to get better. Love and Gon will heal him then these little sacrifices will be like nothing, when we’re a happy family.”_

 

“You heard what the principal said! He said that Mr. Wing lost his family in a jewelry store fire! That doesn’t even make any damn sense! If the store was close, why were they in there? Why was anyone in there? The story is not right… The police even said when they went to ask Mr. Wing questions, he claimed the last time he saw them was when they took his baby brother out for a stroll. They were supposed to come back and have dinner! The man is only 25, he just graduated college and this happens! Why does...such terrible stuff happen to nice people? The world is so unfair.” Zushi took a deep breath, trying to control his rage.

  
  
Alluka slowly let go of Zushi. She muttered, “Awe, he was your favorite teacher wasn’t he?” Her voice grew soft as guilt replaced disappointment.

 

“I get you’re a new student and this probably doesn’t mean much to you, but THIS IS A BIG DEAL!” Zushi said sternly, shoving his supplies away in his bag.

 

Alluka struggled to match speed, “Hey, wait up!” The bottom of her dress gathered dust, as she stumbled to catch up with Zushi. “You’re not mad at me, right?” She called out, entering the hallway.

 

“Mad at you?” Zushi froze in his tracks. He whipped around, to see Alluka pushing through a crowd of kids. He snatched her smaller hands up. “Of course not!”

  
  
“Heh?” Alluka gave a confused grin. She looked at Zushi, wondering if he was about to get on one knee and give a wedding proposal.

 

“I would never ever be upset enough to blame you for out of your control! Don’t ever think that!” Zushi shouted in the most tender way he could muster. He squeezed her hands, “You are too pure and sweet to say such things!”

 

She wanted to tell Zushi about everything—at home, her family, the terrible situation.

 

“You really believe, I’m nice and pure?”

 

“Of course!”

 

A malicious grin stole Alluka’s lips, “Well that’s a pretty stupid thing to believe. All it takes is a beautiful fake expression to hide an injured soul and they will never find out how broken you really are. Probably because humans are good at ignoring things they don’t want to acknowledge.”

  
  
Confusion washed over Zushi as he let go of Alluka’s hands. He inspected her carefully, “What does that mean?”

 

“What I just said!” Alluka giggled, flipping her long pretty purple hair. “But I like you, Zushi. You’re pretty fly for a human.” She poked his cheeks, as if he was her toy doll.

 

“Hey, Zushi!” A girl called out, waving. “Hey, Alluka!”

 

Alluka gave a wave back at the group of kids walking over to them. Cheerfully, she hummed, “How’s it going?”

 

“Oh, sup!” One of the girls from the group said smiling at her. “We were just talking about any advantages we have being a girl. There aren’t many.”

  
  
“Yeah…” A female with brown hair said, applying some more lipstick on her lips. “So I said, girls don’t have dicks.”

 

Alluka stared at her like she was stupid for a few seconds. “Umm… yes they can.” She argued, motioning to her dress. “Girls can definitely have dicks.”

 

“Huh?” The girl looked at Alluka, dropping her makeup almost in shock. “You’re trans?” She observed Alluka carefully, “Wow, you don’t look gay.”

  
  
Alluka knew she shouldn’t have taken such offense to that comment. But it _still_ irked her. “Umm, I’m not gay. I’m straight. I’m a girl.”

 

“You had surgery?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then how are you a girl? Wouldn’t that mean, you’re still in transition?”

  
  
“Well actually, some trans people do like they them pronouns, but I just like to be called she/her. I mean, gender is all mental anyway. Sex is just the body part you're born with and it doesn’t really mean anything. People decided for themselves who they wanna be. That’s why there is genderfluid and nonbinary people. Some people basically don’t fall anywhere on the gender spectrum and some people fall everywhere on the gender spectrum! And that’s all right! Gender is one of those mental things, just like who people love is.”

 

The brown haired girl’s blank face seemed to mold into one of a newly entertained activist. “Oh my God! You are so awesome! Taking a stand like that!”

 

“What do you mean?” Alluka said, almost baffled. “I'm just being myself… Sure I hate stereotypes because they're a constant obstacle for many people. I do believe the world would be a much better brighter happy place with no stereotypes, period.” She pushed open the front doors to exit the building. “Bec-”

 

“Science keeps changing all the time. But one thing that has always existed is people with free will to be and love who they want.” Zushi cut in. He winked at Alluka, “How’s that for human knowledge?”

 

“Oh, I’m quaking the human is intellectual.” Alluka teased cheekily, a smile coming on her face. It felt easier to smile and relax when chatting with Zushi.

 

“Why? Are you _not_ human?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“You're too gullible! It's cute!”

  
  
“I-I-well…” Zushi’s face went red, “You think I'm cute?”

 

“Yeah,” Alluka mumbled.

 

“I--I--think you….you’re cute too!” Zushi babbled. A moment of strangeness washed over them all of a sudden. The boy looked at his other friends, making kissy faces and drawing hearts around him and Alluka. They were so damn immature. He rolled his eyes, then changed the subject. “I also umm.. like your charm bracelet.”

 

“Oh?” Alluka twisted her wrist around, making the charms clatter. “This? My big brother got it for me at the jewelry store.” She didn’t tell how it was the same jewelry store where the murder took place.

 

“Wow! He must really love you….That looks so expensive.”

 

“I know! My family is much nicer now. We get stuff!”

 

A girl in their small friend group let out a little shout. “I have to get going! I think my mom is here!”

 

Alluka nodded understandingly. “Yeah, Zushi and I should get going too! We usually walk home together.” She noticed how a few kids whistled or screwed up a brow, pressuring her to correct how suspect it sounded. “Because I’m new here and barely remember the way.”

 

“Hey, you both walk towards the mountains too?” The brown haired girl smiled, “Do y'all mind if I tag along?”

 

The first thing that crossed Alluka's mind was, ‘ _Yes, I do mind. This is usually Zushi and I’s time to bond together_.’ Guiltily, she bit her lip, until she saw a pale hand behind a tree. “I….I have to go to my brother!” She blurted, walking in his direction. “I’ll just walk back home with him.”

 

“Alluka are you leaving?” Zushi said disappointedly. He moved his head to scan the area, “I don’t even see anyone who looks like they can be your brother.”

 

All the loud students made it easier for Alluka to pretend that she didn't hear him. Sometimes it was best to act like stuff never happened, even if the stupid fact and memory will stay with you forever.

 

“Hey, sis!” Killua coughed out. He kept a smile on his face, despite the pain shooting through his body. “How was school?”

 

Alluka gave him a sideways look. “Big brother!” She pressed a hand on a large cut on his face. “What happened to _you_ is the real question!”

 

“I..got in a fight with...with a...!” Killua let out a quiet groan of agony. He sank to the ground, keeping his back pressed up against the tree. “I got in a fight with… with a hunter.”

 

“Damn, and you walked all the way here!” Alluka cringed at all the at the gunshot wounds. “You could have passed out from blood lost! Plus!” She darted her eyes around to make sure no one could see them, then lowered her voice. “I’m in middle school. Most people can still see us. They haven’t really found their place in society yet. Coming here was really risky.”

 

“You were the only one who I could turn too!” Killua insisted, as more blood stained his shirt. “Kalluto doesn’t go to school, and I couldn’t walk back home like this!”

 

Alluka crossed her arms, “You can make better decisions! Besides I thought you were with Gon. How did you get that much battle damage? Being with Gon should have healed you!”

  
  
“I wasn’t able to get him. He went with the hunter.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Killua shakily lifted his hand on her shoulder. “Alluka...you have to teleport me back home.”

 

Alluka inhaled sharply, pulling away from Killua. Her blue eyes caught sight of Zushi with the brown haired girl. They looked so happy together. It bothered her.

  

“Yeah, of course…” She mumbled, sarcastically. “What else would I do?”

 

“Well..." Killua teased, pointing at Zushi. "You look at him like he's a guy that you'd sorta be into.”

 

The facial expression that washed over Alluka was enough proof for Killua to put the pieces together himself. “W-whyy.. wha-aah, w-w..weeaah!? Makes..mak-why say that?” She squealed, pushing Killua's finger down. “Honestly, what's your deal!?”

 

“If you like him, I won't hold you back from being with him.” Killua winked, “I'm proud of you picking out a dignified young man like that.” 

 

“I-I-I…” Alluka’s face lit up like a bright red traffic light. “Am I..tha-thaat, obvious?! I m-mean.. I'm not shy! I-I-Don't….I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU KNOW!”

 

“Dang! You'd be a cute couple is all!” Killua encouraged. He wanted to do his best to support his little sister. She had always been there when he needed reassurance about Gon. So he nudged her side, “Or at least, a cute boy to give your heart to!”

 

Alluka moped, “I'm so pathetic… I called him cute and all he could do was say it back!” She rested her head on Killua's chest. “Darn it! Zushi will never see me as a woman! Why am I this way!?”

 

Killua rubbed her back in a comforting manner. “There, there… I don't think you're pathetic. And if I find someone who does, I’ll kill them.” He flashed another smile at his sister, “I think you're a mature young woman.”

 

“It doesn’t matter what you think, you’re my big brother!” Alluka complained. She let out a sigh and hugged him. “Let’s just get out of here.”


	16. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gon is a big mood.

Everyone comes in this world, clueless, wet and alone. Some people leave the world the exact same way.

 

So what is the reason for that? The reason to be born and do nothing with your life. Nothing to the point you leave out, the same way you came in. Yes, nobody ask to be created. Their parents wanted kids or their parents had an accident. But you’re still here.

 

Gon took a sharp breath— _him breathing_ ...that was the sound of being _alive_. While people were alive, they could make a difference in the world.

 

The world was hypothetical, _‘their oyster_ ’ so people should act like it. Make it better.

 

Gon was in hot water, but it was for a good reason. He was in trouble for: Choosing to skip school and hang out the rest of the day with his boyfriend. The _good_ reason was he’d managed to connect with Killua.

 

Everything would have been fine if Kite never would have showed up….and EVEN BETTER if he didn’t attack Killua.

 

Slumping against the sofa, Gon mashed the buttons on his controller. “Yeah. Eat my rubber fist. Luffy got mad t-”

 

“Gon, you should call your aunt.” Kite called, from the kitchen.

 

The 16 year old was busy taking out his frustration on the unfortunate soul fighting him in Jump Force.

 

“Gon!!”

 

A voice came in his ear, “Yeah, use his ult-“

 

Gon shook slightly. “Killua?”

 

He was relieved to hear his boyfriend, “Yes. I need help! I-“

 

The transmission of Killua’s words to Gon’s ears were wrecked by Kite. Killua wasn’t taking any chances with a dangerous hunter around.

 

Kite got between Gon and the screen. “I will rip this out right now.” He narrowed his eyes, as Gon ignored his words.

 

“Move! I can’t pause! THIS IS AN ONLINE MULTIPLAYER GAME!” Gon shouted, raising the wireless controller in the air to signal Killua to talk.

 

Killua didn’t say anything.

 

Kite turned the tv off. “I didn’t bring you to my house to play games.” He told him sternly.

 

Gon threw his controller down. “Wow! Yeah! So last time I checked you’re not my parent!”

 

“Gon…”

 

“No.” Gon shook his head, “I’m not doing this. I don’t want to and shouldn’t have to explain myself to you.” He stood up, ready to leave. “If you wanted me out after dinner y-“

 

“Sit and call your Aunt.” Kite sighed, rubbing his temples. “It's late and you’re not walking home at night.” He moved away from the tv, to put a hand on Gon’s shoulder. “Just calm down, okay? I get it. Today hasn’t been the best day for you and-“

 

“Don’t cut me off and talk to me like you understand something!” Gon snapped bitterly. “You don’t know.” He didn’t know where all this salt was coming from, he figured it was because he witnessed Kite try to kill his boyfriend. Plus Kite didn’t even care to acknowledge or hear Killua out before he attacked. Gon hated that kind of toxic behavior. He slapped Kite’s hand away from him, “You didn’t give him a chance! That type of kill everyone is only cute in video games, in real life that crap is sick.”

 

Kite took a few steps back, conceding Gon’s request. He sat on the couch and gave a look: “ _I’m not letting you back on the game until you call your aunt.”_

 

“I don’t need the game!” Gon walked towards the front porch. “I can go home and play my own game.”

 

He swung the door open, a chilly breeze hitting his face. Oddly, he felt more comfortable out here. Kite couldn’t see him and no one could tell him what to do.

 

He was outside. He wasn’t in anyone’s house.

 

The black haired boy jammed his feet in his shoes. The wind hit the chimes as a translucent version of Killua appeared. “Gon!” The boy’s voice was desperate. “What are you doing?”

 

“Brooding.” Gon rolled his eyes. “I’m sick of everyone bossing me around! All my life, everyone bosses me around!” He keeled down, to tie his shoes. His mind sparked up a few memories, “Even you, Killua!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Even you boss me around! You make decisions for me! You do stuff I never ask you!”

 

Killua leaned in for a kiss. Gon pouted and closed his eyes in annoyance. The taller boy nudged him, “Come on, let’s not get all riled up. This day has been stressful enough.” His blue eyes softened as he gave him a delicate kiss. “Let me channel your rage. Alright, baby boy?"

 

Gon recoiled at the smell of blood. “I don’t think you, understand. I _want_ to feel this, Killua! These emotions, the hate, the longing for freedom!” His eyes fluttered open at the realization, “This is what makes me, human!”

 

Killua’s face flooded with anguish. "What are you talking about?"

  
  
“Something that…” Gon pushed hurtful words down his throat. “It’s just all my life...how many experiences.. WERE _MY_ EXPERIENCES?“ He listed stuff, on his fingers. “My first kiss was you! My first wet dream wasn’t even a dream but a sexual encounter with you!” A bit of guilt found its way in Killua's heart as he saw pretty brown eyes water as they looked at him pathetically. “Then recently the car tire making us late, the whole thing to make the Phantom Troupe hate me, and Kite’s car crash!” He yanked Killua by the collar, “YOU DID ALL THAT! I DID NOTHING! I HAD NO CHOICE! YOU FINESSE REA-”

 

"Damn!" Killua cussed. “Listen, Gon I did all those things because I just wanted to be by your side.”

 

Gon's somber expression spoke for itself: ‘ _I'm sick of people controlling me!’_ Tears rolled down his face as his body trembled.

 

"Okay! I get it! Controlling people’s so called destiny or fate is wrong. While people are alive they should be able to make their own decisions.” Killua lifted up his top to wipe the tears and snot rolling down Gon's face.

 

In revolt, Alluka appeared. She hissed in a disgusted manner, "Ew! Don't wipe your nasty bloody shirt on his face!"

 

"What? Gon likes the smell of me?" Killua blurted, perplexed at his sister. "Plus, I need to wipe his face."

 

"Still it's nasty body fluids!" Alluka dug around in her purse for some tissues. "If you're gonna wipe someone's face at least do it right!"

 

"I'm trying!" Killua ran his shirt over Gon's forehead, deciding it wouldn't hurt to clean all of his face.

 

Alluka frantically handed tissues to Killua. "Take it! TAKE IT!"

 

Killua snatched the tissues from her hand. He applied them to Gon's skin in a messy fashion. "Uhh..uhh! There?"

 

"What the heck are you doing? He looks like a mummified tissue monster!"

 

Gon cried more.

 

"Gon! What do you want to hear? I’m sorry, okay?” Killua exclaimed, “I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!" He nervously rearranged the tissues over the snotty flesh.

 

"It's not rocket science or like you're performing open heart surgery!"

 

"Yeah, I would just go for it and give ZERO FUCKS."

 

Alluka grabbed her brother's wrist, "Stop it! Just stop it! You can't force happiness!" She yanked down Killua to her height level. She harshly sneered in his ear, "BE MORE CHILL!"

 

Blue eyes went wide, heeding to his little sister's advice. Killua gently knocked all the tissues off his boyfriend's face. "Gon, why do you cry so much all the time?"

 

Gon sniffled, wiping his nose. "Ask me that again, Killua. But look into my eyes."

 

 _'Why am I going to see nothing but water?_ ' Is what Killua wanted to ask, but his little sister was supervising.

 

Alluka gave him another stern look, as her image began to flicker. She gasped, “I don’t have enough power to sustain us both.” She pointed at Killua’s chest warningly, “Come back soon, so I can properly teleport Gon over here.”

 

Killua gave a nod and Alluka faded away. The human was mad. The supernatural boy could tell it was frustration compelling him to act in such a way.

 

Killua spoke from his soul, "Gon, please, forgive me. You know how I get sometimes? If I lose my shit, who knows what might happen?" A creepy smile crossed his lips. He reached up to grab his heart. "I'll be so shattered. I might just go on a murder spree. I'll take out everyone and everything in my path."

 

The sound of his voice is what _really_ got to Gon. Killua didn't sound like he was playing around. Every syllable out his mouth was filled with truth. On command, Killua was ready to wreck anyone for him.

 

Gon muttered bitterly, "If your so sorry, then why? I mean.." He gulped down tears, “If my life changed based on prior incidents, your actions then changed mine now.”

 

Killua breathed heavily, the place where Gon touched him tingled. The warmth from the area spread through his body to stop the bleeding. He let out a surprised gasp, “I need YOU to LIVE! That’s why! Your existence rebounds mine.”

 

"For so long, I kept thinking everything was my fault!" Gon exclaimed hysterically, “But it’s been _your_ fault!” He pointed at Killua. “And..I’m so sad you got hurt because of me.” His voice acquired a demented tone, “But I also felt like you deserved it! Isn’t that so wrong? I threw you under the bus to make myself feel better while still using your injury as a reason to get mad at Kite!" He grit his teeth, internally cringing. "Sometimes I just fucking...hate, I'm going to ki- break my neck! Why am I like this?”

 

Killua brought his hands to touch the bullet holes in his chest. “I’ve done so many mean things. So you’re right, I do deserve it.” He took a shaky breath, then apologized again. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I got you in this mess, Gon. I’m going to do everything in my power to bring you to me.”

 

Brown eyes explored blue, as tan hands trembled like they were ready to slap the fuck out of Killua. “Aren’t you supposed to say get me out of it?” Gon’s voice grew aggressive, "Wait… you’re saying that to spite me. Are you upset? Are you mad?"

 

“You’re a crybaby.” Killua began, before Gon punched him in the arm. He grit his teeth and jumped to the point, “A lot of stuff you do triggers me.” He noticed, how Gon’s mood changed sporadically. It was in times like these, he relaxed and let his lover have his way. He dipped forward, “That doesn’t mean, I don’t....ya _know_.”

 

"No! I would never assume you don’t!" Gon said. It was weird how without Killua even saying the word ‘ _love’_ he knew. He had always known. “It just bothers me. Everything...so many people look down on me.”

 

“I don’t. A fellow finesser always can acknowledge another. If you weren’t in the same game as me, I wouldn’t need you so direly.” Killua told him boldly. "So, stay here and go back inside, then Alluka can teleport you to me."

  
  
"No way!" The black haired male looked down at his sneakers. He sucked on his tongue, “I don’t know, if I can face them…”

 

"I believe in you, Gon! Plus, You know I’ll stay by your side as long as I can." A wave of white fell, as Killua lifted his head.

 

Gon pulled his shoes off, bashfulness evident on his face. Some stuff in life was impossible to run away from. He put his hand on the front door to Kite’s house. “Just go.”

 

“But-“

 

Gon slammed the door in Killua’s face. He walked into the living room. “I’ll call her.”

 

Kite turned away from the tv. He blinked his eyes rapidly, _‘Prove it.’_

 

Gon rolled his eyes. He pulled his phone out to call his Aunt on FaceTime. "Aunt Mito, I'm over at Kite’s home!" He pointed the phone camera at Kite, who gave a little wave. Then he pointed it back at himself. “I’m fine. So-“

 

The reply was almost explosive from the other side of the call. Mito let out an exasperated cry, "Oh thank God! You're safe!" The woman had a box of tissues and a bunch used ones scattered all over the floor in the background behind her.

 

"Uh," Gon's expression switched to one of concern. His aunt’s hand trembled, gracefully touching the phone screen as if to make sure this was real. Gently, he asked, "Why..why are you crying?"

 

"The school called soon as I got home..." Mito stuttered out, "Told me a few kids had went missing when there was a surprise school wide blackout. They suggested that you skipped, but…. I thought you had used this opportunity to run away again! I feared you got kidnapped or killed or I don't know! Oh…" She took a long steady breath to hold herself together. "Where have you been?"

 

Gon inhaled sharply, searching his brain for a valid answer.

 

"I called everyone! I blew up your phone like 200 times!" Mito sniffled, "I was about to call the police."

 

His brown eyes flickered over to the clock sitting in the counter it read: 10:38 pm. Gon couldn't believe how fast the time had flew by. Shamefully, he apologized, "I'm sorry. My phone was on silent because Killua and I went to my mom’s grave."

 

"You did what?"

 

"We cut school to visit Mommy "

 

"You skipped school, to hang with some kid named Killua?" Mito's voice was shaky as if she couldn't believe her sweet nephew. "Gon! How could you?"

 

Gon cringed in guilt. "It wasn't me! Killua made me go. He picked me up, and… and he forced me to go with him!"

 

Mito's face twisted in confusion. "He made you skip school?"

 

"Yes!" Gon said, his head finally jerking up to meet Mito's. He hoped that through the camera she didn't notice the tear droplets in his eyes. "He did it!"

 

"So who is this Killua, guy? The same Killua who you’re dating?" Mito pressured, narrowing her eyes. "He's a bad influence on you if you're skipping class now. He shouldn't make you do anything you don't want to."

 

"I know. But he allowed me to pay for my SAT test." Gon muttered lowly.

 

"Oh, so now you going behind our backs?!"

 

“What?”

 

“You still signed up to take a test after what we talked about?”

 

“But what about the belief in me? Believe in me because it’s already paid for! It’s free, aunty!”

 

Her face darkened as she pointed at the screen, "When you get home, I’m taking your phone, the computer, the XBox One."

 

Glumly, Gon slouched on the couch. His heart swelled with sadness as he tried to frame a story to defend himself. He sputtered, "I was going to tell you!" He stole a mean glance at Kite, throwing him under the bus. “I was gonna go home! Kite made me STAY!”

 

Mito shook her head. “I don't care if you're gay. I don't care if you like dick. You can have all the dick you want." She sighed, rubbing her temples. "What I do care about is your lover negatively influencing you."

 

"I know. I shouldn't have let him."

 

"Why did you let him?"

 

"I'm not sure…He sorta forced me."

 

"He forced you?"

 

"Yes-I mean no? But yes. I can't explain!"

 

"Well better learn TO EXPLAIN!" Mito hissed, "I still haven’t forgot about the last time you tried to run away, Gon! Do you know how scared we were?"

 

Gon didn’t understand why parents always hold dirt from years ago. It was always the immature decisions they never let go and rubbed salt in the wound over. Now, he was going to have to defend himself TWICE as hard. "I...never meant to." He fumed, "The whole thing was just so unexpected! I swear, I won't do it again!"

 

"Does he skip a lot?" Mito digressed.

 

"I..umm, I guess? He doesn’t really go to school." Gon read the distraught expression that flashed Mito's face as him giving the wrong answer. He struggled for a better one, “Yet his complete disregard for education is made up for by his rich privilege!”

 

"Gon! That doesn't matter I don't want his devious ways to rub off on you!" Mito insisted, “He is rich he can do stuff like that. You’re not….” She caught herself, not trying to be too mean. She corrected, “Hanging out with him, just might not be the best choice is what I mean. Visiting your mom’s grave is fine. But cutting school is not. You need school. You don’t wanna be a bum.” She didn’t even have to imply ‘ _Ging’_ since they both knew they were talking about how he dropped out of high school.

 

"I'm sssso-sorry! I..I just…" Gon bawled, "I wanna help him! I want to fix him! I want to heal the damage spots to make him better! I-I-I..I" He swallowed numbly, staring at the carpet beneath his toes with watery eyes. "I know I just met him. But there's something about him that makes my heart go boom each time I see him! There's a connection between us, he calls it an electric charge. Ugh..I can't describe it. Still it's that one thing that makes me so interested in learning more about him."

 

Mito hummed, noticing how passionate Gon felt about this boy. "I'm not really mad just worried for you." She moved the camera around, “Ging even pulled out his hunter equipment.” The way she said _‘hunter equipment’_ was like it was more nonsense than anything. “Kite called and claimed you had some supernatural weird thing happen. Ging flipped out.”

 

Gon stared at the junky stuff Ging had laid out in the living room. Ging waved, “Don’t worry, son. We’ll nag that sucker trying to control ya.” He held up his gun proudly. “Blast out his brains.”

 

‘ _Oh my God!’_ Gon’s head started to spin. He shot a glare at Kite. “You called them earlier?”

 

Kite kept a stern face.

 

 _'What type of sneaky operation were all the adults running!?'_ Gon turned his attention back to the call, getting more stressed out. "Wow, okay. This is why I don't tell anybody anything and when I jump off a cliff, all my secrets will die with me. I'm 16!" He yelled loud enough to drill the number in their heads. "Can you just let me, handle this myself? You have to trust me.”

 

"You know I can’t." Mito mumbled, eyes still full of concern. "I love you, Gon. I have every right to be concerned, troubled children like him in a relationship... it can turn abusive. The last thing I want is for you to suffer."

 

Gon swallowed, nervously tracing a spot where Killua left marks. A part of him understood that since Killua wasn’t human, maybe all he'd been taught was to unleash his anger and frustration with violence.

 

“Killua is just mislead.” Gon snapped, “and if you can’t love me and my boyfriend, then I guess you don’t really _love_ me.” He mashed the end call button, terminating the woman’s rant.

 

Abruptly, Kite stood up. “Think, logically.” He gave him a frown, “Why’d you do that?”

 

“She just wants me to do it her way, even if it fucks me! Because, obviously I take everything up my ass anyway! So just fuck my feelings. Fuck me." Gon threw up his hands. "I should call back and thank her and the rest of the fucking world for always reminding me, my best is never enough and it never will be." He ran to the guest room, banging his little toe on the door frame. “Ugghhrrahh! Damn it, I hate myself!”

 

Kite scolded, "Don't use those words!" He stressed. "You're making a big deal out of nothing. You don't even know him!"

 

Gon slumped against the door after he locked it shut. "He saved my life." He croaked, recalling the incident with the truck earlier. "He did. I almost got us both killed. Killua didn't do anything, yet he flipped the blame on himself!"

 

"Gon, what are you talking about!? You said yourself you..." Kite paused, considering how Gon’s story didn’t add up in the slightest. “Do you mean…” He faltered. “But you said you didn’t see anythi-” His fist met the door. “YOU LIED TO ME!”

 

"Killua, saved me!” Gon quipped, trying to be brave for his boyfriend. “I could have died getting ran over by your truck!"

 

"You wouldn't have died if you would have been in class." Kite jeered, only to hear weeping on the other side.

 

There was no way Gon could defend himself against the truth. He should have just sucked it up and went on back to school. He was his own enemy that he lost to constantly, his own greatest achievement and failure due to his unstable curiosity.

 

Gon whined loudly, "It's not fair. It's not fair!" He didn't know why he was saying it was unfair, when he understood why it was entirely. _So what he was impulsive, erratic and hyper_? He couldn't help how his soul craved for adventure and happiness. He just wanted his life to be like in a comic book, where the hero always won.

 

“That’s not how it’s gonna work with my big brother, ya know?” A soft voice said near the corner. “Sorry for letting you cry again. I didn’t know any other way, I could talk to you alone.”

 

“Who!?” Gon picked up his heavy SAT book, ready to throw it. “Where are you?”

 

“Ah, you can’t see me.” The feminine voice hummed, “The conditions aren’t met, right now. You’re too hung up on my big brother and mad.”

 

“You are Alluka, right?” Gon questioned, wiping his eyes. He knew the girl was in the room with him.

 

“That would be correct.” A smile crossed her lips as she sat beside Gon. “I’ve come to request you heal my big brother! I can take you to him.”

 

“Killua needs me to get better?”

 

“You're like a giant Care Bear in real life! Who wouldn’t want you near them?” Alluka’s mind drifted back on topic, “But…..Yeah. Being around the human with his heart would certainly heal him much faster.”

 

“How are we going to get there?” He figured anywhere away from his family and Aunt Mito would be fine. “Hold on! Let me guess, you’re a supervillain, too?”

 

Alluka reached up and patted Gon's head. “Human reality can be deceiving.”

 

 _‘Must be nice to be born with superpowers.’_ Gon thought, looking at girl who scolded him for his own arrogance. His brown eyes flashed mysteriously, as he grabbed Alluka's hand off the top of his head. “People get to choose how to live. So you can choose to follow the path of a hero. Just because your parents did something doesn’t mean you have to.”

 

The expression of curiosity on Alluka’s face only lasted a brief second, but it was long enough for Gon to read, _‘What the heck? Did you assume I'm evil just because I didn’t answer your question?_ ’ She giggled, “No wonder my big brother likes you so much! You care so much for everyone.”

 

Gon didn't know how to feel about Alluka. There wasn’t a hint of actual happiness in her voice. Her blue eyes darkened just like Killua's—on the borderline between sanity and insanity.

 

“Yes, I..I try to change the world and make it a better place. I mean, if the world is gonna change for the better we have to start with ourselves. Which is hahaha...” A single tear rolled down Gon's cheek. "Today has been so amazing. WOW. Just." He clapped his hands, internalizing the pain. "I'm..this is fine. I can work on being better, tomorrow."

 

“That's amazing how you can still think positive! When Killua has a breakdown, bodies hit the floor." Alluka hummed excitedly. “You're not like the rest.” She said tenderly, “Even knowing what he is, you still stand by him.”

 

“I'm going to save him.” Gon said firmly, tearful eyes twinkling with determination. “It's going to take time, but I'm willing to commit.”

 

Ging and Kite wanted to use violence, but Gon would kill Killua’s evil with compassion. Gon would show Killua that good might lose for some time, but would always prevail.

 

A genuine smile crossed Alluka's lips, “I think you’re the only one that can.”

 

Gon pulled out a paper in his SAT book. He read his goals:  _Save Killua, Alluka and Kalluto. Make Killua a superhero. And become a mommy._ He glanced at Alluka, giving a little smile. “If I save Killua, I can save everyone.” If he saved everyone, he was convinced he wouldn’t leave this world the same way he came in.


	17. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gon is a thicc boi, no one can tell me otherwise. Thanks for reading lovely people!

Killua could breathe. He was not human, but he required oxygen. Oxygen, was a thing him and Gon both shared a need for.

 

Only, Gon was a human and Killua was.....well he was slowly discovering that outside the supernatural realm, he was referred to as a lot of things.

 

But he could breathe. Breathing meant that he was _alive._ He could feel, he could hear, ect. He could _love._

 

His heart belonged to his beloved.

 

A shiver ran down Killua’s spine, as his sides ached. He laid back in the bed. “Gon.” His ocean blue eyes blinked—he swore an image of his lover flickered before him.

 

But he could barely tell reality from hallucination. _What were hallucinations but a quick breach in reality?_ He was breaching it—Gon’s reality.

 

“No!” He flinched, squeezing his eyes shut. “Don’t go get yelled at Gon! It’s not your fault!” He reached out a single hand, only to have it clench around air.

 

He felt weak and powerless.

 

Feverishly, he touched his body, feeling the places where his wounds miraculously healed. Gon… _his_ power source.

 

A question plagued his mind over Gon’s words:  _“If he was sorry, why did he keep doing it?”_ Killua only had one answer. Everything he did was for Gon. He’d hunt him down to the ends of the….actually till the ends of his love for him.

 

An image of the boy by his bedside began to solidify. Hope flashed on Killua’s face.

 

“Took you long enough!” Killua said, sitting up in bed. The time on his clock read 1:00 am.

 

Alluka sighed, “Sorry, we had a little talk.” She winked at Gon as she left Killua’s room. “Gon, good luck.”

 

Killua sucked his teeth, “I don’t approve of secrets.” He looked at Gon. “I completely disrespect authority and trash talk, but I never hurt people with secrets.”

 

Gon shrugged, “Our talk isn’t a secret.” He poked his boyfriend’s cheek. “We talked about how love makes a superhero.”

 

“Pff,” Killua grunted. Typical Gon to talk about how everything led back to love. _Maybe love was the most powerful force in the universe…Or maybe love was just a facade people used to justify actions._ Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on Gon’s shoulder. “You’re right. You can just do it all with love.”

 

Gon wrapped his bulky legs around Killua's slender waist. "That’s not true." He seductively said in sensitive pointy ears. "Love only gets you so far."

 

The movements completely enthralled Killua’s body. A compulsion filled him, as he tilted his head up. “Baby boy, what are you talking about?"

 

“You need to get better right?” Gon blushed as Killua advanced. Hungry blue eyes, made brown ones close meekly. “Long ago, I do remember saying my body was yours." The black haired teen pressed his lips softly against his boyfriend’s forehead.

 

Killua snickered, "Are you suggesting I go crazy?" Their skin rubbed against each other, their clothes preventing more contact.

 

Gon licked playfully over Killua’s lips. "Not to hurt me! I want to experiment on love! See if it’s just like in my comics or what my mom thought..!"

 

Killua nipped harshly on Gon's ear, licking the lobe with his tongue. "I'm not a hero...You haven't even come close to meeting the real me." A malice grin came on his face, as he dug his nails into Gon's hips. "I'm a bad apple, rotten to the core. Once something rots it can't go back sweet, and if you hang around me too much, you'll become rotten too."

 

Gon shivered at the sensation. His senses enhanced, bracing for unspoken danger. A wonderful spark arised each time cold pale hands ran across smooth caramel skin carelessly. Nails left scars like a wild animal marking its territory— because _Gon was all Killua's._ Every lovely inch of him.

 

"That's not true..." Gon declared, his head buried in Killua's neck. "What about Z-lit?"

  
  
Killua's eyebrows knotted up, the endearing way Gon talked, was getting the best of his emotions. "If you're trying to live your life like a comic and bring out the good in me, it won't work. There is none."

 

Gon purred with delight, his tongue burning a path up the curve of the Killua's neck. "Yes there is! I just kno-"

  
  
"I CAN'T!” Killua blurted, overwhelmed by the heat arising in the room. “GON!" Angrily, he grit his teeth, zaps of lightning sparked. “I really...can’t…” He repeated again, slightly pathetically. He pinned the short boy against the bed. “You can’t either. You said you don’t even know how you can love somebody. It just happens! You can love me now and not later! You can say you love me and not mean you love me! BUT I LOVE YOU, GON! I FUCKING LOV-”

 

“Then we don’t call this love.” Gon suggested, pulling off his shirt. "We call this being _in love_." Bold hazel orbs stared into his boyfriend’s soul. "Killua, you're my hero in MY WORLD and nothing will change that."

 

Killua gritted his teeth, drawing blood and a whimper from the body below him. “So you’d fuck anything that saved your life? What about earlier!? All the things I did before?”

 

“You said sorry, didn’t you?” Gon titled his head, a warm expression flooded his face. “When my family went off on me, I realized none of them said sorry for always being in control and dictating my life...but you did. You apologized for being wrong and that’s all I could ask for.”

 

”What if I _do_ go crazy and break you?”

 

“Then I’m broken. I only live for a short thrill in life anyway.”

 

“Pff… my lightning powers can’t shock you.” Killua rolled his eyes, that was the stupidest response anyone could give. But Gon _wanted_ and Killua _took_. So doing this only made sense, to people like them who had already lost it.

 

“I know. But my mom didn’t fuck supernatural creatures for no good reason,” Gon looked down at the rock in his pants. “She did it in hope to change their hearts. She had so much love…. _its everlasting, addictive_ and…”  His face twisted with many emotions, but the prominent one was _passion._ He restated his main point, “I want my hero. I know he is in there.”

 

Killua took a few steps back. He breathed heavily, making more lightning parade around him. “And if he’s not in there…will you leave me?” Gon averted his gaze. The rejection made rage flare in him. “How the fuck can I raise our little lambs alone?” His voice choked on the verge of tears, “You KNOW, I don't wanna talk about my past, because before you came I was down. How the fuck can you leave me alone? How ca-” He breathed more rapidly, attempting to control himself. Gon had this stupid smile on his face, like it would solve the meltdown he was having. All it did was make the monster within him more desperate…Gon _had_ to stay. _If he left what would become of him?_ His adam’s apple bobbed, “Alright then.” He grabbed a scarf off the nightstand stand. Neatly, he folded it up in the shape of a bandana. “Z-lit will fuck you.”

 

“But you’re the same perso-“ Gon choked on his words, as his vision went black.

 

“Shh…” Killua tied the scarf over Gon’s eyes, “You can only see the bright lightning through this, right?” He delivered a kiss to the side of Gon’s mouth. “You can only see Z-lit. The hero you want me to be.”

 

 Goosebumps rose on Gon's skin as Killua’s hot breath made contact with his naked flesh. “I see an outline.” He mumbled to the sound of their electric attraction.

 

“Good.” Killua verbally applauded. He tossed off his shirt and pants. “I’m in control.” His hand clamped around Gon’s ass then squeezed, flipping the boy’s position.

 

Gon’s fingers clawed at the sheets, toes curling with excitement. “Yo, word?” There was something really hot about Killua kissing his thighs as he removed his boxers. “This is like a scene from my comics.”

 

“What type of comics do you read?”  Killua hissed, grinding against Gon’s ass. He gave a little hum in satisfaction at the jolts of pleasure created with the friction.

 

“Ones where the hero always gets the girl..” A whimper came from Gon’s throat as Killua moved to stroke his cock. “Or...aahh..” Killua tightened his grip, mercilessly. ”Or the boy in the end.”

 

Killua nodded, “And they lived happily ever after?” He rubbed his thumb over Gon’s tip, pre-cum already leaking out. “We can live happily ever after.”

 

“Haha…” Gon let out a nervous laugh, as he squirmed below Killua. “Or we can just be happy when you’re inside…” His head started to spin, as he threw it back, ass-cheeks pushing against Killua’s throbbing length. At the feel of the heavy hot object, he almost screamed. “WHEN DID YOU TAKE YOUR PANTS AND BOXERS OFF?!”

 

“Before I took off yours. Didn’t you…” Killua smirked, “Oh wait…” He delivered a luscious kiss on the curve of Gon’s back. “You can’t see.” The boy below him feverishly curled more into the sheets, ass upwards and bouncing against his dick. A bit of laughter slipped from Killua’s mouth as he carved bloody hearts on Gon’s sides. “Don’t you wonder what else I took off?”

 

Gon’s mouth watered from fantasies in his head. “Ya...umm.. Your shirt?” He paused, once Killua let go of his member. He reached his hands outwards, only to have a strong grip with-strain them.

 

Killua scolded, “No touch, Love.” He zapped handcuffs on him. “You be a good boy for me, okay?” His voice dropped an octave, “Let me, _take._ ” He muttered against Gon’s neck, nipping and sucking at it. He pushed his member against Gon’s entrance until it nearly slipped inside.

 

“Oh..” The short boy shuttered, “ _Oh._ ” Gon’s muscles started to stretch around the head of Killua’s cock. He understood now. This was _much_ different from Killua slipping his dick between his thighs. He could feel the pressure and…

 

A growl passed Killua’s lips, "Ahh... _Fuck._  I'm gonna fuck you so hard." He repeated the sound, feeling himself grow against Gon's ass. "I'm not gonna be gentle, gonna make you scream. Scream like people do when they fawn over their hero."

 

Gon smiled, "Make my head spin and fuck away the pain. Please..." His caramel skin illuminated from the faint light; his lips round and soft enough to be devoured like a fudge brownie.

 

Killua groaned throatily, “Soon…” He caressed Gon's stomach until all the smooth skin had been scratched by his rough hands. “Remember, I promised to ravish you first.” He sliced upwards, leaving a trail of red.

 

"Yes...ahh..mmm..please!" Gon said huskily, lust building in his eyes. He clapped back on Killua’s dick, grinding on it slowly.

 

Killua flipped Gon, allowing the outline of power to be viewed once more. “Looks like you did learn when to use manners. I like when you say please.” He rewarded his lover with a kiss on the lips. The kiss was long and deep, allowing him to eat up all the lewd noises Gon squeaked out.

 

Spit hanged out Gon’s mouth, "Touch me there, and there and THERE!" Each touch like a new shock to his system. “ _Please,_ there…”

 

"If you like my touch, you think…." Killua pressed his lips together on Gon's hardened buds. “You’ll like my bite?” His sharp teeth grazed over tender skin, gnawing on the tip like a bunny does a carrot. His blue eyes gleamed hungrily at Gon flinching at the slimy sensation sucking his nipple.

 

"Aahh~nff!" Elated, Gon shifted in the bed, his body pulling the sheets around them both. He shouted, when Killua chomped down on his nipple. "Don't stop..! Z-lit! Killwaah!” The feel of teeth on his flesh made him rapturous.

 

"You're too sweet to me sunshine~ Say my name like that..." Killua blew on Gon’s chest, then kissed the other nipple. "It sounded so hot." He bit the tip of Gon's nose watching the cute cross-eyed reaction.

  
  
"Killwaah!" Gon let out a screech when Killua reached for his cock, milking him again. Not slow, rushed, but satisfying for him. “Ah Mm~like that!” Another bite was given on his chest, making him jump.

 

“Damn," Killua sank his teeth in deeper, drawing blood from the wound that he soothes with his tongue. A divine metallic taste filled his mouth, it reminded him of chocolate. “You taste so tantalizing.” He pulled away to wipe the blood from his lips. “I can’t help but decorate you, as my own. I wish you could see yourself…” He ate up the sight of Gon clinging to his body in a moaning mess. The monster inside him stirred, ready to devour his next meal—this was _way better_ than what he imagined. “You deserve to be absolutely and completely cherished.” He sucked on Gon’s neck, leaving a fresh hickey. “So tell me what else you want.”

 

“I..I just want the dick…” Gon whimpered pathetically, jerking his hips up and down. All the joy Killua supplied to Gon’s body did nothing to fill the emptiness inside of him.

 

Killua removed his mouth from devouring more of Gon's flesh. “Who’s dick?” He fumbled around on the nightstand, until his hand slipped up against the lotion.

 

"Z-lit’s dick." Gon babbled, as he heard Killua squeeze a bottle. The blindfold made everything more entertaining...each touch electrifying, each sound thrilling— _a mystery of what was next._

 

"I'll prep you first, so it doesn’t hurt too badly." Killua insisted, his white locks covering his sky blue orbs. He wiggled a single lotion covered finger in Gon's virgin hole. "Does this feel alright, baby boy?"

 

Gon moaned, “Uhhmm... Yes.” He prompted Killua to slide in another finger without warning.

 

Killua's slick fingers deftly curled into Gon, reaching all the spots he never could on his own.

 

Gon coed, breathlessly. The joy of being scissored shot through him. “Still feels good....want you in m-me."

 

Killua was in no rush. Fascinated, he watched Gon cringe at the feeling of being entered— _impatiently longing_ to be filled, like a pie crust with no filling, it was incomplete. He scissored Gon a bit longer, before adding a third finger. The digits shifted inside Gon’s greedy hole, clenching tightly in refusal to let go.

 

“I’m so..close... “ Gon whined, pushing back on pale fingers. Every single inch of his body was ready for _more_ , and he knew Killua could supply it.

 

“I know…” Killua whispered, withdrawing his fingers. “Because each passing second you get even cuter, with your body begging for me.” He leaned in Gon’s ear, “But you’re going to be a good boy for me and _cum on my dick._ ” He shifted their positions, lifting Gon over his hardness.

 

“Yes, _please_.” Gon mewled in ecstasy, “Drop me, Z-lit! I wa-waaanana..want to ride you.” He ferociously tugged on his handcuffs trying to move and cling to Killua’s body.

 

Killua‘s voice was husky and deep, vibrating within the space between them. "Gon, you’re a little bit bigger than me, sweetheart. When I put you on my lap, don’t jerk around too much." He groped Gon's cute buns, the skin bouncing in the palm of his hand. The feel was silky smooth like velvet and looked pretty like chocolate. “See? You have such a beautiful body that matches your personality. Thick hips, plump ass.” He licked his lips waiting to have the word given for him to slip inside.

 

“O-hh..oo..oookay.” Gon knew Killua was skinny compared to him. He supposed, Killua made up for it with abdominal and arm muscles. “But.. I d-oooon’t know if..!” He tried to wiggle himself on the tip, but Killua firmly held him steadily above his ride.

 

“Try, Love.” Killua encouraged, as he dropped Gon on his cock. “You have to _try._ ”

 

Gon yelped in slight pain when Killua breached him. Unable to see the action, he listened to the squishy slap of wet skin hitting each other. He felt dizzy from the sensation of his insides being forced apart. He _loved_ every second of it. “Z-lit! Oh.. _mmm_.” He slid all the way on Killua's cock, taking him in fully. “This feels better, so much be-”

 

“Hold on…” Killua felt himself get swallowed up by Gon ass. It was like entering a whole new world. He re-framed from moving, taking a moment to breathe against Gon’s ear. "Ahh..." The obscene squelch of his cock sliding into place made him shudder in pleasure. “I can’t believe how snug it fits.” He grinned at how his huge flesh managed to open the circle of pink between Gon's ass cheeks.

 

Gon gasped, "You’re so huge." His ass burned from being connected. He huffed out between pants for breath, "I knew you’d feel so good inside me." He was tempted to move, but Killua told him to “ _try”_ in such a nice way that he couldn’t bring himself to disobey. All he could do was shutter in his lover’s arms.

 

"Feels..." Killua groaned at the constricting heat. The way Gon's walls twitched around him made it sensationally tight. "Warm, Hmm... Safe." He nuzzled his boyfriend's neck, "Are you okay, baby boy?"

 

"This is new but.....yes." Gon winced, biting his lip. “And I’m trying so hard.” His vision got blurry with lust as he squeezed around the alien object inside him. “It's sooo...” He struggled to find a word other than ‘ _good.'_ His mind swam with too many emotions to focus.

 

Killua massaged Gon’s sides, “I know…” He kissed a tear that rolled from under the blindfold. “You must trust me so much, not being able to see me.” A cruelness invaded his tender tone, “I could be doing anything, recording or taking pictures, but here you are crying because I’m not moving.” His cock shifted inside Gon, to act as a tease for what was to come.

 

“I...I…” Gon almost sobbed from all the pressure, with no movement. “I know a real hero wouldn’t do that.”

 

“Gosh, you’re really optimistic.” Killua grabbed Gon’s handcuffs. “Feel this.”

 

Gon’s palms brushed over what he assumed to be Killua’s abs. The rock hard core, wasn’t frail like before. “You’re healing.” He mumbled, as Killua guided his hands to feel more muscle.

 

Killua gave a nod, “That’s because of your love for me.” He moved a tad more, “I’m going to go crazy because of how good you feel.” He rocked his hips, slowly dragging his cock in the snug heat. “How good you being _in love_ with me feels.”

 

The painfully slow action made Gon whimper. “I’m glad, you’re getting stronger.” He rubbed Killua’s abs. “I plan to nurse you back to hea-“ He felt Killua’s core flex, bucking upwards. The large cock jerked inside him, making him shout. “Killua!”

 

“Hah..” Killua snapped his hips unexpectedly again. This time Gon bounced, as nails dug into his ass cheeks. “Sorry, sweetheart. I can’t hold back anymore.” He lifted Gon’s arms up to allow them to rest on his shoulders.

 

“Ah-m-my hero! Killua’s inside of me…! _Ack!_ " Gon’s hole clenched around Killua's dick, making him howl.

 

"That’s right..." Killua blushed. His muscular body flexed, moving in and out his boyfriend. 

 

"I like...this." Gon muttered lowly, feeling Killua tug on his hair to pull him down in a rough sloppy kiss. Their teeth brushed as their lips mashed together. Killua nibbled on Gon's lip, drool leaked. They twisted and turned, completely satisfied that they were finally one with each other. Gon smiled into the kiss, "Long as it’s you…" He hugged his thighs tighter around him. "This is your twisted way of saying you love me."

 

Killua used a hand to squeeze Gon’s hard nipple, turning the bud like tuning a radio to hear all the gorgeous sounds his lover could produce. His dick throbbed as he began to thrust harder into Gon's body, making sure his cock stuffed him FULL—banging the _deepest_ parts. “I really do.” He lifted Gon up slightly, to help him move on his cock. “You get me better than anyone else.”

 

Gon threw his head back at the pleasant sensation. "Z-lit Z-lit..uha..haua!" He was on cloud nine, almost forgetting what he was supposed to be screaming, as Killua moved at Godspeed in and out of his body. He couldn’t see the action, but he felt Killua hammering into him. The buzz of electricity made him cry, because one second Killua was in him and the next he was out—only to return again before he could miss being empty.

 

"Heh, you're taking me so well, Gon." Killua coached, feeling pleasure shoot through him. It cleared his anxieties, smothering out all the stress of the outside world. _Inside of Gon, Killua felt happy._ "You're so flexible..."  His mess mop of white hair bounced as he thrusted his pelvis upwards, smashing them together perfectly.

 

The bed creaked loudly over their skin pounding. The frame sounded like it might fall apart as it rocked with Killua slamming into Gon.

 

It was so cute, how Gon's body would cringe and tighten up with each thrust, how his head was thrown back in a sloppy moaning mess, how he moved the handcuffs desperately to touch anything. His mind was focused on the hard dick moving in and out of him with great speed and strength. He tried to meet the quick thrust. In the darkness only Killua’s bright body provided him light. He gazed upon the _light._ A pinch came to his sides, as he felt blood dripping out of him.

 

"H-Hit. Oh, there." Gon's jaw trembled as heat pooled in his belly. Killua erratically harassed the spot. He gawked, at the fluttering movement in him.

 

Killua smirked, working his powers. Gon hollered out a choked moan, helplessly clutching the sheets. It was such a delightful sound, Killua sped up—in and out, again and again and again until Gon was sobbing and moaning and whimpering brokenly.

 

“You should see your face, baby boy. You’re all red and flustered.” Killua spread Gon’s ass cheeks wider, allowing him more room. “But don’t keep crying…I warned you, I wasn’t gonna be gentle.”

 

Gon trembled, feeling Killua’s cock affecting every inch of his figure. “Z-lit, I _c-can’t_ , I can’t, oh _fuck_!” He sobbed with hiccuping breaths. Each thrust, ass grope, and nipple squeeze made his body spasm, drawing some sort of delectable noise out of him. “You’re too.. _too_ much. Godspeed…” His dick curled upwards, as it pulsed feverishly from Killua’s balls dragging against it each time he pulled out.

 

“Godspeed _what_?” Killua hissed, stretching Gon’s body to its limits.

 

Gon hiccuped, “I cannot feel my fucking legs!”

 

The fucker _does not stop—_ Killua just repeats Gon’s earlier words, “You wanted a hero. I give you a hero.”

 

Shakily, Gon rattled the chains. “Please...I..can’t! I’m so full. _._.stop leaving me..t-then pulling!” He got tongue tied in his own begging. “Oh my Godspeed, _exhilarating_!” His bigger body crushed the skinny one below him, and all he could feel was _Killua._ He was vaguely aware of his own existence. "Z-lit! You're glowing."

 

Killua rammed into Gon, walls tightening around him. "Well, so are you."

 

There was a faint blue glow radiating off both their skin, making their hairs stand up.

 

"I am?!" Gon uttered, only able to see the electricity supercharging through Killua's veins. They both glowed a bright blue that matched up nicely with the color of his eyes. "When you plug into me you go beyond…..reaching a neeewewe..n-new level of your p-powers."

 

"Yeah. Why do you think you’re unaffected by my electricity?" Killua snorted. “You give me my powers, Gon. I’m only as fast as you _want_ me to be.” He snapped his hips vigorously, holding his speed. The power move was a declaration of, “ _All for the sake of pleasing your kinky mind. I can tell just by the voltage flowing through my veins, you crave more of me.”_

 

“Godspeed w-wre- _ACK_!” Gon’s whole entire body tensed up. He swallowed dryly, tears had soaked the scarf over his eyes, making it irritate his skin. He trembled helplessly, this was _really good_. “It’s killing me. It feels so… th-iss..” His whole body was delivering shouts of ecstasy—the more Killua drilled into him. “I’m dying!” He cried again, “A hero is supposed to save my ass, not slay it.”

 

“Anyone else I stick my dick in would die from the voltage instantaneously. They won’t be able to handle me.” Killua paused, a smirk crawling on his lips. “Now do you get it?” He rubbed a scar he left on caramel flesh. “Remember on our first date, when I told you my dick was made to fuck _only_ your ass? When it was between your thighs, you couldn’t understand...but now, I know you _feel_ it.” He pulled all the way out only to slam back into the suffocating heat. “The truth.”

 

Gon screamed so loudly his throat hurt. “Z-LIT!” He was already over the edge. “I’m going to...cu-cum…I-!” He barely managed to stay on Killua's dick, as his body convulsed. It happened in a blur. He wheezed weakly, thick coats of cum spurted all over them.

 

Killua power thrusted through Gon’s orgasm. He was in paradise. His eyes dilated to snapshot every inch of Gon’s sloppy mess.

 

"I’m about to follow." Killua said breathlessly. He licked the blood on Gon's nape. "How do you want my seed, sunshine?"

 

Gon couldn’t even feel his own body. Killua drilling in him at Godspeed during his orgasm, made the rest of him go numb. He wasn’t even sure if the words coming out his mouth were really _his words._ "Cum in me..." He cried, “Z-lit, do it….in m-me, _please_ …Killua.” The blindfold was so pesky, he wished to see Killua’s face right now. Just feeling the way his body tensed up wasn’t enough—the outline of electricity wasn’t enough.

 

"Why?” Killua challenged, “Do you think you'll get super powers or something?"

 

"Sshhh...shut..SHUT UP!" Gon barked.

 

"HOLY CRAP, YOU REALLY DO?"

 

"I CAN DREAM! GOSH!"

 

"Gon!"

 

"Killua?"

  
  
"Your dreams are NOT NORMAL."

  
  
"It's your fault for not having condoms!"

  
  
Killua laughed, kissing all over Gon's neck. He slowed, feeling all the pressure down south exploding. He hummed a snarky, "Whatever..."

 

Gon shot back upwards, gagging at the feel of his insides coated with Killua's seed. Hazel eyes rolled to the back of his head as stars clouded his vision. “Never mind, screw condoms.” He sucked on his tongue. “This is amazing."

 

"Mmm, yeah?" Killua panted out, holding still to ensure every drop fell inside his lover. “I told you, I’d fill you up. I stay true to my word.” He pulled off the blindfold.

 

It took time for Gon’s puffy red eyes to adjust. He blinked rapidly, watching how Killua ceased the lightning storm around him, making the handcuffs on his wrist fade away.

 

“I won’t be moving for a while.” Gon exasperated, hazel eyes staring up at the ceiling. “You might as well stay inside me.” His sweaty black locks pressed against the pillow as he yawned.

 

Pale flesh thumped caramel skin. “I wasn’t planning on pulling out.” Killua tapped Gon’s ass. “I want your body to get used to my size. So your pretty bubble gum hole can only conform to me.” A little blush tinted his pale cheeks. “I don’t like sharing what’s mine.”

 

Gon coed, “Awe, don’t say it like that.” He rubbed his hips together, cum rolling down them. “I’m already your hot mess. When you put it like that I’ll get turned on again.” He puckered his lips.

 

“That’s not good. I don’t know if you can take another round of me.” Killua teased, cupping Gon’s face. “But if you want to give, I’ll take it.”

 

“Killua…” Gon hugged himself, “Are my insides lightning resistant?”

 

Killua rolled his eyes, “Your stomach probably is going to hurt because...well ya know, you wanted _that.”_ He cleared his throat. “Otherwise, you’ll be fine.”

 

The color drained from Gon’s face, “My stomach is going to WHAT!?” He griped, “I knew it! I knew this love would be the death of me!”

 

Killua chirped, “My Love.” He wrapped his toned arms around Gon’s wide hips. “If you die, I would die too. Alright? You’re my sunshine through life’s rain clouds.”

 

Gon laughed. A smile claimed his face, despite the discomfort in his bones. “Yeah! We made this memory...experience together!” He winked at Killua. “Also, I have a new theory. Love is when you do stuff for people, because you care about them. You want to make them feel good.”

 

“So like your comic books?”

 

“Almost!”

 

Killua sweetly kissed Gon's lips. When their lips locked it brought sparks that burned a fire in both of their hearts.

 

To love was a perk of being alive. Anything alive can love.

 

And it really doesn’t matter who you love. A thing, a person, a place, an animal or object. It doesn’t matter because there is different kinds of love: Eros, Storge, Philia and Agape— For all the different kinds of relationships.


	18. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to make this like some dramatic Lifetime movie plot BUT... WE ALL KNEW WHERE THIS WAS GOING.

Crybaby…

 

A crybaby is a person who easily gets upset. The term properly fit Gon. The boy cried a lot, over stuff he assumed should matter to other people.

 

He sometimes got heated—overwhelmed at it all. When he was mad, happy, or frustrated.... _He cried._ Sometimes tears could move people’s hearts more than words.

 

In fact tears, were not a sign of weakness or shame. Tears were a sign, of wanting to explain, to show something, to get something!

 

People cried to convey an unspeakable emotion. Since the brain often works faster than the heart. These emotions are left to spill out in unnamed teardrops.

 

Gon sniffled, wiping his eyes and nose with his arm. “Killua…” His jaw trembled, as a pretty scarlet blush graced his heated face. “It _still_ hurts.” Every part of him: from his soft cookie dough thighs, to his swollen ruby lips, was still fucked up from last night.

 

Killua murmured, "C-come on, Gon." The warmth of their combined body heat burned between them. He shifted around Gon’s body, as it curled _more_ into his warm embrace. Sweetly, he kissed his lover’s cheek, "Baby boy, I'm going to pull my dick out your ass, okay?"

 

When Killua spoke the vibrations made Gon’s toes curl up, as his stomach did flip-flops. He could still feel every action perfectly. “J-Just..get out of me.” He made a mental promise not to cry again.

 

Killua groaned, "You're so cute like that..." He pulled his cock out of Gon's ass, making him shudder from the cum leaking out his hole.

 

The room door creaked open, a bit of black smoke entering. "What the heck?!" A childish shout echoed off the walls.

 

Killua stretched his arms in air, yawning at the sight of his younger brother. "Kalluto?" He croaked out, meeting wide purple skeptical eyes staring down rather aggressively at him.

 

Kalluto made no motions of retreating. His dark hair hanged lowly, over unreadable purple eyes. He coughed, "What the heck!?"

 

"Hey! HEY, SHUT UP!" Killua said groggily, running his fingers through his hair. He looked down to ensure the sheets were covering his and Gon’s naked bodies. “My room door was closed it means stay out!" He waved his hand as if trying to shoo him away.

 

Kalluto whimpered. He really didn’t want to deal with Killua in one of his ‘ _moods_.’ Hesitantly, he spoke, "Alluka is freaking out because she set the oven on fire.” He adverted Gon’s gaze from below. He had no clue what him and his brother were doing in here, but he wanted no part of it.

 

See no evil, do no evil.

 

Speechless, Killua just held open his mouth. His face expressed the question, “ _How the fuck did that happen?”_

 

“We were warming up leftovers from last night.”

 

“You used the oven!? You know crazy Illumi or someone probably...rigged the oven.”

 

“Rigged the oven!?” Gon repeated the statement in bafflement. “How do you rig an oven!? Like a bomb to explode or something… Why do you have that in your house?”

 

Killua snatched a sheet from off the bed and wrapped it around himself. “Bold of you to assume I’m the only crazy person in my family.”

 

Gon’s expression contorted, “So are you _all_ lunatics or ph-“

 

Killua rose to his feet, attempting not to panic. “So Alluka is freaking out and the oven is _still_ on fire.”

 

The 10 year old started to panic. Because all little kids have that moment when they look at somebody to see how they should react in a certain situation. And since Killua jumped out of bed with alarm and fear, in return, Kalluto mirrored this _new_ found alarm and fear. “I didn’t know what to do!” His voice cracked on the verge of a melt down, recalling how broken his sister looked. “I came to you! I don’t know! I don’t k-”

 

“Alright! I’ll get Alluka.” Killua instructed Kalluto. “Just...stay in here with your new mommy, okay?” He rubbed up and down Gon’s back. “I delivered on my promise. So go ahead, introduce yourself.”

 

‘ _Oh yeah. A mom…’_ Gon felt the ends of his lips curl up. He was a mommy now. He had responsibilities. He had little ones who would love him unconditionally.

 

Gon invited the elementary school boy into a hug. “Kalluto! I promise, the days I’m here at home, I’ll take care of you.” Kalluto looked ready to cry as he hugged him. “It’s going to be alright.”

 

Killua switched out the bed sheet with his clothes. He mouthed the words, “ _Thank you,”_ to Gon. Then he ran out the room, following the trail of black smoke.

 

The child shook his head as he gazed at Gon. “You look terrible.” Kalluto stated, pulling away from the boy slightly. “And you smell funny.”

 

Gon wrinkled his nose. _Of course leave it to little kids to point out all your insecurities._ He forced a shaky smile on his lips. “I’m…” He was about to say “ _sorry”_ but then he realized it made no sense to apologize.

 

Sanity told him to apologize. It was his fault. It _had_ to be. _He_ smelled funny, which made Kalluto uncomfortable. It wasn’t nice to make people uncomfortable. Uncomfortableness lead to people thinking you’re different and being different meant…

 

“You smell better than the toxic smoke coming from the kitchen.” Kalluto mumbled, nuzzling his nose in Gon’s chest. “It smells terrible.”

 

The 16 year old took a shaky breath. What was he doing overthinking? Kalluto was 10 years old, with the vocabulary of a 6 year old. If anything, Gon should relax. Kalluto was not making fun of him, he was not judging him, he was just a scared kid.

 

“Yeah,” Gon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I’m no expert on fires, but I’m pretty sure, we should evacuate. Call the fire department and- ”

 

Kalluto looked ready to whine, “ _Noooo!”_ He let go of Gon. “I know how to help.” He headed to the bathroom. “I’ll just get water. I see it on TV all the time.”

 

“If the fire is too big, it’s not going to-” Gon grunted, as he watched Kalluto run off. _Shit._ He just fucking failed one simple task. His voice hit a few octaves higher, it hurt to scream with his throat still raw from last night. “Arrg! Kalluto, don’t FUCK!” The 16 year old cussed, as he rose to his feet.

 

His hands grabbed the desk to steady himself as he put his clothes on. He was sure his clothes smelled like sweat and tears--but _whatever._ He had to watch over Kalluto.

 

Gon limped out the room, every step he took sent a tingling pain through his back. Tears nipped at the corner of his brown eyes, “No...Killua, you didn’t have to go _that_ hard in my ass last night.” He trailed a hand along the walls, the path ahead of him covered by dark black smoke.

 

Daylight beamed through the windows, and that’s all the light Gon has to work with. He reached out feeling and pulling on any door to search for the bathroom. There was no fire alarm, which drove him crazy because all he could hear was the fire crackling. _Snap, pop---cough._

 

He pulled his shirt collar over his nose, not wanting the soot and debris to get in his mouth as he screamed. “Kalluto!” His steps grew more cautious, “Kalluto!”

 

_The last thing Gon wanted was to lose the family he just got._

 

With each door that he opened, more smoke was allowed to spread out. All he could do was think positive and hope Kalluto didn’t run off too far. The halls were so long, and the old house creaked to the sound of the flames.

 

The closer Gon got towards the orange glow the hotter it got. Sweat made the cloth stick to his back, as he struggled to breathe. “Kal-” He paused when his foot hit with something solid. “Oh God.” He quickly dropped to his knees and grabbed an arm, to his horror his fingers sink into the boiled skin.

 

Tears streamed down his face as he swung the body over his back. Waves of panic washed over him. He didn’t know how to exit the mansion, the whole place didn’t have fire alarms and was a huge fire hazard just waiting for this opportunity to kill.

 

“Every-rry thing huuurtsss.” The body he carried whined, “Big brother...it-it’s..hot.”

 

Okay, so this was not Kalluto.

 

“Alluka.” Gon coughed, “It’s me…” He took a few steps back as the fire burned more in their direction.

 

Burned eyelids slowly opened, “Big brother..it..it’s so hot.” Dull blue eyes were directed at Gon, but stared pass him. “I’m hot.”

 

Gon was going to say her name again, but found it pointless. He asked, “Are you okay?”

 

“Hot…” Alluka babbled, “D-don’t go..goooo back in. Too hot.”

 

“Killua went back in?” Gon’s brown eyes reflected the flames dancing before them. A terrified expression filled his face, because he _knew_ Killua, and the boy wouldn’t go back in unless he was trying to help his siblings.

 

A small hand tugged on Gon’s shirt from behind, “Mommy!” The 16 year old turned around to see Kalluto completely unharmed, holding a plastic cup full of water.

 

“Kalluto! Thank God!” Gon exclaimed, “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

 

“I figured the bathroom on the second floor was safer, so I went up and got water from there.” The 10 year old calmly walked over to the fire, and tossed water on it. A few flames sizzled out, but the rest kept burning presistantly. “Dang. In the shows it works different.” He broke out in a coughing fit.

 

Gon quickly pulled him away, holding tight to his hand. “Of course it does!” He scolded, “Now don’t run away again. Fire is very dangerous.”

 

Kalluto gazed at Gon in confusion, “My old mommy said danger was something everyone must face to get stronger.” He let out a sad hum, then started coughing hysterically again. His small body could barely take all the smoke entering his lungs, weakly he clung to Gon’s side. He croaked, “I think her body is burning right now.”

 

Gon instructed, “We have to get out of here.” He looked around, unable to see pass the flames or smoke. “Crap! Where is the front door?”

 

“It’s past the..” Kalluto hacked up gross black mucus, spitting it on the floor. The teen would have screamed if he had enough oxygen to waste. “Kitchen. In the living room,” The child wheezed, “That’s the only exit.” His eyes became blurry with shame and embarrassment.

 

Brown eyes bugged, as he squeezed Kalluto’s hand. Gon understood why Killua had ran back in the flames—he was trying to put them out. _Somebody had to, if the kitchen was the only escape._

 

The elementary schooler sounded like was coughing up a lung. “It’s Okay..okay..” Gon sniffled, trying to calm the child freaking out. “So there is no back door?”

 

Kalluto opened his mouth, only to hack up more mucus. He gagged as his chest tightened, making him wheeze again. “No-”

 

Gon covered his mouth with his shirt. “Little boy, you have asthma.” He pulled Kalluto closer to him as the roaring flames doubled in height. “Don’t try to breathe too much.” He choked out, “This is a lot of toxins even for me.”

 

Kalluto’s jaw trembled, as tear rolled down his face.

 

Alluka let out a whimper, “Big...brother…”

 

“Killua!” Gon shouted, a feverish panic setting in that his boyfriend might be severely injured. “Killua!” He took more steps back as the ceiling sank in. It would be easier to look for him without Alluka and Kalluto, but he was too scared to leave them alone.

 

He was too scared to _be alone._

 

Because Gon had never truly been alone. Insanity gave him a way to stay connected. Loneliness was for the sane, who didn’t lose themselves to their own conscience. They could shut out the world, because they were practical enough to solve their own problems.

 

Insanity riddles the mind to where conformity is viewed as a reason to get fixed, but it’s hard to solve the puzzle of anxiety. So it drives you to want to erase the memory, cover it up with a thrill or something more worthwhile.

 

_BLOCK IT OUT._

 

_NUMB IT._

 

_PAIN IS TEMPORARY._

 

_MEMORIES ARE FOREVER._

 

“Gon!” A shout came from a lanky figure, that staggered into view.

 

“KILLUA!” Gon shouted back in ecstasy. He could barely see the figure, skin roasted by the flames and shirt half way hanging off his body.

 

“I can’t find where I dragged Alluka.”

 

“I have her!”

 

Relief flooded cloudy sky eyes. “You’re a real ray of sunshine, Gon.” Instantaneously, Killua appeared before the human. Sweat rolled off his forehead and half-way exposed abs, “So don’t cry okay? We’re going to live.” He declared firmly.

 

Gon gave Killua a worried smile, “Well if you believe in the afterlife in heave-”

 

“NO! WE ARE GOING TO LIVE!” Killua stressed, repeating his words again. He motioned for Gon to follow him. “Heat and smoke rises up. So we have to go down to the basement.”

 

_The only way to kill memories is to kill yourself._

 

“That’s suicide!” Gon hissed, “What’s in the basement?”

 

Killua retreated away from the fire, heading down the hall towards his bedroom and the staircase. “The correct question is what is _not_ in the basement.” He swung open the heavy aluminum door, to reveal a path to the basement. “This should keep the fire from burning down here.” He held the door open, for his beloved to slip inside. “We should be safe for awhile.” The sound of keys filled the stale air.

 

The weight of Alluka and Kalluto, held Gon down from trailing directly behind Killua. He limped down the dark staircase. A little light bulb flickered overhead, as the stairs seemed to spiral into a never ending abyss.

 

Killua sent sparks of lightning around his body, “See? It smells better already.” He shot a bolt of lightning down the staircase. “Not much farther now, Loves.”

 

Kalluto let out a groan. He was thankful to breathe in non-contaminated air. He took long deep breathes- _in and out._

 

Gon rubbed Kalluto’s back, “There you go.” He gently palmed his shoulder blade, “One breath at a time.”

 

Kalluto kept his head low and focused on the brick steps beneath his feet. He couldn’t help but get the feeling this was _weird._ He had only been to this part of the house two times in his whole life and none of those times was because he did something, ‘ _good.’_ But he figured it was better than being burned alive.

 

“Killua, what about Alluka?” Gon asked, nervously. “She needs a doctor.”

 

“Oh, don’t worry.” Killua brushed it off. “They’re like me. Soon as they cuddle around you, they’ll be fine.” He ran his fingers on the brick wall. “Long as we have each other, we can live and be safe.”

 

Gon gave a nod, eyes sparking up with hope as his feet felt carpet.

 

Killua flicked the light switch to showcase a finished basement. There was a huge TV, large couch and a kitchen. “There is food in the fridge and I’m sure the microwave and TV work.” He bragged.

 

Kalluto almost lost his marbles. A gasp past his lips as he stared at an exact replica of their living room. But _that_ was impossible. The living room, with this _same_ furniture and layout should be up in flames.

 

Awestruck, Kalluto let go of Gon’s hand. He went over to mess with the microwave and table that should be ashes by now. “What the-” He ran his fingers over the wooden table. _THERE WAS NO WAY. How was this possible?_ He opened the fridge to reveal a bunch of frozen dinners, vegetables, meats and cheeses. “YOU WENT TO THE STORE?!”

 

The lanky boy wore a look of confusion. “Didn’t you want me to?”

 

“This…” The child slammed the fridge door. He reopened it again and again to ensure his eyes were not playing trick on him. “I ate cereal and oatmeal...and…the only decent meal, I ate was enchiladas.” A fit of hysteria washed over him. “There is no WAY. I would ha-”

 

“Something wrong, little lamb?” Killua flashed him a stern expression. His blue eyes darkened as he stepped closer to Kalluto. “Your face is so blank, like you’re seeing double.” He reached in the fridge to pull out a Kool-Aid Bursts Berry Blue and tossed it to his little brother. “Have something to drink. You were thirsty before, so I got a lot of bottled water and Kool-Aid.”

 

The 10 year old shut his mouth as he clenched the drink. Heart heart skipped a few beats, as a pale hand rested on his shoulder. It tempted him to ask, “ _Where is it? Where is the torture chamber? What did you do it?_ ” His mind configured it had to be in one of the 5 rooms. One was a full bathroom, the other had to be Alluka’s room, the studio, an extra bedroom, and the torture chamber. He just didn’t know which door lead to which room.

 

“If you’re hungry, I think there are cherry and blueberry Pop-Tarts in the cabinet.” Killua closed the fridge and opened a cabinet above the microwave. He grabbed the box down and opened it for Kalluto make his own selection. “You want cherry or blueberry?”

 

Hesitant, Kalluto timidly pulled out blueberry. The smooth packet felt so alien in his hand, it almost slipped out as he trembled.

 

“Yo, Gon! Cherry or blueberry Pop-Tarts?” Killua shouted, at his boyfriend resting on the couch.

 

“Cherry!” Gon yelled back, “But only if you eat something.” He puckered his lips, figuring that statement might not have been something Killua’s mind could process. _It wasn’t an option._ “Even if you say no, I’ll still feed it you.”

 

“Catch!” Killua flung the packet over in his direction. He pulled out a blueberry flavored one for himself, then placed the box on the counter. Blue eyes met purple. “I’ll leave them here, so you can reach them.”

 

“I…” Kalluto didn’t know what to say. Alluka usually the one talk down Killua. Alluka did this part...he didn’t know how to.... “Thanks?” He uttered, “But this is really weird li-”

 

A crooked grin crawled on Killua’s face. “You’re not seeing anything out of the ordinary, right?” He squeezed Kalluto’s shoulder tightly. “This is going to be our new home for some time.” His volume dropped, ensuring his words were for Kalluto’s ears alone. “Remember? You wrote regret, as what you think home is. Well, we can check that off.” He pointed up at the brick ceiling separating them from the fire raging on above their heads. “Plenty of regret in that.” He motioned towards Gon. “And I covered the mommy part of home for you.”

 

Kalluto’s eyes went wide as his head spun. He wheezed, feeling another asthma attack come on...or maybe it was a panic attack this time.

 

Killua leaned in and whispered, “The money, I didn’t forget.” He waved at the computers on the table. “Money is all about an image. Down here, living large like this conveys what words could never do.” His grin doubled in size, “But you, little lamb. _You_ also did something words could never do. I turned your writing into actions and look at us now!”

 

A wave of nausea washed over the child. _Killua was a lunatic. And they were trapped in a basement with a lunatic._ Kalluto stumbled away from Killua, bumping into one of the chairs. “Mommy!” He croaked.

 

“Hmm?” Gon shifted at the unexpected weight added to his lap. “What’s wro-?”

 

“He’s fine.” Killua spoke abruptly, a grin still resting on his face. His eyes flickered with sincerity, “He just needs time to settle down. I think we all need that.” He delivered a kiss to the side of Gon’s face. “Let me make you some coffee.”

 

Insanity gave one a spark of optimism. There was nothing sane about thinking positively. Well unless it’s Killua’s case. Killua Zoldyck was one of those who wanted to see the world burn. He wanted to wipe away all his regrets and fears, by getting rid of the source. He discovered at age 12, that destroying his home was something he _had_ to do.

 

A crimson blush spread on Gon’s face, “K-Killua! “Aren’t you worried about the fire?! We need to call the fire department! We need help!” It was strange how his boyfriend slipped back into a normal morning mode.

 

Killua’s grin faded slightly, “Gon.” His voice got aggressive, as he slammed his Pop-Tarts on the coffee table. “I SAID IT ONCE ALREADY, LONG AS WE HAVE EACH OTHER WE’LL LIVE!” He raised his hand, sparks jumping off as if playing tag between his bones.

 

Gon’s face contorted a bit, as he took a bite of his Pop-Tart. “So screw the fire?”

 

“We’ll be fine in here.”

 

“How will people know we’re here?”

 

“Duh! They’ll search.” Killua lied, dropping the charge in his hand. “Till then we sit tight.”

 

The black haired boy bit his bottom lip, anxiously. “My aunt, Ging and Kite will be looking for me. Oh…” A newfound appreciation of life had sparked sympathy in him. “I rudely hanged up in my aunts face. I know they got worried when they discovered I wasn’t in the guest room this morning. I..I’ll have to go back and apologize.”

 

Sparks of annoyance twinkled in blue eyes, “Go back?”

 

“I... I told Alluka, I’ll work on being better tomorrow.” Gon sighed, “Which is like today?” He shook his head, “I can’t lie to myself and say I do the best that I can.”

 

“You are doing better! You’re saving lives!” Killua pointed out, trying not to get get ticked off. Gon’s cringe reaction made his eyebrows droop. “I get it.” His voice cracked slightly, “You’re just anxiety driven, with regret because you almost died.” He hugged his arms around Gon’s shoulders. “I used to be the same way, when I was struggling to find who I am.” His cold nose bumped against Gon’s cheek, “But ever since you became my obsession, I don’t worry about regrets too much. I’m focused on you and our little lambs.”

 

“Killua…” Gon took a long breath, unable to decide what he wanted to express. He figured Killua was probably right. Why was he worried about something that already happened? It was just like the bullying thing, it wasn’t like he could go back and prevent it from occurring. All he could do was...try not to ruin things now. He gulped, “I can make my own coffee.”

 

Killua shook his head, “Don’t move. I’ll handle everything. Besides, you’re limping. You didn’t say anything, because you were too worried about our little lambs.” He tapped a finger on Gon’s nose, making a smile appear on plump lips as if by magic. “So eat and rest up.” He captured the smile in a chaste kiss. “You need to be healthy for Alluka and Kalluto to heal.”

 

Gon looked down at the two kids with their heads in his lap. He sighed, “I’ll try. But I’m really scared about the fire.” He gulped down more of the sweet breakfast pastry, “I’m concerned…”

 

“Shh…” Killua silenced him with another kiss. This time cherry flavored crumbs transferred to his lips. “I have everything in control. This is _my_ plan. I won’t let anything bad happen to our newly ruined family.”

 

Gon smiled warmly, “I trust you, Z-lit. You helped me discover more about love! You're the best Killua! I love you a lot!"

 

"Gon, stop it! You sound like a 5 year old!"

 

"I can't help it! You make me so happy! I just want to be close to you."

 

"Believe me after what we did last night, we can't be any closer!"

 

Kalluto wanted to slice his own ears off. He buried his face in Gon’s stomach. "Why do crazy people always get their way?" He whispered spitefully under his breath.

 

“The best part is we are finally able to spend time as a happy family.” Killua knelt down to grab two controllers off the TV stand. “I can make up for lost time.” He tossed his boyfriend a controller. “When we were 12 you wanted me to play video games with you.”

 

Gon caught the controller, he hit the Xbox symbol to turn on the console. “You legit?” He smashed a few buttons to scroll through the downloaded games. “I suppose it’s better than doing nothing while we wait.”

 

“Yeah.” Killua encouraged, “Choose any game you want, Gon.” He rose to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Alluka, Kalluto and I worked endlessly to ensure you got a very _warm_ welcome home.” Sapphire eyes gleamed deviously as he gazed at his siblings.

 

Alluka mumbled under her breath incoherently. It was as if she felt the pressure of Killua’s words. She squirmed a bit, letting out a quiet groan.

 

Gon tenderly stroked her long hair, “Don’t wriggle too much, little one.” He flicked the analog stick. “Mommy is about to kick some ass.” He winked at Killua. “When you lose don’t be too heartbroken. I still love you.”

 

Kalluto whimpered, he took a sip of his Kool-Aid. He felt guilty for not having the guts to warn Gon. He wanted to say, “ _We’re supernatural monsters. Monsters don't need hearts._ " They need feelings. Monsters feed off emotions, to get their power.


	19. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “No protection on my heart, God damnit, I'm gon' hit it raw  
> Traumatized from my past, yeah, I keep a log  
> In my mind, in my head, where that shit belong  
> Look at the way I make that fucking bed rock, uh  
> Where your ring finger at? I need wedlock”  
> ~Juice WRLD

 

Everything in life had some sort of rank. Something had to be the best. Something had to be on top. Something had to be the worst. Something had to be on bottom. It was all a matter of opinion, just like beauty.

 

“People like what they like.” Alluka yawned, shifting in Gon’s lap.

 

Gon’s smile radiated like the sun as he looked down on her. “All better?” He could no longer see the burn marks on her flesh.

 

Alluka delicately touched her face, “I think so.” She looked at the bright TV screen, reading the time. “Crap! School is almost over. Big brother, why didn’t you tell me?!” She demanded, jumping to her feet.

 

Killua mashed some button on the controller. “Hmm, you needed to get better so you could go.” He looked at her, “But if you’re fine now, go ahead.”

 

Alluka blinked rapidly, then squinted to observe her surroundings. “Hold on…. Where in house are we?”

 

“Basement.”

 

“This doesn’t make sense. How does it lo-”

 

“Alluka. Your room is down here, right? Go get changed and go to school. If you’re hungry Pop-Tarts are on the counter.”

 

The girl knotted her eyebrows together. She opened her mouth, about to say more, but silenced herself. Her hand found it’s way to pull on Gon’s. “I need to talk to you.” She whispered shakily, “Come with me.”

 

Gon sighed, “Pause the game, Killua.” He gently, rested Kalluto’s head on Killua’s lap. “I’ll be back.”

 

Killua let out a whine of protest, “Where are you going?”

 

“Alluka wants to talk to me.” Gon mumbled, following behind the girl.

 

Killua cut his eyes, “Keeping secrets, Alluka?” He felt a bit of hurt stab at his heart. This was the 3rd time his sister did something against his wishes. He didn’t get why. Where was he going wrong? He was the new family leader! A _better_ leader than his father. He cared for his siblings and gave them what they desired. What more did Alluka want from him?

 

“It’s a daughter mother thing.” Alluka said, her lashes fluttered sweetly. “You won’t get it.” She swung open her room door. “It will only take a few minutes.” She blew a kiss, “Okay? Love you.”

 

Killua grit his teeth bitterly. He was tempted to say, “ _If you love me, you wouldn’t do this to me.”_ But the room door closed behind Gon, before he could say anything. It ticked him off. Alluka was his favorite sibling, and nothing hurt more than betrayal by one you loved.

 

Killua slammed his fist in the couch pillow. He cussed loudly, “Damn it.”

 

It was so loud, Gon heard the word through Alluka’s room door. He jumped a bit, “Killua is really pissed off.” His eyebrows knitted together, as his brown eyes flashed. “Care to clue me in on why?”

 

Alluka sucked on her tongue and opened her closet door to select an outfit. “Other than the obvious facts?”

 

“Much appreciated.” Gon looked around the walls of Alluka’s room. There was pink wallpaper and a rainbow decorating the walls, lots of huge teddy bears laying around with other toys.

 

“My parents were scared of me. They locked me in here.” Alluka shook her head, holding up an outfit. “How’s this?” She put it up to herself. “Does this dress show too much?”

 

“Just enough to tease.” Gon gave a thumbs up.

 

Alluka nodded, taking the dress off the hanger. She kept on with her story, “Killua used to visit me sometimes. He’d go on and on about you.” She went over to the bathroom to change.

 

Gon leaned against the closed bathroom door, listening intensely to more of her story.

 

“I have no doubt he loves you. I have no doubt he loves Kalluto and I.” Alluka zipped up her dress. “I just don’t think, Killua knows _how_ to love and it hurts him and other people.”

 

“Sorta like how I’m trying to experiment with the different kinds of love?”

 

“Yeah.” Alluka muttered. She twisted the knob, “Step away from the door.”

 

Gon backed up, as Alluka stepped out. She flipped her long hair. For a second, Gon became envious. Envy crept in his heart, as quick as guilt. He shouldn’t be jealous of Alluka’s pretty long hair. The girl went through a shitload of stuff. She had every right to everything she had.

 

Plus Alluka’s long hair wasn’t grown because she was insecure.

 

“Is it bad, I’m like this?” Gon mumbled, under his breath.

 

“Hmm?” Alluka sat down at her vanity, pulling out jewels and other various charms.

 

“You went through hell. You have a valid reason to be…” Gon cut himself off. He felt stupid. It was like what Biscuit said to him, _“You have people who actually want you. Some kids have parents who could care less about them.”_

 

“That’s okay, Gon.” Alluka held up a gold earring, to see how they brought out her complexion. “You’re just really open about your flaws.”

 

“No.” Gon shot down the idea. “My self confidence is just that low.” He closed his eyes, reminiscing on his failures. “Killua loves his power. He might feel sometimes, that he needs more. But…” It was hard to put things like this into words. Even with Alluka respecting his desire to be ignored by not looking him in the eyes, _it was hard._ “I should be able to help people. But I can’t deny most of my actions are done selfishly.”

 

“Don’t say that Gon!” Alluka blurted, “How can everything you’re doing be selfish? You do what you want, but it helps others!” She put the earrings on. “Helping people and not caring to help yourself is dedication. It’s what being a mommy is all about! I have no fear of your devotion to aid us. We’re a family!”

 

Gon gave her a sad look. It would be too cruel to tell her, “ _Killua has you brainwashed._ ” Alluka had hope in her big brother. Hope that stemmed from love. There was nothing Gon could say that would change her mind.

 

Alluka grabbed some lipstick, “And once you heal Killua, we’ll be a happy family.” Her lips popped, “Well I’m already happy! But Killua is still sick, so ya know...it scares Kalluto.” She reached for her mascara. “Last night sounded like a real breakthrough.”

 

_No denying something definitely did BREAK._

 

“I guess.” Gon shrugged. “Alluka, what were you saying about the basement before?”

 

“Killua changed some things around is all.” Alluka tutted, “It’s weird. I thought we were done moving stuff, once we dumped the bodies.”

 

Brown eyes widened, “Bodies?”

 

“Huh?” The 14 year old giggled, “Bodies? I mean ya know…” Her blue eyes rolled, “I just took some of my mom and dad’s jewelry. Killua raided their credit cards and all.” She dug her hand in the expensive glass jewelry box. “You want to try some on? It’s for the family to share.” Her slender fingers stroked the expensive accessories, as her eyebrow arched in temptation.

 

Gon puckered his lips, “Those look real.”

 

Alluka smirked, “My parents didn’t own costume jewelry.” She admired her face in the mirror, “Zushi will have no choice but to see me as a mature woman now.” She rose to her feet, “I’ll be going now. Remember, what we talked about.”

 

Gon gave a nod as he watched her body fade away. He was left with more questions than answers: Where were their parents? Did Killua kill his parents? Why didn’t Alluka talk about the fire? Or what happened after the fire? Why did it feel like everyone was hiding something?

 

“This is ridiculous.” The 16 year old uttered under his breath. He opened Alluka’s room door and let out a surprised shout. “Killua! What the fuck?!”

 

The tall boy narrowed his luminous blue orbs, “Why you scared, Gon?” He grabbed the short boy by the wrist, pinning him against the wall. “Are you scared because you’re keeping secrets?”

 

“You scared the shit out me!” Gon struggled to catch him breath. He breathed heavily into Killua’s neck. “Where is Kalluto? I thought you were watching him.”

 

Killua quipped, “Don’t change the subject. You know I need to know what you know.”

 

Gon’s face screwed up. “What are you talking about?”

 

“You and Alluka.”

 

“I told you once already. It’s just the same thing.”

 

“So why y’all keep talking about it?”

 

"I am just trying to help you. Alluka thinks you need help too." Gon repeated what he told Killua on their first date. “Remember? There’s no one in this world who really achieves anything by themselves. I’m here for you.”

 

"Help? You can’t help me." Killua informed him sharply. He threw back a reminder, "Doesn't it say in your comic books to never assist a supervillain?" 

 

Gon numbly said, "Yes?" He thought back on the comics he read in the past. "It says not to do a lot of things around supervillains. I've broken most of those things around you and I haven't gotten killed yet."

 

The villain sighed. He dragged Gon into Alluka’s room and sat him down at the vanity. “Gon, I said I would love you even if you have snakes in your hair.” His pale fingers brought a lock of black hair to his nose. He took a long deep breath, “Does that sound like someone who needs help?”

 

Gon stared at the reflection of them. “It sounds like you love me, despite my imperfections.”

 

Killua kissed Gon’s hair. “That’s right.” His half-lidded eyes flashed as his voice lowered huskily, “I plan to wake up next to you every morning and tell you how beautiful you are.”

 

Gon felt his heart swell with joy. Killua knew exactly how to make him so happy. “Awe, you’re so sweet Killua. But you know that will never happen…”

 

“Why not? Stay with us, Gon!” Killua urged. “We’re finally all home! We’re all here together! You, Alluka, Kalluto and I….We’re a family!” He placed his hand on top of Gon’s. “This right here. The adorable all trusting, Gon. This…”

 

“What? You’re talking weird again. We can be a family without us being together 24/7.” Gon assured. He reached for a pair of expensive earrings. “Take this!” He handed one to his boyfriend.

 

Killua looked at the jewelry questionably. Then his eyes stole a glance back at Gon. The short boy was pleasantly putting his earring in.

 

“Look! They’re heart earrings!” Gon smiled brightly. He lifted his nose up as his locks bounced around the large gold heart. The light hit his caramel skin in an endearing way that brought out his hazel brown eyes, and soft lashes. He blinked rapidly, tucking some hair behind his ear. “They match.”

 

Killua quickly put his earring in. He observed Gon. The look fit him…..the large heart offset his round face. Slowly, his lips curved upwards, “It’s like we’re a set, that’s not supposed to be separated.”

 

Gon’s smile grew, until it reached ear to ear. “But it’s okay to be seperated sometimes. These earrings are seperated, but they still look pretty without each other.” He ran his fingers on the diamonds placed over the gold. “Being apart will just makes us value each other’s company more.”  

 

Killua blushed, “No...” He rubbed the back of his head nervously, “I just don’t like my possessions being taken away from me.”

 

“I’m never away.” Gon enforced, he pressed his forehead against Killua’s. “I’m in your thoughts, your memories, your heart. I’m always here for you, Killua!”

 

Killua shuddered, a low growl came from his throat. “DON’T! DO NOT!” He grit his teeth, “SAY THAT.” Flashbacks in his head brewed up catastrophe from the past— _everything ‘here’ for him left unless he held tightly to it._ “You can’t forget about me AGAIN!” He squeezed Gon’s hand.

 

Fresh tears sprung in Gon’s eyes as he flinched in his seat. “Killua, stop it!” He scolded, “I have to return to Ging, Mito and Kite someday. It’s fine to stay here now, but they’re my family too. A family has no limit to the amount of people able to be in it.”

 

“NO! YOU STOP IT!” Killua snarled, baring his teeth. “You know they don’t understand you like I do! No one knows you as well as me.” He raved, “YOU SAID IT YOURSELF! I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO SAID SORRY!” Digging his hand in the jewelry case, he flung diamonds, gems, gold, and sliver at Gon. “LOOK AT ALL I GIVE TO YOU! THIS IS OURS! THEY CAN’T EVEN AFFORD FOR YOU TO TAKE AN SAT TEST OR SEND YOU INTO COLLEGE!”

 

Gon flinched as the riches hit his skin harshly. He croaked, “Money has nothing to do with love, Killua.” His tone was soft and matched the tender look in brown eyes. He stroked his boyfriend’s hand in attempt to relax him.

 

“You’re wrong!” Killua fired out, his white locks blocking the fire in his sapphire eyes. “You were so happy when I paid for your test. You knew I was expressing my love for you by buying it.” He picked up another handful of gems. “I saw it in your eyes…” A few rings clattered to the floor as he heaved, “Then you even said you might fuck around and fall in love with me.”

 

Guilty, Gon’s jaw trembled. He touched Killua’s trembling figure, caramel finger curling into a warm embrace.

 

“When we had sex,” Killua pleaded, “You called that being _in love_ with me.” A torn up expression clouded his face. He sadly sang out the second verse of their softcell song, “And now that I've surrendered so helplessly. You know, I believe you want to leave me.”

 

Gon shook his head, “I’m trying to explain. The earrings are like a symbol. Even when we’re apart I’m still your boyfriend.”

 

Killua’s face became unreadable, as a shadow crossed it. “Prove it. Prove to the world you’re not running away because you’re ashamed of me.” He picked up a collar under all the jewelry. “Sweetheart,” The leather bondage choker had a engraved padlock: _Property of Z-lit._ Timidly, he put the necklace around Gon’s neck. “Do you want this?”

 

Gon’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed down tears. “Y-yes.” His eyes were glued to the mirror, mesmerized by Killua holding the pricey necklace around him. The silver padlock gleamed in the artificial light in contrast to the golden heart and diamonds in his ear.

 

Killua’s tone deepened, “Be honest with me.” His crystal orbs burned passionately in hazel.

 

Gon‘s voice cracked slightly, “Yes, _please_.”

 

“I knew you would like it.” Killua spoke huskily. His lips mashed against the top of Gon’s spinal bone. “But I don’t feel like you deserve it.” He rested his chin on Gon’s shoulder. “Since you want to desert me. But honestly, I’m not shocked. Everyone likes to hurt me.”

 

“If the world knows I’m yours,” Gon stared at the reflection in the mirror. He squirmed in the chair. “I’ll even wear it to the SAT testing tomorrow if you wa-”

 

“That chair you’re sitting in, I almost died in.” Killua motioned to the window. “My own mother almost choked me to death.” He nudged Gon to focus on his blank facial expression. “But I would have died happily because I was thinking of you.” His tone became aggressive, “SO DON'T TRY TO LEAVE ME! DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO! DO NOT PLAY WITH MY LOVE FOR YOU!”

 

“K-killua!” Gon shouted, his eyes going wide with fear. “What the hell is your problem?! A bright brilliant burst of blue shined above him. “Please! Calm do-“

 

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Killua locked the choker around Gon’s neck. “You weren’t there! You said you would be! You said friends are THERE FOR EACH OTHER!” He yanked his hand away from Gon, and made a tight fistful of rage. “WE’RE FRIENDS! I was always there to comfort you.” His pale fist slammed repeatedly into the brick wall. Each punch making more blood trickle to the floor.

 

More hot tears fell down Gon’s face, as he trembled like a helpless puppy. His tears were falling because he did understand... _he knew already._ That was why he was crying.

 

He was crying for all the things he could not say.

 

He was crying for his sanity slowly slipping away.

 

He was crying because as his world went dark all he could see was Killua guiding him on the path to salvation.

 

“I’m sorry!” Gon sobbed, grabbing Killua’s fist. “Please. Not this…” Feverishly, he licked pale flesh. He littered kisses all over his boyfriend’s skin. “Don’t hurt yourself, Killua. I’m not worth your physical pain.”

 

“You’re worth everything! God fuck! Don’t trash talk yourself!” Killua shouted, blurry eyed. He was growing more pissed and panicked. “You are the reason that I’m still…” His breath hitched as his voice wavered. He dragged Gon out of the room by the collar.

 

The short boy sniffled, as he kept kissing Killua’s hand. He mumbled, “I’m so sorry. I...I really am.”

 

The boy’s white hair bounced as he shook his head. “Choose a room, Love.” He gestured towards the narrow hall with 3 doors.

 

Gon inched over towards the other room besides them. He cracked open the door to see Kalluto sleeping on a mattress.

 

“Not Kalluto’s makeshift room.” Killua put his hand over Gon’s to close the door. “ _Another_ room.”

 

Gon sucked his teeth and headed over to grab another knob. “It’s locked.” He complained, attempting to turn it. He took a sniff of the air, “Why does it smell like something is rotting?”

 

Killua’s eyes darkened, “Maybe it’s a sign you should choose another door.”

 

It pained Gon to see Killua acting such a way—his moods changed too much. But Gon couldn’t blame him. Killua probably learned how to feign moods. He was probably feigning now, since there was no telling what he saw through gloomy blue eyes.

 

Gon just saw mysterious doors with no history.

 

Killua knew these doors: _Misery, Abuse, Torture, Shame, Fear._ The doors names tattooed in his brain, despite them all having the same normal appearance.

 

_Normal is not equivalent to sane._

 

“This door opens up.” Gon mumbled, stepping inside. The room smelled like mothballs and equipment.

 

Killua entered and flicked on the lightswitch. The lights revealed a studio with several video monitors for visual feedback, control computers, production switchers and an intercom.

 

Gon wiped his tears, “This looks like a transmission control room for TV.” He sat in a comfortable office chair in front of the operating board.

 

“It does?” Killua whispered, “I wouldn’t know.”

 

“My class took a fielding trip to a television studio once! The behind the scenes looked just like this.” Gon attempted to make Killua smile.

 

Killua averted his gaze, “Do they use television studios to stalk people?” He pointed at the large flat screen in front of them. “My parents would watch Alluka like she was some sort of creepy experiment. They would send me in to talk to her for my studies… They would try and tell me to…” His finger left blood stains on the glass as he dragged it across. “We were like pencils to them. No one really cared about us.”

 

Gon’s stab at cheerfulness faded as he saw tears swell in Killua’s eyes. He stood up and put his arms around his boyfriend, pressing on him from behind. He figured it would be stupid to say, “ _I’m sorry, I wasn’t there for you.”_ Killua knew he was sorry. His sorry only verbalized the issues—it couldn’t _fix_ anything.

 

“No one ever misses a pencil, Gon. No one misses it until they need it.” Killua grit his teeth, lowering his hand it bumped into an air diffuser. The ultrasonic diffuser kicked into action, sending a puff of e-liquid shortcake and magic dragon scent into the air.

 

“Z-lit.” Gon coached Killua to turn and face him. His lips puckered as he kissed Killua’s wet cheek. “I promise long as I’m breathing you won’t ever suffer again. You were always there for me and it’s time I returned the fav-” He grunted as the tall boy collapsed on top of him in a bundle of sorrow.

 

They both fell on the dirty hardwood floor.

 

Killua buried his head in Gon’s chest. His muscular arms wrapped around Gon’s waist, squeezing him tighter with every tear that fell from his face. “It pisses me off when I think about it. So many people did me wrong. Strangers who had no business butting in even got in my way. But I never stopped loving you. I’m so scared, tha-”

 

Gon coed. He held Killua’s head upwards by the back of his neck. Whispering sweet nothings in his ear, he kissed the insides. “I said, I loved you first. I mean every word, when I was 12 years old, okay?”

 

“Then don’t fucking leave.” Killua concluded. “Don’t even joke like that. I don’t know how I’ll cope.” His head brushed against the collar around Gon’s neck, it made the padlock rattle to the pounding of their hearts.

 

Gon spread his thick thighs, allowing the skinny boy to settle between them. “This better?” He asked, feeling Killua’s teeth in his shirt.

 

Killua’s dangerous jaws chomped down on the cloth to prevent himself from sobbing. He was not going to make sounds, he would suffer in silence like he had done for so many years. “Hrrm.” He grunted.

 

“Okay.” Gon shuddered slightly at the wetness applied to chest. “Do you want to break in my new tag?” He smiled through his tears. “You want to play with what you don’t have?”

 

“Don’t treat me like some damn child.” Killua growled, his blue eyes— damaged and determined peeked at Gon. He grinned, the same cunning way he did when he was younger. “I’ll take when I feel like it.” He delivered a long kiss to Gon’s lips.

 

Gon delicately kissed back. A new scent perked his nose…... _shortcake? Something else fruity?_ He took another deep breath, “It smells so good.”

 

Killua could taste the smell. “I knocked the little air diffuser on accident.” He nibbled on Gon’s lips his taste buds salivating to the facade of sugar. The flavor of sweetness danced on his tongue as the intoxicating scent of goodness filled his nose.

 

A bolt of electricity zipped, then broke off into many little sparks to parade around their skin.

 

Gon’s body felt dirty, hot and needy all of a sudden. Killua's overly aggressive touch was welcomed on his body. Forbidden pleasures filled him, and his boyfriend was happy to fulfill. He opened his legs wider, as Killua filled the gap between them more, more and _more_ until there was barely any space left.

 

Killua's sharp nails scooped up flesh, clawing at Gon’s ass. "Mine..."

 

“Yours. All yours to love.” Gon whispered. The more he thought about it, _the more he accepted it._ Without Killua—Gon’s life wasn’t entertaining. There was no one to satisfy his kinks. No one to make Gon speak out about how he really feels. No one to shower him in 24/7 love and support.

 

“But do you love me or my dick?” Killua murmured, nipping on Gon’s shoulder.

 

Gon’s mind grew hazy, taking in more gulp fulls of air. He pulled Killua in for another kiss. “Does it matter?” His nose inhaled the fruitiness of blueberry and strawberry with the coolness of mint. “It’s still _you.”_ A signature smiled remained— bright, gorgeous, intriguing.

 

_Gon’s words sliced through Killua like a knife, each gesture acted like a bandaid to heal it._

 

“Alright.” Killua lowered his pants and pointed at his boxers. He yanked Gon by the collar, dragging him to smell his cock.

 

Gon’s mouth started to salivate as his eyes built up with lust at Killua's large bulge. He wanted to grope the warm hunk of flesh. He desperately opened his mouth, only to have Killua yank him away before his tongue could touch the cloth.

 

Killua popped Gon’s ass. "In here?" His voice dropped more deviously as he shoved two fingers into Gon’s mouth, “Or in here?”

 

“In anyway that will please you.” Gon purred, as a pale hand ran over his black locks, the earring in his ear, then traced down to the leather collar on his neck.

 

Killua smirked, slipping another finger in Gon’s mouth. “Suck them good then, baby boy. They are going in your ass.”

 

Sweetly, Gon sucked on Killua’s fingers. The bitter copper taste of blood remained from when he punched them against the wall.

 

“Come on, I know you can do better.” Killua pressed his cock to the side of Gon’s face. The tip smeared a bit of pre-cum on his nose. “Imagine you’re sucking on _this_.”

 

Gon groaned, as Killua’s heavy member throbbed angrily against his flesh. His pink tongue rolled over the red droplet that littered pale fingers, as it moved in the space between them. He sucked inwards until they almost scratched the back of his throat.

 

Killua whistled, “Good boy.” A bit more voltage danced in the palm of his hand as he rubbed his dick. “As a reward, you can kiss my tip.” He pulled his fingers out of the warm cavern.

 

Gon licked the drool from his lips as he brought them in contact with Killua’s cock head. He planted a long smooch on the delicate pale skin. The taste of blood and pre-cum lingered on his tongue but the fruity smell in the air replaced the rotten taste.

 

“Killua…” The short boy breathed heavily on his boyfriend’s cock. “Oh, I think you can just…”

 

White locks covered devious eyes, as fingers slipped between the cloth and into Gon’s hole. Killua moaned, “Damn, sunshine. You’re still loose from last night.”

 

“That will...m-ma-make things faster?”

 

“Hmm, yes. I know you love things that go _really_ fast.”

 

“Godspeed fast.” Gon shouted, jaw trembling as the wonderful sensation of being entered shot through him.

 

Killua pressed his hand over Gon’s mouth. The chemicals in the air redded the white around his pupils. “Hush…” He wiggled his slender fingers. “You have to keep your volume low or I’ll get a gag.” Gon fought back a scream, as sharp teeth nipped at his ear. “Try not to wake up Kalluto.”

 

The smoke swirled around them. Clothes weren’t taken off, but dropped low enough to allow intimacy.

 

A feeling of europa shimmered in them both as they grew intoxicated with one another. Reddish blue eyes mirrored reddish brown. Hands devoured flesh, as soft moans filled the atmosphere.

 

“Even this…” Killua sank into Gon’s heat. In the darkness the world pared down to the heat of contact—the slide of his pale hands along Gon's rib cage. “Marking your body isn’t enough.”

 

Gon’s heart spilled out emotions from his head to his toes as Killua made love to him on the dirty studio floor. He panted, “In comparison to how you had to suffer?”

 

Lightning zipped around Killua as he rocked in and out. Tenderly, he thumbed the apple of Gon’s cheek. Under the bright light he could drink up the sight of him: lips swollen, pupils blown, hair disheveled. He spoke gruffly, “In comparison of how much I need you.”

 

Gon moved his lips, carefully kissing the scars that covered Killua’s body. “Z-lit.” His hands gently stroked the abused pale flesh. “Take more of me.” He bit his lip to resist speaking, “ _Until there is nothing left. I just want to be full of you. All the painful experiences replaced with your pleasure.”_

 

Killua kissed Gon— _just because he was broken just like him, but he was still beautiful._

 

It was a slow kiss, their tongues ran over the roofs of their mouths, fingers woven through hair, and hearts pounded in unison. Zesty aromas aroused heated feelings to be verbalized. High off the buzz, hips moved to the cry of ecstasy.

 

“8 years ago, on the day you named me Z-lit.” Killua sucked on Gon’s skin, his teeth lightly gnawing on flesh. “You saved me from a hell you can’t even begin to comprehend.”

 

“It w-wa-was an….an.. _ack_! accident.” Gon confessed, moaning each time Killua's heavy hot member rubbed his insides. “I was running away from my problems. I just needed a friend.”

 

“I don’t care.” Killua kissed the newly formed bruise. “Sunshine, you don’t know how elated I was when you called me your friend. I never felt more cherish in my life.”

 

Gon let out a yelp as Killua sped up his thrust a bit more. Killua gripped Gon's waist so hard, his nails were biting the skin. It was so good, Gon couldn't get enough.

 

"S-so good," Gon moaned against Killua’s skin. "Z-lit, _unghh_." His breaths were punched out of him with every Godspeed movement. He could barely hear, it was like balls of cotton were in his eardrums.

 

“I know, sweetheart.” Killua relaxed, as Gon tried to match his thrust. “This is _just_ how you like me.”

 

Every squirm Gon made, Killua would lightly pitch caramel skin to settle him back down on his dick. Each sound Killua let slip from his lips, Gon would lean up and kiss a scar on his pale flesh. They touched all over each other, until they were both hot messes: _sloppy, lazy, confused but satisfied._

 

Gon looked down to see the collar and Killua’s cock moving at Godspeed inside him. Tears built up in eyes, “I feel so…” He finally landed on a word to describe the sensation. “Happy. I’m so happy.” He sniffled, “I feel so beautiful and appreciated.”

 

The collar on Gon’s neck rattled to Killua snapping his hips. Gon hummed pleasantly, satisfied at being full. He hugged Killua closer, showering him in affection.

 

“Me too, because you’re with me.” Killua encouraged, eyes getting hazy with emotions. “I said a long time ago, that I didn’t know if things would ever be okay and it might hurt the both of us. But we’ll be fine long as we have each other.” He hammered into his lover. “Back then, I didn’t know much, but I like to think I’m a little smarter now. So I’ll correct it…..things are only fine if we make them. Fine is a matter of opinion. Which is probably why I ask what you want so much, I struggle to separate what is fine to you. I don’t _get_ the goodness in you.”

 

“That’s no-nooot your fault. You’re just a villain because you’re desperate for affection you lost over the years….But this is not how to have a change of heart. It’s just like in my comics, innocent people turn evil for a reason.” Gon shook his head, “Your old family failed you, Killua. They failed Alluka and Kalluto, too. But I’m here now.” He tensed up as Killua buried himself in him. “I’m never letting go of my hero.”

 

“No.” Killua disregard, “You don’t get it. I said it over and over again, but _you don’t_ get it.” He stopped moving. Blue eyes stared into brown. “You saved me, Gon. You saved me by giving me a way to cope with my situation. But you can’t help me. _Nobody_ can help me.”

 

Gon stared at the scars all over Killua’s body. Sadness flooded his eyes, “If I would have been there earlier….Before, no.” He denied his thoughts, “You’re sorta right about what you said on our first date….Superheroes don't exist...Life isn’t really like a comic book.” His hand pressed against Killua’s heated cheek. “You can learn new things, but never get over trauma, not even with all counseling in the world.”

 

“Stupid, huh?”

 

“No, I feel the same way. But you have to try! You have to.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Killua swallowed dryly, “Last night when I asked you, if your hero is not in there…will you leave, you know what I meant right?” He squeezed Gon’s hand.

 

Gon bit his lip. He _knew._ There had been so many signs all along, beginning with how Killua acted around him. But he had refused to acknowledge it, because that would mean…

 

“You’re just sick, Killua! Damn it. You’re sick, and your brain doesn’t comprehend things.”

 

“Is that your choice? After I respected all your wishes, you’re going to be just like my parents and force things upon me? I’ve done nothing but do what you want. I do what everyone wants! So why does everyone treat me like this?”

 

“Because we can’t accept it!” Gon snapped, unable to say, “ _I can’t accept the fact you don’t want to get better. I can’t love you, if you love yourself as a psychopath. My love is because I care about you and want you to get better.”_ He whimpered, “Alluka and Kalluto and I. You can’t… please for us. Your family...”

 

They slowly got stoned, making sweet love to tune of lightning dancing across their flesh. They focused on the sensation of their bodies being connected. Mouths moved to kiss, to bite, to ramble on about incoherent nonsense until they were both left in a fit of giggles.


	20. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are about to read a downhill roller coaster spiral with no seat belts. Please keep all hearts, tears, and other personal things in your body. Enjoy your emotional experience. (≖ᴗ≖ *)

Gon would do anything in the name of love. Which is why he always ended up getting hurt. His actions reflected what his heart wanted. But sometimes the heart doesn’t always tell you what you need.

 

It was simply the stubbornness of human will. The stubbornness of him wanting everything to end happily.

 

Gon hummed happily, pulling down a bunch of plates from the cabinets. He decided the first he’d do as a mom is ensure Killua, Alluka, and Kalluto ate a good meal every night. Eating food was an important part of maintaining good mental health.

 

Kalluto’s eyes were glued to the oven. Wide purple eyes marveling at the food cooking inside, “It looks so good.” He whistled, “How much more longer?”

 

“You tell me.” Gon placed the cookbook in front of Kalluto.

 

The child narrowed his eyes reading aloud, “One hour thi-” He shook his head, then looked up at Gon. “But it’s already been cooking for a while now.”

 

“Then subtract that time from when we put it in to find out how much longer we have left.”

 

“What time is it?”

 

“10:30!” Alluka shouted from the living room. She raised her pencil in the air, “After dinner, can you help me with my homework, Gon?”

 

“Sure, I need to study up on math.” Gon confirmed, “I take my SAT tomorrow.” He pointed at the cook time in the book. “Listen here, little one….” He had to speak a little louder than the pressure cooker. “Time is all about basic counting.”

 

Kalluto nodded. He held up his hands, using his fingers to count up to 8, “1, 2, 3, 4, 6,”

 

“5.” Gon corrected, lifting Kalluto’s thumb. “That’s 5.”

 

“5?” Kalluto repeated, “All your fingers….make 5.” Gon gave him a nod. His eyes-lit up with comprehension. “Is that why it’s called high-five?” He raised his hand up.

 

Gon high-fived Kalluto. “Yes!”

 

A rare smile crossed Kalluto face. The child felt his heart swelling with pride. “5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!” He wiggled his other fingers.

 

“So what comes before 10?”

 

“Duh, 9. I just said it.”

 

“One hour is one number above the one we started at.”

 

“We put it in at 7! But it also said 30 men.” Kalluto shrugged, “I don’t know where we’re going to get them from, but we have some dea-”

 

“HEEEEYY!” Killua grabbed the cookbook from his little brother. “It says, minutes! MINUTES!” He pointed at the word. “30 minutes.”

 

“Oh.” Kalluto slowly nodded, “What are minutes?” He snatched the book from Killua.

 

Killua rolled his eyes, as he turned down the stove. “Gon, you could have taught him reading skills before math.” He pulled the top off the pressure cooker, to stir the rice.

 

“Reading and math go hand and hand, it doesn’t matter what gets taught first.” Gon tapped his chin, “Well at least I think not. I don’t know.” He motioned for Killua to move, “Either way it’s time for the meatloaf to come out. Kalluto, go set the table.”

 

“Okay, mommy.” Kalluto grabbed the plates and silverware from the counter, then scurried over to the table.

 

“You want me to get it?” Killua rubbed Gon’s back. “If I burn myself, you can always heal me.”

 

Gon scoffed, “I’m not gonna burn myself.” He put on the oven mit, as he opened it up. A wave of heat slapped him in the face. “Shit..” Carefully, he reached in to grab the pan.

 

Killua whistled, at the sight of Gon bent over. “You shouldn’t do poses like that in the kitchen, sweetheart.” He grabbed him by the hips, thrusting his pelvis. “It makes me want to do poses like this.”

 

“Haha!” Gon laughed, “Oh my God! Killua…. if I drop this meatloaf, Haha! I will kill you!” He laughed some more, “I’m laughing but not joking. I’m laughing to refrain from hurting you.”

 

Killua threw his his hands up with cunning grin on his lips. “Okay. I’ll just stand here.” A little blush washed over his face, “and let you throw it back on me.”

 

Gon pulled out the meatloaf, and bumped his hips against Killua. “There. Happy?” He flashed him a smile.

 

“That was anticlimactic.” Killua whined.

 

“Well the kitchen isn’t the place to be all sexy.” Gon turned to carry the meatloaf to the table. “Bring the rice over, will ya?”

 

“I was actually going to make rice milk. My special treat.” Killua scooped the rice into a glass bowl. “It won’t take but another 3 minutes.” He reached into the cabinets, “I’ll add cinnamon, sugar and vanilla.”

 

“We have milk?” Gon mumbled, under his breath. He stabbed the knife in the meatloaf, cutting it into individual slices.

 

Alluka brought the bottle of ketchup to the table as she sat down. “You should go to college to be a teacher or a chef.” She hummed happily, “You’re just so good at everything, Gon.”

 

“Gosh, Alluka…” Gon took a seat. “I don’t know about that.” Out the corner of his eyes he caught sight of Kalluto shoving a slice of meatloaf in mouth. “Hold on! We haven’t even sa-.”

 

Kalluto kept on chewing and shrugged his shoulders.

 

Gon sighed, “You eat just like Killua does.” He recalled the first date he went on with Killua. “Like no one ever told you to eat with your mouth closed.”

 

Alluka beamed proudly, “I don’t!” She lifted a slice of meatloaf on her plate. “I eat like a young lady.” She clapped her hands together, praying over her food.

 

“Thats….” Gon grew quiet and closed his eyes. He prayed with her and concluded, “Amen.” When he looked back up, Kalluto was squeezing ketchup in his mouth. “HEY! You do not do that!” He grabbed the ketchup from his small hands.

 

Kalluto licked the ketchup from his lips.

 

Alluka grabbed the ketchup bottle, “Like this, little brother.” She squeezed a bit on her plate. “Then you dip it.” She used her fork to cut a little piece and dip it in the sauce. “Now you can eat it.”

 

Kalluto nodded vigorously. He followed her example, finally picking up his silverware.

 

Gon lifted two slices of meatloaf on his own plate. “I hope it taste good.” He took a bite, “I followed the book but also used some of my Aunt Mitos’ recipe.”

 

“I like it!” Alluka praised, taking another bite. “Kalluto definitely likes it.”

 

“I don’t care how it taste.” Killua came out of the kitchen, smiling ear to ear. There was a little pep in his step, as he carried the hot bowl of rice milk over to the table. “It fills my heart with joy knowing this is our first family meal together.”

 

Alluka held her plate up, nonverbally asking to get some first.

 

Killua scooped up some and placed it in her plate. “It’s all according to my plan. See? I said, I’m going to take good care of my lambs.” He gave a quick kiss to the side of Alluka’s cheek. “And I delivered.”

 

Happily, the girl returned a kiss back. “Makes me so happy!” Alluka placed her bowl back on the table. “To see you happy big brother.”

 

“Awe,” Killua let out a happy hum as he scooped some rice milk onto Kalluto’s plate.

 

The 10 year old squeezed his eyes shut, as his brother planted a kiss on his forehead.

 

“I think we should take a picture or something!” Alluka suggested. She blew on her spoonful of rice milk, before timidly bringing it to her mouth.

 

Kalluto complained, “I hate pictures!” He stirred his rice up, “Can’t we just enjoy the moment? Besides, a picture can’t capture a feeling.”

 

“Hmm…” Killua’s blue eyes locked with Gon’s hazel one’s. He poured some food into his boyfriend’s bowl. “Valid point, little lamb.” His voice lowered, as he leaned inwards capturing his lips with Gon’s. “If a picture could contain feelings, I’d have a bunch of Gon.”

 

Gon took a sharp breath, savoring the long kiss Killua pressed on him. It felt  _ perfect.  _ It felt  _ good.  _ How could something so sensational, be so wrong?

 

The blue eyed boy, nuzzled him. “I love you.” He said softly.

 

“Love you, more.” Gon whispered.

 

Killua pulled away to pour the rest of the rice milk on his plate. He sat down and smiled at his family. It was so interesting watching them. Kalluto was gulping down his portion. Alluka was eating with a bit more moderation. Gon was zoned out.

 

It was like Gon was there, but he was not there.

 

The black haired boy clicked his spoon around the sides of his bowl. He did this a few times before eating a little bit. At first, Gon was a little surprised. His face twisted up a bit in confusion as he felt his taste buds go to a place of nostalgia— _ Killua when he first left oatmeal for him. _

 

“Do...does…?” Gon was well aware that Killua had made this in one giant pot. But that made everything even more weird. He scooped up the clumpy rice. This time he ate a bigger portion. “Does rice milk always taste like this?”

 

Alluka looked at him strangely, “Yeah. This is an  _ always  _ taste.” She hooted, “It’s so sugary sweet!”

 

Gon blinked his eyes rapidly, “ _ Wow, do I have a few things to tell you. This is going to be really shocking, and you might want to throw up. But I mean, you’ve eating this for years and the damage might be already done.” _

 

Kalluto seemed to catch on, “Why?” He brought the oatmeal away from his mouth. “Is it poisoned? My old mommy used to make it with poison, but this doesn’t taste li-”

 

“No. No!” Gon darted his eyes over to see a devious smirk resting on Killua’s face. “I’m sure, Killua made it.” He rolled his tongue viciously, “From all the  _ love  _ in his heart.”

 

Killua’s white hair bounced as he nodded. “Love. It’s the most important ingredient...”

 

“And not the milk, right?” Gon tried to drop as many hints as he could. “THE MILK!”

 

“Milk always taste better than using water It’s called rice milk for a reason.”

 

“Because it makes it creamy and chunky?”

 

“Yup!” Killua took a large spoonful. He chewed as he spoke, “Don’t you like it this way? It’s Alluka and Kalluto’s favorite way.”

 

Gon eyeballed the kids, “Oh…” That was all he could say. He pitied them, and their pure minds. They were too sold in the belief that Killua would never harm them. They would never think Killua would put  _ that  _ in their food. Especially, if their own mom used to poison them.

 

Kalluto ate more of his portion, “It’s fine.”

 

Alluka gave a friendly recommendation, “How about tomorrow, you make your own version on rice milk, Gon? I would like to taste your way too!” She waved her spoon around. “I really like eating good food!”

 

Gon grunted, “It would depend on the time.” He ate more meatloaf. “I have to leave and take my test in the morning.”

 

The joy on Killua’s face faded slightly. He loudly scraped his fork across his plate, making a high pitched squealing sound. The veins on his arms bulged out, as he grit his teeth. “Like what we discussed earlier doesn’t even fucking mat-” All eyes fell on his blue ones. The pressure made him pause. “What?”

 

Kalluto chomped harder on his food. Alluka turned her attention back to her plate. Gon was the only one who didn’t shy away.

 

“Killua, we talked about this.”

 

“Really? I thought we did too, but obviously we both drew different conclusions.”

 

“Pff,” Gon rolled his eyes, “The fuck does that mean?”

 

Killua arched a sly brow. He slowly used his mouth to drag piece of meatloaf from his fork. 

 

Gon stood up, slamming his hands on the table. “Use your damn words!” He glared at him, “You want to move your mouth about other things.”

 

Blue eyes shimmered as the slits narrowed. “ _ I said everything I had to earlier. _ ”

 

“Fine.” Gon barked. He hated that Killua was being moody and difficult with him. This was exactly why Killua needed help: to work on his social emotion interaction skills. “Where is the front door?”

 

Alluka mumbled, “We really don’t have a front door. We sorta just have a door?” She pointed to the staircase. “It’s up there. I haven’t really been up to the house after I helped Killua set the house on fire.”

 

Killua blurted. “ALLUKA! WHAT THE HELL?!” He shot his sister a look. 

 

Gon choked on air. ‘ _ There were only crazy people in this home.’ _

 

“Well!” Alluka shouted, “You talked about not keeping secrets!” She started to panic, at the realization her big brother might be mad at her. Hastily, she snapped her fingers. “You told me, go ahead set the house on fire, you want to get rid of the pain anyway! You want to destroy all the times they looked at you like some freak. The only way to do that is….” Her eyes watered, “Big brother you made me do it!”

 

“Shit! Shit..” Killua rose to his feet, “Gon.” A nervous smile flashed on his face. “Sweetheart, baby boy...Let me,” He staggered as lightning crackled off his body. “Let  _ Z-lit _ , explain _. _ ”

 

“That’s it. You’re so far past the line of sanity, you can’t even see the line! It’s a dot to you!” Gon shook his head furiously, “I’m leaving. You get yourself fucked!” He stormed towards the front door.

 

Blue eyes flashed in delirium. “Wait, Gon!” Killua touched his shoulders desperately, pale fingers squeezing the flesh. “You can’t go.” His tone became somber and malicious. “I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU! WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?”

 

“Then PERISH!” Gon barked.

 

“You don’t know even half of all the horrors I’ve committed, how many people I had to slaughter to make this possible.” Killua looked at his blood covered hands. Then his cold blue eyes dashed up to marvel at Gon’s beautiful figure. A crazed laugh slipped from his mouth, “TO BE HERE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!”

 

“YOU CANNOT KEEP ME HERE! Just because I suck your dick for free doesn’t mean I can suck all your problems away!”

 

“We’re a couple. You love me. I love you. But I’m in control...” Hastily, Killua pressed kisses up Gon’s neck. The small boy trembled to the touch of lips on his flesh. Killua’s sharp dangerous nails drew circles on Gon’s thigh. “Someone has to be in control of our family.”

 

“Fuck no!” Gon pushed Killua away from him. “You know what they do to psychopaths! They lock them up and throw away the key and that’s the crap that’s going to happen to you.” His brown eyes glared at him menacingly, “You probably wanted to set the house on fire so your mom and dad’s corpuses would burn to ashes. To erase any proof of their existence! Because you’re just that kind of vengeful person, Killua! You’re never satisfied, until everything is your way.”

 

Killua growled, “That’s NOT TRUE!” He pounded his fist on floor, “ITS NOT! I WOULDN’T EVER!”

 

“So why in the middle of the fire, did Kalluto tell me, that his old mommy’s body was burning?”

 

“Kalluto!” Killua snarled in his direction. 

 

“It..it slipped out. It was an accident, really.” Kalluto timidly sipped his Kool-Aid.

 

“My little lambs!” A storm of lightning encased Killua’s body. He hissed, “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?”

 

“You did this to yourself, big brother.” Alluka started to softly grieve, “I said you needed to chill out.” She buried her face in her hands.  _ She couldn’t bare to see Killua snap _ . “You didn’t listen to me. There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to ge-”

 

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT IT!” Killua bellowed, “We’re gonna sit here and eat like a family.”

 

“No!” Gon rejected, “I'll tell the police everything!" He took the first step on the staircase.

  
  
"Who cares? You'll think they'll actually believe you? You think they can see me? And if they can, will they believe that I have superpowers?" Killua cracked a slight laugh, "THIS IS MY logic baby boy. My rules, my way." He rose to his feet, and reached in his pants pocket. “So might as well not even waste time climbing up those stairs.” He pulled out a shiny silver key. “You’re never going to get out or get to a cell phone.”   


 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Gon cut his eyes at Killua, “You locked us down here?!”

 

Killua smirked, “Locked is such a cruel term. I like to think of it as keeping my family safe.” He placed the key on his tongue.

 

Gon bolted from off the stairs. “I swear to God, if you swallow that Killua!” He reached out to the grab the tall boy by the collar.

 

Killua doged at Godspeed and flipped his boyfriend to the ground. “If I swallow, the key to your freedom, _ what _ ?” The nickel silver sparkled in the artificial lightning, as his pink tongue teasingly rolled over it. “Didn’t you hear me, earlier? I said you saved me. You are  _ my  _ key to freedom, Gon! You help me cope with things, learn to understand things!”

 

“I have to take my SAT test.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I’m not throwing away my shot!”

 

“Are you going to come back to me? Or are you going to return to that fake love?”

 

Gon swallowed dryly as tears perked the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry, Killua. I really am.”

 

Unable to meet Gon’s gaze, Killua lowered his eyes. “No.” He apologized, gulping down the key.  “ _ I’m  _ sorry.”

 

Mortified eyes watched Killua’s adam’s apple bob.

 

Gon screamed, grabbing his boyfriend by the shirt. “YOU FUCKING CRAZY FUCK!” His fist trembled ready to slug him in the face. “YOU LUNATIC!”

 

Alluka burst out in a flood of tears, “Big brother, how co-cooould y-you?!” The rest of her words hit the air as babbles of nonsense.

 

Kalluto finally put down his Kool-Aid and smacked his lips together. He had tried to warn these people Killua was no ones savior. He had tried to expose to them how bad Killua could be. He tried to show Killua’s heartless and cruel nature. BUT NO. No one heeded to his attempts to reveal the truth.  _ This utter disappointment and disbelief, was what they deserved to feel. _

 

“Haha!” Killua giggled hysterically, “Think of it as home security!” He leaned down and kissed caramel knuckles clutching the fabric of his shirt. “I’m protecting us from more pain. We can’t get hurt in here! It’s own little world here!” He wrapped his arms around Gon’s waist and pressed their foreheads together. “All the bad memories will be irrelevant because we’ll make new ones together each time it hurts.”

 

“Get off me!” Gon barked, jerking away from Killua. “When I was talking about memories and being bullied and your whole entire family situation.” He rubbed his temples, “I didn’t mean like this!” He sat back down at the table. “This is...you’re a psycho for real!”

 

Killua’s twisted grin grew, “If this is what it takes…” He cracked his super charged fist. “For us to be a happy family.” A shadow crossed his face, “THEN I HAVE NO REGRETS, OTHER THAN NOT DOING THIS SOONER.” He chuckled to himself, eyes staring at Gon. “And...If your claim about love being everlasting and addictive stands..." The bitter roll of his tongue made him sound sinister, "Then you'll just have to put up with me."   


 

"What!?" Gon’s voice cracked like he was suddenly the bad guy. "That's...what kind of logic?" His brown eyes shifted to one of worry as his heart pounded out of time. "I don’t care if it all ends here! I'll kill myself!"

  
  
"I won't let you do that.” Killua leaned over to kiss Gon’s head. “You have a family you need to live for. Remember, you’re a  _ mommy  _ now.” He motioned to Alluka and Kalluto. “You have little lambs depending on you.” The look on his face switched to one more sadistic. “You need to live on, here by my side where you belong."

 

The statement left Gon completely discombobulated. He stabbed his fork at the meatloaf, trying to piece together everything that just went down.  _ If he flaked out on Alluka and Kalluto, he’d be an asshole. But what he could he do when Killua didn’t even?  _ His brown eyes dimmed and lips formed a firm line that slowly curled up into a smile,  “You have no clue what you’re saying, Killua. Too much of the sun isn’t good for anyone.”

 

“Unless you’re a sunflower like me, then you thrive off the sun’s beating rays!” Killua urged, “Lambs need the sun, too! Every living thing needs…” His lightning storm died down, as he inhaled trying to gather his wits. “I’m the leader of our family. I’m in charge.” He pointed at himself to reassert his dominance. “So everyone has to respect my wants, because I give y’all what you want.  _ I’m fair.  _ All I want is a happy family! AND WHAT I AM GOING TO TAKE IS A HAPPY FAMILY!”


	21. Of comic books and supervillains

Most people are afraid to show you who they really are, but Killua was never one to hesitate over revealing his bloodthirsty nature. Showing off the monster inside of him was easier than keeping emotions at bay. His siblings and Gon never seemed to mind, they were always by his side.

 

Until now.

 

Gon was pissed off. Alluka was melancholy. Kalluto was gloomy.

 

The reactions of his family bothered Killlua. They were supposed to be _‘happy_.’ He was seeing a severe lack of happiness.

 

The 16 year old clicked his tongue, “In the morning y’all better be hap-“ He paused recalling how Alluka claimed, “ _You can’t force happiness._ ” Maybe he couldn’t. But he could attempt to make them happy. “In the morning, I’ll make waffles.” He waved them off to bed.

  
  
Kalluto rolled his eyes, “Whatever.” He grumbled under his breath.

 

A storm of utter and completely discombobulation swept over Gon. He stumbled away from Killua. “Asshole.”

 

Killua attempted to grab him, “Baby boy, come on don’t be like that.”

 

“Don’t touch me.” Gon huffed, “Don’t fucking touch me.” He walked away from him. “I’m going with Kalluto and Alluka.”

 

“Are you serious? I’m doing this for us.” Killua quipped.

 

Gon frowned slightly, following Alluka and Kalluto down the hall. How could Killua do this? Real love was everlasting and could withstand any distance.

 

If Killua didn’t think their love was that strong, then he must have never loved Gon at all.

 

Alluka smiled at Gon weakly, “You can sleep in Kalluto’s room.” She nudged him over to the door frame.

 

Kalluto shrugged, “Take the floor.”

 

“No way. I’m leaving.” Gon stated, “Killua might love me a little too much. I mean, I get he’s been obsessing over me for years but...”

 

Kalluto sucked on his teeth, “I love you, too!” His small hands fell lightly on the other male’s face. He repeated, “I love you, Gon! I love you! Alluka loves you!”

 

A twisted expression came on Gon’s face as he heard desperation in Kalluto’s words.

 

The youngest child ranted on, “We all love you, Gon! You’re our missing piece, Gon! YOU HAVE TO STAY! SO WE CAN BE...” A broken smile tugged on the side of his lips, “FAMILY.” He spoke out the word slowly, almost unsure of himself. His eyes squeezed shut as he struggled to release his grip on Gon. “If Killua can stay satisfied. I might have a real chance at happiness again.”

 

“Kalluto…” Gon put his larger hands on the child’s trying to calm him. “Its okay.”

 

A few tears fell down his face. “These tears are from dust, not because I’m actually sad about everything Killua did! How he drilled...he said…” His voice cracked, “He said that when you were back home, we’d be a real family.”

 

Gon’s brown eyes fell, as he looked at his feet. Guilt played his heart like a harp. “He did?”

 

“I believe it!” Kalluto fired out, “He kept saying it again and again. I knew how crazy it sounded. How crazy he was…” He stole a sharp breath as his small figure shuttered, “But I believe it.” His hands pulled away from Gon’s as he began to pace. “I believed it so much...I had the best dream ever with you here. I dreamed the 4 of us were happy. For the first time…” His etes lit up with an alarming brilliance to gaze upon Gon’s face like he was an angel. “I dreamed! I didn’t have a nightmare about all the death and killings… I DREAMED!”

 

Alluka blinked back tears of pity, “Oh, Kalluto….”

 

Kalluto’s tears were replaced with excitement. “You must stay, Gon! I want to dream again tonight! I want to dream tomorrow night!” His face beamed in pure joy, “I haven’t dreamed like this since mommy died!”

 

Rising to his feet, Gon struggled to explain. “Killua has you brainwashed to believe in a lie.”

 

“I know!” Kalluto cackled in a pitiful fit of laughter. “But I love it! I love every second of it!” He wheezed, as he reached out. His fingers curled around Gon’s shirt, clinging to him needly, “Every second of you! You’re like my replacement, mommy. Killua was right!”

 

Gon gulped, too nervous to try and pry the small boy away. He tried his best to warmly embrace him. “Kalluto.” A more endearing tone crossed his lips, “Can you tell me the truth about what Killua did?”

 

Kalluto looked at Gon anxiously. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to explain to him the rest of the truth, yet his voice was stolen from his throat.

 

It was at this moment he realized—Killua was an evil genius.

 

Killua’s wish had been for whatever any Zoldyck wished upon another would happen to them. And it _had._ Despite Kalluto and Alluka not dying their wishes came true.

 

Alluka must have wished for goodwill and luck for Killua to have Gon love him. Because Zushi was clearly head over heels in love with her…

 

And Kalluto… despite him fearing for so long how Killua’s wish would hit him, now he saw it. He must have wished for his siblings to shut up when they talked too much.

 

Kalluto opened his mouth once more to speak. His vocal cords were broken, no vibrations, no sound. He couldn’t speak.

 

Gon gave him a sideways look, “Huh? What happened to your voice!” There was shock and concern in his voice as he leaned over to embrace the young boy. “Do you need something!? Need water?!”

 

Kalluto shook his head. He moved his hands to put on a game of charades to explain their story.

 

“Killed?” Gon guessed off the stabbing hand motions. “Killua started off by killing everyone in his way?”

 

Kalluto nodded. He then rolled his hand together, putting a fist in a flat palm.

 

“With a ball?”

 

Kalluto shook his head. He pinched his fingers together trying to indicate, ‘ _small’_

 

“A small ball...umm?? A marble?!”

 

Kalluto nodded vigorously.

 

“Like in my comics? There is magic marbles that exist so spirits can wish on! Killua used it and wished them dead..somehow!”

 

Kalluto smiled and gave a thumbs up, then it flipped.

 

“But you’re sad. Because Killua did that…? It bothers you.”

 

Kalluto shook his head. He redid the ball, then the thumbs up and down.

 

“The wish has a time limit?”

 

Kalluto nodded then held up 2 fingers.

 

“Only 2 more days left!?” Gon blurted, “Well that’s...wait...Killua killed the humans who have their heart, huh? So it doesn’t really matter.”

 

Kalluto buried his head in Gon’s stomach. He bit his lip, shaking his head. He held up a single finger.

 

“All but one?” Gon raised an eyebrow, “Is this one, Hisoka?” He challenged, gritting his teeth. “Is Killua planning to kill him soon?”

 

Kalluto nodded, helplessly.

 

“Did you lose your voice because you can’t talk about it?”

 

Kalluto peeped, “I think.” He wiped his face, with his shirt sleeve. “Killua really lost his marbles without you here.” Terror creeped in his voice as he whimpered, “I’ve been so scared. I’ve been having nightmares!” He beggged Gon, “Please just stay! It can be like playing house! We can be a happy family.”

 

“Kalluto this is even more reason for me to leave.” Gon whispered gently, “I can get you and Alluka help.”

 

Alluka rejected, “No one will believe you. Those humans can’t see us! Unless it’s night outside.”

 

“There are some who can. I know some. I’m sure if I can just explain...everything will be fine.”

 

“FINE!?” Kalluto waved his hands around to gesture if all this qualified as ‘ _fine’_ to him. “Half of our family is gone! Without you, we’re barely a family! WE HAVE TO STAY TOGETHER!”

 

“Come with me then!” Gon offered to them, “Alluka teleport us all out of here.”

 

Alluka shook her head defiantly, “I can’t!” She bit her bottom lip anxiously, “Big brother would be so mad at me.”

 

“It’s no big deal, Alluka.” Gon flashed her a sincere smile, “I promise.” He coed endearingly. “Killua and I are just going through some emotional intercourse right now.”

 

“But if you…”

 

“I won’t leave. I just need to take my test, alright?” Gon declared, “I’ll send help. Just tell me where…” Hesitantly, he made a shaky promise. “I will come back and be a family with you and Alluka.”

 

“Really..!?” Kalluto said, his voice full of eagerness. There was hope in it. It was unknown if the hope was for Gon to submit to Killua’s will or actually get some help.

 

“What are we going to do about Killua when you leave?” Alluka’s mind scrambled to comprehend the infinite number of possibilities. Her teeth kept grinding together as she rocked back and forth. “Killua will be so pissed at me! So pissed. He’s already so pissed.”

 

“He doesn’t have to know I’m gone.” Gon recommended, “Tell him I’m sleeping late.” He motioned to Kalluto’s door. “Keep this locked all morning. I should be back by 1pm.”

 

Alluka and Kalluto shared an uncomfortable expression.

 

“I never make a promise I can’t fulfill.” Gon sweared.

 

The girl conceded slightly, “Alright.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Good luck on your test, Gon.”

 

* * *

 

It felt like everyone knew. Gon didn’t know why, but each random glance somebody stole at him—it was like they saw right through him.

 

‘ _Everyone knows I’m not a virgin anymore. They all know.’_ Gon gnawed on his bottom lip. His mind should have been focused on the SAT test in front of him, instead it kept searching for reasons. ‘ _Maybe it’s the walk. Or the hickeys.’_

 

He tapped his foot.

 

The problem stared back at him.

 

The test coordinator wrote on the board: _5 minute warning._

 

Brown eyes drifted from the board to the people around him. What were the odds he got stuck in a testing room with these Phantom troupe assholes? He felt them shooting more nasty looks at him.

 

Everyone definitely knew, Killua fucked him.

 

Why else would they be looking at him like that? How could they still be mad about before? Did they hold grudges that long? But they also couldn’t see Killua. Maybe they sensed him...or…?

 

“Time is up. Please close your testing booklet. We will now go to a short snack and bathroom break. Any snacks must be eaten outside the test taking room.” The test coordinator announced.

 

‘ _Time is up_?’ Gon frantically bubbled the last blanks on his answer sheet. It didn’t really matter, most of that math he didn’t know anyway.

 

A snicker came from behind him. “Looks like Hisoka was right the fruit is ripe now.”

 

He stood up to see Chrollo walking out the classroom with Machi. He didn’t want to follow out the class too closely with them, that would lead to unnecessary trouble. He pretended not to be paying attention as they passed the threshold. It wasn’t until he almost tripped did he growl at them.

 

“Oops, didn’t see you there.” Chrollo hummed notoriously. His eyes looked Gon up and down, “You should watch your step.”

 

Gon took a long breath. “Okay.” He babbled, his fingers netted around his shirt. “I’m just here to take my test alright?”

 

“I heard you were beefing with my crew, while I was away.” Chrollo murmured, “I don’t like that shit slick.” His voice grew menacing, “You going to pay for your crimes.”

 

“Crimes?” Gon fired out, “I ain’t do shit to no one.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking away to the bathroom.

 

The gang leader clicked his tongue in challenge. “I’ll sho-“

 

“Hey.” Kurapika waved to Gon. “You good? You weren’t in school on Friday?” He put up a hand to shield from Chrollo’s camera flash.

 

Gon shook his head. “I was…” He clicked his tongue as if trying to think for an excuse. “Trying to figure some things out. I needed a mental health day.”

 

“But not skipping, right?”

 

“Does a mental health day count as skipping?”

 

Kurapika sighed and shook his head. “I cannot ignore those assholes.” He grit his teeth, “I’m seriously getting to the point in my life where next time they mess with you, I’m going to have to hurt somebody.”

 

Gon leaned against the bathroom sign. “Don’t do that you have to graduate.” He walked inside. “You’re taking this test and you’re going to get into coll-” The air fled his lungs, as Kurapika pushed him forward.

 

“Move!” The blonde shouted, as a body barrelled in on them. He flicked around to slam his elbow roughly into Uvogin's rib cage. “What the fuck do you think you’re…?”

 

“Shut your shit.” Uvogin cried rawly. His massive hands dragged Kurapika's face against the bathroom wall.

 

“Kurapika!” Gon gasped.

 

A tall senior calmly strolled in, “I said, you’re going to pay for your crimes.” Chrollo restated, cranking his neck upwards. “You don’t walk away when I’m talking to you.” He clicked his tongue, dark eyes gazing at Gon.

 

Kurapika looked up at him, a straight line on his lips. “Screw off.”

 

“This fight is between the boy and I.” Chrollo tossed off his heavy fur jacket. He cracked his knuckles strolling closer to Gon. “So stay quiet.”

 

Uvogin banged Kurapika's jaw against the wall. Blood dripped from Kurapika’s busted lip as he croaked, “Gon...go g-get a teacher.”

 

A storm of anxiety plagued Gon’s brain. He timidly backed away from the gang leader.  He was supposed to be a hero! Didn’t heroes always beat bad guys?

 

He had to get away from here. Away from the blood, the fight, the school. He took off fast as his legs could take him, only to have his shirt be yanked back.

 

“I know you did not just try to ignore me for a second time.” Chrollo tightened his hold on Gon’s collar. “Guess I’ll have to…”

 

“HELP!” Gon let out the loudest bitch cry he could muster. “I NEED HELP!” His world began to flip completely upside down. Clammy hands with sharp fingernails, found their way to his cheek with a demonic touch. “He-“ His vocal cords numbed with fear.

 

Chrollo scolded, “Don’t ever beef with my gang.” He threw Gon against the hand dryer.

 

A sharp pain gashed Gon in the back. He felt a load of oxygen leave his body, as the creepy clown looking teen appeared with a dark smirk on his face. “Oh hell no.” His hands balled up in a tight fist.

 

Hisoka smirked wider, pulling out a knife. “I’m ready to kill. Illumi and I’s grave will never be filled.”

 

“H-hold on!” Gon barked, “You crazy…” He trembled at the knife lowering closer to his flesh. “Wait!” He wiggled away from him. “Hisoka, we need to tal-”

 

“You don’t ever talk to me like you are someone, bitch.”

 

“I’m trying to help _you._ ”

 

Kurapika headed butted Uvogin, "Damn, you!" He charged forward, leaping in the air to connect his foot to Hisoka's face.

 

The redhead tumbled to the ground. A slur of curses left his mouth, as his yellow orbs glared at Gon.

 

Gon repeated his previous statement, “We need to talk!”

 

Chrollo slammed a fist into the junior, “He said he was tired of yo-”

 

Two teacher came to the rescue. One of them demanded, “Hey! Break it up!” The other shouted, “Stop right now!”

 

There was a roar of loud chatter, as kids peeked in eagerly to see what was going on.

 

Chrollo innocently threw his hands up. “No problem. I was just trying to get his attention to ask a question.”

 

“No talking or asking about the test.” The teacher said.

 

Gon wheezed, coughing against the dirty bathroom floor. “He tried to jump my friend and I.” He pointed an accusing finger at Chrollo.

 

Chrollo raised a slick brow, “Not really.” He shot a look at Uvogin and Kurapika. “We did no such thing.” His foot lifted up off the ground slightly, ready to hammer into Gon’s stomach. “All we did was-”

 

“Heck no!” Gon rolled away. He struggled to rise to his feet. “They wan-”

 

“What’s your names?” A teacher demanded, “And what school are you from?”

 

The 16 year old grit his teeth. He couldn’t believe that the teachers were going to report _him_ for fighting. His brown eyes met blue with an equal determination.

 

"Killua..?" Gon’s jaw went agape as his brown orbs watched the unmistakable puff of fluffy white hair, dark deceptive blue eyes. "No..." He found the plea falling out his mouth, trying to find the strength to stop him. "No, Killua...please don't..."

 

Killua’s powerful lightning punches, illuminated voltage throughout his victim’s body. He was fast, too fast to see, too fast to defend against. They were completely doomed.

 

"Killua don’t ki..." Gon started to plead. Killua's blue eyes fell on him like a sniper deciding on it's next target.

  
"I really wish you wouldn't have came here." Killua muttered, sinking his deadly nails in the man's heart. “You should have just stayed home and been a good boy for me.” Lightning danced all around the bathroom. “Now, you’re just making things difficult.”

 

Gon blinked completely enthralled as Killua easily yanked out the man's heart. The sound of the muscles snapping out of place and veins bursting filled the air. It left a decorative arrangement of blood all over his hands, shirt and cheek. Blue eyes locked in brown as he allowed his victim to fall like a sack of hot potatoes.

 

Killua slowly extended the organ in his hand, presenting it like a gift.

 

Gon stood flabbergasted.

  
  
"I got this just for you, baby boy." Killua provided clarification, motioning to the heart gushing blood in his hands. "A symbol of my loving dedication to our family." He took an intimidating step forward, cracking a sideways smile as he watched Gon freak out.

 

"Wha..what?" Gon's pupils shrank, trembling with nervousness as they dashed around to look at the dead bodies around them. He breathlessly shouted, "What the hell? How did you find me?"

 

"You wanted help." Killua said in almost a robotic monotone. "Remember, I always come when you need me, Gon.”

 

“But how did…?”

 

“It’s like 2pm. I had to open up, Kalluto’s room door to see if you’re okay. Believe me, I was much more angry when I discovered you weren’t there.” Killua chuckled, crushing the heart in his hand. “I think I really freaked Alluka and Kalluto out. You should come back to check on them.”

  
  
It was almost like a was bad horror game. Where the killer was right on your trail but despite everything you couldn’t die, because you were the key to success. _Yeah that was right, this couldn't be real, Gon had to be stuck in some game. In some other alternate reality, away from the truth._ _  
_

 

Gon gave Killua a testy look, “You better not have…”

 

“I would never.” Killua confessed, a mischievous spark in his eyes.

 

"That's not very nice, Killua. Powers aren’t fair to use in a fight." Hisoka sneered, kicking Killua across the floor.

 

Killua’s cheeks bruised on impact. “Fuck!” His electric charge burned a path of smoke. “This is why you never should have left, Gon. In the real world, there are assholes like this.” Lightning zapped at his palms as he charged at Hisoka. “But don’t worry. You’ll be mine again, soon.”

 

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Gon hollered, darting out of the bathroom.  

 

Kurapika gave him a blank look, “Gon! Hold on…” He attempted to grab him. “Where are you going?”

 

Chrollo scoffed, “Running away like the pathetic coward he is.” He turned around, “Hisoka stop foolish around with yourself.”

 

Gon was well aware that they probably all thought he was crazy. The human mind over corrects itself. What they saw in reality was different from what he saw. _It was all a matter of perception._ Killua was nonexistent in their frequency.

 

How could someone save him from something they couldn’t see? How could someone protect from something they couldn’t see?

 

Maybe that was Gon’s first mistake. Killua would chase him till the ends of the earth if he knew he could get away with it. He had to go somewhere, that Killua wouldn’t dare to invade.

 

“Oh, Gon.” Biscuit smiled, when she caught his attention.

 

Gon froze up in mid run. “Hey…?” He choked out, twisting his fingers through his hair. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m giving out a test on the 400s hall. Glad to see you made it.”

 

“Y-yeah?”

 

“All your studying is finally going to hard work. I know you’ll do amazing.”

 

“Well…” Gon shifted his eyes around frantically. It wasn’t like he could keep running out the school now that Biscuit saw him. The woman would be crushed if he didn’t finish this test. “Hehe!” He flashed a bright grin, “I’m doing my best under these wild circumstances.”

 

“Circumstances?” Biscuit repeated. She tapped her chin, “If you’re worried about getting back home, I can take you. Don’t stress. It’s hard to think properly when you’re worried.”

 

Gon’s grin remained on his face. Of course, the lady would assume he was just having trouble with his aunt picking him up. She only assumed he had normal teenage problems. Nobody in their right mind would think, “ _This kid is trying to escape his crazy supervillain boyfriend._ ”

 

“Anyway, let me know.” Biscuit motioned to the time. “You better get back to class soon. Do your best.” She crossed her arms, “And don’t fool around so close to the front entrance, people will think you’re trying to leave.”

 

A forced laugh came from Gon’s lips. “Yep!” He stiffly headed off towards his testing room on the 600s hall. “I’ll definitely do my best.” If he could last an hour, he’d be able to get help. His eyes crept over to see the heavy doors sealing the school shut.

 

It was funny how long an hour was, when you really needed to be somewhere.


	22. Of comic books and supervillains

Everyone needed somebody to lean on. Everyone needs a little burst of inspiration when they were down. They needed a spark to encourage them to try again...or at least get back on their feet. That’s why the magical word “ _help_ ” was made. Help was a simple 4 letter word made to convey to people they were in need.

 

Gon had to get help. There were lots of other people who could see what he could... Ging could see it. Kite could see it. Surely in the notebook Ging kept, he wrote down stuff about other Hunters. He _had_ to.

 

“Yeah...yeah... nothing to see here just an average tee-“ He hiccuped out, “ager…” It sounded more like “ _t_ een _angst_ ” but that was fine too.

 

He panted a bit, fingers brushing against some graffiti art on the brick wall. A whistle was blown in his direction. “Yo. Fruitful boy. Or...should I say, Killua’s boyfriend.”

 

Gon was not going to fall for Hisoka’s taunts again. A part of him wished that Killua had actually murdered Hisoka already. The tall clown boy was annoying with how he managed to slither out of everyone’s grasp.

 

“That’s too damn far! I’m fucking out!” Gon muttered to himself going into a panic towards Biscuit’s car. “I’m really fucking...” He pulled on the door handle.

 

The car was still locked up tight.

 

“Hey, listen to me!” Hisoka barked, “You have some real explaining to do!”

 

The older boy’s voice grew louder until it was right above him. He flinched in preparation for a punch or kick in the back. None came.

 

A brown eye cracked open to meet yellow. “You think this shit is a game?”

 

Gon blinked rapidly. He could have pointed out how Hisoka and the rest of his crazy friends almost made him miss the rest of his test.

 

“Chrollo and that blonde got took in for questioning by the police.”

 

“What?” The black haired boy almost choked on air. ‘ _Kurapika was in trouble?’_ He couldn’t believe it. “When did this happen?”

 

For the first time, Hisoka didn’t get fresh with him or try to beat his face in for talking back. It was like the gang member actually possessed some self redeeming qualities to act like a decent human being.

 

“They wouldn’t let us back in our testing room after we were late. They went into the bathroom and saw the mess your boyfriend made.” Hisoka explained.

 

Brown eyes drifted up to see Hisoka, “You…” He growled, “What the fuck did you do to piss Killua off!?”

 

“Me?!” Hisoka revolted as if that was the most absurd thing ever. “Killua has it in his own twisted head, that he’ll get his happily ever after if he kills me.”

 

Gon didn’t even find the words to challenge that. The statement just sounded 100% something Killua would think. He shoved his hands in his pocket and tilted his head to the side slightly. “But how can you see them?”

 

“Because I’m just like you.” The redhead confessed, a sincere smirk dangling on his lips. He brought a finger to tap on his heart. “This beats for two.”

 

“Oh…” Gon murmured.

 

“You probably never met him. His name is Illumi. He is Killua’s big brother.” Hisoka said nonchalantly, “You can put together the pieces from there.”

 

Gon sighed deeply. He understood. He hated the fact he understood so clearly. He hated the fact of what he said before being so damn true. It _was_ him who gave Killua this power. It was _him_ who made Killua into who he was.

 

His eyebrows furrowed, the more he reflected on the past. “I met Killua a long time ago…” Gravity tugged the corner of his lip downwards. “I told him about stuff, I probably shouldn’t have. I didn’t know how damaged he really was.” A bit of compassion burned in his orbs. “I thought I could heal him myself and in the process made him completely dependent on me.”

 

Hisoka’s yellow orbs glowed eerily, “An accident?” The words rolled off his tongue way too accusingly for him to show any acceptance about this situation.

 

It would be too easy for Gon to agree. For him to agree would be taking the easy way out. He swore he could hear Killua’s nagging voice, “ _You have to take responsibility, baby boy…”_

 

Hisoka shifted, moving to tower over Gon. He sneered, “Not even you can lie to yourself…” Strands of his red hair blew as a few leaves whipped past them. “You made Killua because you were mad and upset at everyone. You saw him and thrust upon him fantasies of superheroes, friendship and love. Selfishly…” He leaned over to whisper huskily in the air between them. “Desperately.”

 

“I know.” Gon gulped, blinking back tears. He thought back to that night, he ran away from home and met Killua. The memory seemed to appear from nowhere, yet it was so vivid. The rage, the loneliness, the craving for his wonderland to be filled. “But I really thought… Killua was simply an imaginary friend. I didn’t want to think I was corrupting a real person.”

 

Hisoka scoffed, “You’re not a ripe enough fruit yet. Killua will forever take advantage of that...just look at you now.” He pulled away from him, taking note of the radioactive light emitting from him. “He’s gonna take until he can’t take from you anymore.”

 

“I KNOW THAT! I KNOW IT'S MY DUTY TO STOP THE MONSTER I CREATED! BUT IF NO ONE TELLS ME HOW….” Gon’s black hair covered his heart broken brown eyes. “How can I do it?” He whimpered. “I have hopes and dreams, I’m carrying. I don’t want to let anyone down. I want to love them.”

 

“Pff, Gon.” Hisoka gave a little shrug, before turning to walk away. “You know what you have to do.” He paused in mid step, to look at the younger male once more. “But word of advice...don’t let anyone touch you.”

 

“Huh?” Gon’s face twisted up in confusion. “Why? What will happen if people touch me!?”

 

Biscuit came back to her car. “Okay. We’re all set to go.” She looked at Hisoka, then at Gon. A teasing expression flooded her face. “Since when are you two such good friends?”

 

Hisoka shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. He walked over to linger by a brick pillar.

 

Briskly, Gon opened the car door with a shaky smile on his lips. “W-e..we’re not.” He hopped in the passenger seat. “T-thanks for the ride.”

 

“No problem.” Biscuit hummed, clutching the wheel. “You feel free to tell me anything, alright?”

 

“Okay.” Gon murmured, under the engine roaring to life. He really wanted to tell people. It was just that he didn’t want to sound like he belonged in a mental asylum. He looked out the window, to check that Killua wasn’t on his trail.

 

No sign of Killua.

 

That put him one step closer to freedom.

 

* * *

 

“Okay.” Killua drummed his fingers on the sofa. His blue eyes shifted between his siblings.

 

Alluka fumbled with combing her fingers through her long hair. “I..I think we should…”

 

“Ssshh.” Killua silenced her abruptly. He patted her head, “I get it.” It made sense to him… _Absolute and total sense._ His siblings just weren’t ready to accept everything. They were a bit freaked out, just like Gon. But they’d come around. They all would come around to be a happy family.

 

Alluka inhaled sharply, “Ya do?” She trembled slightly, afraid Killua would go off like he did this morning.

 

“Yep.” The 16 year old confirmed. “Sure, I might have been pissed earlier. I’m still not over it.” His fingers found their way to wrap around Kalluto’s neck. “But I’ve thought of a wonderful way for my little lambs to make it up to me.” He tugged on Alluka’s head.

 

Kalluto bit his bottom lip. He shifted his sight over at his sister. Fear constricted his vocal cords as slender pale fingers stroke his neck.

 

An insecure smile crawled on Alluka’s lips, “We’ll d-do anything.”

 

“Good.” Killua nodded, “because in a matter of minutes Illumi will be back with us.”

 

The locked room door rattled aggressively. It filled the room with an annoying clicking sound.

 

“If you think I was mad before, imagine how pissed Illumi is.” Killua tightened his hold around Kalluto’s neck. “Ya’ll might benefit from this negative reinforcement.”

 

A tense pain formed in Kalluto’s chest. He dug his teeth deeper in his lip until it busted. The taste of blood stung his tongue as the red substance oozed down his chin.

 

“Since we’re all in this together.” Killua pulled his siblings closer to him. “We get punished as a family.” His voice lowered, “Even though this could have all been avoided if the lambs would have listened to their shepherd.”

 

The rattling grew louder.

 

Alluka fought back a sob. “I helped transport you to Gon. I really did try to he-“

 

“Now.. no.” Killua kissed her head. He slowly rubbed her, “Don’t cry. You know what you were doing when you transported Kalluto’s mommy away from here.” His skillfully hand crawled up Kalluto’s neck, till a single nail pressed on his chin. The sharp edge sank in flesh to force him to look upwards. Bloodthirsty blue eyes met purple. “Doesn’t it piss you off, Kalluto? Alluka always does this to ya, huh?”

 

Kalluto gulped.

 

“She makes brash decisions and allows you to suffer the consequences.”

 

Alluka struggled to argue, “Th-that’s n-not tr-“

 

“Hush,” Killua jerked her down. “Little lamb, I’m speaking. Let me finish.” He wiped the tears from her eyes. “Least you can do is let me talk. So I don’t keep secrets from anyone.”

 

The 10 year old jerked uncomfortably against his older brother. He could feel Killua’s murderous intent. It didn’t matter if they did tell him where Gon was. Long as Killua didn’t have Gon back, there would be hell to pay. Being locked in this stupid cramped basement wasn’t enough—Killua planned to punish them.

 

“That’s just how Alluka is.” Kalluto mumbled, “I’ve grown used to it.” He didn’t have the courage to confess letting Gon go was a combined decision. “I do love my mommy. I...I miss him.”

 

A creaking sound filled the air, as the smell of warm blood hit their nostrils.

 

“But it wasn’t right to hold him here, against his will.” Kalluto shuddered, as Killua’s nail threatened to slice his neck wide open. “You can’t…”

 

“We can’t.” Killua corrected to reinforce this was a group effort. “ _We_ can’t.”

 

‘ _Oh God_.’ Alluka couldn’t believe her big brother had lost his marbles. Timidly, she croaked, “You c-“

 

“There is a difference between I want you and I need you.” A familiar voice hissed.

 

All eyes met the dark shadow, hovering near the hallway.

 

The shadow crept closer, long black hair swayed as it covered dangerous black eyes. “I’m afraid you haven’t learned of that difference yet, Kil.”

 

Killua’s circumstances were starting to look more grey by the minute, because sun was setting upon an ocean blue ending of happiness. Darkness was sweeping over a perfect ending and it was killing him. He could feel it in his soul, all his ambition draining away.

 

It burned.

 

It brought water to his eyes, but no tears fell. Only his heart. Killua’s heart was falling and Gon was supposed to be there to claim it. But Gon wasn’t there for him, either…

 

“Why?” Killua whispered to himself. “Why does everyone who say they love me, end up hurting me?” A dry laugh fell from his lips, “Guess it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done playing these games.” He stood up determined. “You’re not welcome here, Illumi. But if you want.” His palms motioned to Alluka and Kalluto.

 

Alluka begged, “No!” She whimpered, “Please no...don’t.” Her hands clenched around Killua’s shirt

 

“You can take them away since they’re ungrateful.” Killua offered, them up as a peace treaty. “Gon and I don’t ne-“

 

“You can’t take me away from my new mommy!” Kalluto shouted. He was almost afraid of his volume, but it was really hard to relax when he was being threatened. “You can’t!”

 

“You helped let Gon go.” The 16 year old shrugged his shoulders carelessly, “So obviously you don’t want him.”

 

The child grew agitated, “That’s not what we meant!”

 

Killua walked towards Illumi, showing his siblings off like cattle. “How about it?”

 

“Come now, Kil…” A new tone in Illumi’s voice made Killua tense up. The white haired boy froze in his tracks, becoming a statue. Slender fingers aggressively placed themselves on his shoulders, as a shadow loomed over him. “You can’t be that stupid. Even you know that good and evil must co-exist with each other.”

 

Killua’s eye twitched, “FINE! Go to hell already!” He cursed lowly.

 

“Two opposites can not exist together in reality. It distorts the balance of the world. Which is why you and Gon can never really be happy tog-“

 

“I SAID GO TO HELL, ILLUMI!” Killua barked. He ignored the confused glances he got from his siblings. The shadow looming over him began to morph and take the form of his old brother.

 

The dark eyed man combed through his hair. His voice was laced in disappointment, “You might have successfully killed off Mom, Dad and Milluki. But you haven’t killed me.” He glared down at his little brother harshly. “If you coward out now, I’ll have mercy on you.”

 

Killua let out a deranged laugh, “You know I’ve gone too far...Can’t stop now…” Hate was embedded in his soul and he’d done too much for it to be all for nothing.

 

“Gon doesn’t love you.” Illumi said simply, “He loves your power. He loves y-“

 

“I’M GOING TO KILL HISOKA AND THEREFORE KILL YOU SO SHUT YOUR TRAP!” Killua howled. He raised both his supercharged hands in the air, as if wanting to murder the ghost before him. “Gon loves me. Gon said it himself. He’s my boyfriend. My happiness.” He slammed his fist into Illumi’s side. Bitterly, he choked out, “Stay the fuck out of my way, asshole.”

 

Illumi gave a shrug, grabbing Killua’s fist. A little smile tugged on his lips. “I’ve seen you Kil. You really are the best to lead the family. You’re a _real_ monster.” He pushed the other male backwards.

 

Killua hated being called that— _monster._ It seemed so horrific, so jaw dropping, so deviating, so…. _him._ It was what he was.

 

“So what?” Killua whispered unphased by the statement. “I am a monster. A monster who can love, who can feel….” He put his hand up to clutch his chest. The heart beating in there meant nothing, his _real_ heart was within Gon. The ends of his lips twitched, “Gon is living proof of that. Gon taught me how to do these things.” The last person who said Gon didn’t love him….GOT KILLED.

 

Illumi remained stoic. The stern look on his face unchanging as he watched his little brother throw fit. There was almost a flash of pity in his eyes. Grimness laced his voice, “You must have noticed, how you and Gon sometimes have moments where you share the same chain of thought. Either you say the same things or similar events happen to you, where you can hear or see the same things. A few moments where your desires clash and you can see each other despite being on two different frequencies.”

 

The white haired boy staggered, “And? That’s just because…” He slumped over, a new wave of confusion dawning on him. ‘ _Why did that happen?_ ’

 

Illumi raised one finger up on each of his hands, then crossed them over. The fingers overlapped to create an intersection. He explained, “In that singular moment, it’s when both your hearts share a beat in sync together.” He gave a nod. “It allows you to connect.”

 

“What does that matter to you? Is it really that important that y-”

 

“What I’m saying is, if people touch you or attack you, during that time that’s when you’re most vulnerable.”

 

“Like I’m scared of some dumb humans!”

 

“I’m not talking about any plain boring human…”

 

The sudden switch in tone of Illumi’s voice gave Killua chills. His mind started to unravel what is older brother was getting at. The thought made the blue eyed boy take a little step back, his teeth slipped to bite down on his bottom lip. “You… you’re trying to threaten me! But if I get injured or hurt, it doesn’t matter! Gon can heal me. Long as Gon’s heart is still beating, I’ll still live!”

 

“Gon is with Hisoka right now.” Illumi murmured, tapping on his chin. “You really think that Hisoka won’t take advantage of Gon being so naive.” A sly grin crawled on his face, as he saw how Killua’s face descended into horror. The older boy was excellent at pulling strings to make his little brother into the perfect marionette.

 

“One step ahead of you, as always asshole.” Killua announced cheekily, “If anyone outside my happy family touches Gon, they will pay dearly with their life.”

 

“You’re a good villain, but you lack self control…”

 

“And?”

 

“That’s what makes everyone so scared of you.”

 

“What?!” A new sharp edge stole away Killua’s voice. He let go of his chest, and threw his hands outwards. A cocky look flooding his face, as his eyes flashed manically. “You, mommy and daddy taught me to be heartless like this! It your training that drilled in my brain how to-”

 

“See that’s the problem!” Illumi pointed out. “You can’t be our creation and Gon’s at the same time. You try to pull on both sources.” His black eyes seemed to darken and suck up all Killua’s self confidence into a black hole. “You live for the fact, Gon gave you confidence and accepted you for who you are. You live for a LIE!”

 

A lightning storm erupted around Killua. His blue eyes darkened like a storm cloud. “Now that’s too far.” He sneered, “That’s too damn far.”

 

There was unnamed tension he never addressed within himself. The struggle of how he didn’t understand Gon’s happiness, but he wanted it. He didn’t get why Gon wanted to be friends with him, but he wanted it. Killua wanted all Gon had to offer.

 

It made him heated, how Illumi seemed to mock him about it. He knew...and Gon was starting to know too. Gon was recognizing the faults in Killua’s facade.

 

“But it’s significant.” Illumi pressed on. “Now I don’t want to fight you, Killua.” It was rare he ever said the boy’s full name. There was a deathly ring to, ‘ _Killua,’_ in comparison to when he said, ‘ _Kil_ ’ smoothly like a command. “So this is your last warning, make the right choice and be who you were programmed to be.”

 

Illumi didn’t know shit. Stupid Illumi assuming he understood how Killua felt. He didn’t know what it was like to be saved. He was too broken.

 

Killua was saved—Gon was his redemption.

 

Kalluto shook his head. “Nobody has to fight. We… we can restart!” He suggested shakily, “How hard is it to just pretend like nothing ever happened?”

 

“Pretend?” Killua snapped, “How the hell am I supposed to pretend…” He lowered his voice, shooting daggers at the child. “I guess it’s easy for you, Kalluto. You didn’t know Gon like how I _know him._ ”

 

“But I love and appreciate him all the same!” Kalluto pointed out.

 

Alluka tried to defend him, “Killua’s love and Kalluto’s love is different but-“ She looked down. “We tried our best. Killua, you just need to know when to stop. There is always a time to stop.” Her mind clouded with the truth about all their past actions. “You went too far and you scared Gon away.”

 

Killua snarled, “You’re wrong!” Voices of guilt eoched his head. “All of you have no clue what you’re talking about.” His fist met Illumi’s face. “So everyone stay out of my way!”

 


	23. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE CAME IN THIS WORLD AND WE LOOKING FOR MURDER.

Sweat beaded down the side of Gon’s face, as he finally reached his front door. He shakily placed his damp hand on the front window, dragging it across the glass in a slow motion.

 

For a while nothing happened.

 

The sun was setting and darkness lightly painted the sky. Gon stood, staring at the wooden door. His heart pounded in his chest, as he rocked back n forth a tad bit faster.

 

Tracing his fingers over the familiar knob, he could feel a huge hunk of his pride ready to drown.

  
  
A thought encouraged, ‘ _It's the right thing to do._ ’

 

Gon knew this was the right thing to do. _He did not need to be told that_. It was just hard. Doing the right thing was always hard.

 

He timidly knocked on the oak door, then dropped his hand to hold onto his backpack strap. He squeezed the leather, as his legs pleaded with him to turn back and do this some other time.

  
  
Without warning Mito cracked the front door open, "What the heck, is this? You know I don't like sneakiness!" She opened the door wider. "Where in the world have you been?"

 

Gon didn’t bother to answer her question. He walked inside the house. "Hey Kite! What are you doing here?" He gave a little wave, “Hey Ging!” He didn't really notice the guns resting on the coffee table. His mind was on one thing and one thing only.....making amends.

 

Suspect, Ging raised an eyebrow. Slowly cutting his eyes at him, from his spot on the sofa. He seemed to be observing the teenager with curiosity.

 

Mito barked, "Gon! What are you doing? Take those shoes off! You know better!" Her voice was raised an octave higher, since Gon had ignored her previously.

 

"Eh, Mito...take it easy on him." Kite mumbled, "He's been through a lot." He answered Gon’s question, “I’m here because we were gonna form a search party for you.”

 

“For me?” Gon repeated. His heart began to sink, “You guys didn’t need to search for me!”

 

“Gon! Shoes!” Mito ranted, snapping her fingers. “No... right now! Stop walking!”

 

Gon froze in the middle of the living room. "Yes?”

 

Mito was tern faced, with frustration and love burning in her eyes at the sight of her nephew. "Why did you disappear from Kite’s house in the middle of the night!? Was it Killua!? What did we talk about before, Gon?"

  
  
Upon hearing _‘Killua’_ in a sentence Kite raised an eyebrow. He seemed slightly perplexed, “Ya’ll know who Killua is?” It was particularly strange for Mito to mention a supernatural creature. Unless she…

 

“Killua is Gon’s boyfriend.” Ging paused, turning to Kite. “How do _you_ know Killua?”

 

Kite rose to his feet in panic. His mind trying to deny such an absurd truth.

 

Mito hounded Gon, "Do you CARE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?" There was care and concern in her voice to contrast her sorrowful mood.

 

The black haired boy fumbled with his fingers, removing the upper part of his teeth from biting his lip. He scrambled to come clean with an explanation, "I had...something I had to do. It was an accident really."

  
  
"How did you accidentally sneak out A HOUSE!?" Mito was practically screaming, “You went to take that SAT test, didn’t you? You took the test!"

 

"Um...Yeah?" Gon shrugged, a bit confused.

 

He glanced up at Kite, who shook his head signaling that this was something Gon had to take care of on his own. But Kite also looked very feverish, like he wanted to go near Gon but couldn’t bring himself to. Kite looked like he wanted to _say_ something.

 

Gon's mind drew blank, with where to begin the whole story. If he just blurted everything out, would they think he was crazy? Would they put him in a mental hospital? Should he build up pathos talking about Alluka and Kalluto first? Should he snitch about the murders?

 

Mito wasn't buying the clueless _‘help me now_ ’ card. She shook her head in a way that made Gon's heart sink. Her eyes looked sad, completely worn down and tired, her pissy actions were more than likely results of a sleepless night. Gon had done this to her; he felt bad. This situation was bad enough already and pressing Mito's buttons would only make things worst.

 

"I...I just," Tears swelled up in Mito's eyes. She shouted, "Don't you know, how much I love you? Then you run away from me! I work 2 jobs around here, I slave away all for you! I do it, because I care about you! Do you know how much...I...I..."

 

Gon felt a hand placed on his shoulder. He looked to see Kite sympathizing with him. As if he could sense the fear lingering in him with the moment. His actions were pure, like his heart was. So many emotions they shared in a single second—before a zap of lightning shot through him.

 

At first it was current above 10 milliamps, making the muscular contractions so strong that Kite’s gesture turned into a trap, where he couldn’t let go of Gon, who was _shocking_ him. The shock was spontaneous boosting to the value 100 milliamps—Kite’s breathing became labored, until ceasing completely.

 

Smoke rose from Kite’s body, the man completely crisped.

 

Gon let out a horrified screech. Killua’s voice whispered in his ear, “I said, I don’t want anyone else touching you, Gon. I say what I fucking mean!” The boy’s caramel skin began to radiate a bright radioactive blue.

 

Mito screamed at the top of her lungs, “DEAD BODY!!”

 

Ging grabbed the gun off the table. “You!” He growled, “HOW COULD YOU BRING THAT UNHOLY FREAK INTO THIS HOUSE!?”

 

At the sight of the barrel of the gun aimed at his heart, Gon almost forgot how to breath. His brown eyes went wide as tears pricked the corners. His mind spun in disbelief...Was is Ging about to _slaughter_ him? He lost his voice, fear preventing his vocal cords from operating correctly. He barely squeaked out, “P-Please.. pleeeee..please! I didn’t mean…!”

 

“You said you weren’t sexually active!” Ging howled, there was this unnameable emotion on his face. “YOU LIED TO ME!” He waved the weapon, it teetering in his grasp. “You went behind my back and fucked a freak!”

 

“Ging! I didn’t mean to kill, Kite! I didn’t mean to!”

 

“SHUT UP!”

 

“Gi-“ Gon choked on his own sobs, “Daddy!” His knees buckled, the word ‘ _dad_ ’ sounding so foreign on his tongue.

 

“Don’t call me that!” Ging snarled out, his finger twitching on the trigger. The gravity about what he was about to do sinking in.

 

Gon cried harder, “Don’t kill me, daddy!” Everything around him seemed to be melting down into chaos, madness gnawing at his nerves as a delirious cry slipped from his lips.

 

A shot was fired in the air. “I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT!”

 

“Ging!” Mito's scolded. She knocked the barrel of the gun away from Gon. Her swift actions allowing the bullets to go flying and break a window. There was terror written all over her face,  “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU ALMOST KILLED YOUR SON!”

 

“HE’S NO SON OF MINE!” Ging hollered over her. He began to wrestle with her to get his gun back.

 

The weapon changing hands as bullets went flying:

 

_BANG!_

 

“That thing is not my son!”

 

_BANG!_

 

“My son wouldn’t lie to me!”

 

_BANG!_

 

“My son loved and admired heroes!”

 

_BANG!_

 

“My son…”

 

_BA-_

 

The gun skidded across the floor, bumping into Kite’s dead body. The mindless weapon proving just how much it could really tear a family apart—almost daring someone to pick it up so that there can be another.

 

“How much did you even really know me!?” Gon hunched over, shaking as his tears soaked into the carpet. He dared, “You didn’t know shit. Because if you really knew about me, you would know tha-“

 

The dam of carelessness and neglect broke, revealing the truth after so many years. Somber tears poured down Ging’s face, “MY WIFE DIDN'T DIE FOR THIS!” He looked at Gon scornfully, hating how he saw the younger version of himself in hazel eyes. Bitterly, he yelled till he was red in the face. “SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE FOR YOU!” There was torment laced in his voice that was finally being unleashed. “SHE NEVER GAVE BIRTH TO A FREAK! SHE GAVE BIRTH TO A PERFECTLY HUMAN BOY!”

 

Mito gasped, anger passing over her face. “Leave him alone!” She opened her arms out in front of Gon. She cried knowing her actions would result in death. “YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

 

Gon didn’t know what to say. He sank to his knees. He felt so weak. So pathetic. His own dad wanted to wipe him off the face of the planet. Knitting his eyebrows together, he shook his head ready to start pleading. He never wanted things to be this way. Everything he did was purely an accident. Maybe he deserved to die for being greedy. _He was a fool._

 

Mito’s face expression was drenched in disparity as she watched Ging pick up the gun again.

 

Ging clutched the firearm even tighter this time. A bit of snot dripped from his nose, “Move, sister!” He pulled his finger slightly back on the trigger. “You’re still brainwashed from when they hypnotized you, years ago.”

 

“No!” She fired back. “You’re the one who is brainwashed! You’ve fallen as a slave to conspiracy theories!”

 

Ging wheezed, “MOVE!” His voice less aggressive this time. It was more sorrowful, as his heart grew heavy with grief. “MOVE NOW!” He commanded so loudly, the neighbors surely heard.

 

Mito had a full meltdown. It was like she was a 5 year old child again, as she stomped and screamed. The dead body making her hysterical as a reaper lurked in the room. The atmosphere drove her mind to its own undoing, “Is your hatred that deep for supernatural creatures that you’d kill your own son?”

 

“He’s not my-“

 

“LOOK AT HIM! GING! HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU!”

 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

 

“LOOK AT WHAT YOU CREATED!”

 

Gon took a small crawl towards Ging. He whispered lowly, "I know, I cut my hair. I'm sorry. I was mad and upset..." He felt hot tears against his radioactive skin. "I still am. I'm no hero." His cheerless coffee brown eyes were leaking with misery. “I’m nothing like my mom. I'm sorry... I can’t ever be-“

 

Ging backed away from him in revolt. He raised the gun up higher, “You’re all fucking crazy.” He cussed, “Goddamnit! The supernatural freaks...a-all of _them_ They’re gonna kill us! We’re all gonna fucking d-” He brought the gun to his own head. His eyes widened, as his voice grew raspy, "Sorry is not enough, to make me forget."

 

Mito sniffled, shaking her head. “Ging, please. No one else needs to...” She swallowed unable to carry on as she looked at Kite’s dead body. Her words became incoherent as her vocabulary reverted to jibberish.

 

“I have to.” Ging corrected automatically. He pressed the gun harder into his skull. “Because no matter what I say… I still love, Gon.” More tears fell from his face, as he looked at his son. “I love him so much, that I can’t stand to see him like this.” His finger moved without hesitation this time.

 

_B_

_A_

_N_

_G_

 

It was the longest second of Gon’s life. He reached his hands up as he screamed and screamed, clawing at his face at the horrid sight of Ging’s body in a pool of blood.

 

All the thoughts in Gon’s head seemed geared to disrupt the fiery pain. He caught sight of, “Killua! Please! Just let me go! Killuaaaah!”

  
  
It was relaxing to hear the sound of Gon calling his name off those sweet lips of his. It reminded Killua why he was here, why he was doing this.

  
  
Killua let out a slight sob, that was almost more like a broken laugh. "Hehee...Look at this beautiful destruction! I can feel myself thriving." He covered up his ears as if it would lower the terrifying screams. The move was done desperately to block out enough sound to comprehend hearing himself speak, "Gon is healing me."

  
  
Gon found himself walking closer to the dead bodies in a zombie like trance. Insanity finally eating up the slither of sanity in his mind.

 

Madness was not the word to describe the sight of when Gon saw Killua. Killua was driving himself to the brim of his own limits, trying to make sense of something he knew he couldn't.

 

"Make it stop...Love, don’t scream so loud....I won't do wrong ever again." Killua's eyes trembled in their sockets as he shook uncontrollably. "I won't! I love you. I love you more than anything!" He reached out for his ray of sun that still shone on him mercifully.

  
  
Gon flinched.

 

"What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU?" Illumi stormed in as he yanked Killua up off the floor by his shirt. He gave the smaller boy a harsh slap. "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? THERE IS NO ONE HERE!" He paused, “Wait.. you’re doing the double see thing. Hehe, are you that desperate?”

 

The black haired boy watched on slightly confused. Who...who was this guy? Why he not able to see him before? Was it because he was still too sane then?

  
  
"Gon...." Killua muttered softly.

 

"Stop it.”  Illumi commanded.

 

"GON!" Killua crackled out a slight maniacal laugh. He threw his head back as if giving in to all the voices filling him with guilt in his head. "Gon! Gon! Gon!"

  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?" Illumi slapped Killua again this time more firmly. He commanded, "GET A GRIP! Causing chaos is your job! Stop dreaming of what's impossible!"

 

Abruptly Killua's deranged laughter came to stop as his lips relaxed to a firm frown. "Who's dreaming? You just can’t see him. I can see Gon, because I understand him best!" A burst of cruel laughter fell from his lips. “You’ll die just li-“

 

Illumi snorted out. "You!" He threw the teen against the wall almost with disgust. "I bet you're doing all this in the name of teenage love, huh? You think Gon, loves and cares about you? You think he can really love some mental freak of nature like you? You're bonkers! Gon just likes you for your super powers."

  
  
Killua gasped for air. He coughed up blood over his shirt. "N-no..you're wrong. Gon..he l-oooves meeeeeeeee." His body started to convulse a bit as his sight drifted back up at the bit of sunlight. "He loves me so much...He can't bare to part with me. Our souls are connected." A slight smile slipped on his face. "Till death do us part. We made a promise long ago!”

  
  
"Promise my ass! You've become scum of this earth." Illumi slammed his elbow right in Killua's face wiping the smile off it. "You've become delusional." A cruel dark look came over him. He pressured, "So it will take more torture to reprogram that shocked out of whack brain of yours back on track."

 

"Heheheee!" Killua let loose a storm of lightning bolts through his body. He delivered Illumi a painful shock to his system. "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR RULES! FUCK YOUR TERMS! FUCK FUCK FUCKY FUCK! I'M DONE WITH THEM!" He screamed it loudly sending voltage all through the house frying any important circuits.

  
  
Illumi grit his teeth, trying to grab his annoying little brother, but Killua slipped through his grasp easily with Godspeed. "You crazed brat!" He howled up at the ceiling, "To think, you betray the Zoldyck family. You trade it for love? For something so fake! You can be replaced you know! Just with the flick of Gon's wrist, you can mean nothing to him! Only an insane psychopath would do such a thing! You had the world at your fingers, Killua!"

  
  
"It still is!" Killua shouted over all the ruckus. "It's my lover's too now! We. Ours. Us." Killua let loose such a slur of collective pronouns it eased his mind and set his spirit free. "All of it! We don't need anyone else! All we need is each other! If giving up that terrible way of life you bastards taught me is insane. Then that is what I am! I, Killua Zoldyck am completely....INSANE! INSANE! Insane I AM! Ha!" His booming laughter exposing his insanity to the world, it seemed to intoxicate everything in it's range. He staggered forward into the light. "For now there is a place in my mind, where hatred, jealousy, and greed cannot come. And when I pull myself into that place, when I'm around my special little burst of love, Gon. I am truly happy. Because we have created our own home, with our own rules. Your home is mean, and heartless, where death taps on everyone's door and waiting for some unfortunate fool to answer. But our home! Haha, our home is the door to the future. An answer to the lacking feeling, of people who are different or left out. Let them come to us! Let us love them, and shower them in all the love and affection that they deserve! Because a family lives in a home and THAT IS WHAT FAMILY IS SUPPOSED TO DO!"

 

There was more yelling from Illumi's mouth, but Killua didn't hear. 

 

Killua's blue eyes flashed at Gon. The blood platter on his face making the grin on his lips appear sinister. “Right, Gon? This is our power.” The lightning storm around his body picked up. “Power used to love and protect our lovely family.” His darkness was all in the light now. He could feel his troubles turn to dust like they were really nothing in the first place.

 

Gon wasn’t as pleased. If anything he was more freaked out. The sight of brains splattered on the carpet, Killua bouncing around like a crazy...it was just too much. Gon clawed at his face longing to tear his own eyes out, as the darkness encased him.

 

Mito was still trapped in her own prison of sanity. "How can, I keep you safe? What can I do to help you? To fix this!" Her eyes looked him up and down: seeing the cuts and blood drip down to his busted lip. "Just look at you, you look like a hot mess!" She was caring for Gon like a worried mother who had their child basically beaten to a pulp.

 

Gon let her words calm him, his hands falling to his sides. His foggy mind tried to think of what else to say. There was so much that he wanted to tell her, but his mouth said NO. His lips locked up tightly when anything pertaining to his adventures came to say. If he said something about any of it, Mito would only get more concerned over it all.

 

What should he do?

 

“I’m taking you to a doctor!” Mito concluded. She paced around the house, scratching at her skin as if to wipe the torment away. “Did he take advantage of you, Gon? Did he make you like this against your will?” Her wretched tone shook the boy to his core. She searched for the car keys. “There has to be someone who can fix you! THERE ARE LOTS OF DOCTORS! One of them can do it.” She pounded her head on the wall anxiously. “One of them _have_ to do it.”

 

Gon felt more tears hit his eyes, as he sadly looked at his aunt. He wanted to point to Killua and scream, “ _HE IS HERE! MAKE HIM STOP!_ ” But the words didn’t hit his lips. All he mustered up was, “We can look in Ging’s notebook. From his journeys when he traveled the world...he has to know more hunters!”

 

At the word _‘hunter’_ from Gon’s mouth, Killua gave him a deadly look. His face scrunched up hatefully, “What are you talking about, Gon? You know...I’ll never let you go.”


	24. Of comic books and supervillains

Gon didn't feel like he deserved to have trouble happen to him, when he simply made one mistake. Which was why telling the truth mattered so much, that would set him free.

 

 _HIM_.

 

A singular term...

 

He glanced out the car window as he hunched over in the front passenger seat. There was still nothing but trees for miles and miles. His eyesight was acting funny, it would get blurry then the world would distort sometimes. It happened randomly, his vision would fade to black for a minute before properly restoring the world to its normal form. His skin was still highly radioactive active, which made him wonder if Killua had _really_ went back home or if he was still stalking him.

 

“Gon, what does the phone say?” His aunt mumbled shakily, her eyes shifting to check for other signs of life along the road.

 

The black haired boy blinked his eyes, rapidly trying to will his vision back. He reached his fingers out, fumbling as he tapped the code on the screen. Soon as his vision came back he read aloud, “It says 3 hours till you reach your destination.” He said it dully.

 

His eyes drifting to the scribble written in Ging’s log books. There was a bunch of other addresses scribbled out, ones that they visited but upon arrival the hunters flipped out. It appeared no Hunter wanted to try their hand at whatever condition Gon had. Nobody really wanted to be around him either…each time they stopped at a rest area people would try to avoid the glowing radiant sight of him or people would pity him with sad eyes. When they looked at him sadly, Gon would fake a thankful smile.

 

Gon wondered if he could ever smile for real again.

 

“Damn! Why is this place so far?” Mito cursed under her breath. It was rare that the woman ever cussed but over the past 24 hours it was like she became a different person.

 

Gon flipped through the wrinkled pages of the notebook, “I think...there might be one closer.” His vision faded in and out again. Light succumbing to darkness only to struggle and remain dominant once more. “Dr Paladiknight. A doctor in training.”

 

“He is a Hunter!? Who is also a doctor?”

 

“I think so. Ging always wrote in ugly chicken scratch. How can I read-?”

 

“Don’t disrespect your dead father!”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Where is he located?”

 

“I’m not sure if the police busted in on our house and took the bo-“

 

“I MEAN THE DOCTOR!”

 

“Oh! Actually...it says off this road there!”

 

The car drastically began to slow down, as the turning signal went on. Headlights flashed on an old sign barely hanging from it’s post as the car turned down the gravel road.

 

Mito mumbled, “I just got these tires fixed… it feels like we're gonna get a flat again.” Her eyes darted around, “In the damn middle of fucking nowhere!”

 

Gon looked at his phone about to put the new address in, only to discover the bars on the side had been replaced with: _no service._

 

 _‘Fuck!_ ’ He thought. He wasn’t quite ready to get bold and curse in front of his aunt. Despite her newly acquired mood, Mito wouldn’t hesitate to clean his mouth out with soap.

 

They rode down the dirt and gravel road for about 5 more minutes before coming to a house. The house was bright and happy in comparison to the gloomy forest of darkness surrounding it.

 

Mito parked the car. She pulled out her keys, “You ready, Gon?” There was this relentless desperate hope in her eyes. A hope that wouldn’t fade away no matter how much rejection they faced.

 

Rejecting wasn’t scary. Giving up was scary.

 

Each time Gon looked into his Aunt’s eyes, he understood that she wouldn’t allow him to suffer. His aunt would travel the world and give up everything she owned if it meant fixing him. (Her missing work for him was more than enough proof of that.)

 

Gon opened the car door. He stepped out in silence, not willing to ruin her determination with his grief-stricken words.

 

The woman followed after him. Gon climbed up the little steps, to knock on the front door.

 

The door opened immediately to reveal a surprisingly familiar face. Gon wiped his brown eyes, “Kurapika?” He wondered if hallucinations was a side effect of temporary blindness. 

 

The blonde blinked his eyes rapidly, until recognition dawned on his face. “Gon?”

 

His aunt looked between the two boys. “You two know each other?”

 

“Umm…” Gon didn’t know why, but seeing someone in public who you only see in school was awkward, especially with an adult around. He rubbed the back of his head trying to avoid making direct eye contact. “We go to the same school.”

 

“And you live all the way out here?!” Mito gasped, slightly perplexed.

 

“No! Oh....no Miss!” Kurapika frantically shook his head. He laughed lightly, “Haha, I’m out here visiting my boyfriend.” A friendly smile came on his face, “He’s a lazy ass so I come up here on weekends to help him clean.”

 

Gon knew that was a lie for some reason. Maybe not the boyfriend part, but the reason why Kurapika was up here.

 

“Is your boyfriend…” Mito’s voice drifted off, as she snapped her fingers trying to remember. “Oh! Gon! What was that doctor’s name?”

 

“Dr Paladiknight.” Gon jeered.

 

“Yes! Is that your boyfriend’s name?” Mito urged, happy that they might have a chance.

 

Kurapika leaned back in the house, “LEORIO TURN OFF THE OVEN FOR ME! GET OUT YOUR BRIEFCASE! YOU HAVE PATIENTS!” There came a grouchy reply from deep inside the house. He stepped to the side slightly, turning back to face them. He gave a cheerful expression, “He’s coming. He usually doesn’t have anyone come around.”

 

Mito criticized under her breath, “I can see why…”

 

Gon flashed a nervous smile at the 18 year old. Kurapika returned a more calming look—but it was just too overly nice. It was like when you had to be sweet to someone you barely know, because their parents know your parents, and you’re fucked if you don’t.

 

The silence between them was finally wrecked by the sound of clattering. Kurapika was about to turn back inside before a very tall man stumbled into the doorway.

 

The black haired man straightened his tie, “I am Dr Leorio Paladiknight, at your service. What seems to be the prob-“ He bit his own tongue as his eyes fell on Gon. For a few seconds, he just stared at the radiating boy, cross-examining him up and down. He clenched his jaw at the sight.

 

The muscles in his face tightened worriedly. “Yeah..” Gon swallowed numbly. This was the point where most Hunters flipped out and went the other way.

 

Leorio’s little pupils grew wide in alarm. He kicked the door open wider. “Get in!” He barked loudly, “NOW!”

 

Gon whimpered slightly, “Wait you’re not gonna try to kill me are you?”

 

“I’m a doctor not a murder!” Leorio spat, ushering them in.

 

Kurapika closed the door behind them. Gon followed quickly behind Leorio, observing his surroundings in the little house. When he first entered he noticed a single shelf of medicine knocked over, while a bunch of other shelves stood up proudly. There was a little archway leading to another area of the house, where there were stairs one set leading up and another leading down to the basement. Leorio passed right over the stairs, as he stayed on the same level and headed towards a door with the words, ' _Room 1.'_

 

Leorio pushed open the door, to reveal an examination space. He apologized to his boyfriend, “I won’t be able to eat dinner with you.”

 

Kurapika gave a shrug. “That’s fine. Help, Gon.” A look of concern came on his face. “Because I’m definitely sure humans shouldn’t be glowing like that.”

 

“Gon, eh?” Leorio screwed up an eyebrow. “You know this kid?”

 

“School.” Kurapika explained simply.

 

“No. I mean…” Leorio’s voice dropped down a few octaves. “Do you _know_ this kid?” He motioned back towards Gon, who sat anxiously on the examination table. “Know him well enough to give me a hint on who could have done this?”

 

“I can’t see things you do.” Kurapika confessed with a sigh, “But weird stuff does happen around Gon… especially when Killua shows up. They’re supposed to be dating.”

 

With that short bit of information, Leorio connected the dots. He grit his teeth, coming to terms with how severe this could be. “Thanks." He leaned down to press a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheeks, a bit of stubble brushing against his skin. He avowed, "You can wait downstairs for me.”

 

Kurapika gave a little nod and wave. “Hope you get better, Gon!” He turned away.

 

Leorio closed the room door. He theorized, “So based off what I’m seeing here, you were either forced or physically implanted.”

 

“What?” Gon squeaked out. His face bunching up as the doctor got closer to him. The black briefcase looked extremely dangerous he felt slightly uncomfortable with how hard Leorio clung to it. He still wasn’t over the betrayal of his own family—so anything that looked like it could hold a gun made him feel sick.

 

“I’m asking you.” Leorio clarified. He pointed at the boy, “Which was it?”

 

Gon sputtered out, “I don’t know!” A bit of panic ran through him as he recalled a dark memory. “It happened all of a sudden...when...when...a voice whispered in my ear!”

 

“Ooo… “ Leorio reached in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and began typing notes, while speaking them aloud. “Some creature made an obsession phase out of you.”

 

“Y-yes!” Gon disclosed, “That is what happened to me!”

 

Leorio stuffed his phone back in his pocket. “That’s what I thought.” He placed his briefcase on the side table.

 

Each click of the locks made Gon’s heart jump. He tried to stay calm as Leorio swiftly lifted one side of the case open.

 

Gon whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. He was so sure that this was the part where he died, that when he felt a coldness on his chest—he _assumed_ it a knife stabbing his chest. Only the pain never came.

 

He cracked one eye open to discover there was no blood dripping to the ground. The coldness came from a stethoscope pressed under his shirt. The small object resting on his heart, allowed Leorio to listen to it.

 

The doctor fretted, “You’ve also completed a transaction with him.” He could hear the unusual double beat of Gon’s heart. The organ pumping blood that bonded the human with his supernatural counterpart—allowing the good to co-exist with evil.

 

“Hmm?” Gon’s hazel eyes marveled at the tool, “What does that mean?”

 

“Well you have Killua’s heart Gon.” Leorio stated bluntly. He gave him a solemn look of sympathy, as he pulled out the stethoscope from his ears. “You can hear it if you want. But all it means is that you’re the reason why Killua can exist and he’ll live on as long as you do.”

 

Frantically, Gon shook his head. “No! How can this be? I never meant for…” He gulped down his words unable to properly string them together in a sentence.

 

“It probably happened when you were younger.” Leorio tried his best to comfort him. “It was a phase…And they never grew out of it.”

 

The corners of Gon’s eyes crinkled, “A-re you sure that you can press that thing so close to me?”

 

“Long as I don’t physically touch you. I can press everything against you that I need.” Leorio reassured, “But you’re gonna have to umm…” He looked at his aunt nervously, “Excuse my mouth.” He focused on Gon again. “Open your legs.”

 

The 16 year old blanched, “You want me to what?”

 

“I have to see, if you were cursed or if it was physical.”

 

“See what!?”

 

“How the creature sourced your body to trigger their power.”

 

“Are you accusing me of having sex?!”

 

“Well you did..DIDN'T YOU? Normal people don’t glow unless affected by radioactive elements. If you were hit or swallowed something radioactive, you won’t come to a Hunter like me.”

 

“Aunt Mito!” Gon cocked his head left and rolled his eyes to right corner of the ceiling. “Tell him, that taking my pants off is co-“

 

“I’ll leave the room if you need me to.” Mito vouched, inching over to the door. “I get this must be embarrassing for you, Gon. But if he took full advantage of you then… it would be good for a doctor who knows about this stuff to check you out.” Her mouth set in a hard line, “Down there.”

 

Gon ground his jaw, an uneasiness remaining in him as fear once more perked up about death. “Wait. Don’t leave me. Just...just face the wall and turn around.”

 

Mito seemed to understand the nervousness in Gon’s request. The poor boy was only 16 of course, and after everything he went through having his aunt there was imperative to him. She turned to face the wall and closed her eyes. “Alright.”

 

Leorio waved Gon onward, giving him permission to strip his bottom half.

 

Bashfully, Gon peeled his skinny jeans and boxers off his flesh. It revealed stretch marks and scratches all over his caramel skin. Most of the scratches on Gon’s plump ass, mirroring the stress from his abused hole.

 

Gon buried his face in his hands shamefully, “We only did it twice. But both times…I...I liked it.” He felt his heart flutter as memories invaded his head. “It was thrilling…” His hazel eyes gleamed with luster.

 

A mournful cry passed from his Aunt’s lips. He’d forgotten that she could still hear him. He wondered how she felt...what she thought about her nephew being a masochist.

 

Leorio seemed to pick up on how violent Gon had been treated. (It was the innocent looking ones that were always the most crazy in bed.) He tutted, “So you let him?”

 

Gon’s expression dulled, “I didn’t think much of it at the time. Until the second time he…” He inhaled sharply, pushing down his embarrassment. He peeked his head up from his hands. “It was because he wanted me to stay.”

 

Giving a test, Leorio bent down and blew near Gon’s hole. The pink hole twitched vigorously, as a soft moan passed Gon’s lips. “Killua!” Gon’s legs opened wider, as his hips rolled and undulated.

 

“Damn…” Leorio spoke huskily. He quickly began typing more notes on his phone. “Your response is highly sensitive. I figure mental and physical domination took place, while he made you his little bitch.”

 

Automatically, Gon jerked up, “I’m not his bitch!” He shrieked.

 

“You just sexually rolled your hips and moaned, ‘ _Killua’_ and all I did was blow.” Leorio pointed out. “You’re his bitch. When he _‘released in’_ you he made that clear by implanting a power with the specific instruction of self defense when someone who probably wasn’t in his family touched you.”

 

Gon’s pupils shrink daringly, “He’s my boyfriend!” He decreed, “We’re equals!”

 

“Let me guess, he wants to take you home.”

 

“We’ve already done tha— Wait that is not a good thing is it?”

 

Leorio rose back to full height, standing with a tall erect posture. “Nope.” He pushed his tiny glasses up on his nose. “That could be why he did it. These creatures feed nothing but greed. They like to take, and only live to protect their family.” He raised a curious brow at Gon’s marked up body. “Obviously, you’re into _that._ So naturally Killua’s obsession for you grew. It’s the supernatural way to rep chaos, even if it’s done subconsciously.”

 

Gon's hand rubbed his flat stomach, “I should have known something was up when he kept saying he'd fill me up!” He blurted in despair and alarm. He’d foolishly taken such words as a joke back then. “I mean who says that?”

 

“Commonly it’s a term used by creatures to assert their domain ove-“

 

“What regular human would know that!?”

 

“You should have just used protection…” Leorio quipped as if it was the most common knowledge ever. “He physically asserted some of himself inside you.” He reached for his glasses, pushing them on his face again. “Not to worry, I have some pills.”

 

Gon hastily, pulled up his pants and boxers. The 16 year old repeating a drug free speech he heard in school. “Drugs are only a temporary solution to…”

 

“No. It’s gonna get you rid of his supernatural juices!” Leorio rolled his eyes skywards, “Like are you even taking anything I say seriously?” There was scorn in his voice because his eyes conveyed how actually concerned he was for him.

 

“Y-yes!” Gon retorted. He blushed lightly, “T-thank you for everything. How much does this all cost?”

 

“Cost?” Mito repeated.

 

“Aunt Mito, you can turn around now.” Gon approved.

 

The woman turned, her expression filled with urgency and sadness. “Dr Paladiknight! We don’t have much, but I’m willing to sell everything to heal my nephew!” She reached into her purse pulling out some money.

 

Leorio gave a dry laugh. “As much as I love money. I don’t charge anything for my services.” He shook the woman's hand. “It’s all free. Especially since you to drove all the way here from the small town of Whale Island!”

 

Mito stated up at Leorio as if he was an angel sent from God. She felt tears sting her eyes as they glazed with thankfulness. “You’re so kind! If you ever come around our country side, I’ll pay you back with a nice warm meal and a place to stay for as long as you need!”

 

“Awe, you’re too kind miss.” Leorio gave a friendly shrug. He reached back into his briefcase. This time Gon didn’t flinch. The doctor pulled out a packet of pills. “Gon.” He said firmly, taking a single pill out. “One every 14 hours. It works more like a laxative to drain your system. In a few days you’ll be back to normal.”

 

Gon took the pill, popping it in his mouth.

 

Leorio continued to instruct, “Chew it.”

 

Gon chewed the pill. The flavor was weird, didn’t taste even close to the delicious taste of Killua’s lips. A funny feeling made his stomach churn.

 

“There is only one side effect.” Leorio sighed exasperatedly. “Since you carry Killua’s heart, your mind, heart, and body is attracted to him. So when your body loses that you’ll kinda be facing withdrawal symptoms.”

 

Mito hugged around her nephew protectively, ”He’s gonna what!?”

 

“But it shouldn’t be a problem!” Leorio attempted to calm her. He opened up the door to allow them to freely explore his house. “Anyway you’re free to stay as long as you need. Gon might want a quick nap before you hit the road, it’s a long drive back.”

 

The 16 year old shrugged, “I’ll be fine. I’m just happy, we managed to find someone after searching for so long. Guess Ging’s crazy supernatural obsession paid off!” He praised.

 

“Yeah,” Mito mumbled her breath in agreement. “He did.” She gave a heartfelt smile at Gon, then looked at Leorio, “Wouldn't want to be more of a bother. We’re leaving to stay at the first hotel we find.” She let go of Gon, "I'll go start the car."

 

Gon let out a little hum as the woman walked out the room.

 

Leorio reached in his briefcase, “Hey Gon, next time Killua appears…” He pulled out a tracking device and tossed it. “Go home with him.”

 

“Hmm!” Gon raised an eyebrow, “Sh-shouldn’t I be avoiding him!?”

 

“You’re pretending to, but…” Leorio’s eyes grew sorrowful, reading Gon’s body moments and expression. “You still love Killua. You won’t it admit it to yourself, but you’d still go with him anyway.”

 

“So what!?”

 

“Does he have others, under his control?”

 

The 16 year old took a sharp breath remembering Alluka and Kalluto. “I made a promise to save, Killua. I made him like this.” His brown eyes glittered in determination. “It started with Killua and I. So it will end with Killua and I.”

 

“If you take this, we can communicate and track him from my computer. I can call Hunters on him.” Leorio spoke so optimistic. “Ones that won’t try to kill him, so you don’t die.”

 

“Thanks but,” Gon rubbed the back of his neck, “There are kids.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Killua’s siblings! They need rescuing and I’m scared Hunters might try to kill them.”

 

“That’s true… you’ll have to protect them.”

 

“Protection is not a problem. I’m just… they’ve already been through so much. I swore, I’d find help not reap more chaos in their lives!”

 

Leorio gave a nod of understanding, “It's your choice to turn on the tracking device, Gon.” He closed up his briefcase with a few snaps. “It’s your life. But just remember when people love and put their trust in you, you’re living for them too.”


	25. Of comic books and supervillains

Gon tossed and turned in bed. The sounds of the tv preventing him from falling back asleep. “After the fight at Hunter's high school, cops are still perplexed over the death of two teachers. They are in search for any witnesses or anyone who can provide more information on the fight or supposedly electrical chain murder weapon.”

 

At the word, _‘electrical’_ his brain wired him awake. His eyes fluttering open as he wiped the crust from the cracks. He sat up like a zombie, his nose twitching to the smell of waffles. His mouth watered as he mumbled, “Food…? Yummy.. di-Kil..?”

 

“Oh, Gon.” Mito was sitting in her bed. She gave a little smile at her nephew, “You slept passed breakfast. But I went down to the buffet and got you some if you’re hungry.”

 

Gon blinked his eyes, catching sight of drool on the side of his mouth and pillow. “I’m still feeling tired.” He said, taking slow and easy breathes. His head hurt from fatigue as he gazed his lazy eyes around to observe the rest of the hotel room.

 

“You can back to sleep if you want. I was thinking about taking a drive and looking around. Maybe when you wake back up we can go sightseeing?” Mito suggested happily, raising a tourist guide in her hand.

 

That did not sound very appealing to Gon at all. He reached for his phone on the nightstand, scrolling through his news feed.

 

“Do you want to come along, Gon?” Mito suggested. “It might be good for you to get some fresh air. Or-“

 

“You’ll leave me won’t you?” Gon babbled out sadly. He turned his head to look at his Aunt, vaguely noticing his breakfast of sprinkle covered strawberry waffles, topped with whip cream and chocolate syrup. He spoke more softer, “If I don’t feel like going out, you’ll just leave.”

 

Mito’s face puckered into concern, “Do you want me to stay with you, Gon? I mean…” She paused, “Long as I know where you are, I don’t mind if you go off and explore yourself.”

 

Gon felt tears start to flood his vision. He didn’t even know why, he just felt sad all of a sudden. Meekly, he whispered, “I don’t want you to go.” His words were muffled by his pillow.

 

“Huh?”

 

“We should stay together.”

 

“You really need to speak up, Gon. You know I’m getting old, my hearing really isn’t what it used to be.”

 

“I SAID IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME JUST GO!” Gon blurted out. He decided he didn’t want to be selfish with his own fears and hold his Aunt back. Angrily, he motioned to the door, “JUST GET OUT!” He hated it as soon as he said it. He wanted to take it back. It was mean, cruel, and ugly. But he felt like everyone was gonna leave him for being such a crybaby anyway.

 

Mito’s eyes widened in shock. She rose to her feet, abruptly heading to the the door. “If you needed to be alone right now. You could have just said it.” She opened the door. “I’ll take a a short walk, then come back to check on you to see if you changed your mind.” With that the door slammed.

 

Gon’s mouth went agape as a single tear rolled down his face. Being alone was the last thing he wanted...if he was alone then it made him easier for Killua to target. His brain was scrambled and hazy; his mood grumpy and groggy from waking up.

 

“It’s not your fault, baby boy. You weren’t thinking straight.” Killua whispered.

 

“NO!” Gon screamed, grabbing the second pillow on the bed to cover his ears. “LEAVE ME ALONE! You’re the reason so many people are dead! YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY!”

 

Gon focused on waffles, to block out the other worldly messages. The smell so intoxicating it drifted his mind away from the torment. Skillfully, he reached over with his free hand and picked up a waffle. He took a bite, sending his taste buds taken on a magical mystery ride that they never wanted to get off.

 

An aggressive throbbing plagued his brain. The world started to twist and dance in random places. A sharp pissed off yell thundered, “GON! DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I’VE CHANGED!”

 

With a mouthful of waffles Gon sputtered out, "Don't talk to me! I wiiiiiiilll believe when I see it!!" His voice sounded muffled.

 

It perked a laugh from Killua at how sprinkles flew out Gon's mouth when he talked.

 

Killua’s physical form flickered before Gon. “I tried to show you! I gave you gifts, Gon! Yet here you are, not acce-“

 

For a few quick seconds, Gon thought he might throw up from all the sugary maple loving kindness. He had to force his food to stay down as he scoffed, "You can't be serious! These…” He drew air quotations with his fingers. “Gifts,” there was a sassy venom in his voice, “You give me, Killua. Are nothing but ways for you to control me!"

 

“That’s not true! I give them from my kindness and sweetness of my heart!” Killua huffed. “You’ve just had bad influence from your dumb dad and Kite! That’s why you hate everything!”

 

Lost in thought, Gon stared at the syrup reflection of himself in his plate, so many times in his life he'd been told that he had his father's punky curious orbs, that longed to seek answers from the unknown. Mito even once said, raising him was like watching her brother grow up again. However, his spirit wasn't naturally rebellious, but it was eager which led to him making stupid impulsive decisions that sometimes didn't turn out well. He wanted to figure things out on his own, without anyone telling him what to do.

 

“No, the reckless action Ging took was to weasel his way out this predicament.” Gon reaffirmed. He’d been raised and taught differently, growing up with a desire to do what's right. “I don’t want to do that…I am going out helping people.”

 

Killua hesitated then sat down. “I did my stuff correctly. Gosh…you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

 

"Don't tell me it's nothing!" Gon informed him sharply, his brown eyes cutting into blue.

 

Killua frowned. "Ya know, everything about the whole family thing?"

 

Gon softened his eyes feeling Killua get sentimental. He lowered his harsh tone, "Yeah. We're a family. I said nothing would change that."

 

"Good. I need a favor..." Killua began.

 

Gon raised an eyebrow, surprised that Killua was asking him for something. "You do?" The teen made it sound like he was willing to help out, but not before he knew for a fact what it would be.

  
  
Killua gracefully stood over in front of Gon, his blue eyes burning passionately as he scooped up his boyfriend's hand. "I need you, to do me a huge favor." He kissed caramel skin, gently tickling cute knuckles.

 

Gon felt his face go red, at the sparks dancing off his body as Killua's mouth pressed butterfly kisses all over his hand. He was barely able to stumble out, "Y-ees?! Y..yyes? W-what do you need?"

 

Killua knelt down, gazing up in Gon's eyes in a dreamy manner. He reached in his pocket he pulled out a true 10k white gold with a design similar to the Green Lantern ring. "GON! WILL YOU BE MY PARTNER IN CRIME AND HELP ME KILL HISOKA?" The words were spoken out his mouth in a determined loyal fashion.

 

Gon gasped a bit at the shy blush on Killua's face. A warm smile crossed his lips, "Oh Killua..."  Brown eyes seemed to sparkle as if in a trance by the green emerald gem in the middle. It made his heart skip a beat—the beauty was gorgeous.

 

Which meant there was NO WAY IN HELL KILLUA GOT THIS LEGALLY.

 

Gon slapped the crap out of Killua. He jumped out the bed, howling like an pissed coyote. "HELL FUCKING NO! What THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK MADE YOU THINK I WOULD FUCKING AGREE TO THAT?" He was firing off more curses under his breath.

 

Killua cringed, overwhelmed by the flip to Gon's aggressive nature. He felt like crawling in a ball and hiding like a sad kitten.

 

Gon held out his hand, "GIVE THE RING! GIVE ME THAT RING! HURRY! GIVE IT NOW!"

 

Killua wasted no time shoving it on his boyfriend's ring finger. A malicious grin flashed on his face, "You want it? You like it? It's yours! You didn't like my other gifts very much, so take this... it's better. It’s superhero related!" His cold blue eyes gleamed, watching Gon carefully observe the legit ring on his finger.

 

"Yes, I do..." Gon scowled feeling completely conflicted as he stared at the lovely gem on his finger. It looked like the real deal. He had never seen or wore such an object with legitimacy. The emerald shimmering in the artificial lighting, it was a amazing stone. He wanted to keep it. But he knew better! He was getting this from his boyfriend who had sticky fingers. "But...We have to return it."

 

"No." Killua chuckled lowly, his pale fingers going to lace up with caramel. The one the ring was resting on, he squeeze lightly. A flash of kindness appearing for a brief second as he stepped closer to Gon. His lips parted slightly as he laid a light smooch on his boyfriend's ear whispering, "I bought this."

 

Gon felt his chest tighten up, ready to burst with happiness and joy. A huge smile broke out on his face, "Really? Just for me?" The teen could barely contain his excitement.

 

"Damn, right!" Killua declared, pulling Gon closer to him. "It's a promise ring." He lightly nuzzled soft black locks.

 

Gon wrapped his arms around Killua's neck, "Promise for what?" His common sense warned him to be suspect by this new declaration coming from his boyfriend.

 

"Promise for us." Killua titled Gon's chin up to have pretty questioning hazel eyes meet his own. "You said where a family, right? Together."

 

"Killua, think before you talk..." Gon said, reading the expression on Killua's face. "Because, I know bribery when I see it."

  
  
A sly smirk came on Killua's lips, "You don't miss a beat do you, sunshine?" He towered over Gon, pressing their foreheads together.

 

Gon ran his fingers over Killua's, their hands still locked together. He enjoyed the weight of the bloody money on his finger. "Nope, I know my man. You came over here for a reason." The smile on his lips faltered, "Tell me what you want."

 

"Already did..." Killua hummed, "I need you to help me commit murder."

  
  
Gon ripped their hands apart. "No! No! No! I'm not helping you do that!" He rubbed his hand like Killua had infected it in some kind of dirty poison. "Didn't you get me? No more KILLING PEOPLE!"

 

"This is the last person!"

 

"You don't know that!"

 

"Yes, I do! It's for our family! After this we can live happily, but I need you to do that."

 

"Killua, believe me... I love you. I do! I really do! It's because I love you that, I won't do this for your sake!"

 

"That doesn't make any sense! What happened to making me happy?"

 

"That was BEFORE I KNEW KILLING PEOPLE MADE YOU HAPPY!"

 

"Well, guess you never really know someone until you killed a bunch of people for them! Then it's a huge mistake, even if you had pure intentions!"

 

Gon shyly placed his sights on the pretty Green Lantern ring on his finger. Maybe Killua did have pure intentions? What if the message of good got tangled up in his madness? What of their was really a method to it? It just was too huge of an idea for Gon to comprehend right now. It made his head hurt trying to understand. Gon wanted to trust Killua at his word. He wanted to ensure that Killua would stop hurting people. 

 

Sweetly, Killua cupped the Gon's cheeks in his hands. "Just do it for the one time."

 

"Killua," Gon sucked his teeth loudly, his head spinning as he breathed in sharply. "I can't. You betrayed me, Killua. If I go out, Aunt Mito might never trust me again. I don't wanna let her down!" He slowly slid the ring off of his finger.  "I want a future with you, Killua. Just not like this. You know I'll always be at your side, but in a metaphorical way?"

 

Despite the effort of affection it didn't ease the bruise of rejection. Killua blinked blankly, trying to gather his thoughts. "I don't understand..." He didn't take the ring but instead pushed it back onto Gon's ring finger. "That's yours. I got it just for you. I am NOT taking it back."

 

A stressed out wave came over Gon's face. "You have to! There comes a point in everyone's life where they have to do the correct thing!"

 

"Tch!" A stormy look came over Killua's face as he grabbed Gon's wrists. He forced him on the bed. Both their eyes glared at each other with hostility. He shouted, "YOU ARE THE CORRECT THING, GON! YOU'RE MY CORRECT THING! SO I CAME TO YOU!"

 

Gon bit his bottom lip. It appeared to him that Killua really lost his marbles. He knew this couldn't keep happening over and over again—too easily his boyfriend let his emotions take control to create violent actions. 

 

"How do you not get it?" Gon murmured, his gaze relaxing weakly. "If my Aunt Mito catches you acting crazy, Killua...There will be NO US! SHE IS READY TO TEAR US APART!"

 

Killua grit his teeth, "No! No! I WON'T LET HER!" His blue eyes blazed with hatred, dancing in the idea of murder. "I won't let anyone take me away from you." Gon squirmed under him in fear. He laughed darkly, "Can't you see? I'm a ch-chahaha! Changed man! I've changed! You made me realize how-Haha! How much we need more conversations with each other! Better communication."

 

"See.. it's this craziness that will make my Aunt Mito tell me to break up with you!" Gon snapped, "Do you want that?"

 

Killua raised an eyebrow in challenge, "Would you really DO THAT?"

  
  
Silence that swept over the both of them as Gon looked away guilty. Truth be told, he would. Not because he didn't love Killua, but because he cared about him. He wanted Killua to get better from whatever had forsaken him to behave in such a way.

 

Gon explained, "She's my aunt. She raised me, took care of me all my life. When you really love someone you don't wanna hurt them and I already hurt her pretty bad. I plan to make it up to her from now on."

 

It shouldn't have made Killua's heart ache as much as it did. It shouldn't have made his blue eyes start to quiver holding back angry pissed off tears. He didn't understand! For the very reason he knew, he could never understand. No one in his life every treated him with such care and affection that Gon had given him...with never ending chances and hope that he would one day change. Did each disappointment lower his trust? If Gon loved him, why was he doing this to him? Why was he acting this way! He wasn't listening to him! He wasn't being a good little boy and obeying him. He was pissing him off. Just kept pissing him off again and again.

 

Killua wanted to scream, _'You're just like everyone else! You fucking lied to me! If you love me, why does my damn heart hurt?_ ' But his voice was caught in his throat.

 

"I just hope you..." Gon swallowed nervously, looking at the crazed expression on Killua's face. "I hope you, see the truth in the light."

 

"Yeah, I see the light. RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME. It's you, sunshine!" Killua zapped lightning off the bed frame. “So therefore you proposed a trick question-HA!"

 

"Damn it, Killua!" Gon thrashed against the bed, "You know that's not what I meant!"

 

"No... I don't know..." Killua declared, licking his lips as he gazed over Gon's body. "Maybe you can tell me...Or show me?"

 

Gon knew that look in Killua's eyes. Killua craved to take something; Gon knew for sure that he didn't deserve it.

 

Gon scolded, "You just bash me now you want to get in my jeans?"

  
  
"I will ravish  _my_   baby boy." Killua mumbled shakily, trying to regain his claim. He traced his hand over Gon’s curves and humps claiming his territory once more.

 

Gon's stomach coiled as Killua grinned down at him deviously. Unstable nerves rattled him with butterflies in his belly. He rolled around in the sheets with his face beet red. 

 

"I know...I-I-I-I..." Gon babbled, tripping over his own words. Killua explored all over his body. He could feel Killua’s hot slimy tongue riding his neck, then teeth biting the collar of his shirt ready to rip it off. "I care about you, too! But...!"

 

Killua growled, "But what?"

 

Words were like Money. No value without feelings attached.

 

"I don't want you to treat me, like I'm your little bitch!" Gon blurted defiantly. He pulled off his shirt, "I mean this." His hand traced over the cuts and bruises, "I don't mind it. I  _let_   you do this. I used to like this, but now... NO!" He shook his head. "I don't like this."

 

"Baby boy...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

 

"I'm not your baby!"

 

"Gon..."

 

"I'm tired of it, Killua! I'm so pissed off. MAKING LOVE TAKES TWO, YA KNOW?"

 

"You were never my little bitch! I respected you, I kicked ass for you. I thought we were cool."

 

"AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO CHANGE AND GET BETTER FOR US! FOR ALLUKA, KALLUTO AND I! BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT TOO!"

 

Killua sighed, taking his hands off Gon. "I'm not going to force you do something." He rolled over beside Gon, eyes staring up at the ceiling. "You get a choice, it's your life. You’re the one who’s supposed to want stuff."

 

A few tears tugged at the corner of brown eyes. Gon loved the power of want that came with choosing...there was nothing like _choosing what get's to happen._ Everyone should have the power to choose what they want.

 

"I'm not going to take that away from you." Killua recalled the last time he tried to control Gon's life. "Now people, might. People love to dictate what happens to people, when it's none of their business." He shook his head, "I want to save you from that horrible aspect of the world."

 

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

 

“Trust me... it’s our first promise ring promise. Trust.”

 

"I can't do that so easily anymore. Now that I know you're a psychopath, I probably won't be able to do it again."

 

Killua sighed. He blamed his parents. They made him this way. They ruined his life!

 

Gon closed his eyes, "Since I can never view you the same again...I want..." He reached up to mess with the collar around his neck, "I want to only remember the good times. The times whe-"

 

"When you saved me?" Killua mumbled. He gnawed on his bottom lip, "You know something, Gon. If you were going to-"

 

"I di-!" Gon declared, "Can't we just...?" He twisted his fingers in Killua's hair. "Maybe chill. Okay? Let's just chill."

 

"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!" Killua fired out, "I loved you for as long as I can remember." He grabbed his heart, "All that love somehow became lust when stupid teenage hormones took control, but I never had a doubt in my mind that you..." His finger pointed at Gon accusingly, "You... _you..._ _YOU!_ " His eyebrows knotted up, blue eyes melted into brown. "You warned me but I couldn't let go."

 

Gon swallowed dryly, he recalled how Alluka claimed, " _I just don’t think, Killua knows _how_ to love and it hurts him and other people.”  _It was probably hurting Killua the most. Killua's lack of love killed his moral conscious. It made him dependent to search for what he lacked in other people.

 

"I've been trying to explore what love is and the different types." Gon's face flicked with unreadable emotions. "I finally came to the conclusion, that love is not something you can make somebody feel." He pulled Killua close to him, "Life isn't about who you love, it's about who's life you can change. Love is supposed to happen along the way and this quick thrill...a short moment of pleasure, maybe it's not healthy for that to last forever."

 

Killua sucked on his tongue, “Please, don't be mad." He shook his head, "You're just trying to make hasty conclusion because..." His voice grew deadly, "They just got what they deserved anyway. I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO TOUCH WHAT BELONGS TO ME!”

 

Gon blinked up at the ceiling the fan spinning slowly above them. The breeze felt so good against his hot and sweaty body. "Killua, I don't think you understand...you cannot kill people because of that."

 

Killua scowled, "Well come and _stay_ home with our family and nobody else has to die." He raised his finger to sending a zap of lightning to explode in a pretty firework display above their heads.

 

“Promise me that you won't kill any innocent people, Killua." Gon said lowly, "Please, don't...not with your power."

 

"OUR POWER." Killua quickly corrected. "Ours..." The words felt strange on his lips but he accepted it either way. Gon deserved credit too.

 

Gon huskily whispered, "Power is useless if you don't do anything positive! I get your bad situation. I sympathize with your shortcomings, but if you really loved me you'd listen. You'd trust me. You would..." His shoulders sagged as horrific memories plagued his brain. "Just promise, alright? No killing. I can't.. I don't want to see, that anymore."

 

"I..." The white haired male felt his words get caught in his throat. He numbly nodded, a shaky promise.

 

"I really get it." Gon comforted. Huge brown eyes staring softly at Killua almost lovingly. "It's like your programming. You only get violent, when you go against it."

 

Killua bitterly shook his head. He hated the word ' _programming_ ' it was like placing him in a category with an emotionless machine. Everything should have went better than this, less detrimental to his ego. Maybe it was him. He needed to stop.

 

But he’d already come too far away from sanity.

 

“Gon...I’m scared.” Killua whispered so softly his voice was almost unrecognizable. “I’m scared to live life without you. Even if you have to lie to me everyday. I’ll take that over and over again because taking is all I’m good at.”

 

"If I stay with you, my Aunt Mito…" Gon whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt a rotten feeling in his stomach. His hand made a fist as his frustration expressed itself. He muttered, "I want you to hold me."

 

Killua complied, wrapping his arms around Gon's hips. He snuggled him like hugging a teddy bear. "Like this?"

 

"Yeah...Yeah, just like this." Gon confirmed, his eyelids growing heavy. He yawned enjoying the warm embrace. His mind recalled back to the tracking device and the responsibility and promises he made to Alluka and Kalluto. He’d definitely come to their aid. “I decided, I’ll go back home with you. Stay till Aunt Mito comes back, so I can ask her for permission."

 

Killua felt his heart flutter at that knowledge. Maybe it was because of love. Love made people do stupid things. Killua assumed that falling in love was the true stupid thing. It made Killua's heart ache. It was probably the sound of Gon's voice, the smile on his lips, or his never ending faith in him. All Killua knew was that Gon was it.

 

He was IT.

 

There was nothing in Killua’s future without Gon.


	26. Of comic books and supervillains

If everyone in the world was being honest it would come down to the fact that there was not one single person who wasn’t fucked up. Some people were just more fucked up than others. That was why there was laws and rules to keep those really fucked up people in line. Yet then again laws were only a _‘suggestion’_ that if you broke had consequences.

 

However to maintain the sanity of society, people rebuked and punished who didn’t follow the rules.

 

The rules were made to keep order. Rules were made to dominate. Rules were made to keep sanity.

 

When rules were viewed as a roadblock they became a leverage to be dominated. When dominated it can face some resistance and rewire the world as we know it.

 

Change the rules...change the world...change the way people think. Both chains can happen in this order or reverse. There is no cap to how change happens, sometimes it just takes A REALLY LONG TIME.

 

“It only takes one person to change the mind of another or many.” Gon babbled. He smelled fresh after a shower and he noticed in the mirror his skin had stopped glowing.

 

He pushed open the bathroom door to see Killua on the bed watching tv. He turned his head in attention. “Took you long enough, love.”

 

Gon stepped over to sit down on the bed beside Killua. “You’re not one to talk.” He hummed, “I got a text from Aunt Mito. She should be coming back any minute now.”

 

“Oh.” Killua said dully. He was uninterested in what the woman wanted. She wasn’t in his plan. He didn’t feel like making room for her.

 

“You be nice.”

 

“Can she even see me?”

 

“I’ll introduce you. That should set terms because I’m sure she wants to see you.”

 

“Hmm…” Killua reached over to rub his hand up and down Gon’s thick thighs. His skillful hand stroking the smooth flesh, in a relaxing manner. “I don’t know if I can.”

 

Gon raised his hand to show off his ring. “Meeting the family is a requirement.” He bragged, his vision flickering.

 

He’d reached a conclusion as to why his sight was deteriorating. It had to be because it was impossible to exist on both frequencies at once. The human brain could not handle the unexplainable, so there was a war raging inside his head. A battle between sanity and insanity.

 

Gon was scared…he didn’t know which side would win and he didn’t know what would happen after there was a winner. His whole body hurt from head to toe; his stomach was killing him.

 

Killua cracked his neck to observe Gon‘s emotional state. A gruff look passed through his foggy eyes, a scowl of disappointment came as he turned away.

 

A bittersweet moment passed between them.

 

Killua honestly wanted Gon to lean over and kiss his lips right now. Then they might have some lovely fairy-tale ending where they confessed their love and feelings. But Killua knew better, that he didn't deserve none of the sort. He refused to predict a sappy end for his living horror story. Or at least he thought, before he saw a slightly warming smile pass over Gon's face.

 

Gon offered Killua a hand, "Can you be nice?" He flashed his brighter than all the stars in the sky smile again. It was so cute and innocent...

 

Killua hated it, because he loved it so much.

  
  
Killua loved how smooth it rolled on Gon's lips, how delectable it made them look. Killua knew that Gon was the best fucking thing he had going for him. He didn't know, why he yelled at him or said stuff he didn't mean. He was just so pissed off, he wasn't sure why but just seeing Gon completely mangled with scars, cuts, and blood still standing, still smiling, and still offering a hand to help Killua. Gon should leave him. But damn, Gon stubbornly stuck with him.

 

"Gon." Killua muttered, never realizing how much he enjoyed that name on his lips. Blinking his blue eyes, he gazed up at the walls surrounding them, leading straight up to ceiling. The sky was like Gon's happy spirit, no matter how hard Killua felt like he tired he couldn't any longer find it in himself to break it, even though he was coming to terms that he would never reach it. "Did you really mean it, everything about change and understanding?"

 

"Yes." Gon confirmed. "Don't you agree, I changed you, Killua? Back when you met me, I saved you for the better?” His brown eyes danced with sincerity. “You said it yourself. I am the correct thing."

  
  
The last part caught Killua mildly off guard, his face heated at the thought of how he should answer such a thing. He sorta expected the question to be thrown back at him, but not this way. His hazy blue eyes looked down, catching Gon before he placed his hand down. He rose to his feet, yanking Gon up with him. "What the hell, where you just about to do?"

 

“Well my hand got tired of no one holding it.”

 

“I was sorting things out with myself!”

 

“Sorting out change?”

 

"Yes!" Killua declared, his eyes blazing with confidence. He wrapped his arms around Gon's waist, holding him so he could feel his boyfriend's heart beat. "I'm not, going to break my promise. Okay? I'm gonna protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you. And...I’ll be a better boyfriend."

  

"You gave me your life, Killua." Gon declared, nuzzling his boyfriend's neck gently. "You gave me every inch of your living soul. I can understand your anger and frustration, so I’m gonna make things right. Then if we fail, we can both fail together."

  
  
Gon scooped Killua's hand in his own, feeling their contrasting differences. Even though they were both living, the way they were raised gave them plenty of variation in their decision making.

 

“I just need to ensure...we’ll be stuck together like glue forever.” Killua started to explain. “My selfishness manafe-“

 

"After all this, you honestly think I care about that?" Gon squeezed their hands together. He looked up at Killua informing him, "I care abo-mmm!" His voice was muffled by Killua aggressively pressing a kiss on his lips. The kiss was slow and Gon felt his bottom lip sucked in Killua's mouth as he felt a tongue reaching out to touch parts with his own.

 

Killua spoke between their lip smacking, "No, but I do. You know it's really so much easier the break someone then fix their shattered spirit back together."

 

"I thought you wanted to break me?" Gon teased, pushing his tongue around.

 

Killua pulled their mouth apart, "Baka! Of course, I do in sex. In real life, I’ll never let anyone disrespect you."

 

A loud cellphone rang.

 

Gon's hair flopped over to hide the sadness building in his brown eyes at the sudden mood break. "Are you going to answer it?"

 

"Its either Alluka or Kalluto. Kalluto might be calling to try and ask where his mommy is."

 

"Heh, I figure..."

 

"If I answer would you speak?"

 

"Yes, I’d tell them myself, I’m coming home."

 

Killua’s blue eyes softened at those words.  Gently his pale hands, brushed the hair out of Gon's face. His thumbs massaging his cute blushing cheeks, "Baby boy, I swear you're the fucking sunshine of my world." Gon leaned into Killua's touches submissively. "So don't worry about me. Our love has the power to bring the world to its knees, so don't fret over the lives of stupid bastards, We will end them next... We'll end anyone who stands in our way." He pressed another little kiss on Gon's lips.

 

Gon couldn't help but rewind. Killua had said, _'Our love'_ as in something they shared which meant that. A bright smile exploded on Gon's face.

 

Killua answered the phone, “So good ne-“

 

Gon shouted loudly, "Alluka, Kalluto! I decided to come home!"

 

There was no reply of course, but there was with no doubt in Gon's mind that through the phone, they had heard him.

 

Killua shot Gon a tender loving look. He kept speaking into the phone, “Yep. That was Gon. I’m bringing him...and I’ll pick up fried chicken and mac n cheese! Lost of chocolate to celebrate of course!” He raved to his siblings. There was a rare happy smile painting his lips.

 

The hotel door opened, as Mito stepped in. “Oh, Gon! You got up and showered. I’m so glad.” She gave a cheerful smile. “Are you feeling better?”

 

Gon knew she couldn’t see Killua just yet. She didn’t see the white haired boy hanging up his phone. All she saw was her darling nephew. She was clueless to his tainted love obsession.

 

Gon felt ugly. This was not the kind of beauty his mother gave birth to him to reflect. Really he wanted to be vivid, vibrant and lay his love on everything. He wanted his aunt to know he had to do this…

 

“I’m feeling better because,” Gon gave his boyfriend a huge hug. “Killua.”

 

“Killua?” The woman repeated in confusion, then slowly fear drenched her face. “HE IS HERE!?” Panic made her face go pale, as her knees buckled. It was the kind of reaction a person with arachnophobia gets when they see a spider. She broke down in a nervous bundle of screams.

 

"Ah...yes. Hi, Gon." Killua mumbled his heart jumping at the familiar feel of Gon's body fitting perfectly against his own. His blue eyes interested in observing the woman who came from the door.

 

Gon pulled away from Killua. "Aunt Mito, this is my boyfriend, Killua! I told you about before." He pressed a kiss on Killua's cheek. "I'm so glad you came, now you can give me permission to go home with him!"

 

Many reasons made Killua hesitate instead of gleefully responding with Gon. Number one, Mito was fucking out yelling. Number two, Mito ran around the room trying to discover where he was. Number three, Mito looked ready to call the cops and have him locked up. He broke out into a visible cold sweat.

 

Killua tugged on the collar of his shirt, letting some air in trying to settle himself. "Gon, actually it's okay. I will just take you home without permission." A loose scowl formed on his face, his ice blue eyes dimmed.

 

Gon held Killua in place defiantly. The touch of their hands tightening as, he pulled the him. "Hey, no!" He tilted his head to the side, his black locks bounced with his brown eyes sparkling a plea. "We need an answer."

 

A light blush appeared on Killua's face, at cute way Gon delicately nuzzled his neck, with the tip of his nose. He was slightly troubled that this action was being performed in front of Gon's Aunt. If anything she would get more upset at him. But Gon was acting extremely cute and slowly Killua was falling victim to the soft relaxing actions.

 

"I guess..." Killua turned his head, unwilling to look Gon in the eye. "I really ju-"

 

Mito cut in there cuddle session, yanking Gon away from Killua immediately. Her sour eyes narrowed in an antagonizing way, as they searched for the source of her hatred.

 

“Where is he, Gon?” Mito asked frantically. She started shaking the boy, prepared to shield him from the monster. (Despite how Gon was a few inches taller than his aunt, the woman really was ready to do anything for him.) “I’ll call the police!”

 

“Hold on, Aunt Mito.” Gon attempted to calm her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her over to the large window letting them look outside into pool. “When you see Killua, you can’t bug out. He preys off fear, literally.”

 

“I can’t… I cant! Gon!” The woman sobbed with her face in her hands. “Please don’t do this.”

 

“Shhh...Aunt Mito.” Gon attempted to calm her. He leaned forward to press a kiss on her cheek. “I have a plan. I’ve gotta go back to save Alluka and Kalluto.”

 

Mito began fidgeting with her phone, still threatening to call the police. “Who are Alluka and Kalluto?” She babbled out in a horrific groan.

 

“Some kids.” Gon said, then corrected, “But not just _some_ kids....kids who believe in me.” His brown eyes gleamed with determination. “They put their faith in me and I cannot let them down.” His voice became soft and urgent. “You understand, right?”

 

“Gon!”

 

“I’m gonna bring them back here. You… can take care of them.”

 

“How are yo-“

 

Gon pulled out the tracking device from his sleeve. “Leorio gave me this. If I turn it on, he’ll call the po-po.” He slipped it back under to hide the object from Killua’s sight. “If things get scary go to Leorio and Kurapika. I’ll be with Killua and s-“

 

The woman started sobbing harder. “No. No...last time you went…”

 

“Hush...I know. I know.” Gon muttered. He wished he could do more, to help her understand. He wished she could see what he could.

 

Her eyes caught sight of the ring resting on his finger. “You took his ring?! Are you really going to…”

 

Gon slowly shook his head. “I’ll come back.” He declared boldly, “I will return and if I don’t it’s because we’re living happily as a family.”

 

Mito stumbled out through tears, “He kills people!” She clenched her phone, unleashing her frustration. “He killed Ging and Kite! He probably killed many more!”

 

Hearing those names made Gon squeeze his eyes shut, to hold back tears. He felt his heart pounding as Ging’s voice roared in his ear. The man had said, “ _I can’t bare to see him like this._ ” Ging couldn't bare the grief of knowing his son had blood on his hands. Killua was right...he had always been right. Especially when he said, “ _I did it for you. You can end the killing!_ ” over the years so many people died because of him.

 

Gon had always been Killua’s partner in crime...even before he accepted the ring on his hand.

 

Gon took a deep breath, his brown eyes flew open as he motioned to his heart. “I involuntarily helped him kill people for years!” The truth made his head spin in guilt as his stomach knotted up. “I was his motive! So I’ll take these cards I was given! This thing humans call destiny and fate...it’s non existent! Free will is a myth made to make people fall into line. There are laws, and there are other forces beyond our control that limit our freedom! Punishment faces those who…” He closed his mouth up, as he saw the look of hurt and sorrow flood his Aunt’s face. All he could do was babble out a broken apology, “Sorry. I probably sounded crazy like Ging right then. I am. I am crazy… insane even. But these creatures really control our lives Aunt Mito. Nothing is… I’m sorry.”

 

“I don’t get it.” The woman muttered, “But you’re passionate about it. I don’t want you to go. But I’ll let you go.” She looked at the tracking device. “I trust you’ll do the right thing and come back to me.”

 

A thankful smile appeared on Gon’s face. He stepped forward with open arms and gave his Aunt a warm hug. “Home is where the heart is.” He didn’t know why he said that. The words made no sense in the context. But maybe it was because a strong part of him knew he’d never see her again.

 

“Okay…” The woman hugged him back tightly.

 

Gon let out a exasperated sigh, feeling the world spinning at top speed before his eyes. His vision bugged out between reality and hallucinations. He pulled away from his aunt, stumbling like a drunk. He slurred his words, “So c-come...heeerreee.” A shaky finger pointed in Killua’s direction. “Look that way.”

 

“Huh? W..where..?” His aunt steady him. “Gon are you okay?”

 

The black haired boy gulped, as his a pain shot through his back. He cracked his neck, turning his eyes around in his socket, till his jaw slacked. “Fine…” He murmured.

 

“You…”

 

“I stopped glowing didn’t I? I’m fine.”

 

“Oh, Gon.. you maybe should see the doctor ag-“

 

“If he said he’s fine!” An image of a boy with white hair and pretty blue eyes flashed before her. The tall boy had a hand around Gon’s waist, his hand in the back pocket of green booty shorts. “He’s fine. Especially long as he’s with me.” The voice was viciously possessive.

 

Mito blinked rapidly amazed on how he appeared out of mid air. Her fears didn’t trump her protection for her nephew. She snapped, "Are you the one who got my precious little nephew in such a brutal state?"

 

"Yes." Killua responded bluntly. There was no need to hide the truth, he was a rotten apple.

 

"Why?" Mito insisted, wanting to understand what made the boy think that he could get away with that. "You do know there are consequences in life."

 

Killua almost snorted, _'What do I look like a damn moron?'_  He nodded his head, offering out his hand. "Yes, it's because of that I came here?" The last part was a question trying to form some type of sympathy from her. He threw in, "To meet you. Probably talk...umm?"

 

Gon sighed a bit disappointed by Killua's truth telling skills. He explained to his Aunt, "I invited him to stay. I wanted him to meet you! So you can, finally work things out with each other."

 

"What?" Mito pulled on Gon's ear in downforce. Gon let out a whimper in a weak complaint. She howled, "Why the heck would you invite a criminal to talk to me like I respect some...!?"

 

"Killua's also my boyfriend! I want you to be fond of him!"

 

"Why are you in love with a criminal?"

 

"I..I didn't mean to!"

 

"I know that!" Mito grunted, there were tears threatening to fall behind her voice. She let go of her nephew and gave him a pitiful look. “I just hurts to hear.  _Hurts to accept._ ” She lowered her head. “That you’re a masochist after I tried so hard to protect you. I can’t… I...” Sorrow drowned out the rest of her words, because what could she say? Could she say, “I _t hurt to see pain make him happy?_ ” But a good guardian always wanted what made their kid happy...so was handing Gon over to a boy that caused him pain the right thing to do? Was liking pain normal? Should she make him stay and get him more help?

  

"Listen, I don't know why Gon likes you." Mito said, her lips in a deep frown. There was not a hint of sweetness in her voice. "Honestly, I could care less about scum of the earth like you. You lie, steal, cheat and get your way. You're a terrible influence on him. Gon was such a GOOD KID, until YOU RUINED HIS MIND.”

 

Killua shrugged uncaringly. "You hate me. I'm cool with that, a lot of people hate me." His words were firm, a slight smirk on his lips. "But Gon doesn't hate me, he loves me. I assume he loves you, too. You know Gon is the sweetest out of the three of us. So it's safe to assume he would want us to put aside our differences. He would want us to get along." That was it, the hanging catch phrase that Killua threw to reel the woman in on his side like a fish on a hook.

 

"Unfortunately, that is the truth." Mito confirmed, finding some courage. "Just know that Gon is the best thing is our lives! So never lose track of the fact that your blessed with the best boyfriend. So if you dare hurt him or break my lil nephew's heart. I'll be beyond your worst nightmare, I'll make every day in your life a living hell. When you think I'm not there, I'll be there. Waiting, watching, the second you slip up and make Gon cry, it's over for you."

 

Normally, Killua would never be scared of a threat like that. It was just a bunch of smoke without fire. But this was not that situation, Mito sounded ready to kick ass and turn over every rock just to track him down. _Very interesting_. It might even be an emotion that he could capitalize on.

 

"I'm taking his advice..." Killua gave a sly smirk. He made air quotation marks, saying the words, "Trying to be, _more nice._ I'm turning my life around." He flipped his white bangs from his eyes, and put his hand back in Gon’s pocket. He liked resting his hand there...one hand on Gon felt safe.

 

Gon agreed, “He really is Aunt Mito.” He encouraged, showing off his ring. “Killua is going to do the right thing and return this ring when he gets the chance.” He elbowed his boyfriend in the gut, “RIGHT?”

 

Killua flashed a nervous smile, “Y-yeah. It’s on loan. Gon’s just holding it.”

 

Mito crossed her arms, clearly she didn’t believe a single word from Killua's mouth. She was worried for Gon. This ‘ _Killua’_ boy was nothing but trouble for the world.

 

“We’re going to go now, Aunt Mito.” Gon said, softly. He started to make his way towards the door. He gave her one last loving look. “Be safe.”


	27. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rough ya'll...but we're reaching the end.

This time—Gon had it _all_ figured out. He knew what he had to do and the time frame within he had to do it.

 

“Your house is literally, right next to mine.” Gon mumbled awestruck at the discovery. He stared at the halfway burned mansion. “It’s just on another wavelength.”

 

“Yep.” Killua confirmed, pushing some rumble out the way. “I’ve really been watching over you. You think I’d joke about that?”

 

“No.” Gon shoved his hands in his pockets. His fingers ran over the emergency device, turning it on. “That’s why I have to do this. You don’t play around.”

 

The boy’s white hair bounced as he nodded. “You’re doing the right thing.” He lead them to the basement door. “Staying with me.” His pale hand ran over the chilly knob. “But our family has an invader, that I’m going to take care of.” His hand clutched the knob, squeezing it in frustration. “I won’t kill him.”

 

“Are you talking about Hisoka?”

 

“I’ll just beat him to a bloody pulp. Just enough to ensure, Illumi comprehends the pain he put us through.”

 

“Revenge isn’t the answ-“

 

“IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS! You weren’t supposed to _see_ this.”

 

Gon put his hand on top of Killua’s. “This side of you?” His eyebrow raised doubtfully.

 

Killua opened up the door, turning his head shamefully. “Something like that.” It was hard to verbalize how he felt. He feared that if he spoke it into existence, it would become undeniable.

 

_Reality was only as real as anyone accepted it._

 

Sanity was only obtained by how much you wanted it; Insanity was given at birth and harbored in the darkness until unleashed. They went hand in hand, but one always had to prevail over the other.

 

They walked inside in silence.

 

Gon’s eyes searched for any other signs of life. “Where are Alluka and Kalluto?” He caught sight of the tv and messy blankets laying on the sofa.

 

Killua let out an unhappy hum, “Sacrifices.” He calmly placed the groceries on the kitchen counter.

 

A horrified expression came on Gon’s face. He stared at Killua in disbelief, “What...WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?” He motioned to the phone in his pocket, “You were talking to them weren’t you?”

 

Killua’s lashes fluttered, his cold blue orbs seemed to shoot bullets in Gon’s soul _. 'I didn't plan for Illumi or Hisoka to here!'_

 

“So wh-?” Gon’s words got cut off by a loud scream. He paused and darted his eyes over to Killua. “That sounded like Alluka.”

 

Killua shrugged. “My little lambs betrayed me.” He drummed his fingers on the counter, “So they will take what they are given.”

 

Gon gawked, “What’s the matter with you? Did you forget why you did all this!?”

 

“No.” Killua insisted. He pushed down the terrible feeling  in his stomach. “They disobeyed and have to face consequences. They didn’t want to be with me.” A pissy expression flashed on his face. “So...I gave them back to Illumi.”

 

Another loud shriek filled the basement. The sound made a few bolts of lightning illuminate Killua’s arms.

 

Gon tutted, “Look at yourself. You still care about them.” He grabbed Killua’s pale hand, “You...can be honest with me. Ya know?” His brown eyes flickered endearingly. “You can tell me the truth about everything.”

 

Killua tensed up, “Why should I tell you what you already know?”

 

Gon kissed his cheek, _'One of us needs to do better communication wise._ ' He pulled away from him. “You’re right. If I go you’ll follow.”

 

The taller 16 year old let out a grunt, his eyes rolling towards the ceiling. “Only because I know you’ll want me too.”

 

A sound of slow clapping filled their ears. “Oh, that was heartwarming.”

 

Both boys turned around to see Chrollo with a smug grin on his face.

 

“So heartwarming. It makes me want to give you both a quick and easy death instead of torture.” Chrollo stopped slapping and pulled out his glock. “So who’s first?”

 

Killua’s heart dropped to his stomach. “WHERE THE HELL ARE MY SIBLINGS?” A million thoughts flooded his brain at once, as fear controlled his body movements.

 

The gang leader shrugged, “Why do you care?” He strolled forward, keeping the gun outwards for protection. “Didn’t you just call them sacrifices?”

 

“Only because, I knew Illumi would never ki-”

 

A heart stopping screech filled the air.

 

Killua took off running, “Alluka!” His love for his siblings overcame his stubbornness as his feet moved. “I’m coming! Z-lit is coming!”

 

“Oh no, he’s not!” A bullet whizzed past Chrollo and shot right at Killua’s ankle.

 

The villain fell to the floor in agony. “How can… ya’ll can see me?” He murmured in horror. “You can see beyond?”

 

“You going to sit your ass down.” Franklin stepped out, reloading his weapon.

 

“Killua!” Gon shouted. He glared at the gang members closing in on them. “What’s your deal?”

 

"You don't get it!" Chrollo raised his voice slightly as he stared intensely at them. His dark eyes blazing as he watched their completely stupid faces.They were acting like HE WAS TALKING MADNESS! Frantically. his eyes cut side to side, as anger boiled up in him. "It's all the principle of _respect_. You have to be respectful, but you just don’t learn."

 

Gon flitched at the word, ‘ _respect_ ’ it reminded him about what his Aunt Mito said, _“How can you expect us to trust you to go to some fancy college and represent us, when you can’t even be respectful here!?”_ Maybe this was what he deserved for trying to do better for himself. This is how it felt to try and be smart---like the stubborn grass between the sidewalk cracks. _He shouldn’t have been growing there._

 

“Now don’t be stupid...The world is all about money.” Chrollo rubbed his hands together, “And you just took a big L, screwing around and selling on our turf. Then you have the nerve to disrespect my gang, then kill two teachers just to place the blame on...” His fist met the wall as he pounded it angrily. “I AIN’T PLAYING THESE GAMES WITH YOU!”

 

Phinks rolled his eyes, "Boss, I get you just went through some trauma. So I guess it's natural to be delusional." The blonde cut his eyes over to Feitan who elbowed him roughly urging him to keep on talking. "But that's no reason to punch walls.” He froze when he saw Chrollo's eyes flash in a deadly manner.

 

“You think we were playing?” Chrollo gave Gon a look of disgust, “We really out here killing bitches for talking shit.” The man's fingernails dug into the wall as the dim light from the window leaked across half his face. It allowed the illusions of a shadow to fall over him. "This time no teachers are here to play superhero.”

 

“But I’m here.” Killua snarled, “And you never mess with _my_ family!” He let out an unhinged completely deranged screech, firing balls of lighting at the teens scrambling away. His white hair sparked out of control as he struggled to his feet. “Where the hell is Alluka and Kalluto?” Regret and anguish filled his words, “You tell me, NOW.”

 

Chrollo growled as the zap of lightning electrified his flesh. A howl passed his lips, “Damn, Hisoka was right. You really are some kind of supernatural freak.” He shuttered, at the sight of Killua all lit up with lightning dancing around his body. He looked at his damaged arm, "No human can do this. No human can make lightning appear out of thin air. No human is that strong or fast."

 

“Hisoka!” Killua unleashed a slur of cursed under his breath.

 

Gon’s face morphed into one of frustration. “No way...I asked him to help me out.”

 

“You asked Hisoka for help?”

 

“I...I was desperate!”

 

“And, you did know what you had to do.” Hisoka chimed in. He walked between, Gon and Killua. A sly smile implanted on his lips. “You did it.” He tapped a slender finger on Gon’s nose.

 

“Get your hands off him!” Killua launched another lightning bolt in the gang’s direction.

 

Mei walked over to observe Chrollo’s arm. Gently, she scraped her skin over the burn marks. “They’re freaks alrights.”

 

Machi cut her eyes up at Chrollo. She sounded a bit unimpressed, "So what is the family? Are they just a bunch of freaks something?" She flipped her pink hair mockingly, as she pierced her lips together observing the same patch of burnt skin.

 

Chrollo's forehead puckered, "Freak or not, no one disrespects the Phantom Troupe." A sly smirk came on his face, "No one takes our fucking money."

 

Nobunaga grit his teeth, focusing all his attention on Chrollo. He dragged a single digit across his sword, "Did you forget Uvogin is in the hospital because of that blond haired chain user? We should get him, too."

 

"Of course not." Chrollo winked owlishly, "Everyone will pay for Gon’s transgression." A satisfied snake like expression slipped on his face. He paced back and forth, laying out his elaborate scheme. "Killua and his siblings are just the start."

 

"Heh?" Nobunaga arched an eyebrow up haunty, full of distrust.

 

"Hmm.." Hisoka clicked his tongue, crossing his arms. “I don’t know about all that. Illumi let us do this so he can finally get his brother back.” A bit of deception controlled his tone, “We’re done here.”

 

“No one is done! I’ll never give in!” Killua barked with an edge that oozed off a maniacal feeling.

 

Hisoka smirked as his yellow eyes gave a gleam of deviltry. “Don’t you think, it’s time to stop with the madness?”

 

Killua stubbornly pushed Hisoka away from Gon. "I wouldn't call it madness...more like optimistic thinking." He stood by Gon’s side, “Now somebody better tell me where my siblings are.” A storm of lightning encased his body. “Before I turn this whole place into a bloodbath.”

 

“Killua! You promised no more killing people!” Gon shouted desperately.

 

“If they touched a single hair on either one of their heads, all promises I break, I’ll pay back by breaking each one of their bones.” Killua snarled.

 

"That’s not very loyal." Machi chuckled lowly. “Besides, you're outnumbered. You’re outmatched.” She spun her gun around.

 

“So stand down, Kil.” Illumi warned, stepping past the gang. “You want to make sure your siblings are okay? That your little family is still alive and well?”

 

“Illumi! You bastard!” Killua bolted over to him, “You take me to them.”

 

Illumi hesiated, dodging the crackling lighting ball. “Alright.” He walked backwards, motioning for Killua to come with him. “You can shoot Gon.” He gave a wave of approval to Chrollo. “Just don’t kill him yet.”

 

“No!” Gon screamed. He clinged to Killua for dear life, “You can’t! If they accidentally kill me! Everyone will know!”

 

“Everyone?”

 

“It’s over for you. I already called for help.”

 

Hisoka cracked his knuckles, "You think, we came here to stop now? Illumi and I came here to save lives. We're doing a noble cause!"

 

Illumi gave a nod of approval, "The right choice to make, is not always the most easiest but noble.

 

"Noble my ass!" Killua launched a ball of electricity at Illumi's head. "I never want to fucking see you again! Why can't you get that? I fucking hate you! I hate you more than anything! All you ever did for me is give me hell!”

 

“Mommy!” Kalluto shouted, stumbling past the sweaty teenagers. He pushed his small body through the commotioned and into Gon’s arms.

 

“Kalluto...how did you?” Gon recalled, Alluka’s power to teleport people. He hugged the elementary schooler tightly. “Where is Alluka?”

 

Kalluto shuddered mortified, burying his face in Gon's stomach. “She is safe in her room.” He whined.

 

“Ooo…This beat down is going to feel so good.” Killua sneered, “You t-”

 

Kalluto covered his ears, as he inhaled the smell of blood on Gon’s shirt. He tried ignore the frazzled pissed off yelling. But Illumi's maniacal laughter was unbearable.

 

Illumi insisted, "See! Gon has no place for you, Killua!" He reached up to snag Killua by the arm, only to have the boy jolt back.

 

Killua spat, "First of all, Gon said being a hero is helping others! I'm HELPING! So stop trying to break us apart!" Protectively, his strong arms scooped up Gon.

 

Gon let out a fearful trill. "I'm not yelling because I'm mad! I'm just..." There were no words to describe how he felt right now or how torn apart his heart was. Just when he assumed he understood who Killua really was, he switched it up. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CHOOSE, KILLUA?"

 

"I thought  it wasn't about sides?"

 

"I mean your personality!"

 

"Huh?" Killua dropped his head. "Am I being scolded for doing the right thing?” He sounded so innocent like he didn’t pour matches all over then set everything on fire.

 

Gon kicked in Killua's arms, reaching out like a helpless child to touch the wall for something to stable himself on. "I'm stupid!” He found himself admitting to his own failures. Tears built up in his eyes as he slowly reflected on all the mistakes he made. "I'm so damn stupid!”

 

"Gon?" Killua questioned, looking at the male hanging in his grip. A confound lost wave of mystification washed over him as his mind tried to comprehend, "No you're not!” You're the sun. My sunshine!"

 

"And you're my failed creation!" Gon snapped, pointing directly at Killua. His brown eyes turned dark as his body rocked back and forth to steady himself. He wanted Killua to let go of him~ he wanted out of the hug and out of the illusion that if he kept on living like this everything would be okay.

 

Kalluto could see the utter yearning for freedom in his eyes. He could tell Gon had that stage of fear in his eyes, like a caged bird who was singing to be set free. A declaration of independence came out his lips, "LET HIM GO!"

 

"Who?" Killua's blue eyes flared up as if he was upset that anyone was posing a challenge for him right now. "The heck said that?" His sight darted to Kalluto who locked his cold hands over Killua's.

 

The child repeated, "Let him go." He pushed Killua's grip from around Gon's waist. “Don’t touch my mommy!”

 

Kalluto acted before his mind could configure the outcome. But now that his mind had came to terms with what he'd just, he stared up at Killua with a look of utter terror. His pupils started to shrink in cowardliness as lightning spread all over his older brother's body, each energy wave made him suddenly regret his past decision.

 

Kalluto frantically reached out, grabbing the ends of Gon's shirt as he pulled himself into it. He pleaded in a muffled tone, "Just leave him alone. Leave us alone! Leave it! All you ever...you just touch stuff and fuck it up!"

 

Killua paused, malice laced in his mood. "I..I...no..NO THAT'S WHAT I USED TO DO!" He made a fist full of rage as he glared at Kalluto. "The new me is different!" A slight crack came in his tone as he pointed at his boyfriend, "Gon tell them! Tell them all, that we're an absolute duo together!”

 

Gon placed his hand over Kalluto's head. “I don’t care about that right now.” He glanced at Chrollo. “If you have a problem with me. Kill me.”

 

“No. You called the cops!” Chrollo denied, “I see now, if I’m going to go to jail for the rest of my life...” He looked Kalluto up and down. “It would be much more fun to hurt the ones you love.” His gun took aim at the child. “Then you’ll have to live all your life suffering.”

 

“Don’t touch Kalluto.” Illumi snapped, “He’s not in the deal. You have Gon.” He pointed at the 16 year old.

 

Chrollo laughed darkly, turning off the gun’s safety. “Deal’s dead like my future.” He snapped his fingers, commanding his gang. “Light this place up.”

 

“Don’t you hurt my family!” Killua jumped in front of Gon and Kalluto. He shoved them down the hallway, “Get to Alluka’s room!”

 

“Gon!” Alluka chirped, swinging her door open. “Kalluto! Get in here now.”

 

“You may be smart, SAT studying boy.” Hisoka fired off shots. “But can you outsmart bullet?”

 

Illumi grabbed his wrist, “You call off your gang friends! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go down.”

 

The clown make-up wearing boy shrugged carelessly, “But this is more fun isn’t it? This is way more thrilling!” His devilish yellow eyes locked on to coffee brown. “Just the way, Gon likes it.”

 

Gon picked Kalluto up and carried him into Alluka’s room. Killua shielded them from the onslaught of bullets.

 

Alluka flashed Gon a weak smile,  clapping her hands together. “You’re actually back! How was the test?”

 

“Heh…” Gon shrugged, “like all test.” He dropped Kalluto near Alluka’s bed.

 

Alluka slammed her room door closed. “I wish this conversation could be in better setting.”

 

Gon rubbed his temples, “Same.”

 

Killua shoved Alluka’s dresser over to barricade them inside. “They have to run out of bullets eventually.” He backed away and marked a safe spot on the floor. “Until them stay far away from the door.”

 

“I’m scared big brother.” Alluka ran into Killua’s arms.

 

Killua kissed her forehead, “I’m sorry for abandoning you. I was so mad then, but I’m going to do better now.” He stole a glance at Gon. “I’m changing to become a real hero.”

 

Gon avoided meeting his gaze.

 

Human emotions were strange to how a person could appear to be so calm cool and collected completely uncaring while in reality they were falling apart inside. Everyone tried to be brave, because in reality everyone wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment. Humans lived for rewards and needed drive to achieve what they wanted.

 

But Killua wasn’t a human.

 

Killua didn’t live for a want...he lived for Gon.

 

Even if Gon didn’t want him, relentlessly he would change to try and impress his sunshine. It was impossible. It was foolish and stupid. But after living for a lie so long...what was stopping him from living for another one?

 


	28. Of comic books and supervillains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I still see your shadows in my room  
> Can't take back the love that I gave you  
> It's to the point where I love and I hate you  
> And I cannot change you so I must replace you  
> Easier said than done  
> I thought you were the one  
> Listening to my heart instead of my head"   
> ~Juice WRLD

It wasn’t until late did things finally calm down. The sound of footsteps was still able to heard outside the door. Every so often, a banging would come followed by loud yelling.

 

Killua hugged his family close, as they snuggled together on the floor. He sweetly pressed a kiss on Gon’s face.

 

“I'm sleepy.." Gon mumbled, with his face snug between the pillows.

 

Killua crashed his lips into Gon’s again. “Can I just remember kissing you?” He didn’t desire for this to end. But if he went out like this, he wanted his last moments to be with his lips locked with Gon’s.

 

Gon feverishly pushed Killua away from him. "I'm SLEEPY."

 

"What does that have to do with me?" Killua whined. Hs white hair bounced as a smug look crossed his lips.

 

A crummy feeling kicked in Gon. He searched Killua's blue eyes, for comfort that he knew wasn't there. He knew Killua just couldn't wrap his mind around it.

 

Gon pushed the cover off and rose to his feet. "I need a break, okay? I’m stressed out and making out isn’t making things easier.” He kept his voice low so the other teens outside couldn’t hear him.

 

Killua clicked his tongue, "What do you mean, that?" He made sure to emphasize the last word. A bit of distress being set loose from his voice as hysteria settled in.

 

"You KNOW!"

 

"No, I don't. If I KNEW, I wouldn't HAVE TO ASK you."

 

"Damn it! We talked about this."

 

"And I said, I changed! What's the problem? Why are you always having so many problems?"

 

"You KNOW WHAT YOU DID."

 

"I-ahh...uuuhh-umm...No?"

 

"No?" Gon's brown orbs melted like chocolate as his eyebrows gracefully knitted together. "Why is that always all you have to say for yourself?"

 

"If you want me to say something different...TELL ME WHAT TO SAY." Killua said, bluntly. He couldn't untangle the knot as to why his boyfriend was suddenly so wishy-washy.

 

Gon turned away without saying another word.

 

Killua sat up, his blue eyes narrowing as he watched him walk away. He wanted to plead, “ _Tell me what else, I need to fix and I'll fix it!”_ But Gon wouldn’t listen to him. Beside Gon said himself he couldn’t, “ _Trust a psychopath.”_

 

Killua sighed heavily and blinked up at the ceiling. He mumbled to himself, "I know, I'm not enough. I'm sorry. I try! Can you give me credit for trying?" Unconsciously, he chewed on his bottom lip, his hand trembling as he raised it slightly to skim over his boyfriend's skin. It was an act done timorously as he held his heart out for Gon to claim.

 

"Shut up, Killua! Sorry is not going to cut it! No more it's not!" Gon held a sob in the back of his throat. "Sometimes people keep telling you do things and you put it off. But there are deadlines!" He felt his legs start to wobble, uncomfortable with the situation.

 

"Deadlines? How was I supposed to know there was a deadline if no one told me?"

 

"You don't complain about deadlines, you move on, suck it up, and say thank you."

 

"Thanks for what?"

 

"For me having to waste my time on a failure like you."

 

Kalluto stirred in his sleep. He pulled a pillow over his head. "Ugh! Can you do this somewhere else?"

 

"No! Go back to sleep! We can argue where we want to argue! Damn it!" Killua fired back at his little brother.

 

Kalluto hastily sat up, kicking his cover off him to the side. His hair was wild and displaced over his purple eyes glaring between the two of them. “I get it. Families fight. But even when you fight, you still love each other.” He rubbed his eyes, “This could be the end for us. Do you really want your end to be mad at each other?”

 

Alluka sleepily tugged on Kalluto's shirt, “They won’t. But they have some problems to work out.” She flashed a tired smile, urging him to let it go and lay back down.

 

A sympathetic expression came on Kalluto’s face. It seemed like for the first time, Alluka wasn’t going to do something and leave him all alone.

 

Alluka pulled her little brother into a hug. “When this is all over, we’ll have a happy family again.” She rubbed his head, whispering a sweet lullaby in his ear. “Killua and Gon promised.”

 

Kalluto cuddled with his sister. A warm smile on his face as he laid beside her.

 

Killua dropped dead silent, his white bangs hanging over his eyes almost as if shame had finally stabbed his heart. He had tried so hard to please Gon. All he wanted was to glue a permanent smile on his lips.

 

Killua felt like he wasn't worthy for Gon's wonderful presence.

 

"Just go then. Let me be a failed experiment alone." Killua muttered, unsure of what he was saying. The only voice he could hear in his brain replaying Illumi's harsh words teasing, _“I’ve seen you Kil. You really are the best to lead the family. You’re a real monster. You can’t be our creation and Gon’s at the same time. You try to pull on both sources. You live for the fact, Gon gave you confidence and accepted you for who you are. You live for a LIE!_ ” For a few seconds he actually believed it.

 

"What?" Gon said, his ears twitching to hear more. Oh.. Gon would leap at the chance of freedom...if he could just stop Killua from smothering him.

 

Killua's love was suffocating and restricting.

 

The villain shouted, "I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE UNHAPPY! I DON'T TO SEE YOU CRY OVER ME SO IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO THEN LEAVE! I don't wanna see it!" He didn't know why he was furious, and he took out his rage on others. It was easier this way. More simple to yell at the things he still couldn't understand.

 

"F-fine!" The black haired boy shouted back. His shout was more sad, more disillusioned, more stressful.

 

Gon’s legs took him to the nearest place that had a lock on it. Through tunnel vision, he was barely able to find the door.

 

“On your left.” Alluka coed, knowing her bedroom lay out better than anyone else. She explained, “Don’t expect privacy. Illumi and the gang are probably watching our movements from the control studio.”

 

Gon snorted, “That’s just amazing.” He rolled his eyes, “Ya know, I was just trying to take a breather.”

 

“Well you know what the problem with that is?” Killua quipped.

 

Gon whipped his head around dramatically, his bloodshot eyes glaring at Killua.

 

“Families don’t keep secrets.”

 

Gon sighed, stumbling in the bathroom. The tile feeling like ice on his bare feet, as he flicked on the light switch. The lights were fancily placed above the mirror, forcing him to see his reflection.

 

A reflection.

 

A glance at himself.

 

A reveal of what he had become.

 

A slim array of scars  had engraved themselves on his arm. Dark bags hanged under his eyes, his lips swollen from constant abuse and sucking. A litter of hickeys around his shirt collar and bite marks up his neck. It looked like the life had been completely  drained from him.

 

Gon didn't even recognize himself. He didn't know himself anymore. What had he become? A mindless creature who blindly followed Killua because they had nowhere else to go?

 

He let out a slight sob, "Goddamn it.." He hugged his body rocking himself in his own arms. Pure waves of distress came off him as he sank to the floor like the titanic~ all his hopes and dreams of ever being rescued went deep into the sea of blue.

 

_Love and loyalty: That's what they seemed to stand for._

 

Gon wasn't made for this type of life. He always thought having superpowers would be cool or awesome! But Killua's super powers brought nothing but pain and suffering!

 

The pain never really hurt. The sharpness had dulled like a sweet butter knife.

 

Tears rolled down Gon's face like a rushing waterfall. His head spun with delirious thoughts almost impossible to make sense of. The world around him grew dark and blurry. All his ears could hear was Killua's cackling bouncing off his ear drums constantly haunting his mind.

 

Memories of the past made him cringe, especially all the lies he told for his own selfish guilty pleasures. Maybe this was what he gets. Maybe it was what he deserved after all. Nothing but agony since he was unable to unchain his will to be free from fear.

 

_It was cowardliness, with a sense of belonging._

 

_Now he was owned... he DID BELONG, and GON HATED IT._

 

That was where he went wrong. Little 12 year old him, messed up when he looked in the mirror and kissed the monster that appeared. _The kiss of death._

 

"I'm empty.." Gon whispered, pressing his back against the cool bathroom wall. "Not even depression wants to fill my soul. It would rather occupy the air around me, to hold me down, keep my chains grounded."

 

' _To Killua's side.'_ Was the unspoken last part of Gon's statement. Even if he couldn't speak it out, he had accepted the truth. He'd done it a long time ago, considering that there was only despair behind him and murky darkness ahead.

 

So this was insanity... The sound of Killua's crazy sadistic laugh stuck in his brain mixed with the sound of gunshots.

 

His shoulders heaved up and down as he sobbed, rocking back and forth. He mumbled out a nervous chant to calm his spinning head. "This can’t. None of it..none of it _can_ be real. Sanity can’t lose to insanity! I’ll kill myself!" The rapid sound of gunfire and sadistic laughter bounced around in his head.

 

Everything made him paranoid—his bones rattled, his heart beated out of time, his mind disrupted. He struggled to prove his sane mind was the superior to a distorted reality.

 

Gon turned his head to the toilet seat beside him, catching a glimpse of his wrecked body. His face had bandages decorating it, a few hickeys around his chin, near the collar.

 

The stupid fucking collar that had stupid fucking Killua's name on it.

 

_His._

 

_Gon belonged to Killua._

 

Gon didn't even feel like his own person anymore. No longer like himself. Sure Killua might have changed... but in the process, Killua had changed him.

 

_He'd become a monster._

 

_He'd become disillusioned, perplexed, and shattered._

 

Gon started to gag, his mouth closed up feeling food hit his throat. He leaned forward over the bowl. All he saw was those cold deep chestnut brown eyes, all signs of happiness and life completely drained from them.

 

How pitiful was he?

 

He was having a total meltdown in the bathroom.

 

He threw up, dry heaving at the huge chunks of food in the water. It was a struggle to breath as his mouth kept making inconsistent sobbing noises. He raked his fingers through his soft spiky black hair, tears falling as reality washed over him.

 

"Killua's universe..." Hiis hazy brown eyes drifted to the ring on his finger. His tone switched as he gazed at the sparkle, "Our universe...Our love...Our power."

 

_Our_

 

_Our was a collective possessive pronoun_

 

_What was Killua's was by force Gon's..._

 

The world might be done a favor if Gon killed himself. Then Killua wouldn't be able to use his powers again and that crazy inner devilish evil inside him would finally be stopped. Yet, fate proved over and over again that Gon was a weak and pathetic person. He would think about suicide and talk about it, but he never had the balls to carry it out. He'd just been hoping somewhere along the line the world would take him out. Now even that seemed impossible because Killua seemed to have formed some twisted dedication to Gon.

 

When had love become so clingy, so violent, so heartless?

 

He dug his fingers in his scalp, trying to gain control over his ragged sobs. He crawled away from the toilet. His fingers reached in his pocket to pull out the tracking device, holding down a button he spoke into it. “Leorio?”

 

“It’s Kurapika.” A voice on the other end responded, “He’s busy with the rest of the Hunters making plans right now.”

 

“What? Oh gosh...the situation.” Gon sucked on his tongue. “Things have changed.” A little sob escaped his lips, “And I’m too weak to do anything about it.”

 

“Gon, are you crying?” Kurapika’s tone was laced in concern.

 

“Hey! Gon!” Killua's voice broke through the air. His fist pounded on the bathroom door, “Who are you talking to?”

 

“Ah!” Gon knew that Killua would get pissed if he ignored him. He nervously unlocked the door, “It’s help.” A phony smile crossed his lips.

 

Kurapika agreed, “We are going to send in backup.”  

 

"Wow, you're pretty passionate about an idea with no plan, no directions, or no clear escape bait." Killua muttered under his breath.

 

"SHUT UP! THAT'S WAIT KILLUA?!” Kurapika snarled, recognizing the voice.

 

Gon felt a wave of confusion come over him. "Kurapika you really shouldn't get mad at Killua, especially after what you just said-"

 

"I know WHAT I JUST SAID!" Kurapika huffed,  "And you all know what I meant. This is a real thing we have to take it seriously."

 

Killua deadpanned, "Someone tell me this is a JOKE." He snatched the communication device from Gon. “We don’t need your help. I can take out Chrollo all by myself, without killing him. I just need to get to Hisoka first.”

 

"What? Chrollo is there!” Kurapika sounded ready to knocked the shit out of the gang leader. “That’s it. We need to reach for the stars and pull out all the stuff!"

 

"Do you want to know the problem with that?" Killua challenged, "The stars are really really really high up. Do you know what the closest star is? The sun. Do you know how far away the sun is?"

 

"No, but I can look it up." Kurapika mumbled.

 

"It's almost 93,000,000 miles away." Killua reached one arm up toward the ceiling, jumping upwards. "Look at me I'm trying to reach the sun! Oooooh, just missed! Just missed again! Maybe this time I will be able to jump 93,000,000 miles high! NOPE! Not that one!"

 

“Killua stop.” Gon flushed the toilet. “Kurapika can’t see you. But you look like an idiot.” He went over to rinse his mouth with water.

 

Killua quit cutting a fool, settling back down and crossing his arms.  "I’m just saying, I can take care of it."

 

The blonde scoffed, “Take care of it? YOU HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT TRASH TO GON! You're the reason why he's crying in the bathroom, ya know that?"

 

Killua's voice cracked in anger, "I try so hard! I try to care for him, but he doesn't fucking want it! It's like...he claims I'm NOT taking from him ENOUGH! Then for some freak reason, everything I do ends up wrong."

 

"Maybe if you stopped being a pansy fuck ass and ACTUALLY LISTENED TO WHAT GON HAS TO SAY!" Kurapika fired off.

 

"Fuck you!" Killua yelled. "You don't know nothing about the relationship we have! You know nothing about us!” His finger threatened to end the call right now, “We don’t need your help. So...so just hang up!”

 

"Not until you apologize."

 

"Like I'd ever say sorry to you!"

 

"I'm talking about to Gon, you dumbass! How ignorant are you!?"

 

Gon shut off the cold water. He turned back around to face Killua.

 

Killua held out the tracking device to him. “I’m sorry.” A shadow crossed over his face, “Sorry, you didn’t trust me enough to come back with me so you had to call _these_ fools!”

 

Gon shook his head, “I came back because I lov-”

 

“STOP defending him!” Kurapika blurted, “Why do you keep standing up for his insanity?"

 

"I have to take ca-"

 

"It's not your job."

 

"I know bu-"

 

"It's NOT YOUR JOB."

 

"I understand but please, let me ju-"

 

"IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE OF KILLUA OR HIS SIBLINGS!"

 

"OKAY! I GET IT BUT...I CANNOT LET THEM SUFFER! YEAH, IT’S NOT MY JOB. BUT I WANT TO DO IT! DO YOU KNOW THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?"

 

"Yeah.. you could have left them alone and been free."

 

Gon hesitated for a few seconds. He didn't know what possessed him to cover for Killua's foolishness again. _What was wrong with him?_

 

Killua looked at him with a steady tender gaze.

 

Oh, that was what was wrong with him.

 

"There is a Killua, that wasn’t like this..." Gon sniffled, "But I understand that he’s gone now and no amount of change will bring him back. Insanity can’t be cured, it can only be dealt with for a short amount of time." He clutched the device harder, “For that reason there will always be crazy people in this world. Somebody had to help those people. Somebody has to take them in and give them hope.”

 

"I see...you’re still not over your hero complex." Kurapika said. His tone signaled that he was disgusted rather than understanding. "Well I hope you're proud of what happening now. Hope he gives you all that you WANT and MORE. But the plan will commence tomorrow morning, with or without _his_ cooperation."

 

There was a loud beep as the call ended.

 

Gon felt like he'd verbally been crushed by a tremendous boulder.

 

"It's okay, baby boy." Killua muttered, seeing the worry on his boyfriend's face. He reached for Gon’s hand. "You still have me. Honestly that's all you'll ever need. Just you and I for forever. Screw them all. They just hating because they're jealous of us. All of them." A bit of delusion swirled in blue eyes. He planted a kiss on pretty pink lips, "Even when I'm playing hero... When, I'm being your hero. What really is justice anyway? I'll get rid of everyone out there."

 

Gon whimpered, "Because you never changed.." There was always a price to pay when something good happens in life. This was definitely it, the price Gon was having to pay for wanting nothing more than a perfect comic book love story.

 

_Gon regretted it..._

 

_He regretted not being able to truly save Killua._

 

_Gon had failed Killua; just like he failed himself._


	29. Of comic books and supervillains

Love really was a strange concept. The dictionary definition varied by the source and country. There were also very different kinds of love, different ways to show love, different ways to say love. But love was always _a feeling._ A feeling that has been around since the earth was created, and would stick around until life destroyed itself.

 

_And maybe….Love, would be the reason life destroyed itself._

 

Gon scratched his head. “Alright.” He inhaled sharply, “If you’re really serious about…”

 

“Of course, I’m serious about this. I love you." Killua reaffirmed as let go of Gon's warm hands.

 

Gon avoided eye contact. He messed with the ring on his finger, "I know."

 

"I don't want you to leave me." Killua squeaked out shyly in fear his lover might run from him. He swallowed dryly, "Please, promise me. I need you, Gon.”

 

Recently, Killua had learned the difference between “ _I want you and I need you.”_ Gon was not a want.

 

_Gon was the only piece of sanity that Killua had left._

 

Killua pleaded, “I need you so much. I promise, I'm working on fixing everything. I'm going to give us good lives." There was desperation burning his voice along with the sad look on his face.

 

Gon murmured lowly, "Do we...d-do we even deserve to go live a long good life after this?" He seemed to be questioning himself, over everything, or more so questioning Killua for his true character. "Do you really think, we should be happy? After all we've done."

 

"You haven't done anything!" Killua cried out almost hysterically, "It's my fault! This is my fault! It's always my fault!" He banged his forehead against the wall. "I should have done better before! But I didn't I fucked it up! I should never had used you and took you for advantage! Now you hate me... YOU HATE ME!"

 

"Killua!" Gon screamed as he grabbed his boyfriend's arm trying to pull him away from doing anymore damage to his skull. "Killua! STOP IT! STOP!" He pulled the taller boy into a warm hug, pleading, "Stop hurting yourself like this...please. You promised me, nobody else has to get hurt."

 

Killua let out a shuddering breath. “I did." His mind was starting to come to terms with everything. How he constantly fooled himself into thinking out _there_ was something better. "You can't leave me, Gon!" He cried out desperately. He was visibly nervous as he squeaked out the words, "You can't!”

 

“We made a promise when we were young and I’m not going to break that.” Gon swore, “Even if you're a lunatic. You deserve compassion too." He shook his head, “What happened was a tragedy, but never lose sight about who you really did all this for.”

 

Killua blinked his eyes and electricity circled around his body. “That’s right.” His palms zapped voltage through them.

 

“Only our power can save them. Love has to save them.”  Gon removed the collar and leash set from off his neck. "So be my hero, one last time." The words rolled off his tongue like a snake's, "Z-lit." He wrapped the collar around Killua's neck, firmly locking it in place. "You’re mine, aren't you? My hero, with his childish puppy love." He pressed their foreheads together. “The creation always loves their creator, it’s just facts.”

 

Neither of them pulled away for a long time, they just enjoyed the protection of being in each other's company. They were both blindsided and vulnerable, yet had the other to watch their back where they couldn't see. They trusted each other with their life.

 

_In the name of love and terms of affection._

 

Killua croaked weakly, "I'm yours. Just like you were meant to be mine. It's sweet bliss, just to be in your presence. To hear your voice, it's my salvation." He hanged his head in shame, submitting to his boyfriend's actions. "You said yourself our love could accomplish anything...So you better prove it."

 

You better PROVE IT.

 

PROVE IT.

 

PROVE I

 

PROVE

 

PROV

 

PRO

 

PR

 

P

 

Pessimistic.... Perturbing!

 

Hyperventilating!

 

Gon cried out in agony at his boyfriend. “We have no concept of time.” He pushed him away as his discombobulated brain panicked. “We better start some action. It better be epic too, might be the last impulsive action I’ll make.” He exited the bathroom, with Killua by his side.

 

Killua walked over, kneeling down to delicately give Alluka a kiss on the lips. He figured this was the proper goodbye for one last time. “Yeah.” He rose to his feet, shooting a bolt of lightning to turn the dresser to ashes. “Let’s do this.” Determined blue eyes looked at Kalluto and Alluka.

 

Gon scratched his head again, his bottom lips slipping between his teeth. “If we’re lucky help will arrive in time.” He trembled, “But...Whatever happens from here on in…”

 

“Shh…” Killua silenced Gon. “We already said all we needed to.” He pushed open the bedroom door.

 

"Oh so you guys are awake. Alright." A man with brown hair in a ponytail was sitting before him for the most part, his chin resting on the head of his sword. "The name is Nobunaga. I have a few things to ask you."

 

"You actually think I'm gonna answer you honestly?" Gon challenged completely ready to fight them.

 

Nobunaga let out a slight laugh, smiling back at the fellow members of his gang. "See, I like him. He’s got spunk."

 

Gon revolted a bit, narrowing his eyes. "Well I don't like either of you.”

 

Killua stepped in front of Gon protectively,  “Where is Chrollo, Hisoka and Illumi?"

 

"Straight to the point, eh?" Nobunaga’s tone remained firm as his smile started to drop. His dark eyes glared at Gon, "You’ll have to get through us to find out."

 

"You’re obviously not that bright, like your chain user friend. If you think you can match fist with us." Fetian spat.

 

"Kurapika." Phinks snickered, "Never thought I'd see someone be stupid like him and ruin his own life."

 

"Well he's never gonna be graduating now." Feitan muttered, a sly smirk coming on his face. "That's one less thing to worry about. Even if we never properly get our revenge."

 

"Shut up! Don't talk about Kurapika like that! Of course he'll graduate after this whole thing clears up!" Gon snarled.

 

"Sunshine, don’t get distracted." Killua muttered, his blue eyes dryly looking at his boyfriend. He jumped into action, knocking the gun from Nobunaga’s hand. “We have a deadline to meet.”

 

* * *

 

 

The child groaned, as the sound of sirens filled his ears. “Mmeer...” The loud annoying alarms awoke him from his slumber. “Why is everyone so loud?” He wiggled away from the hold of his big sister. “Ya’ll really going to make me lose my mind with all this lou-” His eyes caught sight of the bedroom door wide open.

 

A wave of panic washed over him. He grabbed his sister and shook her frantically.

 

Alluka grumbled, “Chill out.” She moved the sheet around a bit. “Don’t kick so much.”

 

“Alluka! Come on.” Kalluto urged, “This is crazy. I hear the police and smell blood.”

 

“Get Killua or Gon, they’ll know what to do.”

 

“They’re not here.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“THE BEDROOM DOOR IS OPEN!”

 

The sound of Kalluto raising his voice, made Alluka snap her eyes open in alert. She jolted upwards, rubbing her eyes. “Crap. W-where? Where did they go?”

 

Kalluto gulped dryly, “Do you think the mean luntics got to them?” Anxiously, he fidgeted with his shirt. “They did have guns.”

 

A pissed off expression clouded Alluka’s face. “Killua wouldn’t go down without a fight.” She stood up and dusted off her dress. She peeked out the door, “But that would explain the trail of blood.”

 

Kalluto’s jaw slacked slightly, “We...we have to help.” His heart contorted at the thought of losing another mommy. “We can’t be a happy family with anyone missing.” His feet took off down the hall.

 

"KALLUTO!" Alluka snapped in an aggressive whisper. “We can’t! We..” She moved forward to catch up him.

 

The little boy was far ahead, following the trail of bodies to the studio room. He gazed in awe at Hisoka and Gon. Gon looked ready to fall out at any second while Hisoka was barely injured. "Hisoka's strong, but Gon's stubborn. They'll end up fighting until he's dead." A zap of lightning zipped past his face, followed by the blurred image of Illumi fighting Killua. “Hey!”

 

"DEAD!?" Alluka choked out. She barrel rolled the final few steps to catch up with Kalluto. “If anyone is dead. We shou-” The words got caught in her throat, as she clamped her sweaty palm over Kalluto’s mouth. Her usually happy face grew gloomy, “Don’t you ever say that with no context.”

 

Kalluto let out a muffled grunt.

 

Alluka squeezed Kalluto’s jaw harder, “Understand?”

 

Kalluto nodded.

 

Alluka released him. She held his hand, ensuring that he didn’t do something stupid. “You said you heard sirens? Let’s wait.” It really wasn't worth all this.

 

Kalluto opened his mouth to reject.

 

“If we do something, it might make things worse.”

 

“I...can’t. I’m just like Killua said, an optimist now.”

 

"Hehe..." Alluka let out an uncertain laugh, trying to ignore the terrible feeling in her stomach. "You're so crazy. Just like Killua sometimes, ya know that?" She shook her head, “But unlike him. You can listen to me, Kalluto.”

 

A slight fire burned in Kalluto's eyes. "I’m done listening to people. I used to listen to my ex-mommy trash talk me. I thought she loved us. But then I learned what love really is..." He made a fist in preparation for the battle. “I can’t lose this sensation.”

 

“That’s just how Killua felt.” Alluka attempted to explain, “That’s how I feel too! Why do you think I helped Big brother for all those years. Why do you think, I’d rush to his aid?” She held tighter to her younger brother. “But he didn’t ask for our help this time. So we need to respect his wishes.”

 

“I can’t!” Kalluto cocked his fist back, "We're doing this."

 

Alluka felt an insane amount of fear shoot through her. "Wait no Ka-" Her stubborn little brother charged inside the room. Kalluto's hair flew back as his legs launched him forward, his eyes blazing with anxiousness. She tried to pull him back. "UGH!"

 

“Enough of this madness.” Chrollo reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his weapon. “I’m done playing.” He took his time to aim at Gon’s heart. “I’m aiming to kill.”

 

“Mommy!” Kalluto cried out. He tilting his head to the side, “Move! The cops are going to bust in!”

 

“Oh, looks like the sacrifices have finally arrived.” Chrollo fired shots in Kalluto’s direction.

 

“No, Kalluto..!” Killua gave a  slur of curses, under his breath. He caught sight of Alluka dashing inside,  "FUCK IT! GON, GRAB THEM!"

 

"Eh?" Gon wiped some blood off his bottom lip. He delivered a mean punch to the side of Hisoka’s face. “Don’t you ever do that.”

 

Hisoka stumbled back, “You dirty b-” He reached over to put Gon in a headlock. “Now! Chrollo, let him have it!”

 

Alluka pushed Kalluto out the way from the shower of bullets. She complained, “Darn it. This is why I barely let you go out and do anything with me. You’ll get hurt.”

 

Kalluto let out praise, "Thank you! Thank you for finally telling me the truth!" He grinned deviously, “But I can handle myself.” His eyes glowed, as his voice lowered erierly, “Because Killua might be your savior or hero, but he’s not mine! So I have to do stuff for myself."

 

Chrollo switched up and fired away. The rogue bullets ricocheted around the room.  They cut through air, got caught in the bullet proof glass, and shot through control panels.

 

“Ack!” Gon grunted, as a bullet whizzed passed his head.

 

Hisoka blew back on impact, the powerful copper blasting through his neck. Blood erupted out of his body like a volcano, as his body tumbled to the ground.

 

“No!” Illumi gasped, as his lover bit the dust. “Hisoka! Hi-” The word from his mouth became inaudible as his his body began to decay at an unnatural speed. Tips of his fingers fell off, as his flesh began to turn to melt off his bones. He cursed them all with a face contorted in agony.

 

Killua watched on, awestruck by the sight. "Whoa! I can't believe you did that..?" His daze lighting up impressed. “Why did you do that?”

 

“Boss! You shot the wrong person!” Machi took aim at Gon. “But don’t worry I won’t miss.”

 

Killua heard gunshots firing from outside. “That must be Kurapika and Leorio.”

 

“It’s over for ya’ll. The backup is here.” Gon spat, kicking Hisoka’s body away from him. His eyes narrowed suspect when he didn’t get a response. He repeated, “You heard that, Chrollo?”

 

A weird trance, had come over the gang leader. Gon recognized it from before. It was the same trance Mito was in that day at the market, and the same trance Ging was in when he saw him run off with Killua. His mind clicked to some previous knowledge, “ _Kalluto, is doing that to do you a favor, ya know? He’s using his powers to control their mind.”_

 

Alluka hugged her baby brother tightely, “Love is also about respecting other people’s boundaries! Doing this Kalluto, voids every step Killua took to ensure we felt loved!”

 

The creepy glow of Kalluto’s eyes faded, as he sank into his sister’s arms. Crystal tears fell from his face, “BUT I CAN’T LET MY MOMMY DIE A SECOND TIME! I CAN’T! I CAN’T!”

 

“Oh now you’ve bastards done it.” Killua ran up, to zap Machi’s arm. “No one makes my siblings cry. We’re supposed to be a happy family!”

 

The woman screeched, dropping the weapon to the ground. Her body fried instantly when Killua mad contact with her flesh.

 

Hisoka crawled over, leaving a trial of warm blood behind him. “Damn bitches. Fucking with me like I’m some kind of joke.” He cussed, reaching for the gun.

 

“Oh no you don’t!” Gon stomped on Hisoka’s wrist. “Hands off.”

 

“Hehe…” Hisoka let out a slur of delusion laughter, “Be honest with me. After seeing your parents die, you don’t have the guts to do it." Blood leaked out his mouth as he demanded, “Give it to a real shooter.”

 

"I w-" Gon reached for the gun, but hesitated to grasp it.

 

"Try again, I can already hear the lie." Hisoka chanted cruelly, his voice wavering on the edge of death.

 

"THE GON YOU KNOW IS DEAD!" Gon found himself blurting. His heart twisted with all his painful feelings "He died, when, he saw his boyfriend commit murder for the first time."

 

“There is no limit to how much a human can lie.” Hisoka used his other hand to grab the weapon. “FINE THEN! If I’m going to hell, I’m taking you down with me.”

 

"NO! DEEP DOWN I'M PISSED OFF AT LIFE AND MYSELF FOR LETTING EVERYTHING GET THIS F- AHHH!" Pain erupted through Gon’s body.

 

“Ughh.. Gon." Killua's words came out slurred as storm of fatigue took over his body.

 

"It's okay..." A weak smile came on Gon's face that read, _'You did your best. Thank you for your service'_

 

Killua felt like a failure of a hero.

 

Hisoka chuckled lowly, "Hehe! I pity a fool like you." His voice broke into a wheeze, as the life rapidly oozed out of him. "Look at your hero, now! Look at him, reduced to the scum of the earth he is and always will be."

 

"How dare you regard to Killua, as if you know him?" Gon screamed out, his eyes starting to fill with tears. "Don't you dare disrespect, Killua like that! Don't disrespect my man like that! You take it back! Put some respect on Killua's name!" He snatched the gun and fired rapidly into Hisoka’s head. “You dead bitch! Yeah, I said it! You’re a BITCH! ALL YOUR EVER GOING TO BE IS A BITCH! YOU LIVED A BITCH AND YOU-”

 

Bullets drilled into Gon’s chest and stomach, sending him straight to the cold hard floor.

 

“You’re going to die a bitch.” Chrollo finished Gon’s statement. He calmly walked towards Gon’s convulsing body, firing more shots into it. “Wow. For a quick second, you almost had me there.” He squatted down to look the 16 year old in the eyes, “But you forgot the most important thing about comic books.” He yanked Gon up by his hair forcing him to face Killua’s rotting body.

 

Even through Gon’s body was in overwhelming pain, his memories began to kick in. This studio was the last place Killua made love him.

 

His eyes watched on his horror as his heart throbbed with the knowledge he was doing this to Killua. _Gon was killing him._

 

“No... They...have to.. B-eeeee saved.” He looked at Alluka and Kalluto. He commanded them, “RUN! GO NOW! There is someone waiting for you.” A sad smile crawled on his lips, “She may seem mean and cheap. She might not get you eat out or want you to go to a big college, but that’s only because she’s worried about your health and wants to keep you safe.”

 

Alluka grabbed Kalluto. She used all her strength to pull the boy out of the room.

 

Kalluto screamed and kicked. “NO! MOMMY!” He reached out to grab Gon.

 

Gon knocked his hand away, “LIVE!” He coughed, “YOU HAVE TO LIVE! IF YOU LIVE, KILLUA’S AND I’S LOVE LIVES ON FOREVER.” Soon as the words passed out his lips, he came to terms with how deep his selfishness really is. That was it...his tragic heroic flaw.

 

“Don’t say that.” Killua struggled to pronounce his last words, “Tha-aats not whahaat love is. Remember when we were 8 years old, yooouuuu told m-eeeeh.” Slowly, he opened his mouth say more but words became too difficult to come by. Everything seemed to freeze, his sight getting black and fuzzy at it zoned in on Gon.

 

Chrollo grinned maliciously, “For once your boyfriend is right. Don’t say I love you.” He pressed the gun to Gon’s heart, “Heroes do stuff for other people out of love. Because good always wins in the end when justice is served!” He sneered, pulling the trigger. “That’s what you forgot about comic books, Gon.”

 

The buzz in Gon’s brain was slowly fading to mush, lost in an entanglement of home.

 

Finally... in just a little while longer…...Killua and Gon would make it home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Thanks for the kudos n all that good junk. I spent some time rewriting this book and I know there is still a lot to fix up spelling/grammar ect. It’s a small improvement from my last version. (My fight scenes still need work.) The next chapter is the epilogue. Have a wonderful day!~Mel


	30. Epilogue (Of comic books and supervillains)

There were things in the world that humans could learn to accept. Stuff they knew about but choose to remain naive and ignorant about the subject. For example, ghost, demons, angels, werewolves, aliens, spirits, Gods or vampires...the list can go on forever.

 

Human will was a relentlessly allowing vast knowledge to spill through it’s grasp to obtain a simpler thing like sanity.

 

‘ _To have sanity was to become human’_ according to the world. ‘ _So life could be the best of what you can make it.’_

 

There is now a single person who can control their fate or destiny. A human who is one with the supernatural occurrences in their world.

 

But in reality speaking, ‘ _Life sucked’_ point blank and period. Even for those humans with the ability to see beyond.

 

Walking through a busy market place was a middle aged woman and an elementary boy. There were all kinds of people on the street selling crap. Most of them selling cheap knock offs of name brands, others selling fresh fruit, but the most eye catching stuff was the light up superhero toys.

 

The boy’s eyes widened at all the flashy lights, “Mommy!” He chirped, pointing at the little push stand.

 

The woman’s hand did not slap the child’s away, “Yes, Kalluto?” She addressed him, eyes still wandering over the many different kinds of fruit. She held tighter to the bag full of food in her hand as more people past, walking down the crowded street.

 

“I think those lights will go good on Gon’s gravestone.” Kalluto murmured, eye mesmerized by the lights.

 

Mito looked up from observing the fruit. “Gon always liked superhero things.” Her voice wavered on the verge on tears, “I think, I have the money to buy those for him now.”

 

Kalluto curiously titled his head to the side, “You want me to stop the cart?” He raised his hand up slightly, ready to finesse reality.

 

The woman shook her head. “No. What did I tell you about that?”

 

“But-”

 

“My roof, my rules.”

 

The boy frowned, “Yes, mame.” He accepted.

 

Mito smiled and patted his head, “As a reward, you get to choose what’s for dinner tonight.” She nudged him forward, slipping money in his pocket. “So think about it while you catch up to push cart!”

 

“Okay!” Kalluto smiled brightly, running after the cart.

 

His smile was one, Mito swore she recognized but couldn’t put a name to. Someone had a smile like that once. A smile so bright it out shined all the stars in the sky.

 

* * *

 

A familiar touch, made Alluka’s heart skip a few beats. She spun around bumping heads with her boyfriend. “Ouch! Zushi!”

 

Zushi laughed, “I’m sorry. There isn’t much space in here.” He shook his head, brown locks bouncing as he took a few steps back. “Why are we making out in the bathroom again?”

 

“In case Ms.Freecs or my little brother come back, while we’re kissing.” Alluka encouraged, leaning forward to connect their lips once more.

 

"My girlfriend is so smart.” Zushi pulled Alluka closer to him. Their lips mashed between sloppy breaths. "Master of the evasion skill..."

 

"You know it." Alluka chuckled. She felt Zushi fumble his touch on her body. Hands traced up and down her back trying to find a proper spot to land, until landing on her hips.

 

Zushi squeezed her endearingly. He moved his lips around to insert his tongue in her mouth.

 

“Am I good kisser?" Alluka hummed out, halfway panting. She twisted a finger in Zush's hair playfully, “My big brother wou-

 

Zushi pulled away slightly, “Don’t say his name while we’re kissing!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Didn’t you tell me he used to come in here and kiss his boyfriend? I don’t want to summon his ghost or something, then deal with him being mad at me for dating you.”

 

“My big brother wouldn’t be mad. He approved of you.”

 

“Still...I’m kind of not over your whole family situation.”

 

Alluka wiped the spit from the corner of her lips, “Oh.” She said softly.

 

The brown haired boy flashed her a shaky smile, “I mean, I think it’s pretty cool. You being like from another frequency and being the darkness to my light.” He timidly pressed a kiss on her nose. “It’s just weird, how your family problems spiraled that far out of control.”

 

“Does it scare you?” Alluka tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I could lose it and turn out like my brother some day.”

 

“I’d save you before it every gets that far.”  Zushi placed his hand on top of Alluka’s. “I promise, to protect you from yourself.” He nuzzled her hair.

 

A loud voice filled the house, “Alluka! We’re back! Per request from Kalluto we got pizza.”

 

“Oh, that’s Ms.Freecs!” Alluka squeezed Zushi’s hand, “You should go now.” She pushed open the bathroom door. “Go take the backdoor.”

 

Zushi stumbled out the bathroom, trying to fix his clothes on himself. “It would be bad, getting caught by our substitute teacher.” He giggled, “What’s it like living with her anyway? She seemed mean before, but it’s like she’s a whole new person now.”

 

Alluka shrugged, “She’s living for us now.” A tender look flashed on her face, “We’re making up for the family we all lack.” She tapped her chin, “So...I guess, she’s become a mommy figure.”

 

A shadow danced across the wall, as a small boy turned the corner. “Alluka! The pizza is going to get co-” His eye widened at the sight of Zushi.

 

The girl pointed at Kalluto warningly, “Not a word out your mouth.”

 

Kalluto grinned cunningly, “I get the last slice of cheese, and we have a deal.” He held his hand out.

 

“No way! That is so unfa-”

 

“MOOOOOM-HMM!”

 

Alluka covered his mouth, “Okay. Eat your heart out!” She shook his hand, sealing their sibling agreement.

 

Kalluto decided that he liked the new Alluka that came with them living with Mito. He enjoyed the spark of dedication from her.

 

“Hey, Kalluto.” Zushi high fived the child. “Catch ya later, little one.” He headed out towards the backdoor.

 

Alluka blew a kiss behind him.

 

Zushi turned back around, “Can’t leave without my sugar.” He caught the kiss.

 

“Each second you stay here cost Alluka another pizza slice.” Kalluto shrugged.

 

“Zushi get out!” Alluka playfully chased her boyfriend out the door.

 

“Hmm?” Mito shouted from across the house, “What are kids doing over there?”

 

Alluka’s dress got caught in the door as she slammed it closed. “Nothing. We’re coming.” She tugged at the bottom of her dress, the sem ripped as the cloth came free. “Awe.”

 

Kalluto headed over towards the kitchen. His eyes danced around, observing all the picture frames on the wall: pictures from Gon’s childhood, with many other people he didn’t recognize. There was one picture resting on the fireplace, it was of Alluka, Mio and him visiting an Ivy League School. It was for Alluka mostly---the girl was turning 15 soon and would take her Pre-SAT, Mito said it was important to explore all her possibilities.

 

“I’ll have to find a picture frame for that.” Mito mumbled, glancing at him. “But don’t worry, when you get older we’ll take you to tour all those fancy colleges too.” There was more money now. Most of it came from the large inheritance Alluka received from her dead family. The Zoldycks had been rolling in money.

 

“College.” The 10 year old mumbled, “That sounds so far away.” He dragged his feet across the newly installed hardwood floor of the living room and into the kitchen.

 

Mito opened up the pizza box. A warm expression on her face, “Well you don’t have to worry about it that much now.”

 

“I’m not worried! I want to keep on reading books.” Kalluto sat down eagerly. “I want to read big fancy college books!” He reached for a slice of pizza. “I want to read cook books, so I can learn how to make yummy food like this.” Sticking his tongue out, he licked the cheese.

 

The woman took a seat, “Eat properly, little one. The food is not going anywhere, I promise.” She handed Kalluto a few napkins.

 

Alluka sat beside her little brother. She let out a hum, “Can we go to the mall tomorrow? I need a new dress.”

 

“Of course we can.” Mito approved, “You guys need some new clothes for the upcoming school year anyway.”

 

Alluka patted Kalluto’s head, “It will be his first time going to school too!”

 

“Alluka!”

 

“I remember, middle school was so fun.”

 

“Heh, I just hope they have good books.”

 

“To Kill a Mockingbird, Catcher in the Rye, The Strange case of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde.”

 

“They all sound so cool! But I have an EIP so we’ll see how that goes.”

 

Mito relaxed them, “Don’t chew with your mouth open.” She shook her head, “Also don’t talk, that’s how people choke. I don’t want you kids to get hurt.”

 

Kalluto gulped down the rest of his pizza slice. He locked eyes with his sister who gave him a thumbs up.

 

Things changed now, a _better_ kind of change.

 

They could read books, not worry about poisoned food, not get beat for messing up, and go to school. They were regular kids!

 

Alluka liked this. She liked hearing, “ _I don’t want you kids to get hurt.”_ She liked going to the mall and hanging out with her boyfriend. She liked being cared about.

 

“High school is going to be amazing.” Alluka declared, “I know it is because Gon left such a good legacy for me after taking down the Spider gang.” She reached for a slice of pizza. “They deserve to rot in jail forever.” She clapped her hands together, quickly praying. “Thank you God, for the people fighting to reform the court system.”

 

“Oh…” Mito’s eye sparked up, “The councilor lady… Ms.Kruger, she wanted to meet ya’ll sometime this summer.”

 

“us?”

 

“Yep. She said she wanted to meet the kids, Gon saved.”

 

“And Killua.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“My big brother and Gon saved us.” Alluka corrected. She didn’t like how people treated Killua like a monster. They had no clue of what a good big brother Killua was, or how Killua had a change of heart. They believed the parts they _wanted to with selective hearing._ Because everyone was going to differ in their opinions. 

 

_Humans were stubborn when it came to changing their mind._

 

It was because of Killua that they were saved now.

 

Kalluto responded with a somber tone, “Why’d you say that?”

 

“He did.” Alluka insisted.

 

“I don’t care.” Kalluto bit his bottom lip, chewing steadily. He struggled to holding back an outburst. “Killua treated others just like he treated himself.” There was no hint of pity or grief for Killua’s situation at all.

 

Alluka opened her mouth then closed it abruptly. She was struggling to find the right words to explain. “Killua was your family.” She puts simply, “So don’t pretend that he didn’t do all this for us. He wanted to share Gon’s light with us.” 

 

“Killua? Family?! How can I be expected to care about him, when he couldn’t even care about himself?” Kalluto exasperated, tears built up in the corner of his eyes. “Yes, he loved. That doesn’t mean his love was okay. He tried his best and that wasn’t enough-!”

 

“Kalluto! Don't say what you don't mean!” Alluka gasped at the hate burning furiously in Kalluto’s eyes.

 

“I'm saying the dang truth!” Kalluto shoved more pizza in his mouth,  "Killua might have had pure intentions at first, but his vision got lost and corrupted! People died because of him." He narrowed his eyes, “And last time I checked, we don’t honor psychopaths.”

 

Alluka lowered her head. She mumbled lowly, “Humans don’t honor psychopaths.” A part of her understood, why Kalluto was so easy willing to throw his insanity away. She figured she should do it. But she couldn’t stand to lose a piece of herself, even if it kills her.

 

Mito cleared her throat loudly. “Come on now. Let’s not argue.” She smiled nervously, “It’s important that we focus on the good things in life. Like Kurapika inviting ya’ll to his summer bash party.”

 

“Whoop.” Kalluto cheered sarcastically, “A bunch of teenagers we don’t know having a pool party. I feel like it’s going to be just like his graduation party, so I’m not going.”

 

“I am.” Alluka declared, “I like parties.” She ate a slice of pizza.

 

“Gon used to like parties.” Mito mumbled to herself, “He’d love to go hang out.” She felt a warm fuzzy feeling in her heart. It felt like with Alluka and Kalluto, she was getting a second chance. A new start with a wonderful family and a chance to do things right.

 

She hoped things were better this time. Humans had to learn from their past mistakes, after all. If the cringe mistake was forgotten, there would never be a way to learn from it.

 

“Be really careful when you go. You’re worth more than dirty and deserve to live a life better than being an empty shell of yourself.” Mito encouraged them. She stood up to rub their heads, “I don’t know if it’s ever gonna be okay. It might hurt us, coming together as a family. Especially while the pain of the past still lingers, but long as we have each other, I think we’ll be fine.” It was a promise.

 

A loving promise made a long time ago, that survived for years and will for many more. Love is everlasting, what was said and done in the past that would always follow throughout the rest of one’s life.

 

_Love can pass through dimensions, worlds and can withstand all time._

**Author's Note:**

> This is the complete remix of my old book. Love y’all sunflowers. Hope your day is fucking BRIGHT like Gon’s beautiful smile. Come yell at me at my [ tumblr](https://sunshine-boruto.tumblr.com/) Sending lots of love/support.~Mel❤️


End file.
